A TRAUMA INFORMED PARENTING PROGRAM, “PARENTING WITH
PRESENCE”
By
Kyla-Rae Laferdy
B.S.W., University of Northern British Columbia, 2010

FINAL PRACTICUM REPORT SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE
REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK

UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA
August 2025
© Kyla-Rae Laferdy

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Table of Contents
Introduction ..................................................................................................................................... 1
Description of Practicum Setting ............................................................................................... 4
Agreed Upon Learning Outcomes….......................................................................................... 5
Key Concepts .................................................................................................................................. 7
Theoretical Orientation ................................................................................................................... 7
Literature Review ............................................................................................................................ 9
Defining and Understanding Trauma… .....................................................................................9
Trauma Informed Practice........................................................................................................ 11
Childhood Trauma and Parenting ............................................................................................ 11
Parenting Approaches Explored ............................................................................................... 13
Learning Experiences from the Practicum .................................................................................... 19
Implications for Professional Practice........................................................................................... 26
Further Areas of Research ........................................................................................................28
Conclusion..................................................................................................................................... 30
Dear Daughter .......................................................................................................................... 32
References ..................................................................................................................................... 33
Appendix A: Learning Contract .....................................................................................................37
Appendix B: Practicum Proposal… .............................................................................................. 41
Appendix B: Phoenix Transition Society Pamphlet...................................................................... 64
Appendix C: Parenting with Presence Curriculum Outline .......................................................... 66

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Introduction
In May of 2023, I formally resigned from the Ministry of Children and Family
Development (MCFD) in Prince George, British Columbia, after working 12 years in the area of
child welfare. I practiced as a frontline child protection social worker for eight years on various
family service teams followed by four years as a team leader where I provided child welfare
consultation. In total, I spent approximately 25,000 hours in child welfare practice. Ever since
adolescence, it had been my dream to practice in child welfare or child protection, with the hope
and desire to show up for people, in a way that created meaningful growth and change. At the
young age of 15, the doors of child protection denied me services, because I did not feel
comfortable to share or disclose my lived experiences. I will never forget the way services or a
lack thereof were delivered to me that day. The social worker that met with me made no effort in
building rapport. The interaction felt rushed, impersonal, and emotionless. I had never sought
help from outside support of my immediate family and did not feel comfortable with a stranger
asking me if I had ever been abused, without asking anything about me other than my name and
date of birth. I was not provided with an opportunity to learn what abuse meant, or if my
circumstances met the mandate for services. There was no sense of assurance that my situation
would lead to safety. I left the office without finishing the intake process, and although I did not
know it at that time, I would spend the latter part of my life striving to show up for people in
ways that I had hoped people would have shown up for me.
I remember feeling afraid that I would not fit into the boxes the social worker was
checking off, and that I might not get the support I truly needed at the time. That moment shaped
the trajectory of the next twenty years of my life, in significant ways. I have carried that
experience passionately throughout my time as a social work practitioner. It continues to show

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up, in my personal and professional life. It remains a core value in who I am and how I practice
as a social worker. A person-centered, trauma informed approach remains at the core of who I
am and how I walk with others. It is my perspective that taking the time to slow down processes
and allow a person to tell their story, is critical within the scope of practicing social work. Rides
at the Door and Trautman (2019) say it best, in that “systems that interact with vulnerable
populations have an obligation to be trauma informed . . . organizations that provide services to
individuals who have experienced trauma must attend to the unique ways in which these
experiences impact well-being” (p. 368). It is my obligation to participate as an agent for social
change, that in essence, captures what it means to truly be, trauma informed.
During my time in the field of child welfare, it had become evident that there were
barriers to implementing trauma informed practice and programming when serving children and
families. It was apparent that individuals parenting approaches were impacted by their
experiences of trauma. It is my hope that the research I conducted on this topic during my
practicum, will provide meaningful insight into the development of a parenting program that can
be provided to individuals to enhance their capacity and reduce the potential for ongoing and/or
future child welfare involvement. During my professional practice, it became evident that parents
and professionals alike were seeking guidance when it came to parenting. In my own parenting
journey, I too, can relate to wanting such knowledge. As a parent who has overcome extensive
childhood adversities, with a passion to parent in the ways I was not privy to, I set forth on a
quest to evolve in my own parenting journey. I do not know how many times individuals would
say, “I wish there were a manual for parenting!” Last year, I stumbled upon Dr. Shefali
Tsabary’s book, “The Parenting Map” (2023). Very quickly, this book provided a map that

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guided parenting using step by step solutions to consciously create the ultimate parent-child
relationship.
Upon further reading, I began to delve deeper into Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s earlier work,
“The Conscious Parent” (2010). This book captures “the emotional and spiritual lessons
inherent in the parenting process, so that we can use them for our own development, which in
turn will result in the ability to parent more effectively” (Tsabary, 2010, p. xv). Drawing
inspiration from these two books, the resilience and strength of individuals who courageously
work to improve themselves, and my own personal and professional experiences, I am starting
this journey to develop a foundational parenting program. This program will be accessible to
individuals who may not have the opportunity to access such resources. This program will
provide the tools to work on their healing with the ability to apply the knowledge to their
everyday life. Offering a parenting program at a non-profit transition house, the Phoenix
Transition Society, that is founded in conscious parenting is a meaningful space to start.
Providing opportunities to learn about parenting and enhancing one’s skills to parent, while
mitigating any child safety concerns, will be imperative in the ongoing service delivery within a
transition house setting. I am hopeful that this program will lay the foundation for all other
programming delivery for the Phoenix Transition Society. This is a program topic that is far too
often undervalued and overlooked and is imperative to individual and collective healing.
I have chosen to focus my topic on developing a trauma informed parenting program that
is rooted in the power of presence, acknowledging the need to focus on how to communicate
parenting knowledge to individuals who are motivated to learn new strategies to effectively
parent their children. It is my intention to utilize this research as my foundation in my future
Ph.D. endeavour, branching out into other areas of trauma informed practice within mentorship

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and leadership. It is my dream to one day teach trauma informed social work practice, as a
professor. In my professional experiences, I recognized the importance of how social work
practitioners ought to walk alongside parents, that directly impacts the outcomes for children,
youth and families. Research remains limited on the topic of trauma informed parenting,
however, current research I have conducted thus far, suggests that it has the potential to be
impactful and truly, revolutionary. I conducted research related to the best practices of trauma
informed, present parenting, not only from a Western perspective, but from around the globe. I
examined and recognized the strength and courage that is required to look within and gain the
awareness of how individuals show up as human beings, and more specifically, in parenting
roles. It is an honor to offer this opportunity to women who ever so bravely access the Phoenix
Transition House to embark on their healing journeys, of mind, body, and spirit. It is my hopes
that this parenting program will establish a solid footing for any woman who is embracing her
healing journey, as a powerful starting place.
Description of the Practicum Setting
My practicum placement began on January 9, 2025, at the Phoenix Transition Society in
Prince George, B.C, and was comprised of 450 hours. The Phoenix Transition Society was the
first transition house for women and children in Prince George, British Columbia, and was
established in 1974. In the Phoenix Transition Society’s 2023-2024 Annual General Meeting
booklet, the Phoenix Transition Society celebrated 50 years of service to Prince George and
surrounding communities, providing temporary shelter to over 37, 500 women and children. The
Phoenix Transition Society is a transition house that primarily provides temporary shelter for
women and/or women with children who have experienced violence and/or abuse. The transition
house can provide temporary shelter for up to 20 women and their children at one time, with an

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average length of stay being approximately 90 days (personal communication, Karen Underhill,
March 5, 2025). The agency’s philosophy is that “the house operates with a feminist focus. Our
goal is to assist residents through positive self-development and while transitioning into
mainstream society” (Phoenix Transition Society). Over the years, the transition house has
evolved to offer safety, support, and connection to women from all walks of life, whether it be
transiency, homelessness, addictions, mental health, and/or corrections. The transition house is a
structured environment that provides women with programming to guide and support them on
their healing journeys.
During my practicum at the Phoenix Transition Society, I had the opportunity to immerse
myself within the day-to-day functioning of the transition house and its structure and routine.
This included reviewing relevant policy, practice guidelines, relevant data and statistics, as well
as historic and current parenting programs offered at the Phoenix Transition Society and
transition houses throughout the province of British Columbia. I was intrigued to learn about the
support provided to mothers within the transition house, and how helpful it would be to offer an
in-house parenting program. Often, mothers who arrive at the Phoenix Transition House are on
waitlists for parenting programs within the community, mandated by MCFD. Creating a
parenting program within the Phoenix Transition Society could provide meaningful opportunities
to initiate the dialogue with mothers on parenting within a trauma informed space while
strengthening her current knowledge and skills. Furthermore, a parenting program that focuses
on personal growth and healing is in alignment with the Pheonix Transition Society’s philosophy.
Agreed Upon Learning Outcomes from the Learning Contract
During my practicum at the Phoenix Transition Society, I became acquainted with the
agency mandate, policy, and process for service provision. I spent time reviewing and

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understanding the agency’s vision and mission statement, and core values. I familiarized myself
with the theoretical framework of feminist and anti-oppressive practices, as it applies to my final
project of creating “Parenting with Presence” programming that will be offered in the future at
the Phoenix Transition Society. I spent time researching current and historic parenting
programming that has been offered at the Phoenix Transition Society, within the community of
Prince George, BC, and throughout the province of British Columbia. I was able to review
academic literature on the functioning and establishment of groups and facilitation, including
meeting with a local group facilitator for Circle of Security. During my practicum, I took time to
study parallels and intersectionality as it pertains to parenting and the healing journey
Furthermore, I was able to explore how “Parenting with Presence” can be offered to women
staying at the Phoenix Transition Society that may not be parents, as it can provide the
opportunity to tap into individual healing overall.
Throughout my practicum, I had scheduled bi-weekly times to connect with members of
my supervisory committee. Having the space to collaborate, debrief, reflect, and brainstorm
provided me with opportunities to ensure that I was constructing a well thought out parenting
program that remains trauma informed, and client centered at its core. I was able to implement
the process of visual journalling as part of my practicum experience and began practicing tools
that have been recommended to become a more present parent within my own parenting journey
with my daughter. Dr. Shefali Tsabary recommends the journalling process as imperative to
becoming a more conscious parent (2010). The visual journalling process will be embedded
within the “Parenting with Presence” programming, as a tool to express oneself using creative
means that does not necessarily require verbal dialogue. This tool will be offered as a way for

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parents to reflect, to grow, and to heal within their parenting journeys. For full details of the
Learning Contract, please find attached as Appendix A.
Key Concepts
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) - refers to “the abuse, neglect, and traumatic
experiences in childhood that directly affect long-term adolescent and adult health” (Goddard,
2021, p. 145).
Parent – defined as any person who is providing direct care to a child, whether part time and/or
full time. Parent can be a mother, father, stepparent, grandparent, sibling, extended family
member, family friend, acquaintance, foster parent, and/or adoptive parent.
Parenting with Presence – A daily, intentional practice that is “described as a set of practices
that are consistently integrated into a parent’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours, through present
moment-awareness and acceptance during parent-child interactions” (Cowling & Gordon, 2022,
p.51).
Shame – Shame is something all humans experience. “Shame is the fear of disconnection – it’s
the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal
that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection” (Brown, 2012, p.68)
Trauma - “trauma comes from the Greek word for wound, which vividly describes what it feels
like. It’s a serious, unwanted, harmful event that can lead to lasting pain” (Najavits, 2019, p,2).
Theoretical Orientation
The Phoenix Transition Society prides itself in a framework that is feminist, personcentered, and anti-oppressive. This framework remains at the foundation of the Phoenix

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Transition Society, within the organizational structure and day-to-day practical operations for the
women and children they serve. Feminist social work practice involves “linking the personal to
the political through consciousness-raising, validating women’s strengths and experiences,
reducing power differences, promoting self-disclosure and sharing of knowledge, and creating
supportive environments” (Heinonen & Spearman, 2006, p.286). From a feminist, personcentered perspective, the Phoenix Transition Society strives to look at how the personal is
political, and the political is personal in the lives of the women and children being served.
“Parenting with Presence” will “validate the women’s experiences and uncover strategies for
improving policies or services that could benefit women” (Heinonen & Spearman, 2006, p.287).
Feminist practice within the Phoenix Transition Society means to affirm an individual’s worth
and ensure that their basic needs are taken care of, including safety, food, and shelter (Heinonen
& Spearman, 2006).
Anti-oppressive social work practice “involves critical reflection about oppression and its
harmful effects on clients and action-based learning from such reflection” (Heinonen &
Spearman, 2006, p.141). Critical self reflection is an integral part of the day-to-day operations of
the Phoenix Transition Society. The Phoenix Transition Society provides service to a diverse
population of women, which means it is imperative that the organization is culturally sensitive
and anti-oppressive within its’ practice, providing service to all women and children, regardless
of their background. Anti-oppressive practice provides opportunities for different perspectives
that lean into an individual’s strengths, capacities, and resources (Heinonen & Spearman, 2006).
Anti-oppressive practice within the Phoenix Transition Society ensures to recognize the
marginalization, discrimination, and/or oppression of women and children served and to take
steps to address experiences of personal and/or structural oppression. Women and children

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remain at the center of the Phoenix Transition Society, from policies to practice standards. As
Heinonen and Spearman (2006) explain, “class represents a major structural form of oppression
while other sources of oppression, such as sexism, racism, and those based on physical ability,
sexual orientation, age, and others, cut across class.” Within the Phoenix Transition Society, there
are many forms of oppression that women often face through personal experiences of
homelessness, mental wellness and/or trauma experiences, racism, colonization, and poverty. The
Phoenix Transition Society strives to raise consciousness, by “exploring how individual distress
or problems have roots in unequal access to the resources that improve people’s quality of life in
society” (Heinonen & Spearman, 2006, p.296). Creating a supportive, nurturing environment that
validates a woman’s experiences, courage, and resiliency while sharing knowledge, is at the heart
of the work at the Phoenix Transition Society.
Literature Review
Defining and Understanding Trauma
Najavits (2019) describes that “trauma comes from the Greek word wound, which vividly
describes what it feels like. It’s a serious, unwanted, harmful event that can lead to lasting pain”
(p.2). Wounds can be emotional, physical, or both, with most people experiencing a minimum of
at least one wound in their lifetime, and for others, there may have been a multitude of wounds
(Najavits, 2019, p.2). Trauma can involve a breadth of physical events, such as car accidents,
sexual assault, physical violence, fires, life threatening illness or injury, natural disasters,
unexpected death of a loved one, and domestic violence (Najavits, 2019). Trauma can also
involve non-physical events, such as emotional abuse, bullying, neglect, homelessness,
abandonment, major loss, growing up with mentally ill parents, severe social rejection, and
ongoing stress (Najavits, 2019). Poole, et al., (2017) explain that “trauma has been described as

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having three aspects: exposure to harmful and/or overwhelming event(s) or circumstances, the
experience of these event(s) which will vary from individual to individual, and effects which
may be adverse and long-lasting in nature (p. 4). “The effects of trauma often endure for weeks,
months, years, even decades afterward. It is a living legacy” (Fisher, 2021, p.13). Trauma is
adverse life experiences that overpower one’s ability to cope and to adjust in a positive way to
any threat that comes their way (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
Nurturing and supportive relationships are crucial to healing and are a key component to
trauma informed practice (Goddard, 2021). The very nature of trauma informed practice
acknowledges that anyone seeking services and/or support may have experienced some form of
trauma throughout their life (Knight, 2019). Acknowledging this likelihood at the onset of
working with individuals, promotes an opportunity to form a working relationship grounded in
understanding the nature and impacts of trauma. Literature suggests that trauma informed
practice provides a relationship founded on respect, trust, compassion, genuineness, and
collaboration (Levenson, 2020). “When social workers provide emotional safety and acceptance
in the helping relationship, an atmosphere of trust can be established” (Levenson, 2020, p. 296).
When working with individuals who have experienced trauma, it is imperative not to
overemphasize their trauma stories, but rather, to acknowledge their strengths and resiliencies,
and their insurmountable abilities to overcome obstacles. It is important to understand that
individuals must be at a place to recognize their trauma and have a desire to work through the
pain. If the desire is not there, it truly begins with meeting individuals where they are and
honoring their healing journey (Strand & Sprang, 2018). To recognize one’s trauma does not
mean that one must revisit their trauma history.

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Trauma Informed Practice
When it comes to implementing trauma informed practice, research literature
recommends that helping professionals rethink the clinical approach to working with client
populations, which requires the support and understanding of the organization. “A culture of
trauma-informed care calls for organizational culture change” (Goddard, 2021, p. 152). Wellness
in the workplace that addresses vicarious trauma experiences of workers, is critical to the overall
implementation of trauma informed practice. The literature suggests that many helping
professionals are already in “survival mode” and have little energy to invest in learning and
implementing trauma informed practice (Henry et. al., 2011). Having passionate mentors who
consistently practice and implement trauma informed practice, are likely to have better outcomes
impacting frontline staff and their ability to be trauma-informed (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
“Organizational strategies, such as policy changes, adequate clinical supervision, and workrelated resources are critical aspects of advancing TIC [Trauma Informed Care] practice and
reducing secondary traumatic stress” (Collin-Vezina et. al., 2020, p. 256). Najavits (2019)
acknowledges that the journey of healing can be done in many ways, “many roads, one journey”
(p. 6). According to the research literature reviewed to date, the importance of establishing
trauma informed practice when working with parents, is long overdue. The literature walks
readers through a variety of ways in which child protection workers can implement trauma
informed practice when working with parents (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
Childhood Trauma and Parenting
In reviewing the literature on parenting, exploring intergenerational transmission of
trauma in relation to one’s capacity to achieve conscious parenting, is important to explore when
looking at establishing a parenting program that is trauma informed. Many parents who define

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themselves as trauma survivors, share that “I don’t want to be the same kind of mother as my
mother…I want to be the opposite” (Burke et. al., 2021, p. 8). The more unresolved and past
wounds a parent carries, the more they affect our present creating pain, which impacts our ability
to parent (Tsabary, 2023). Parenting often becomes a longing to fill an inner void, because of our
own childhood experiences (Tsabary, 2023, p. 27). “Parenting with Presence” will provide
individuals with the insights necessary to move forward in their healing journeys, with a better
understanding of the experiences that have impacted their parenting and how to move forward in
the most meaningful way. Children will be encouraged and embraced to step into their own
authenticity, with the understanding, love, and nurturance to foster their true essence.
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) was a topic of study that transpired in the 1990s,
and included experiences of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), neglect (physical, emotional),
exposure to gender based violence and/or substance misuse in the home, parental mental illness,
incarceration of member of the household, and separation or divorce (Reisz et. al., 2023, p.1).
Further studies since the late 1990’s have shown that there is a significant relationship between
ACEs scores and health challenges in adulthood. The higher the ACE score, the higher the
likelihood that an adult will face health challenges in adulthood. This can include incomplete
education, employment challenges, chronic illnesses, and/or depression, to name a few. Parents
who have undergone ACEs in their lives are often left with insecure attachment, and as a result,
have higher stress levels in adulthood and parenting (Reisz et. al., 2023). Adults with secure
attachment are better equipped to maneuver stressful parenting situations, specifically those in
which a child is in distress (Reisz et. al., 2023).
When a parent can acknowledge the impacts that ACEs has had on them and how this
shows up in parenting, this can help parents to move forward with their children from a place of

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understanding and self-compassion. If we have experienced distress during our own childhood,
literature suggests that as adults, this emotional charge can be re-ignited through experiences we
have with our own children (Iwi & Newman, 2011). “All of us have internalised much more of
our own parents’ influence than we are ever consciously aware of” (Iwi & Newman, 2011, p.78).
As parents, it is imperative that in our ability to show up as responsive and loving with our
children, that we explore our own childhood experiences that caused distress to look at steps that
we can take to avoid transferring these experiences onto our children (Iwi & Newman, 2011).
One of the most important things we can do as parents is to reflect on our own childhood
experiences to better understand—and avoid—the ways they may unconsciously influence how
we parent.
Parenting Approaches Explored
It is important to note that in conducting research on parenting programs, I have found
that there are hundreds of parenting approaches across the globe. As Brene Brown (2013) shares
in her book, Daring Greatly, there are hundreds of parenting approaches with no one-size fits all.
Parents must be offered a variety of options, with the ability to pull what will work best for them
in the parenting journey. For “Parenting with Presence” programming, I wanted to explore the
foundational parenting approaches in the hopes of sharing with parents what exists, from a
variety of sources and examples. In reviewing the literature, it became apparent that what may
work for one parent, may not work for another. It is critical for parents to understand that
regardless of their parenting approach, a child’s basic needs involve a secure sense of safety,
love, and belonging. It is my hope that “Parenting with Presence” will offer opportunities for
parents to explore a wide variety of parenting approaches, finding ways that may work best in
their journey forward. In Western society, the stance is that “as soon as we were able, we were

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expected to take care of ourselves” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.13). The pressure for parents to be
perfect, is prevalent throughout the literature on parenting.
Furthermore, “traditionally, the relationship between parent and child has been hierarchal
and linear: the parent issues rules and orders like a military general, and children either obey or
find themselves punished” (Tsabary, 2010, p. 223). Tsabary (2023) argues that “the focus of
parenting needs to be the parent, not the child. If the focus were supposed to be on the child,
parenting would be called “childing” (p. 13). “When your children can be seen for who they are
– separate from what society expects of them – you can rest assured that there is no greater gift
they could ever receive than being allowed to be their authentic selves” (Tsabary, 2023, p. xv).
Western society has created an illusion that to be a good parent, it means that you must raise the
perfect child (Tsabary, 2023). In viewing the journey of parenting by looking at the child as the
focal point, we are missing the essence of what it means to be a parent. We must ensure that as
parents, we are looking at ourselves and how we are contributing to the experience and
relationship between ourselves and our child(ren). “The dominant parenting narrative has really
messed us up” (Tsabary, 2023, p. 65). In deconstructing what we understand about parenting,
significantly influenced by how we were parented, we can begin to learn new ways of being and
showing up for ourselves and for our child(ren). Parenting programs that focus on resilience,
hope, and social connection provide participants with the ability to mitigate future risk of harm
within the context of the parent-child relationship (Gerlach, et. al., 2020, p. 1). “To heal, you
need to forgive that old part of yourself and treat it with compassion” (Tsabary, 2023, p. 141).
The power of hope and healing is a key concept within the literature on trauma informed
parenting.
Conscious Parenting

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Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a world-renowned clinical psychologist who has integrated
teachings of Eastern mindfulness with teachings of Western psychology within the scope of the
parenting field. Dr. Shefali Tsabary (2010) provides a transformative approach to parenting, by
suggesting that the journey of parenting has “the potential to be an especially regenerative
experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent
and child appreciate that each dance on a spiritual path that’s unique, holding hands yet alone”
(p. 61). Dr. Tsabary (2010) enlightens her readers by describing parenting as anything but
organized or orderly, with no easy answers or solutions, but as an opportunity to experience
everything as a learning moment. The journey of parenting has the capacity to be a regenerative
experience for both child and parent, while “embracing the as is of parenting” (Tsabary, 2010, p.
63). Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s conscious parenting work will be utilized as inspiration in the research
for creating a trauma informed parenting program for the Phoenix Transition Society.
Tsabary (2010) indicates that “inner stillness manifests as presence, and presence is the
core characteristic of the awakened, receptive, accepting spirit of a conscious parent” (p. 150).
As parents, the reconnection to ourselves is paramount to the process of connecting to our
children and establishing a transformative relationship. “The relationship between parent and
child is paramount, not specific techniques” (Tsabary, 2010, p. 224). Research literature on
trauma informed practice, in relation to the healing journey and conscious parenting, suggests
that “the first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author
and arbiter of her own recovery” (Herman, 2022, p. 191). This compliments the recognition of
Dr. Shefali Tsabary (2010) approach to parenting in that “only to the degree we live in a state of
being are we able to approach circumstances in our life with openness and surrender” (p. 73).

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The loving relationship between parent and child begins with a parent’s loving
relationship and nurturing of oneself. Techniques involve the ability to be present with your
child, our ability to be open-minded, to separate our ego to enhance our consciousness, to see
moments as teaching and learning, modelling through experiences, being comfortable in
stillness, and accepting life as is (Tsabary, 2010). The notion that “loving relationships can be
one of the most powerful methods of change…caring relationships are especially important in
recovery from trauma” (Najavits, 2019, p. 37). Acknowledging that children yearn to have a
meaningful connection to their parents, no matter what their age, is paramount to the process of
present parenting. “Inner stillness manifests as presence, and presence is the core characteristic
of the awakened, receptive, accepting spirit of a conscious parent” (Tsabary, 2010, p. 150). In
understanding the core reasons for why we struggle, we become conscious (Tsabary, 2023).
Therefore, conscious parenting is a deeply transformational journey.
In Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book, “The Parenting Map”, it breaks down the map of
parenting into 20 easy to follow steps, using narratives, thought provoking questions, and the
ongoing encouragement of self reflection strategies, to name a few. “This book requires the
reader to be brave, daring, and truth-seeking” (Tsabary, 2023, p. xiii). I appreciate Dr. Tsabary’s
insights into the readiness of individuals to undergo the concept of her work and recognize that
women residing within a transition house setting will often have this readiness, as they take their
own initiative in seeking services, and they have a powerful desire to change. Within the context
of the parenting map, there will be components that will need to be lightened, with respect to
looking at an individual’s trauma. As I review “The Parenting Map” in its entirety, it may be
appropriate that there will be levels to a person’s learning, based on where they are at in their
healing. “The Parenting Map”, will be one of many other resources used as a point of reference

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respecting the literature on parenting. This will be explored and covered within the structuring of
the “Parenting with Presence” program itself. When we can focus on being present with our
children, “we focus on a state of aliveness and connection to the present moment” (Tsabary,
2023, p. 49), releasing parents from larger pressures. Conscious parenting creates “understanding
why your ego has been in place and why it acts the way it does” (Tsabary, 2023, p. 96).
Attachment Theory
The Circle of Security is a parenting program that is recognized worldwide and is
founded on cultivating secure attachment in the parent-child relationship. The program began as
a 20-week program and has evolved over the years to provide individual counselling and a
variety of uses throughout education and social service systems (Hoffman, et al., 2017).
“Attachment refers to how we as mammals rely on our caregivers for nurturance as we grow
toward maturity” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.x). Hoffman, et al. (2017) offer a map to secure
attachment in a practical way, offering research-based learning, which took the developers over a
thirty-year endeavour. The founders of attachment theory, John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth are
at the foundation of Circle of Security parenting approach (Hoffman, et al., 2017). Much like Dr.
Tsabary’s work in “The Conscious Parent” and “The Parenting Map”, Hoffman, et al. (2017)
discuss the importance of presence in parenting; being with your child “means creating a shared
emotional experience through which your child learns that all humans have key feelings in
common” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.7). Early attachment is the outcome of hundreds of physical
and emotional experiences (Fisher, 2021). How we learned and adapted to our relational
environment in our childhoods become memories that impact how we show up in our
relationships as adults (Fisher, 2021). The impacts of experiences of attachment, whether

18

positively or negatively felt, become a part of who we are and how we show up in the world,
beyond what any words could ever say.
Child Development
The relationship between a parent and child is the key ingredient when it comes to child
development (Delahooke, 2022, p.7). “An essential part of child-centred parenting is being able
to adapt to our children’s changing needs and capabilities as they grow” (Iwi & Newman, 2011,
p.83). The ability to regulate a child’s body through relationships that are loving, safe and
attuned, are a critical aspect of child development, and what is referred to as brain-body
parenting (Delahooke, 2022, p.5). “When we recognize that a child’s brain doesn’t operate in
isolation from the child’s body, a new array of parenting options emerges. Understanding the
brain-body connection that underlies all behavior gives us a new road map to guide our parenting
decisions” (Delahooke, 2022, p.8). When parents can understand the brain-body connection, this
provides an opportunity to understand a child’s behaviours which can ultimately lead to
“nurturing joyful and resilient kids” (Delahooke, 2022, p.7).
Dr. Stephen Porges Polyvagal theory, “first introduced in 1994, offered an elegant
explanation from human evolution for how and why humans react to life’s various
circumstances” (Delahooke, 2022, p.6). “Dr. Porges’s work provided a neuroscience theory base
that brought the body and brain together into a fuller understanding of children’s behaviours”
(Delahooke, 2022, p.7). “Regulation in a child’s physical body supports healthy relationships and
loving interactions, in turn building the infrastructure that eventually enables the child to use
reasoning, concepts, and thinking to flexibly manage life’s challenges” (Delahooke, 2022, p.7).
By focusing on the relationship between the brain and the body, parenting becomes more about a
parent and their child, and less about a specific theory or parenting approach. The more that a

19

parent can be attuned with themselves and their child, the more harmonious the relationship and
experience will be. In today’s modern world, parents are often bombarded with more parenting
perspectives from friends to school specialists, to social media influencers, Ted Talks, or Google
searches, yet what often remains overlooked is the importance of the relationship a parent has
with themselves and for their children (Delahooke, 2022).
Learning Experiences from the Practicum
Over the past few months, I have spent time researching parenting group programming
that is offered locally and within transition houses across the province of British Columbia. What
I have learned is that although there are some transition houses who have obtained training on
parenting programs such as Circle of Security, many transition houses do not provide in house
parenting programs to date. It is the hopes of the BCSTH that the PEACE program will begin to
work more closely with mothers, providing education and raising awareness within group
settings (personal communication, Amy S. FitzGerald, February 24, 2025) The PEACE Program:
utilizes “a strength-based approach includes seeing, acting, and believing that mothers and their
children have strengths, resources, and the ability to recovery from adversity” (BC Society of
Transition Houses, 2022). A strengths-based approach offers non-shaming, destigmatising
language in assisting mothers who have been directly impacted by intimate partner violence (BC
Society of Transition Houses, 2022). It is my intention over time to collaborate with the PEACE
counsellor for the Phoenix Transition Society in establishing program topics that elaborate on
parenting approaches for “Parenting with Presence”.
I spent time meeting with Circle of Security program facilitator, Lynne Browne, who has
been providing parenting groups in the community of Prince George, BC for many years. The
opportunity to meet with Lynne Browne, gave me a wholesome opportunity to understand her

20

current parenting programming and how I could establish a foundational curriculum for
“Parenting with Presence”. On April 7, 2025, I met with local Circle of Security Facilitator,
Lynne Browne, to discuss her direct experiences in providing parenting groups in the community
of Prince George, British Columbia. Lynne Browne shared that she has an extensive background
with parenting groups with over forty years as an Early Childhood Educator. Lynne Browne is
currently contracted through Intersect as a Parenting Program Facilitator for Circle of Security
and Parenting through Strong Emotions. Prior to Lynne Browne’s contract with Intersect, she
spent many years with the Aboriginal Infant Development Program in Prince George, BC.
Lynne Browne has had opportunities over the years to travel around the globe, providing
training as a parenting program facilitator. Lynne Browne is trained to teach Roots of Empathy, a
pregnancy prevention program that offers emotional literacy. Roots of Empathy is offered within
a classroom setting at an elementary school level. Lynne Browne shared resources from the
Circle of Security website, including the visual graphic circle of security following a traumatic
event circle (https://www.circleofsecurityinternational.com/blogs/resources/the-circle-ofsecurity-following-a-traumatic-event). Lynne Browne shared her reflections on how to support
safety and foster connection within a parenting group setting. She talked about the importance of
offering on site childminding for parents to support their capacity to be present for the group
sessions. Lynne Browne shared the importance of running the groups in the evening, to allow
working parents the ability to attend and participate as consistently as possible. Lynne Brown
showed me the space where the parenting groups are held, offering a living room atmosphere
with couches and side tables. Lynne Browne strives to “create a space that feels like being at
home” (personal communication, Lynne Browne, April 7, 2025).

21

Lynne Browne shared that group sessions should only run for about 1.5 hours, and they
should not extend beyond eight sessions. Lynne discussed the importance of creating space
outside of the groups for 1-1 parenting guidance and support. Lynne has recently established a
new process for parents on waitlists for her programs, offering 1-1 support. Lynne Browne
explained that this direct support is just as important as the support that is offered within the
group setting. Most often, parents “just need a safe space to talk about their parenting journey
without judgement and with compassion and care” (personal communication, Lynne Browne,
April 7, 2025). Lynne Browne reminded me that as facilitators, we must validate parents in that
“we are all just winging it” when it comes to parenting (personal communication, Lynne Browne,
April 7, 2025). Lynne Browne talked about the importance of validating parents when it is hard
and then offering guidance and tools of what to do with those hard moments or experiences.
Lynne Browne echoed the importance of a parent’s ability to look at their own healing as a
critical aspect of strengthening their capacity to parent and to offer their ability to be present in
moments that children need it the most.
In May of 2025, I have been invited to speak at a webinar for the BC Society of
Transition Houses, after joining a pilot project for childcare provisions within transition house
settings during my practicum at the Phoenix Transition Society, as a representative for the
organization. I spent some time over the course of my practicum meeting with Karen Underhill,
the Executive Director of the Phoenix Transition Society, to prepare for this opportunity and to
best understand the current and historic need for childcare within the Phoenix Transition House.
Karen Underhill felt that it would be important for me to learn about the need for childcare and
how it relates to offering a foundational programming for women who are residing at the
Phoenix Transition Society. This year, Karen Underhill has been employed at the Phoenix

22

Transition Society for 45 years. Karen Underhill began her work at the Phoenix Transition
Society as a summer student to help care for children. Karen Underhill explained that back then,
families were much larger, and it was not uncommon for mothers with 4-6 children to be staying
at the Phoenix Transition Society and that most often, they needed a helping hand (personal
communication, Karen Underhill, April 16, 2025). Karen Underhill shared the importance of
being in tune with situations involving mothers to offer support where needed and taking the
initiative to offer a helping hand rather than waiting on a mother to ask for help. Karen Underhill
discussed the importance of rewriting scripts for mothers and their children, particularly around
the holidays. For example, often Christmas would come with stressful or traumatic experiences
at home, and Phoenix Transition Society would be a space to offer a new and uplifting
experience for mothers and their children.
Karen Underhill shared the important role that Phoenix Transition Society has on the
lives of mothers and children, as staff are submersed in a woman’s life during her stay, 24 hours
a day, 7 days a week. The Phoenix Transition Society has “a profound opportunity to truly make
a meaningful difference, given the amount of time that is spent together in the same space”
(personal communication, Karen Underhill, April 16, 2025). Karen Underhill spoke about the
importance of weaving the topic of parenting throughout the day-to-day functioning of the house
and shared how imperative it will be to offer a foundational parenting program that ignites
opportunities to expand on conversations for a woman’s learning and growth on her healing
journey. Karen Underhill shared that in enhancing parenting programming, it will be important
for contractors to look at more funding support with the level of care that could be provided to
mothers and their children during their stay, while ensuring that staff have the experience to
provide enhanced care, with adequate pay in place (personal communication, Karen Underhill,

23

April 16, 2025). As Karen Underhill shared about the ongoing struggles for funders to
acknowledge the need for wage increases and to recognize women in the workforce and the hard
work that occurs within the scope of transition houses, I was reminded of how prevalent austerity
is in our world today. Stinson (2025) explains austerity as the ongoing impacts that economic
adjustments have on “women and other marginalized groups” (p.1). These impacts continue to
have consequences on staff recruitment and retention within the Phoenix Transition Society
overall. Karen Underhill hopes that one day, non-profit organizations will be recognized as
deserving of similar wages to those of government and private sector services.
Having the opportunity to undergo my practicum at the Phoenix Transition Society,
familiarizing myself with the agency’s culture and working alongside of the staff team, has
provided me with a clear vision for what “Parenting with Presence” programming will look like,
and how it will be delivered. “Parenting with Presence” will begin as an eight-week program,
with plenty of time spent pacing the conversation of parenting. The group will be offered to all
women who are residing at the Phoenix Transition Society, whether they identify as a parent or
someone who has experienced parenting in their own life. The Phoenix Transition Society
acknowledges that the parenting journey has shaped us all in some way, whether as parents
ourselves, or as children who were parented (personal communication, Karen Underhill, April
16, 2025). The group will begin by establishing safety, with the goal of building and maintaining
connection amongst the group participants. I envision the group to be held in a home
environment, with a comfortable, informal environment. There will be couches and floor pillows,
with water, coffee, tea and light snacks. It is my hopes that this group will create a space for
women to come together, to share in the journey of parenting. This will apply to those who have
parented, and those who have experienced parenting directly in their lives. Whether we are

24

currently parenting or not, it has become apparent in research that there is a significant
correlation between trauma and parenting. We all can be provided an opportunity to heal and to
grow, through the experience of “Parenting with Presence”. This group will be ever evolving, as
we learn and adapt, together.
Many of the applied concepts and theories of “Parenting with Presence” have been
discussed, and include trauma informed practice, conscious parenting, attachment theory, child
development, and components of expressive arts therapy providing space for personal reflection,
coping strategies, and opportunities to strengthen the gift of presence. Throughout the
“Parenting with Presence” program, women will be provided with a blank journal and art
supplies, that will be used to creatively express one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences as they
relate to parenting. Visual journalling offers an opportunity for creative expression can assist
individuals in gaining some control in their lives, providing a sense of value. It is not about the
finished product in Expressive Arts Therapy, more so the learning journey that EAT offers
throughout. Over time, mastery can be formed (Malchiodi, 2022). The importance of a creating a
sense of community healing “is based upon the empowerment of the survivor and the creation of
new connections...it can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in
isolation” (Herman, 2022, p.191). The group will not be spending time revisiting a person’s
trauma, but rather, focusing on the opportunity to apply new ways of approaching parenting,
through the lived experiences of group members and facilitators. Outside of the group setting,
there will be space for members to access 1-1 debriefing, and if needed, will be provided with
outside resources, such as counselling services or crisis support. Attached as Appendix C is an
outline of the “Parenting with Presence” curriculum. This document will continue to grow

25

throughout the process of experiencing the group. It will be an ever-evolving project, until it has
reached its own level of mastery.
It has become apparent over the past few months at the Phoenix Transition Society that
simply talking about parenting is critical in a mother’s journey. Having ongoing conversations
about parenting, informally and formally, should be embedded within practice at the Phoenix
Transition Society, to enhance knowledge and build capacity. Outside of the “Parenting with
Presence” group programming, staff will create spaces to continue the dialogue on parenting,
whether it is sitting together over tea, through crafting activities, cooking together, or during
moments where staff can be present for a mother’s child(ren), offering an extra hand or
emotional support. Creating spaces throughout the Phoenix Transition Society’s day-to-day
structure will inherently enhance the capacity to share and support a woman on her parenting
journey and through her lived experiences, many of which unfold while staying at the transition
house. Additionally, it will be important for Phoenix Transition Society to embrace opportunities
in the community to continue the dialogue on parenting programming through presentations and
public speaking opportunities.
Literature continues to validate that there is no such thing as a “perfect parent” or a
“perfect child”. Parenting is not about perfection, but a continual work in progress. There are
hundreds of theories on parenting, offering opportunities for parents to find one that they feel
connected to. Delahooke (2022) explains that “there is no one-size-fits-all approach to successful
child-rearing…What’s crucial isn’t understanding someone else’s guidelines but understanding
how our parenting is “landing” in our child” (p.3). As parents, it is important that we take time to
get to know who we are, and how we want to show up for our children. Hoffman, et al. (2017)
explains that “it isn’t what happened to us in our childhood by itself that is the crucial factor in

26

predicting how our children will become attached to us, but rather the way we’ve made sense of
how our childhood experiences have influenced us” (p.x). In my own parenting journey, this has
been critical in the process of connecting to parenting theories that make best sense for myself
and my daughter. The more time that I intentionally spend on myself and my healing journey, the
better equipped I am to be present for my daughter.
I have come to learn that modelling and supporting the parenting journey is a collective
responsibility within the Phoenix Transition Society, regardless of a person’s job title. The
Phoenix Transition Society acknowledges that parenting is the hardest job in the world, and that
there is no training to prepare us for the journey. The more that we as helpers can model our own
self compassion and understanding through the journey of parenting, the better equip we are to
support and guide mothers through their journeys, too (personal communication, Karen
Underhill, April 16, 2025). The Phoenix Transition Society strives to empower and uplift women
within the organization, including staff and women served. This is modeled through compassion,
care, and non-judgement. The importance of self care for staff, has an everlasting impact on the
women and children served within the organization. It is imperative to show others that we can
reset our mindset at any time, and the more we can practice this in our day to day, the more it can
be embraced within the journey and with the support of those around us.
Implications for Professional Practice
In reflecting upon my learning with respect to future social work practice, I recognize the
importance of modelling self care as a helping professional, foundationally self care is at the
foundation of everything we do. Our own self care transfers outward onto others, our children,
our families, our coworkers, and for everyone we help along the way. How we role show up for
ourselves, our team and organization is critical. Modelling this self care through the way we

27

carry ourselves (our non-verbal’s, our baseline), impacts those around us. From my perspective,
when we can actively engage and participate in the process of self care, we are better equipped to
show up authentically in this work. When we show up authentically in this work, we can
cultivate genuine, authentic spaces that create a sense of safety for people we are working with.
In reviewing the extensive literature on trauma and trauma informed practices and reflecting on
my current practice, it is important to note that creating safety and connection as paramount to
working with individuals in the helping field. One important way that this can be done is through
the essence of lending a helping hand to a mother, offering support in times of struggle, and
practicing the gift of presence within moments where a mother may need it the most. Often, this
can be modelled by inviting oneself in by interacting with the mother’s child(ren), getting down
at their level, using play and expression to engage. This has been modeled throughout my
practicum experience at the Phoenix Transition Society, and a mother’s receptivity has been high.
It is an important reminder that a mother may have many feelings associated with asking for
help. The more a helper can be attuned to a mother and her child(ren), the better able a helper
will be to offer support in moments it is needed the most.
Creating informal and formal spaces to talk about parenting, offers opportunities to work
through the impacts of trauma, without the need to revisit trauma histories. This can be done by
holding space for conversations about a mother’s early childhood experiences as an opportunity
to offer hope and light, by embracing the true essence of parenting and the shared experience of
overcoming adversity and becoming a parent should be shared often. Validating and celebrating a
mother’s successes and strengths that she brings to her role as a parent will continue to provide
opportunities to uplift and regenerate one’s experience with parenting. More importantly, is
creating opportunities for mothers to express themselves in the unspoken, through creative

28

outlets, such as knitting, journalling, beading, coloring, cooking, creating. There is so much to be
experienced in the unspoken, a critical outlet for healing and growth (Malchiodi, 2020).
Further Areas of Research
I recently examined research that expands on trauma informed practice and looks at the
shame associated with an individual’s past trauma in relation to their healing journey. Dolezal
and Gibson (2022) argue that “the trauma-informed approach fails to adequately theorise and
address shame, and that many of the aims of the trauma-informed are more effectively addressed
through the concept and practice of shame-sensitivity” (p. 1). Although the literature appears
limited regarding parenting and experiences of shame, I want to continue to explore this when
looking at delivering “Parenting with Presence”. Over the years, it has become apparent that
shame in and of itself can create a barrier for individuals needing to engage in services,
particularly mandated services. My hopes are that “Parenting with Presence” will offer
individuals opportunities to reflect on shame as it pertains to parenting, and how to move beyond
this experience. Brene Brown (2012) speaks extensively about shame and describes the
experience as “the fear of disconnection – it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do,
an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of
connection” (p.68). Shame is acknowledged to be a collective human experience, and that it
occurs regardless of whether something traumatic has occurred or not.
Within my practicum setting at the Phoenix Transition Society, mandatory programs
requiring self referral and commitment at the onset of a woman’s intake to the transition house,
are provided. It will be critical that I explore any barriers that individuals may face when
accessing the “Parenting with Presence” program, from a non-shaming place. I am hopeful that
my research will include studies that respect and provide a non-shaming practice as I learn more

29

about this topic along the way. From a non-shaming perspective, shame is seen as inevitable,
particularly vulnerable people who have experienced trauma throughout their lives (Dolezal &
Gibson, 2022). Acknowledging this when walking alongside of a person in their journey forward
holds significance. In relation to shame and parenting, it is important to recognize that,
“parenting is one of the most difficult endeavors a person ever takes on…” (Tsabary, 2010, p.
118). Individuals may silently walk with shame and carry it in their parenting journey (Dolezal &
Gibson, 2022).
Future areas of research on the topic of parenting in relation to culture and diversity as it
pertains to conscious parenting programming, will need to be explored and exhausted. It is my
hope that my final project will provide opportunities for further research with respect to
culturally specific parenting programs within transition house settings with diverse client
populations. The two-eyed seeing approach would be a powerful opportunity in offering
culturally appropriate parenting programs that assist in deconstructing current Western ideologies
with respect to the parenting journey. As Rankin, et al. (2023) describe, “two-eyed seeing
provides a framework whereby conscious and deliberate conversations and research approaches
are determined prior to and throughout the research process by the research team to guide a
balance of each knowledge” (p.1). It is my intention to establish a framework for parenting
programs within transition house settings, as a starting point. My hope is that the “Parenting
with Presence” program as a foundation, will evolve and adapt to meet the needs of diverse
populations for future service delivery through research.
Literature suggests that future research with respect to ACEs and parenting stress through
interventions should be explored. Future research should be conducted with respect to a parents’
history of ACEs and protective factors that could minimize further harm (Gerlach, et al., 2020, p.

30

1). It will be imperative to exhaust the practical implications of reducing the risk of
retraumatizing individuals when engaging in parenting groups. “Studies need to explore the
various aspects of parenting that may contribute to positive outcomes…the role of selfcompassion and attachment styles as well as parents’ emotional expression and emotional
processing” (Cowling & Gordon, 2021, p.64). Utilizing observational methods may provide
measures that are more objective of the behavioral patterns and interactions that occur between
parents and their children.
Conclusion
Throughout my practicum experience with the Phoenix Transition Society, I have come
to learn that the Phoenix Transition Society’s hopes and dreams for the evolution of parenting
programming and the importance of weaving parenting throughout its foundation, will have the
capacity to create a strong foundation of support that is both child and parent centered. The
Phoenix Transition Society recognizes the interconnection of trauma and parenting, and the need
to build upon the relationship and bond that a mother has with her children, often seen as her sole
purpose in life. I believe that parenting is an experience that is still very overlooked and
undervalued in society and acknowledge that it truly is one of the hardest jobs in the world. One
in which there is no training or preparation for, one that often is faced with judgement, shame,
and a lack of compassion and understanding. One that I hope we can model throughout our lives
to continue to do better, for ourselves, and for the world around us. An opportunity to offer
healing collectively, something the world needs now, more than ever before. It is my hope that
my practicum project will provide a foundational parenting program that is trauma informed, that
will be offered as part of the Phoenix Transition Society’s ongoing in-house programming. My
research is intended to establish an awareness to building a strong foundation that provides a

31

transformative parent-child relationship. Over time, my hope is that the parenting program will
impact generations yet to come.
It is my hope to one day obtain my Ph.D., and to incorporate my continued personal and
professional endeavors and research opportunities into thought provoking, practical materials for
students undergoing their social work degree, with the goal of enhancing practitioners’
knowledge and skills, from a trauma informed, humanistic approach to practice. It is my hope
that the topic of parenting becomes more of a natural, ever-evolving dialogue amongst parents
and their support teams, with the intent of re-creating space that promotes empowering parents to
enhance their knowledge and skills, through a natural process of letting go and relearning in
invigorating ways. I hope that my research and final project for the Phoenix Transition Society
will have the capacity to create an everlasting impact that promotes and instills positive change
in the lives of individuals on the journey of parenthood. After all, research allows the opportunity
not only to learn about, but to create social change.
I could not be more humbled by the opportunity within the context of social work, to be a
part of such a beautiful journey forward, and all that it has entailed, every step of the way! I
dedicate this chapter of my life, to my daughter, Miss A. My greatest gift of all. She has been the
beacon of light who has provided me with an opportunity to look deep within myself and
undergo my own transformative journey in incredibly profound ways. I am grateful every day for
the gift she has provided me, in raising my own presence and consciousness, not only as a
mother, but as the woman and emerging leader I am today. The greatest gift we can give
ourselves, is the openness to heal, to learn, unlearn, stretch beyond our current state, and
continue to evolve and grow. In closing, I wish to share a piece of writing that I wrote for my

32

daughter, throughout my practicum experience. I will continue to share this as a program
facilitator for “Parenting with Presence” in my journey forward.
Dear Daughter
By: Kyla-Rae Laferdy
When I look at you, I am reminded of how much bringing a human being into the world has shaped
me.
When I look at you, I am in awe of everything you are teaching me well beyond what I ever knew
before you.
When I look at you, I see the incredible gift you have offered to a life I never thought would be
possible.
When I look at you, I am grateful; for being your mom has been the absolute
highlight of my life.
When I look at you, I feel joy, inspiration, and hope. A peaceful validation that this life is
worth living and fighting for.
When I look at you, I am immensely proud of you, for all that you are, and all that you are making of
me.
Every time I look at you, I see the miracle that you are.
Oh, when I look at you . . .

33

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Rides At The Door, M., & Trautman, A. (2019). Considerations for implementing culturally
grounded trauma-informed child welfare services: Recommendations for working with
American Indian/Alaska native populations. Journal of Public Child Welfare, 13(3), 368378. https://doi.org/10.1080/15548732.2019.1605014
Strand, V. C., & Sprang, G. (2018). Trauma responsive child welfare systems. Springer.
Supporting mothers in the PEACE program – BC society of transition houses. (2022). BC
Society of Transition Houses. Retrieved from https://bcsth.ca/supporting-mothers-in-thepeace-program
Tsabary, S. (2010). The conscious parent. Namaste Publishing Inc.
Tsabary, S. (2023). The parenting map: Step-by-step solutions to consciously create the ultimate
parent-child relationship. HarperCollins.
Winfrey, O., & Perry, B. D. (2021). What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience,
and healing. Flatiron Books.

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Appendix A: Learning Contract

MSW Practicum Field Education Contract
Agency Name: Phoenix Transition Society
Program: Transition House for women and children
Address: 1770 11th Avenue, Prince George, BC V2L 3S8
Phone: 250-563-7305

Fax: 250-563-2792

Agency Supervisor: Karen Underhill

Educational Degrees: Business

Administration, Accountant and Finance, and 45 years with the Phoenix Transition Society
Phone: 250-563-7305
Student Mentor: Sondra Struke
Phone: 778-349-0493

Email: karen.phoenix@shaw.ca
Educational Degrees: MSW
Email: sondrastruke@outlook.com

Student’s Name: Kyla-Rae Laferdy
Phone: 672-983-9855

Email: laferdyk@unbc.ca

Faculty Field Instructor: Dr. Tammy Pearson
Phone: 250-960-5110

Email: Tammy.Pearson@unbc.ca

A. Administrative Arrangements
Practicum Start Date: January 6, 2025 – April 26, 2025
Weekdays and Hours of practicum: Sat (10 hours), Mon (8 hours), Tues (8 hours)
Spring Study Break: Student will continue full time practicum hours from March 2429 (working through Reading Break).
Supervision Schedule: Bi-weekly with supervisor and mentor, on alternating weeks
Office Space: Located at the Phoenix Transition Society
Administrative Support: Provided by the Phoenix Transition Society
Transportation: Personal Vehicle
B. 1. Define below the Knowledge and Skills to be developed.
a. Follow by a list of Tasks and Responsibilities to achieve the above.

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1. Knowledge of Agency Structure and Theoretical Framework
a. I will become acquainted with the agency mandate, policy, and process for
services provision.
b. I will review the agency vision and mission statement, and core values.
c. I will familiarize with the theoretical framework as it applies to the proposed
research project.
d. I will research current and historic parenting programming that has been
offered at the Phoenix Transition Society.
e. Review academic literature on the functioning and establishment of groups
and facilitation, with an emphasis on feminist/generalist/trauma informed
approaches.
2. Engage in Ongoing Research Pertaining to Practicum Proposal/Final Project
a. Research best practices of parenting from a trauma informed perspective.
b. Research parenting programs currently offered in the community of Prince
George, BC (WRAP Around Guidance and Support, Strengthening Families)
c. Will study and create, with the support of academic literature, a program that
is designed to empower and motivate individuals to be their own loving
parent.
d. Academic literature review that clearly outlines themes and sub-themes to
support my practicum project, including, but not limited to:
i. ACEs (Childhood Adversity)
ii. Intergenerational trauma
iii. Attachment theory
iv. Parental pressures (societal norms)
v. Parenting interventions (breaking the cycle of intergenerational
trauma; positive parenting approaches)
vi. Acknowledgement of the child’s perspective (it is called parenting for
a reason, otherwise, we would call it “childing”).
e. Study parallels and intersectionality as it pertains to parenting and the healing
journey (be able to demonstrate how the healing journey impacts one’s ability

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to show up in parenting). Furthermore, how parenting with presence can be
offered to women within the Society that may not be parents, as it will tap into
individual healing overall.
f. Research program tools that offer individuals the power to acclaim what was
lost, to transform current parenting for our current and future generations.
3. Engage in Critical Thinking and Self-Reflective Practices
a. Reflect on my strengths and limitations for discussion with my supervisor and
mentor during bi-weekly/as needed, supervision meetings
b. Discuss my strengths and limitations with my supervisor and academic
supervisor in preparation for the Mid-term evaluation, including a plan where
appropriate
c. Submit 2 or 3 reports to the agency-supervisor for feedback
d. Will undergo and complete the creative journalling process as part of the
learning and guidance process in establishing ‘Parenting with Presence’
programming for the Society.
e. As part of supervision, regularly review practicum placement experience and
articulate the learning across the placement, including strengths, skills
developed, areas of interest, continued development, and prepare to facilitate
the final evaluation and final project.
4. Professional Values and Integrity of the Social Work Profession
a. I will maintain my integrity for the social work profession, upholding and
referencing the BCASW and CASW Code of Ethics throughout the duration
of my practicum experience.
b. I will reflect on any ethical dilemmas and/or value related issues throughout
my practicum and will discuss this with my agency supervisor and/or mentor.
c. I will enhance my understanding of professional social work practice.
d. I will connect with other Social Workers and helping professionals to enhance
my understanding of the role and functions of Social Work at the micro,
mezzo and macro level.

40

e. I will initiate discussions with my agency supervisor, mentor, and coworkers
about cultural sensitivity practice in supporting individuals served at the
Phoenix, acknowledging a diverse client population that serves women from
all walks of life.
f. I will review information on current barriers impacting individuals access to
support services that enhance their overall wellbeing and capacity to heal.
g. I will reflect on my strengths and limitations and will discuss these during
supervision and will establish a plan if necessary.
h. I will reflect on my personal values, beliefs, biases and culture and will
identify differences with co-workers, my supervisor, and mentor.
i. I will discuss the cultural differences specific to the agency during field
supervision.
Learning Contract approved and originally signed on February 12, 2025

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Appendix B: Practicum Proposal
Practicum Proposal: A Trauma Informed Parenting Program, “Parenting with Presence”

Kyla-Rae Laferdy
School of Social Work, University of Northern British Columbia
Proposed Practicum Project
Practicum Supervisor: Dr. Tammy Pearson
Committee Members: Dr. Si Transken and Karen Underhill
December 29, 2024

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Practicum Proposal: A Trauma Informed Parenting Program, “Parenting with Presence”
In May of 2023, I formally resigned from the Ministry of Children and Family
Development (MCFD) in Prince George, British Columbia, after working 12 years in the area of
child welfare. I practiced as a frontline child protection social worker for eight years on various
family service teams followed by four years as a team leader where I provided child welfare
consultation. In total, I spent approximately 25,000 hours in the area of child welfare. Ever since
adolescence, it had been my dream to practice in child protection, with the hope and desire to
show up for people, in a way that created meaningful growth and change. At the young age of
fifteen, the doors of child protection denied me services, because I did not feel comfortable to
share or disclose my lived experiences. The way that services were delivered to me that day, I
will never forget. The social worker that met with me spent no time building rapport. The
process felt rushed and emotionless. I had never sought help from support outside of my
immediate family and did not feel comfortable with a stranger asking me if I had ever been
abused, without asking anything about me other than my name and date of birth. I was not
provided with an opportunity to learn what being abused meant, or if my circumstances would fit
within their mandate for services. There was no sense of assurance that my situation would
provide an opportunity for safety. I left the office without finishing the intake process, and
although I did not know it at that time, I would spend the latter part of my life striving to show
up for people in ways that I had hoped people would have shown up for me.
I remember feeling afraid that I would not fit into the check boxes she was working
through, to receive any support that I felt I needed at that time. That moment shaped the
trajectory of the next twenty years of my life, in significant ways. I have carried that experience
passionately throughout my time as a social work practitioner. It continues to show up, in my

43

personal and professional life. It remains a core value in who I am and how I practice as a social
worker. A person-centered, trauma informed approach remains at the core of who I am and how I
walk with others. It is my perspective that taking the time to slow down processes and allow a
person to tell their story, is critical within the scope of practicing social work generally. Rides at
the Door and Trautman (2019) say it best, in that “systems that interact with vulnerable
populations have an obligation to be trauma informed . . . organizations that provide services to
individuals who have experienced trauma must attend to the unique ways in which these
experiences impact well-being” (p. 368). It is my obligation to participate as an agent for social
change, that in essence, captures what it means to truly be, trauma informed.
During my time in the field of child welfare, it had become prevalent that there were
barriers to implementing trauma informed practice and programming when serving children and
families. It is my hope that conducting research on this topic, will provide meaningful insight
into the development of a parenting program that can be provided to individuals to enhance their
capacity and reduce the potential for ongoing and/or future child welfare involvement. During
my professional practice, it became evident that parents and professionals alike were seeking
guidance when it came to parenting. In my own parenting journey, I too, can relate to wanting
such knowledge. As a parent who has overcome extensive childhood adversities, with a passion
to parent in the ways I was not privy to, I set forth on a quest to evolve in my own parenting
journey. I do not know how many times individuals would say, “I wish there were a manual for
parenting!” Last year, I stumbled upon Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book, “The Parenting Map”
(2023). It became evident very quickly, that this book provided an opportunity to map out a
guide to parenting using step by step solutions to consciously create the ultimate parent-child
relationship.

44

Upon further reading, I began to delve deeper into Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s earlier work,
“The Conscious Parent” (2010). This book captures “the emotional and spiritual lessons
inherent in the parenting process, so that we can use them for our own development, which in
turn will result in the ability to parent more effectively” (Tsabary, 2010, p. xv). Drawing
inspiration from these two books, the resilience and strength of individuals who courageously
work to improve themselves, and my own personal and professional experiences, I am starting
this journey to develop a foundational parenting program. This program will be accessible to
individuals who may not otherwise have the opportunity to access such resources. This program
will provide the tools to work on their healing with the capacity to apply them to their everyday
life. Offering a parenting program that is founded in conscious parenting within the context of a
transition house setting that is a non-profit organization, could not be a more meaningful space to
start. Providing opportunities to learn about parenting and enhancing one’s skills to parent, while
mitigating any child safety concerns, will be imperative in the ongoing service delivery within
the Phoenix Transition Society. I am hopeful that this program will lay the foundation for all
other programming within Society. This is a program topic that is far too often undervalued and
overlooked and imperative to individual and collective healing.
I have chosen to focus my topic on developing a trauma informed parenting program that
is founded in the power of presence, acknowledging the need to focus on how to communicate
parenting knowledge to individuals who are motivated to learn new strategies to effectively
parent their children. It is my intention to utilize this research as my foundation in my future
Ph.D. endeavour, branching out into other areas of trauma informed practice within the context
of parenting, mentorship, and leadership. It is my dream to one day teach trauma informed social
work practice, as a professor. In my professional experiences, I recognized the importance of

45

how social work practitioners ought to walk alongside parents, that directly impacts the
outcomes for children, youth and families. Research remains limited on the topic of trauma
informed parenting, however, current research I have conducted thus far, suggests that it has the
potential to be impactful and truly, revolutionary. I will conduct research related to the best
practices of trauma informed, present parenting, not only from a Western perspective, but from
around the globe. I want to examine and recognize the strength and courage that is required to
look within and gain the awareness of how individuals show up as human beings, and more
specifically, in parenting roles. It is an honor to offer this opportunity to women who ever so
bravely access the Phoenix Transition House to embark on their healing journeys, of mind, body,
and spirit. It is my hopes that this parenting program will establish a solid footing for any woman
who is embracing her healing journey, as a powerful starting place.
“It is hard to imagine the scope of an individual life without envisioning some kind of
trauma, and it is hard for most people to know what to do about it” (Epstein, 2013, p. 17).
Theoretical Orientation
My research and final practicum project will be founded in attachment theory, systems
theory, and interpersonal theory, as it pertains to current modalities used at the Phoenix
Transition Society. With respect to attachment theory and its framework, “research evidence
shows that children who have a secure attachment with at least one adult do better” (Hoffman, et
al., 2017, p.2). The power of presence becomes significant in the parent-child relationship and
the capacity to build and maintain a secure attachment (Tsabary, 2010). Systems theory is based
“on the inter-relationships and interdependence among people and between people and events”
(James, 2008, p.12). When looking at parenting from a trauma informed perspective, it is
imperative to look at how systems and society respond to individuals and their experiences.

46

Interpersonal theory focuses on “enhancing personal self-esteem: openness, trust, sharing, safety,
unconditional positive regard, accurate empathy, and genuineness” (James, 2008, p.12). The
overall goal of interpersonal theory is to return personal power to the individual through selfevaluative processes (James, 2008).
Furthermore, as I bring my own experiences of parenting from an evolving and
developing conscious place, I will be using auto-ethnography to draw on my own personal lived
experiences within the written material, where deemed relevant and appropriate to do so. I will
be utilizing the works of Denzin throughout my autoethnography, maintaining the overarching
message that “writing creates the worlds we inhabit” (Denzin, 2003, p. xii). It is my hope to
create a sense of emotional truth for both me and the readers, producing experiences of selfrenewal and self-discovery (Denzin, 2002). My intention is to create an everlasting impact on
those who are invested in practicing parenting from a place of presence. Furthermore, I will be
establishing my own creative journal as I walk through this practicum project, as an outlet for not
only my own self reflection, but to be able to share as a resource for individuals accessing the
“Parenting with Presence” program that I will be creating.
Literature Review
Defining and Understanding Trauma
Najavits (2019) describes that “trauma comes from the Greek word for wound, which
vividly describes what it feels like. It’s a serious, unwanted, harmful event that can lead to
lasting pain” (p.2). Wounds can be emotional, physical, or both, with most people experiencing a
minimum of one wound in their lifetime, and for others, there have been many (Najavits, 2019,
p.2). Trauma can involve a breadth of physical events, such as car accidents, sexual assault,

47

physical violence, fires, life threatening illness or injury, natural disasters, unexpected death of a
loved one, and domestic violence (Najavits, 2019, p.2). Trauma can also involve non-physical
events, such as emotional abuse, bullying, neglect, homelessness, abandonment, major loss,
growing up with mentally ill parents, severe social rejection, and ongoing stress (Najavits, 2019,
p.2). Poole, et al., (2017) explain that “trauma has been described as having three aspects:
exposure to harmful and/or overwhelming event(s) or circumstances, the experience of these
event(s) which will vary from individual to individual, and effects which may be adverse and
long-lasting in nature (p. 4). Trauma can be described as adverse life experiences that overpower
one’s ability to cope and to adjust in a positive way to any threat that comes their way (Strand &
Sprang, 2018). Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is often used in literature pertaining to
trauma informed practice, and refers to “the abuse, neglect, and traumatic experiences in
childhood that directly affect long-term adolescent and adult health” (Goddard, 2021, p. 145).
The ACEs will be thoroughly examined in the creation of the “Parenting with Presence”
program.
Nurturing and supportive relationships are crucial to healing and are a key component to
trauma informed practice (Goddard, 2021). The very nature of trauma informed practice
acknowledges that anyone seeking services and/or support may have experienced some form of
trauma throughout their life (Knight, 2019). Acknowledging this at the onset, promotes an
opportunity to form a working relationship grounded in understanding the nature and impacts of
trauma. Literature suggests that trauma informed practice provides a relationship founded on
respect, trust, compassion, genuineness, and collaboration (Levenson, 2020). “When social
workers provide emotional safety and acceptance in the helping relationship, an atmosphere of
trust can be established” (Levenson, 2020, p. 296). When working with individuals who have

48

experienced trauma, it is imperative not to overemphasize their trauma stories, but rather, to
acknowledge their strengths and resiliencies, and their insurmountable abilities to overcome
obstacles. It is important to understand that individuals must be at a place to recognize their
trauma and have a desire to work through the pain. If the desire is not there, it truly begins with
meeting individuals where they are and honoring their healing journey (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
Trauma Informed Practice
When it comes to implementing trauma informed practice, research literature
recommends that helping professionals rethink the clinical approach to working with client
populations, which requires the support and understanding of the organization. “A culture of
trauma-informed care calls for organizational culture change” (Goddard, 2021, p. 152). Wellness
in the workplace that addresses vicarious trauma experiences of workers, is critical to the overall
implementation of trauma informed practice. The literature suggests that many helping
professionals are already in “survival mode” and have little energy to invest in learning and
implementing trauma informed practice (Henry et. al., 2011). Having passionate leaders who
consistently practice and implement trauma informed practice, are likely to have better outcomes
impacting frontline staff and their ability to be trauma-informed (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
“Organizational strategies, such as policy changes, adequate clinical supervision, and workrelated resources are critical aspects of advancing TIC [Trauma Informed Care] practice and
reducing secondary traumatic stress” (Collin-Vezina et. al., 2020, p. 256). Najavits (2019)
acknowledges that the journey of healing can be done in many ways, “many roads, one journey”
(p. 6). According to the research literature reviewed to date, the importance of establishing
trauma informed practice when working with parents, is long overdue. The literature walks

49

readers through a variety of ways in which child protection workers can implement trauma
informed practice when working with parents (Strand & Sprang, 2018).
In my final literature review, I will be exploring intergenerational transmission of trauma
and attachment theory, in relation to one’s capacity to achieve conscious parenting. Many
parents who define themselves as trauma survivors, share that “I don’t want to be the same kind
of mother as my mother…I want to be the opposite” (Burke et. al., 2021, p. 8). The more
unresolved and past wounds a parent carries, the more they affect our present creating pain,
which impacts our ability to parent (Tsabary, 2023). Parenting often becomes a longing to fill an
inner void, because of our own childhood experiences (Tsabary, 2023, p. 27). “Parenting with
Presence” will provide individuals with the insights necessary to move forward in their healing
journeys, with a better understanding of the experiences that have impacted their parenting and
how to move forward in the most meaningful way. Children will be encouraged and embraced to
step into their own authenticity, with the understanding, love, and nurturance to foster their true
essence.
Trauma Informed Interventions
Moving Toward Non-Shaming Practice
I recently examined research that expands on trauma informed practice and looks at the
shame associated with an individual’s past trauma in relation to their healing journey. Although I
am just learning about this area of research, I plan to explore this topic to further understand how
it relates to the succession of implementing trauma informed parenting programs. Dolezal and
Gibson (2022) argue that “the trauma-informed approach fails to adequately theorise and address
shame, and that many of the aims of the trauma-informed are more effectively addressed through

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the concept and practice of shame-sensitivity” (p. 1). Although the literature appears limited in
this area, I do want to ensure that I have wholesomely explored and captured this within my
practicum/parenting program. I am intrigued to learn about how shame in and of itself can create
a barrier for individuals needing to engage in services, particularly mandated services.
Within my practicum setting at the Phoenix Transition Society, mandatory programs
requiring self referral and commitment at the onset of a woman’s intake to the transition house,
are provided. It will be critical that I explore any barriers that individuals may face when
accessing the “Parenting with Presence” program, from a non-shaming place. I am hopeful that
my research will include studies that respect and provide a non-shaming practice as I learn more
about this topic along the way. From a non-shaming perspective, shame is seen as inevitable,
particularly vulnerable people who have experienced trauma throughout their lives (Dolezal &
Gibson, 2022). Acknowledging this when walking alongside of a person in their journey forward
holds significance. In relation to shame and parenting, it is important to recognize that,
“parenting is one of the most difficult endeavors a person ever takes on…” (Tsabary, 2010, p.
118). Individuals may silently walk with shame and carry it in their parenting journey (Dolezal &
Gibson, 2022). I look forward to exploring this recent phenomenon within my fulsome literature
review as part of my final practicum project report.
Traditional Western Parenting Strategies
In Western society, the emphasis is that “as soon as we were able, we were expected to
take care of ourselves” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.13). The pressure for parents to be perfect, is
prevalent (Hoffman, et al., 2017). Furthermore, “traditionally, the relationship between parent
and child has been hierarchal and linear: the parent issues rules and orders like a military general,
and children either obey or find themselves punished” (Tsabary, 2010, p. 223). “When your

51

children can be seen for who they are – separate from what society expects of them – you can
rest assured that there is no greater gift they could ever receive than being allowed to be their
authentic selves” (Tsabary, 2023, p. xv). Tsabary (2023) argues that “the focus of parenting
needs to be the parent, not the child. If the focus were supposed to be on the child, parenting
would be called “childing” (p. 13). Western society has created an illusion that to be a good
parent, it means that you must raise the perfect child (Tsabary, 2023). “The dominant parenting
narrative has really messed us up” (Tsabary, 2023, p. 65). In my final literature review, I will
spend time delving into the current western ways of parenting, and what the research suggests
will be needed to shift this paradigm for future generations.
“To heal, you need to forgive that old part of yourself and treat it with compassion”
(Tsabary, 2023, p. 141). Parenting programs that focus on resilience, hope, and social connection
provide participants with the ability to mitigate future risk of harm within the context of the
parent-child relationship (Gerlach, et. al., 2020, p. 1). Programs that enhance protective factors
offer a trauma specific focus, which I hope to capture in my final literature review and its
significance within the “Parenting with Presence” program. As part of my final literature review,
I will be reviewing current parenting programs that are offered locally, including Strengthening
Families and the Parent Wrap Around Guidance and Support. Furthermore, I will be exploring
Circles of Security, a parenting group that is offered in transition houses throughout the province,
as well as components of the PEACE program that recommend working with non-offending
parents in a group setting. Although the topic of hope and parenting is quite scarce within the
literature, I will continue to expand on this area of research for my final research project, as this
correlates well with conscious parenting. I hope to incorporate this topic into the “Parenting with
Presence” program, as the power of hope and healing is a key concept.

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Exploration of Modern Parenting Approaches
The Conscious Parenting Approach
Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a world-renowned clinical psychologist who has integrated
teachings of Eastern mindfulness with teachings of Western psychology within the scope of the
parenting field. Dr. Shefali Tsabary (2010) provides a transformative approach to parenting, by
suggesting that the journey of parenting has “the potential to be an especially regenerative
experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent
and child appreciate that each dance on a spiritual path that’s unique, holding hands yet alone”
(p. 61). Dr. Tsabary (2010) enlightens her readers by describing parenting as anything but
organized or orderly, with no easy answers or solutions, but as an opportunity to experience
everything as a learning moment. The journey of parenting has the capacity to be a regenerative
experience for both child and parent, while “embracing the as is of parenting” (Tsabary, 2010, p.
63). Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s conscious parenting work will be utilized as inspiration in the research
for creating a trauma informed parenting program for the Phoenix Transition Society.
Tsabary (2010) indicates that “inner stillness manifests as presence, and presence is the
core characteristic of the awakened, receptive, accepting spirit of a conscious parent” (p. 150).
As parents, the reconnection to ourselves is paramount to the process of connecting to our
children and establishing a transformative relationship. “The relationship between parent and
child is paramount, not specific techniques” (Tsabary, 2010, p. 224). Research literature on
trauma informed practice, in relation to the healing journey and conscious parenting, suggests
that “the first principle of recovery is the empowerment of the survivor. She must be the author
and arbiter of her own recovery” (Herman, 2022, p. 191). This compliments the recognition of

53

Dr. Shefali Tsabary (2010) approach to parenting in that “only to the degree we live in a state of
being are we able to approach circumstances in our life with openness and surrender” (p. 73).
The loving relationship between parent and child begins with a parent’s loving
relationship and nurturing of oneself. The notion that “loving relationships can be one of the
most powerful methods of change…caring relationships are especially important in recovery
from trauma” (Najavits, 2019, p. 37). Tsabary (2010) states that “the relationship between parent
and child is paramount”, beyond any specific technique (p. 224). Techniques involve the ability
to be present with your child, our ability to be open-minded, to separate our ego to enhance our
consciousness, to see moments as teaching and learning, modelling through experiences, being
comfortable in stillness, and accepting life as is (Tsabary, 2010). Acknowledging that children
yearn to have a meaningful connection to their parents, no matter what their age, is paramount to
the process of present parenting. “Inner stillness manifests as presence, and presence is the core
characteristic of the awakened, receptive, accepting spirit of a conscious parent” (Tsabary, 2010,
p. 150). In understanding the core reasons for why we struggle, we become conscious (Tsabary,
2023, p. 8). Conscious parenting is a deeply transformational journey.
The Parenting Map
In Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s book, “The Parenting Map”, it breaks down the map of
parenting into 20 easy to follow steps, using narratives, thought provoking questions, and the
ongoing encouragement of self reflection strategies, to name a few. “This book requires the
reader to be brave, daring, and truth-seeking” (Tsabary, 2023, p. xiii). I appreciate Dr. Tsabary’s
insights into the readiness of individuals to undergo the concept of her work and recognize that
women residing within a transition house setting will often have this readiness, as they take their
own initiative in seeking services, and they have a powerful desire to change. Within the context

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of the parenting map, there will be components that will need to be lightened, with respect to
looking at an individual’s trauma. As I review “The Parenting Map” in its entirety, it may be
appropriate that there will be levels to a person’s learning, based on where they are at in their
healing. “The Parenting Map”, will be one of many other resources used as a point of reference
respecting the literature on parenting. This will be explored and covered within the structuring of
the “Parenting with Presence” program itself. When we can focus on being present with our
children, “we focus on a state of aliveness and connection to the present moment” (Tsabary,
2023, p. 49), releasing parents from larger pressures. Conscious parenting creates “understanding
why your ego has been in place and why it acts the way it does” (Tsabary, 2023, p. 96).
Circle of Security Parenting
I will be exploring the Circle of Security program that several transition houses within
British Columbia are currently offering. It is my understanding that there are transition houses
within the province of British Columbia who invest in training facilitators to offer the Circle of
Security as a program to parents they are serving. Facilitator courses are offered by Circle of
Security International (2024), through online and/or in person sessions. I will continue to explore
this program as part of my final project, to look at how it can compliment the foundational
“Parenting with Presence” parenting program I will be creating for the Phoenix Transition
Society. The Circle of Security is founded on cultivating secure attachment in the parent-child
relationship. “Attachment refers to how we as mammals rely on our caregivers for nurturance as
we grow toward maturity” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.x). In “Raising A Secure Child” (2017),
Hoffman, et al., offer a map to secure attachment in a practical way, offering research-based
learning, which took the developers over a thirty-year endeavour. The founders of attachment
theory, John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, are at the foundation of Circle of Security parenting

55

approach (Hoffman, et al., 2017). Much like Dr. Tsabary’s work in “The Conscious Parent” and
“The Parenting Map”, Hoffman, et al. (2017) discuss the importance of presence in parenting;
being with your child “means creating a shared emotional experience through which your child
learns that all humans have key feelings in common” (Hoffman, et al., 2017, p.7).
Further Areas of Research
Although the topic of hope within the research literature is vast, the literature I have
reviewed to date remains limited regarding the correlation between hope and parenting, and I
would like to highlight this area to address in my final practicum project report. Given that hope
is significant in looking at trauma and healing, it is imperative to understand the role of hope in
one’s healing journey (Grain, 2022). Reviewing studies that explore the impacts of hope may be
relevant in parenting interventions. In the literature that I have reviewed so far, there are limited
studies that focus on interventions and programming specific to trauma informed parenting. My
intention is to create a “Parenting with Presence” program that can provide an opportunity for
future qualitative research on this topic area. It would be interesting to conduct research over
time to gain a fulsome discovery. As such, tracking parents progress over a substantial time will
be important for future research (Burke, et al., 2021, p. 1). It will be important to review
limitations and structural barriers that individuals face when accessing parenting programs. This
will be captured within my final practicum report, based on a thorough review of this topic as it
pertains to the implementation for the “Parenting with Presence” programming.
Literature suggests that future research with respect to ACEs and parenting stress through
interventions should be explored. Future research should be conducted with respect to a parents’
history of ACEs and protective factors that could minimize further harm (Gerlach, et al., 2020, p.
1). Further studies of parenting programs with positive outcomes will need to be explored within

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the literature. This content will be captured in my final practicum project report. I will need to
continue to research all current literature throughout the initial stage of my practicum experience,
to ensure that I have explored a breadth of research and knowledge on trauma informed
parenting practices and programming It is my intention to gather literature that deconstructs
current Western ideologies on parenting, with the hopes of providing transformative parenting
programs moving forward. As Tsabary (2023) states, “the past is the past, but it is the present
moment that matters most…” (p. 4). Essentially, this “Parenting with Presence” program,
whether an individual is a parent or not, will have the capacity to heal and transform their lives,
through the lens of consciousness and with the power of presence.
Detailed Practicum Description
My practicum placement will commence on January 9, 2025, at the Phoenix Transition
Society in Prince George, B.C, and will be comprised of 450 hours. The Phoenix Transition
Society was the first transition house for women and children in Prince George, British
Columbia, and was established in 1974. It is a transition house that primarily provides temporary
shelter for women and/or women with children who have experienced violence and/or abuse.
The agency’s philosophy is that “the house operates with a feminist focus. Our goal is to assist
residents through positive self-development and while transitioning into mainstream society”
(Phoenix Transition Society). Over the years, the transition house has offered support to women
from all walks of life, whether it be transiency, homelessness, addictions, mental health, and/or
corrections. The transition house is a structured environment that provides women with
programming to guide and support them on their healing journeys.
At the beginning of my practicum, I will orient myself with any historical parenting
programming that has been offered. Currently, the Phoenix Transition Society is undergoing

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program changes, and there is not a program on parenting being offered. There are
recommendations by the BCSTH that PEACE counsellors begin to offer group sessions for nonoffending parents. I would like to explore how to incorporate this into the “Parenting with
Presence” program. Furthermore, throughout the province, some transition houses are using
Circle of Security as a parenting program. I will be exploring this program as part of my
practicum and how it can apply to the “Parenting with Presence” program at the Phoenix
Transition Society. The intention is that my practicum project with lay the foundation for a new
parenting program to be offered at the Phoenix Transition Society, one that is transformative,
with the capacity to inform all other programs connected to Phoenix Transition Society.
This practicum placement will provide me with the opportunity to research and develop a
foundational parenting program for the Phoenix Transition Society that is trauma informed and
focuses on one’s healing journey. The program will be offered to all women, whether they
identify as a parent or not, as this program is truly about healing oneself and focusing inward, to
practice being in the present. The intention is to offer the Phoenix Transition Society an ongoing,
ever-evolving parenting program that is educative in nature, provides resources, methods, and
tools at no cost to marginalized and/or vulnerable women residing at the Phoenix Transition
Society, and especially for mothers who are striving to enhance their parenting skills and may be
in contact with MCFD. The program will provide opportunities in a safe space together, to raise
one’s consciousness as human beings, and as parents in attempt to stop generational trauma. This
parenting program will be titled, “Parenting with Presence”. It is my hope that before the
program is launched, it is offered amongst the staff first, to establish a foundation of the
program’s knowledge within the organization.

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Generating knowledge to better the world, is the overarching purpose of research.
Although a significant portion of my practicum will be the development of the parenting
program and implementing the program at Phoenix House, I will also be meeting with key
stakeholders in the community of Prince George, British Columbia, who are currently offering
parenting programs to individuals. These programs include Strengthening Families and Parent
Wrap Around Guidance and Support. It is my goal to establish a program that does not replicate
what is already being offered to individuals in community, while providing opportunities to learn
about the foundation of the program(s) and how this currently applies within a trauma informed
context. The “Parenting with Presence” program will be built with room for ongoing evolution
and expansion, while utilizing a breadth of resources, such as narratives, podcasts, creative
journalling, questions to ask, tips and tools on how to connect with your child, examples of how
to embrace ordinary moments, practicing gratitude, and examples of how to thank our children,
only to name a few. The program materials will be pulled from a variety of resources that are
founded in trauma informed parenting practices.
Phoenix Transition Society offers in house programming to support women’s holistic
healing journey. Currently, the groups offered include Morning Reflections, Healthy
Relationships, Relapse Prevention, the Solution Group, SMART Recovery, and Life Skills.
Historically, Parenting Skills was offered by a certified Early Childhood Educator or the PEACE
Counsellor, learning about nutrition, ages and stages, and daily routines. Furthermore, Phoenix
Transition Society provides the community of Prince George the Prevention, Education,
Advocacy, Counselling and Empowerment (PEACE) program, the Homelessness Prevention
Program (HPP), and Harmony House. The PEACE program is a confidential program offered at
no cost across British Columbia for children and youth who have experienced violence and aged

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3 to 18 (Phoenix Transition Society). Throughout the province as of recent, PEACE programs
requested resources for supporting the wide range of non-offending caregivers they meet in their
work. The BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH) developed a toolkit for supporting nonoffending parents in relation to the PEACE program. As Phoenix Transition Society offers
PEACE programming, it is my intention to incorporate components of the PEACE program
toolkit in working with non-offending caregivers, into the foundational “Parenting with
Presence” program. The HPP offers a variety of support to individuals who may be at risk
and/or are experiencing homelessness. Supports include financial assistance with rent, damage
deposit, and/or additional household expenses (Phoenix Transition Society). Harmony House
provides temporary shelter with structured programming and second stage housing opportunities
for women and children who are at risk of child apprehension by MCFD and to promote
reunification planning for mothers and their children involved with MCFD (Harmony House).
Throughout my practicum, I will have scheduled bi-weekly times to connect with
members of my supervisory committee. Having the space to collaborate, debrief, and brainstorm
will provide me with opportunities to ensure that I am constructing a well thought out parenting
program that remains trauma informed, and client centered at its core. I will be implementing the
process of creative journalling as part of my practicum experience, as I will be undergoing and
practicing tools that are recommended to become a more present parent. Dr. Shefali Tsabary
recommends the journalling process as imperative to becoming a more conscious parent (2010),
and I want to ensure that this is utilized throughout the program I create. It will also be a resource
that can then be used as an example, once the program is up and running.
Final Thoughts

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It is my hope that my practicum project will provide a foundational parenting program
that is trauma informed, that will be offered as part of the Phoenix Transition Society’s ongoing
in-house programming. My research is intended to establish an awareness to building a strong
foundation that provides a transformative parent-child relationship. Over time, my hope is that
the parenting program will impact generations yet to come! It is my dream to one day obtain my
Ph.D., and to incorporate my research into instructional materials for students undergoing their
social work degree, with the goal of enhancing practitioners from a trauma informed perspective.
It is my hope that the topic of parenting becomes more of a natural, ever-evolving dialogue
amongst parents and their support teams, with the intent of re-creating space that promotes
empowering parents to enhance their knowledge and skills, through a natural process of letting
go and relearning in invigorating ways.
My research and final project for the Phoenix Transition Society will have the capacity
to create an everlasting impact that promotes and instills positive change in the lives of
individuals on the journey of parenthood. After all, research allows the opportunity not only to
learn about, but to create social change. I could not be more humbled by the opportunity within
the context of social work, to be a part of such a beautiful journey forward, and all that it has
entailed, every step of the way! I dedicate this chapter of my journey, to my daughter, “Miss A”.
My greatest gift of all. She has been the beacon of light who has provided me with an
opportunity to look deep within myself and undergo my own transformative journey in
incredibly profound ways. I am grateful every day for the gift she has provided me, in raising my
own presence and consciousness, not only as a mother, but as the woman and emerging leader I
am today. The greatest gift we can give ourselves, is the openness to heal, to learn, unlearn,
stretch beyond our current state, and continue to evolve and grow.

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Appendix C: Phoenix Transition Society Pamphlet

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Appendix D: “Parenting with Presence” Curriculum

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