An autoethnographic overview: trapped, breaking glass houses, violence, chaos, addiction, oh my!

Through the methodology of auto-ethnography I intend to weave together lived experience and research, with the purpose of examining the normative behaviours and socialization experienced by youth considered to be raised in high-risk social environments. What behaviors and patterns of socialization do children learn and emulate when violence and addiction is a continuing presence? Where parents, particularly mothers, are experiencing massive amounts of stress, are often unable to meet their own needs let alone the needs of their children. I will demonstrate what is learned as normative social behavior within the context of the family that leads to a lifelong struggle of navigating one's emotions, and further acts as a barrier to navigating the larger social system. My experience will demonstrate that what is learned in the the home environment as normal is deemed deviant by the dominant social structure. To enhance the overall body of knowledge, I will insert the narratives of professionals who have worked with high risk youth directly into the body of work. I further intend to demonstrate that the social reality of individuals raised in high risk social environments constructed since birth cannot be easily deconstructed, without a solid commitment to recognizing the impact of the family and community environment of the social and emotional development of the child. My own poetry and art work are integrated into this thesis as a way of explicating and sharing my process for knowing and healing. --Leaf iii.