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Over the Edge, February 10-24, 2010

Andrew Bailey Editor in Chief

Ina nail-biting throw down of razzle dazzle basketball the T-Wolves

I-Wolves Timber Douglas

managed to edge out the Douglas College Royals 80-78 on Saturday. There was a disappointingly modest crowd in attendance to witness one of the greatest comebacks since Steamin Willie Beamin left the gridiron. The lack of attendance can probably be blamed on Saturday night be- ing a common date night. Lucky for you, my loyal readers, I don't go on those. I did however have spectacular company as I attended the game with the most wonderful woman in existence, the top left guard in BC high school history, and current holder of the awesomest mother cham- pion of the world title, the pride of Victoria B.C, Darlene Bailey. It was, as always, a pleasure.

What was not a pleasure however, was watching the way our T-Wolf men’s team played the first half of Saturday night's matchup against the Royals. With the exception of fan-favourite Sammy Raphael, the entire T-Wolves roster started off the game completely uninspired, flat footed, and sluggish. Let's begin.

Already down by double digits in the 2nd quarter the T-Wolves took a brutal kick to the throat when Dinosaur sized rookie Kevan Madsen went up for a big-time backboard slapstyles rejection and came down from his 8 foot pole vault awkwardly landing on his mega-sized arm. The fall looked uglier than the Christmas sweater your Aunty knitted you last Christmas and it forced Madsen to hobble off the court after at least a minute of agony filled floor rolling, He returned to action a few minutes later but then left for the locker room with a minute left in the half and did not return.

In theory, Madsen’s absence should have lead to a larger role for, 3rd. year post, Dennis Stark to step up into. However he was unable to estab- lish any physical presence in the offensive paint with the referees calling him on a Niagara of early offensive fouls. Stark has struggled to find a role within this season’s new-look T-Wolf team and has suffered an enormous drop in production from his play last season.

Without Madsen’s size on the court and UNBC'’s trifecta of three- point precision: Matt Mills, Inderbir Singh Gill, and Jose Araujo, all shooting colder than the last popsicle in the family- pack box, the T- Wolves walked away from the first-half down 52-36, It would have been a much huger deficit were it not for Sammy Raphael having a monster game both defensively and offensively, Raphael has really come into his own this year however his role is that of a solid support player. Without anyone on the court to dish any support to, the scoreboard isnt going to change much. Although he has improved drastically, Raphael does not yet have the game to be able to carry an entire team the way such T-Wolves as Jay Gladish, Paul Burkholder, or the aforementioned Singh Gill have in the past.

During half-time I discovered a whole new row of urinals in the men’s bathroom that I had no idea existed. Next time you're in there look directly across from the stalls and bam, you'll see urinals you never knew existed. It was a remarkable discovery and my day only got better from there as Coach Raimbaulet told his T-Wolves whatever they needed to hear to produce a huge second-half comeback. UNBC seemed dead in the water to start off the 3rd Q but in basketball, as Kevin Garnett so eloquently put it after his Celtics bought an NBA title, “anything is pos- sible.”

What's important to remember here is that Douglas College isn't any good. Two years ago they were the best BCCAA team ever assembled,

UNBC Overthrows Royals

Andrew Bailey Editor in Chief

frustration she causes opposing offenses can be likened to the frus- tration felt by Microsoft customers.

College

but since then all their athletes have graduated and this year they are struggling to land a playoff spot. Therefore when T-Wolf superstars Gill and Araujo turned their game-amp volume to 11, and duct-taped the dial stuck during the 3rd and 4th quarters, the Douglas College Royals were screwed more proper than Lindsay Lohan after a round of Jell-O- shooters.

Gill started off the momentum swing by landing 5 points in 3 sec- onds, dropping a 3-bomb and then finding an open layup thanks to a Francis Rowe steal on the Royals inbound pass. This momentum was propelled by the instantly hot hand of Jose Araujo who began raining down 3's with the accuracy of an SA80 assault weapon. (Which is per- fectly acceptable to use as a hunting tool no matter what Michael Igna- tieff tries to tell you) However despite the onslaught of T-Wolf offense the Royals brought some offense of their own in the 3rd Q, deterring UNBC's comeback charge. Much of this Douglas College offense came from second and third chances made possible by the exceptional offen- sive rebounding skills of Royal shooting guard, Jobair Satari who, like seemingly ever other Royal on the court, hit a huge percentage of his shot attempts.

Royal point guard David Aurel is listed at 5’8”, That, however, is a damndable lie and there is not a word of truth in it. If he listed himself at 55” that would be pushing it, the kid is about 5’3’, maybe 5’4”, Lets put it this way, if you were getting a prescription filled and he was the dude in the elevated area behind the pharmaceutical counter, he would still be shorter than you. He could go rock-climbing on a curb. I'm not trying to be mean here but I know for a fact that if the fair came to town he wouldn't be allowed on about 60% of the rides and would need a stool to play skee-ball. While he was on the court I couldnt help wondering who was guarding his lucky charms. He dated Thumbelina for a while but she had to break it off because she liked wearing heels. He would be banned from local nudist colonies for poking his nose in other people's business. His entire uniform could have been fashioned from one of my bandanas, Hed have to show ID to ride the bus unsupervised. C'est fin, you're welcome.

Hilariousness aside, Aurel’s ball- handling is immaculate (settle down). He does things with the basketball that I have never seen before which allows him to be extremely effec- tive in the usually big-man dominated offensive paint. This caused mad frustration for the T-Wolves defensively as they could come up with no answer for his incredible ability to churn like butter through seemingly un-open lanes produc- ing an avalanche of lay-ups that kept the Royal’s score rising

like the sea level around the Maldives. His dominance lasted until the 4th Q when the refs started watering him down with traveling violations that succeeded in cooling his game off sufficiently.

Aurel wasn't the only Royal to turn to ice during the 4th quarter as the Douglas College's shooters, who had been consistently dropping 3- balls through the mesh at will, began producing more bricks than Pablo Escobar. Starting off the final quarter leading the game 73-66, the Royals became superglued to the number 73 in a scoring drought that seemed to last about 5 minutes. During this span the T-Wolves were able to tie the game thanks to sharp shooting from Gill as well as some exceptionally clutch defense from 3rd year guard, Sebastien-Kevin Louis who logged some rare minutes in this barn-burning cockfight.

With the T-Wolves down by a single point with 41 seconds left on the clock, Francis Rowe seemed to have the ball knocked out of his hands but managed to regain possession of it and dish it over to Gill who hit an enormously clutch-to-the-max tres while falling on his back. This gave the T-Wolves a 2-point lead with 26 seconds left. The Royals imme- diately called a time-out to work on their final possession strategy. The enormously loud home crowd who stood on their feet screaming behind the Royal's bench made any kind of conversation in their huddle impos- sible. This obviously had the desired effect as Douglas College complete- ly wasted their last possession which produced no ball movement and ended with a desperate buzzer beater, by Jobair Satari, from way deep in the suburban three street that had no chance of landing, The game ended 80-78, with Jobair Satari winning the Douglas College Player of the Game Award and Gill taking those honours for UNBC.

PW Re REFL | LOOK LIK

In an enormously one-sided matchup, the UNBC Women T- Wolves destroyed the Douglas College Royals 93-51 on Saturday night. This game was never close as Douglas College was complete- ly outmatched by UNBC’s dynamic offense despite major injuries to the T-Wolves starting five with Kady Dandeneau sitting out for the second straight week and Soili Smith out of the lineup as well. Those megathletes were hardly missed however as the T-Wolves followed the leadership of their signal caller, Christine Kennedy, to an enormous blowout victory.

With the first half ending in a 40-15 UNBC lead, our be- loved T-Wolf mascot struggled to build up any excitement from the modest crowd in attendance. But it is awesome that we have a mascot again. Especially one that actually moves around and tries to motivate some home crowd noise. This newly energetic mascot will be a huge asset in closer games against more formidable op- ponents.

After scoring only 15 points in the first half, the Royals start- ed off the 3rd Q with their first three possessions ending in shot clock violations. This is becoming a common sight during T-Wolf games as T-Wolves head coach Loralyn Murdoch's patented full court press forces teams to kill much of their time limit in their own zone, Coach Murdoch is able to implement this full-court D all game due to the exceptional endurance of UNBC point guard Christine Kennedy who, despite still nursing a tender ankle, is able to match any point guard in the BCCAA step for step. Kennedy is by far the best defensive point guard I have ever seen and the

Proper etiquette would suggest that a team leading by a huge amount late in a game, should let up a little bit in an act of po- liteness and mercy. However proper etiquette never won a BC- CAA championship whereas Murdoch has, therefore there's no argument for etiquette enthusiasts to make. Thusly, with a 90-51 T-Wolf lead, it should have come as no surprise to fans that the T-Wolves did not just let the clock run down with their last pos- session. Instead, 3rd year forward Jennifer Clyne nailed a buzzer beating 3-bomb to move the T-Wolves point total to 93 in the last second of the game.

The mammoth lead allowed some rare playing time for several of the T-Wolves lesser known stars. T-Wolf rookie Jennifer Marsh played an extremely active role, chasing down loose balls aggres- sively and playing a very physical game. She has an exceptionally powerful running style similar to Dallas Cowboys back Marion Barber III. It consists of strong arm action and very quick move- ments. Her aggressiveness and tenacity gives her extremely great potential to become a tremendous force in the BCCAA.

Second year guard, Chelsea Thorne also took full advantage of her rare playing time, throwing up a ton of shots and smoking nothing but the bottom of the net. She, in fact, went on to win the UNBC Player of the Game award, which is a remarkable state- ment to the depth that this year’s T-Wolves are loaded with, The Royals were clearly frustrated with themselves after the game as illustrated by their Player of the Game award winner, 62” center Cynthia Lawson, as she flipped a very enthusiastic bird to a group of her own teammates on her way to the locker room.

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