SEPTEMBER 24, 3002

Cutture 18

By

Kathleen De

Vere and Ryan Cunningham

Hello! And welcome to Return of the son of second cousin twice removed’s aunt’s mom’s girlfriend’s next door neighbour’s Anime Review! Biznatch! To start off the year of reviews in a big way, Ryan-san and I decided to review Fake. Why? Well, first of all, it was in at the video store, and second, we’ve never reviewed an ‘alternate lifestyles’ anime before, mostly because it was there though.

Fake was originally a manga in BExBOY magazine, which I assume caters to shounen-ai (boy’s love) and yaoi (hot ‘n sweaty boy’s love San Fran style) kinds of manga. Fake was released as an OAV by Animeworks, and was licensed by Media Blasters. It follows the story of two New York cops, Dee Laytner and Randy “Ryo” Maclane. Dee wants to seduce Randy, and Randy thinks he might want that but he’s not sure. So is it a romantic comedy? Well no... it could have been funny and interest- ing, but Fake brings in a very stupid (and I mean stupid) murder mystery plot. Dee and Randy are on vacation, at an English inn. Then all the Japanese and half Japanese peo- ple around the area start to die. Then some guy named Berkley Rose shows up. For no good reason. Then some kid named J.J. who has the hots for Dee shows up. For no good reason. And then some annoying kids show up. Hijinks ensue, but not for any good rea- son. The problem with Fake is that it has a very, very weak excuse for a plot. First it’s a murder mystery. Then a ghost shows up for some reason? When the murderer reveals himself he’s got a terrible reason for killing

Be Art-Inspired!

people, and we hear things like “the cook is actually my adopted son, but he never pro- tected my daughter so I’m going to kill him!” UGH. According to some friends of mine, if Ryan and I had bothered to import the 7 volumes of the Fake manga from Japan as she did, we would have understood the plot much better. You’ve got to be kidding me! As far as I’m concerned an OAV should make sense even if you haven't read the manga. For those of you who are interested in Fake, Tokyopop is releasing the Fake manga, and the OAV is readily available at video stores. But, don’t take my word for it, let's hear what Ryan has to say!

Well, I have returned. I would like to thank all my admiring fans (thanks mom) for begging my being included in Over the Edge this semester. But enough with the for- malities, you folks don’t want to hear about me, you want to hear about Fake , the latest anime that my good friend Kyasarin-san and I have subjected ourselves to for your slight amusement. Fake is the gripping tale of two New York detectives on vacation to get away from the pressures of big city life. During their gripping vacation, they are caught in the grip of a gripping string of gripping murders in the gripping English hotel they are staying at. Of course for no reason, eventually a ghost shows up. Truly gripping. Through the hour that HIS cea movie went on, we, the audience, were introduced to a plethora of characters that may or may not be relevant to the story. Ok, most of them are not relevant to the story at all, but in lieu of using real story writing conventions like suspense and action, the makers of this drivel decided to continue introducing unimportant charac- ters to try and keep us guessing as to who is

The Anime Review

Hey Kiddies! This week | reviewed Fake, the Limp Bizkit of Anime!

the real murderer. If I haven't veiled my cyn- icism too much yet, you will by now under- stand that this is NOT A MOVIE. Fake (and I still don’t know why they called it that) is a cure for insomnia. Do not let anyone who is clinically depressed watch this movie, for after enduring even a sample of this tripe, they will surely lose all faith in the contin- ued creativity of mankind and throw them- selves upon something sharp from a tall building. Boy, that was grim.......

I guess I should mention that aside from the whodunit/murder-mystery plot and the “Run from the ghost” Scooby-Doo Plot, there is a third, much more sinister plot. The “We are two gay New York cops, one of which is about three drinks from being a ser- ial rapist, and one of which is quite possibly

autistic” plot.

The characters in this movie are terrible, and the plot is, well, not a plot, several pieces of plots that could possibly be from up to six different movies. If I had one nice thing to say about this movie, it would be that it leaves you thinking such tough ques- tions as: Who wrote this crap? Why would anyone invest money in this project? Which species of monkey drew the character design? Why do two totally inept police offi- cers befriend an eight-year old boy and a thirteen year old girl? Argh! I can’t do this anymore, first Sorcerer on the Rocks, now this? I quit!

So, join me next week for a fun look into some other crappy stuff, I dunno.

News from the Chinese Cultural

By Jessica Johnson

Looking for a new way to satisfy those artist’s cravings? Prince George’s Two Rivers Gallery offers ever-changing exhibitions and hands-on workshops designed to release the creative urges in every- one.

Currently, the gallery is showing a collection of Lisa Hebden’s Beach Paintings, which offers a glimpse into the dreamy world of relaxing at the beach in front of a serene shoreline, and Suzanne Bessette’s Codes: Practical and Poetic, which is an abstract art form featuring

_ Fresh Pasta

pricing codes, text and symbols and serves to hide an underlying meaning of identity.

The next exhibition to look out for is one of Digital Prints, which begins October 9th. The work to be seen here is a new and question- able form of art in which the image is first produced with the help of a computer.

The art gallery also features spe- cial programs for people of all ages. Adults can sign up for an assortment of classes ranging from Digital Photography to Life Drawing (yes, this means “naked”,

_ & Sauces

Close to UNBC _ Near Alfredo s Pub 4170 15th Ave -10;30 - 5:30 Mon. - Fri.

Tel. 563 - 4171.

so you must be 18 to participate in this one). Don’t want to be locked into weekly classes? That’s okay. One-time workshops on the same topics are also scheduled. There are also a variety of child’s classes for those looking for creative ways to have some quiet time.

Two Rivers Gallery is open Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday: 10am - 5pm, Thursday: 10am - 9pm, and Sunday: 12pm - Spm. Admission is $5.00 per visit or, with the flash of a student card, only $4.00. Even better, Thursdays, from 3pm - 9pm, are free. And if you really get addicted to this fas- cinating escape into the realm of an art-inspired life, pick up a stu- dent membership for only $22.00.

For more information, inquisi- tive people can call the gallery at 614-7800 or check out the website at www.tworiversartgallery.com. Of course, visitors are always wel- come to drop in and check out for themselves what this architectural- ly pleasing building has to offer.

Association (CCA)

By CCA staff

With this being our first col- umn of the school year, the CCA would like to welcome all of the new and returning students. For those of you who don’t know about us yet, the CCA is the Chinese Collegiate Alliance. Simply put, we’re a social club full of fun-seeking people who want to make new friends and experience the Chinese culture with activities such as movies, traditional celebrations, language lessons, and mah jong tourna- ments. We also like to enjoy some not-exactly Chinese activities such as paintball, dances, and fashion shows.

Before we start telling you about our upcoming event, we would just like to send a huge thanks to all of the people who went to the China Sail dinner last Saturday. You all made it a spec- tacular night worth remember- ing. The food was great, we all had a good time, and nearly everybody made some new

friends. For those who couldn’t make it, don’t worry about being left out. Due to the success of this first dinner, we've already started planning the next event.

Back by popular demand, the CCA is extremely excited to pre- sent its second annual mah jong tournament. What is mah jong? It is an Asian hybrid of poker, dominoes, and backgammon, full of fun, strategy, excitement, and tons of laughter. For those famil- iar with the game, you know that ‘we're talking about a good-time. For those not familiar with this, instructors and players of all skill levels, as well as instructions, will be present to have you playing like a pro in no time. If you're interested in joining us for this super event, or just want to watch and see what all the excitement is about, be sure to show up 7:30 at the cafeteria on the 26th (this Friday!). The mah jong is free for CCA members, and a mere $1 for non-members (less than a pop!).