April 1, 1999

UNREAL NEWS

Over The Edge Page 3

CANDU? UNBC Might

University Focuses on Nuclear Power Development

By Adam Masher UNBC is expecting word later on the feasibility of

adding a CANDU Nuclear Reactor to the campus.

In a controversial move, the UNBC Administration made a decision to gath- er information about increasing the power generated on campus, as well as the potential for export to other external power grids.

“it is important that we have the power,” A high ranking UNBC official said during a press con- ference, “All of the power we need, and enough to hold the local economy in our hands.”

The officials also were expected to outline how

keeping the local busi- nesses in a state of per- petual ‘brown-out’ condi- tions would make the UNBC Administra-tion the “ultimate northern authori- ty”, but the advent of protestors breaking into the UNBC Senate Chambers brought them up short.

“You've sold my education to the Devil? shouted a

student protestor a

dressed up as a giant bottle of beverage, “Life is a bottle of lemon- ade to this administration,

(a) Fuctling Machines

back!”

“Do you know where | live,” shouted another pro- testor, waving around a semi-automatic water pis-

reactor site! | for one don’t want to glow in the dark!”

The protest was quietly put down with a minimum of fuss.

a

we

at?

tol, “I live one hundred and | want my money and fifty feet from that

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Once the clouds of tear gas had evaporated, the

discussion was obviously

not as vigorous as before. “| think that the students

really have the ability to

unnerve and destroy this process,” said an unnamed sub-member of the meeting, “It is cru- cial that the UNBC cam- pus be able to become self sufficient before Y2K hits us hard?

The protest was sparked when students discovered that the CANDU reactor would be installed next to the student residences, replacing the current location of the UNBC Power Plant. Furthering the anger of the students

was the eagerness of the UNBC Administration to

renew the beverage monopoly contract on campus with a special clause stating that the company awarded the contract would have to provide enough of their product to allow for the creation of a “coolant reservoir’ for the reactor. “If this keeps up, not one company on the face of this planet will desire to have any affiliation with the UNBC campus,’ said a member of the student resistance forces, “And then we can kiss scholar- ships and_ bursaries

goodbye. This is not a

helpful process”