Over the Edge + February 23, 2011 Life After Fight Club Author read-alikes for the cynical and disillusioned VERONIKA KOLLBROD FEATURES EDITOR In honor of Freedom to Read Week (February 20-26) | have compiled a short selection of authors similar to my personal favorite, Chuck Palahniuk (author of the novel which the movie Fight Club was based on), for your reading pleasure. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie or read the book, please hang your head in shame for a few minutes before you continue reading. Chuck Palahniuk — Choke Other works by this author: Survivor, Lullaby, Damned (release date: October 18 2011). Palahnuik is no_- stranger to the challenged/banned books lists so _ | thought | would start with an introduction to one of my favorite novels of his. The first sentence of this novel informs the reader, “If you’re going to read this, don’t bother.” This has about the same effect as telling someone not to think about elephants. Clever CP, very clever! Victor Mancini, a sex-addicted med school dropout, earns a living playing an Irish indentured servant in a colonial-era theme park and moonlighting as a con artist. He Plenty of Fish? ONLINE SOURCE purposefully chokes on food at upscale restaurants in order to coax someone wealthy into saving his life. Out of obligation and personal pride for their heroics, these “saviors” send him money in response to his woes. He is struggling to support his Alzheimer’s-suffering mother who has no idea who he is, but wrote in her diary of her son as a direct descendent of Jesus Christ himself. Craig Clevenger — The Contortionist’s Handbook Other works by this author: Dermaphoria Have you ever imagined what it would be like to disappear without a trace, invent a new life and a new identity? Now imagine that this is not a choice, but a necessity. Born John Dolan Vincent, our protagonist has certain uncommon talents such as forgery and a natural aptitude for mathematics. His self-medication of incapacitating headaches leads him to overdose and ultimately has him awaiting a psychiatric evaluation that could put him away for life. Each time these episodes happen he must re-invent himself without a previous psychiatric record to avoid being involuntarily committed. Your guide to internet dating, part 2 VERONIKA KOLLBROD FEATURES EDITOR Chad Kultgen — The Average American Male Other works by this author: The Lie, and a new one to be released June 21, 2011 called Men, Women & Children. The narrator of this novel is a_ cynical young man who supposedly embodies the true spirit of the average male. He plays video games, is obsessed with sex and checking out girls and hates his girlfriend Casey, who has tricked him into marrying her. If you cringe when you hear the c word, love Oprah, still believe in true love, or in general have a vagina you will probably loathe this book. That being said, some passages are laugh out loud funny and some of the most honest, provocative writing out there. Tucker Max — | Hope They Serve Beer in Hell Otherworksbythisauthor:AssholesFinishFirst What can you say about Tucker Max? What originally started as a website has now exploded into a cult following that includes t-shirts with the slogan “Il Fucked Tucker Max.” His books read like your cousin’s older friend visiting from a college in the states telling you his whole depraved life story. Is it all true? | have no idea, but it’s hilarious. Every year, hundreds of books are reported to the American Library Association as books that have been requested to be removed from public libraries and schools for their content. Freedom to Read Week celebrates our right to freely choose what we read! Visit www.freedomtoread.ca for more information on banned or challenged books. ra ONLINE SOURCE Love for the cynical! You didn’t really think I’d leave you to fend for yourself after the last issue did you? Never! Now that you’ve made yourself an account on an Internet dating website like Plenty of Fish (POF) and checked out what kind of selection PG has to offer (haha), it’s time to make contact! There are three features of POF of note. Other users can (1) add you to their “Favorites,” (2) check off whether they want to meet you, or (3) send you a message. Now, when someone says that they want to meet you, you'll get a POF message to your e-mail inbox saying something like “Cougerbait428 would like to meet you” at which point you might decide to click on the link to his profile and check him out. His display picture is a nice juicy raw steak, and his hobbies include: older women, giving/receiving oral sex, and being a “sugar baby.” If at this point you feel interested, you can send a message! If you are a female, you will probably receive more messages than you can handle so | thought | would share a few of the ones that really impressed me just to give you an idea of what to expect: “ hey lol how are u ?” Note that a “lol” (laugh out loud, for those readers who have been living under a rock for the past decade or so) was used for a simple greeting. | sincerely doubt that just sending someone a message launched you into fits of uncontrollable laughter. “Do you like 4x4ing?” Hmmm, | like 4x4ing just as much as the next girl | suppose.. but | never thought it would be a key characteristic of a potential mate. “hmmm, maybe i can bonk this fishy on the head and eat it too :D’I’m not even going to touch this one. Seriously, this is one of the few times a girl like me is rendered speechless. Moving on.. “So have you evber got that carzy feeling like you are soo small after holding sand in your hand as tight as you can but no matter how tight you hold it it just sifts through? Huh, Me Either!!! haha. ok so i'm bored and just seeing whats out there. Hi I’m Me and you are you. what’s up. PS. i’d read about you but that feels cheep and creepy so I'll just ask you who are you, what music do you like?” Now this guy has all the elements of a first message down to a fine art. He starts off with a deep, philosophical question, which you start to think about only to have him psych you out and shrug it off like it’s meaningless. (Girls like guys that confuse them and keep them on their toes, it’s romantic.) He is inconsistent with his spelling and grammar so that you won't feel like he’s too smart for you. He then tells you he’s “bored” which gives him a legitimate, normal reason to be on POF. He makes sure to mention to you that he’s him, and you’re you, just in case you forgot. Thoughtful! He also points out how he’s not cheap or creepy which is definitely reassuring. Then he switches it up AGAIN and asks you who you are! | thought we had established that earlier.. I’m me right? And just like that, you’re confused again! Crafty. He leaves on a positive note, asking you what music you like which is a very easy but loaded question to respond to. Remember, Prince Charming is only an Internet connection away!