> Semen Pe

A JOURNALIST decided to write up Madam Tussaud’s from a new angle when he went through the building in London. Meeting the laundress, he asked her to answer a few questions. The first was: “Do the Queens and Duchesses wear any- thing under their velvet robes?”

The laundress replied: “As a matter of fact they don’t, Sir. But I wouldn’t like you to publish that, because there’s only me and six Australian soldiers know about cts

A STORY in The Natal Mercury illustrates the housing shortage in America. It concerns an unhappy character who was found struggling for dear life in a river.

“Save me! Save me!” he screamed.

A passer-by stopped. “Where do you live?” he shouted.

“Save me! Save me first!” shrieked the drowning man. “We can talk later.”

“No, I must know your name and address first,” persisted the stranger. Finally the

drowning man managed to gurgle out the °

required information. The stranger was off like a shot.

Breathless, he arrived at the address the drowning man had given him.

“One of your tenants has just been drowned,” he told the landlady. “I'd like his room.”

“IT am sorry,” said the woman. “The gentleman who pushed him in has just rented it himself!”

KNOW THYSELF!

“IF you have the wisdom of Solomon,

The patience of Job,

The leadership of Moses,

The kindness of the Samaritan,

The strategy of Alexander,

The faith of David,

The diplomacy of Abraham Lincoln,

The tolerance of Confucius,

And a complete knowledge of criminal law and procedure,

You are a Police Officer.”

“NAME, Miss?” demanded the police- man.

“Desiree Stephanie St. John Delgrade—” began the motorist.

The policeman closed his notebook: “Tl give you one more chance, miss,” he said, “but it is the last, mind you.”

WANDERING through a village soon after his recent arrival in France Private Jones passed a church just as a newly married couple came out.

“Who's that?” he asked a gendarme.

“Je ne sais pas, m’sieu,” answered the gendarme.

An hour later, as Jones passed the church, a coffin was being carried out.

“Who’s that?” he again asked the gen- darme.

“Je ne sais pas, m’sieu,’ was the reply.

“Blimey!” said Private Jones, after a stunned silence. “He didn’t last long.”

SIR Edward Carson was once interrupte| by a judge with whom he had had sever, passages of arms. The judge had pointy out the discrepancies in the evidence of tyy of his witnesses, one a carpenter and th other a publican, when Sir Edward wittj}, and promptly retorted: “That is so, m lord: yet another case of difference betwee Bench and Bar.”

AT A British port a building was ale, over and converted into a barracks for wom. en serving in the navy. It bore the notice: “Admiralty—No Admittance.”

It took only a couple of hours before ; wag added: “Wrens Nesting Here.”

TWO dear old ladies were walking along a London street when they passed a couple of military policemen.

“Look, dear,” said one, “do you see thos men have M.P. on their armlets?”

“That’s what I call sensible,” replied the other. “It’s much better for them to patrol the streets than to waste their breath in the House of Commons.”

ACCORDING to Don Iddon, in the Daily Mail, Dorothy Lamour received a letter from a Czechoslovakian soldier in Britain recently.

Tt said: “I love you very much. I dream about you every night. Please send me a carton of American cigarettes.”

COMMODORE

KAMLOOPS

CAFE

Tourist and Commercial Headquarters

THE FINES CANbE Nee INTERIOR

ALEX KASSIONS, Proprietor

British Columbia

HOTEL

Overlooking the Lake

Sample Rooms, Etc.

PENTICTON, BRITISH COLUMBIA

NC@E/

@ Dining Room,

5. M. SIMPSON Limited

Manufacturers of

| Lumber of All Kinds, Millwork, Box Shook and Fruit Veneer Containers

Kelowna, B.C.

Page Sixty-two

THE SHOULDER STRAP