MAKING THE INVISIBLE—VISIBLE: A PHENOMENOLOGICAL STUDY OF THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF TWO-SPIRIT WOMEN by Jacqueline Nobiss B.S.W., University of Northern British Columbia, 2001 M.B.A., New York Institute of Technology, 2007 THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK l**yW8TTY of NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA LIBRARY Prince George. B C. UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA November 2015 © Jacqueline Nobiss, 2015 APPROVAL Name: Jacqueline Nobiss Degree: Master of Social Work Title: MAKING THE INVISIBLE VISIBLE: A PHENOMENOLOGICAL STUDY OF THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF TWO-SPIRIT WOMEN - Examining Committee: Dr. Andrea Gprrell University of Northern British Columbia Co-Supervisor: Dr. Si Transken University of Northern British Columbia External Examiner: Dr. Antonia Mills University of Northern British Columbia Date Approved: November 18, 2015 ii Abstract This thesis explores the identity of two-spirit women as it relates to historical invisibility resulting from oppression. Three women were selected via snowball sampling for a series of voluntary interviews. These women ranged in age from 23 to 63 years old; two were residents of a large city, while one came from a smaller city. All the women identified as two-spirit, with two of them identifying as Metis and one as First Nations. A phenomenological approach was used while employing an in-depth interviewing process. For each participant, three interviews were conducted to gather information: the first to gather the individual's context; the second to reconstruct the woman's experiences; and the third to allow each woman to reflect on their experience and make meaning of it. The results merged into three focal points of discussion. The first pointed to an area of strategic invisibility where the participants described negotiating within their environments. Another point of discussion led to identifying the two-spirit community as a place that holds knowledge and two-spirit history. The third and final point discussed focused on two-spirit essentialism where the concept of identity is an individualized position. This new knowledge augments the field of social work by providing a thorough context of heteronormativity, racism and heteropatriarchy and its impacts on two-spirit women. Additionally this research provides supportive resources for this triply marginalized group, as this work serves as a tool of decolonization and empowerment. Visibility then becomes the newfound strength as knowledge and awareness is brought to two-spirit women, their allies, and communities. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS Abstract 11 TABLE OF CONTENTS A Look at Identity iii vi vii 1 5 7 7 Location of self. 8 Researcher’s conceptual framework. 9 Personal identity. Indigenous identity. 11 List of Figures Acknowledgement Chapter One: Introduction Thesis Layout Chapter Two: Literature Review Gender identity. Sexual identity. Multiple roles and multiple souls identity. Two-spirit women’s identity. Erasure as the Action: Invisibility as the Outcome Erasure. Invisibility of Aboriginal peoples. Invisibility of Aboriginal women. Invisibility of female gendered identities. Historical impacts on two-spirit women. Invisible to visible. Presentation of self. Shape shifting. Summary. Foundational Model Summary. Chapter Three: Design, Methodology and Method 13 16 16 18 21 23 24 25 28 32 35 37 39 41 42 44 45 48 Design 48 Phenomenological Commonalities Collaboration 48 49 iv Methodology Descriptive phenomenology. Method Interviews. Participants/key informants. Data collection. Ethical considerations. Thematic Analysis Limitations. Summary. 50 50 54 54 56 57 58 59 70 72 74 Chapter Four: Findings Context 74 Essence 1: All my relations. Essence 2: Balancing action & reaction. Essence 3: Inner negotiation. Summary. Mind Essence 1 : External influences. Essence 2: Internal resilience. Essence 3: Sense of belonging. 75 78 79 81 Summary. 81 82 85 86 88 Body 89 Essence 1 : Outing the ‘isms’& homophobia. Essence 2: More than a word. Essence 3: Now you see me; now you don’t Summary. Spirit Essence 1: Portal of teachings. Essence 2: Preservation of the sacred. Essence 3: Limited sacred teachings. Summary. Integrated Lived Experience Essence 1: Re-story the story. 90 93 95 97 97 98 100 103 105 105 106 V Essence 2: Reconciling identity. Essence 3: Shape shifting identity. Essence 4: Culture is medicine. Recommendati ons 1 08 110 1 13 1 16 11 8 1 18 119 120 1 23 125 1 29 1 31 131 132 133 Final Thoughts 134 Summary. Chapter 5: Reflective Discussion Prelude to the Reflective Discussion Reflection & Discussion Strategic invisibility. Two-spirit oral teachings. Two-spirit essentialism. Summary. Chapter 6: Conclusion Summary of Findings Significance Bibliography Appendix A: Information Sheet Appendix B: Informed Consent Appendix C: Questions to Guide First Interview Appendix D: Questions to Guide the Second Interview Appendix E: Questions to Guide the Third Interview Appendix F: First Nations Ethics Approval Appendix G: Metis Ethics Approval 135 143 147 149 1 50 1 51 1 52 1 53 vi List of Figures Figure 1 Complete Medicine Wheel 74 Figure 2 Contextual Essences 75 Figure 3 Mind Essences 82 Figure 4 Body Essences 89 Figure 5 Spirit Essences 98 Figure 6 Integrated Lived Experience 106 vii Acknowledgement I would gratefully like to thank my thesis committee members for their commitment and dedication. My sincere gratitude and appreciation goes to Dr. Jos6e Lavoie, Dr. Si Transken and Dr. Heather Peters for their continued support and encouragement as this work unfolded. I would like to thank the BC ACADRE for their support in recognizing the potential of this work. Although I took a leave from my studies, the acknowledgment from the BC ACADRE was assurance that allowed me to continue to pursue researching this area. I would like to thank the Assembly of Manitoba Chiefs and the Manitoba Metis Federation for their emails and letters of support. Finally, and most importantly, I would like to thank my family and friends for their unwavering encouragement and support over these last few years as I was immersed in this work. 1 Chapter One: Introduction Discussions have been challenging when it comes to gender diversity and Indigenous1 women. Complexities emerge in attempting to understand various labels and descriptors; but even more complexities arise when analyzing the underlying causation of the history that led us to where we are today. Indigenous, gender and sexual diversity can be better understood by unfolding the history; factors such as ethnicity, the disappearance and muddling of distinct cultural and social systems, and the denigrating labels that push Indigenous women into hierarchical structures can be an appropriate starting place to change the discourse around these challenging discussions. The goal of this thesis is twofold. The first purpose is to identify the gaps and issues associated with the invisibility of two-spirit2 women and the second, to determine whether Indigenous women become more closely ingrained in their cultural worldview because of embracing their two-spirit identity. It is my contention that some women have embraced the label of two-spirit as a step toward reclaiming aspects of their identity. This reclamation is a process that seeks to solidify a personal understanding of gender/sexual difference as well as to maintain or build a strong position in these women’s self-identified, Indigenous culture that validates their traditions, cultural experiences, and contemporary identity. This research looks closely at the lived experiences of two-spirit women who may have identified themselves as Indigenous/Indian/Native/First Nations/Aboriginal or Metis 1 Indigenous will be described in Chapter 2 within the section that describes Indigenous Identity. Variation of this identifier will also be explained as it is used interchangeably with Aboriginal, First Nations, Metis and Native. Two-spirit is a label used by Indigenous people who identify with some degree of gender diversity. 2 women with diverse sexualities. Research in this area is still in its infancy with few authors capturing the essence of historical underpinnings and a collection of narrated anecdotes; few studies have been conducted relating to two-spirit peoples (Adams & Phillips, 2009b; Brown, 1997; Fieland, Walters, & Simoni, 2007; Jacobs, Thomas, & Lang, 1997) and even less research and information is available pertaining to two-spirit women (Gilley, 2006; Jacobs, 1997; Medicine, 2001; Williams, 1992; Wilson, 1996). Some collections have been found in relation to two-spirit women and health (Fieland, et al., 2007; Lehavot, Walters, & Simoni, 2009; Ristock, Zoccole, & Passante, 2010; Walters, Evans-Campbell, Simoni, Ronquillo, & Bhuyan, 2006; Wilson, 1996; Wilson, 2004) as well as around two-spirit women and their relation to identity theory (Adams & Phillips, 2009a; Adams & Phillips, 2009b; Wilson, 1996). As such, much more work is needed to explore the world of women two-spirits and the sense of identity that is in the process of being reclaimed. Exploring this topic is an attempt to make visible that which has been made invisible through centuries of colonized, historical oppression of peoples. Not only has the oppression been extended towards Aboriginal-ness, (Alaers, 2010; Balestrery, 2012; Cameron, 2005; Cannon, 1998; Tuhiwai Smith, 2001) but also to women as the perceived 'weaker' gender (Gunn Allen, 1992; Wilson, 1996; Cameron, 2005; Lawrence, 2003). A negative perception of women exists as they are often viewed as a subordinate member of overall society and subservient to men (Mayor, 2014; Williams, 1992). This has then driven gender imbalances deeper; such imbalances were basically non-existent in traditional ways of being (Gunn Allen, 1992; Keim & Townsend, 2006). The dominant 3 force of this oppression has become a part of everyday society today and has further marginalized Indigenous women. A third component of marginalization also exists which is defined in Eurocentric terms as homosexuality. Female homosexuality, gender-variant, alternative sexuality or gendered identity, is another level of the hegemonic triangle of power and subordination that serves to press difference outside the realm of socially constructed normality (Brown, 1994; Butler, 2004; Cannon, 1998; Schuurman, 1998). Otherness or other ways of being are simply not acceptable. Colonization has influenced the lives of two-spirit women in such a multi-layered fashion that the process of claiming or reclaiming identity is presumed challenging as so much of the history has been erased (Medicine, 2001). The results of this study demonstrate that these colonizing themes have emerged as current contemporary issues and challenges for today’s two-spirit women. This historical lens helps identify challenges and negative influences that have led to invisibility in all aspects of living, working and being. Even the field of social work, which should be more open to these discussions, is not immune to the invisibility (Cameron, 2005; Meyer-Cook & Labelle, 2004; Walters, et al., 2006). Assumptions frame the colonized need to classify genders into acceptable pronouns that fit male, female or other; it is either the binary oppositional system of the male and the female or the deviant nature of rejected sexual alternatives. Unfortunately, as Towle & Morgan, (2002) state, "One danger is the tendency to believe that adherence to a three-gender system would necessarily be less oppressive” (p. 485). Once something is labeled and categorized, it does not necessarily mean that the answer to non-discriminatory practice 4 has been discovered. Furthermore, the prescription of labels without adequate context and understanding creates a presumptive environment. Even on a professional front, social workers and therapists are not always sensitive to GLBT issues. Fewer yet would understand the complex world of Two-Spiritedness. The risk is high that even sensitive interventions would equate Two-Spiritedness with sexual orientation, and little attention would be given to the spiritual/role component of these special beings. (Meyer-Cook & Labelle, 2004, p. 40) A better understanding must be uncovered that builds on the strengths of two-spirit women and debunks historically bred, negative assumptions. Through an exploration of the literature, combined with interviews of three women’s lived experiences, I set out to address a primary research question; “Does the term two-spirit enrich the lives of Aboriginal women and their identities?’’ Additionally, two sub questions serve to enhance the primary question: 1 . Do women who embrace this term come to understand their culture, traditions and world view in a deeper, more meaningful way —a move toward becoming visible? — 2. Does this identity serve as a portal and entry point into a cultural worldview a new paradigm, one that they had not been previously connected with, for these women? These questions are at the heart of the research to determine why or how Aboriginal women embrace their two-spirit identity and the meaningfulness they gain in their lived experience. Further, the exploration will uncover what this means in terms of shedding 5 negative connotations left by western heteronormative standards. These issues will be explored as the context is described in the following chapters. Thesis Layout The following chapter lays out a foundation for understanding the context of twospirit identity as found in the literature. Chapter 2 presents a review of this literature by describing aspects of identity in terms of Indigeneity, gender, multiple roles and souls, and sexual diversity. A brief historical picture will also describe acts of erasure that led to invisibility for Indigenous peoples, women and female gendered-variants. Linkages will be discussed where visibility is a negotiable aspect of identity. To summarize this chapter, a foundational model used in the data analysis stages will be briefly introduced. It will be operationalized in Chapter 4. In Chapter 3, the technical aspects of the design, methodology and method are described. An appropriate research design was put together with the intent to gain the most enriched data from this small and highly stigmatized community. To carry out this process, a three-staged interview process was selected to elicit phenomenological data from the community participants. Additionally, ethical considerations and research limitations will be covered within this chapter. This chapter will also discuss a comprehensive process that was followed for the thematic analysis to arrive at multiple points of participant essence. The essences will be described in the next chapter. In Chapter 4, each of the essences will be organized and listed according to the model described in Chapter 2. Chapter 4 describes these results and findings, using participant quotes that were categorized first, according to themes and second, according 6 to essence. A summary integrative approach will bring together these essences to finalize the chapter. Chapter 5 will present a discussion of the research results. Essences that encapsulate the entire works in the previous chapter will frame this discussion section. These results will then be linked back to literature where possible. Particular gaps will begin to emerge as the study results are discussed. In the final chapter, a conclusion will be presented that provides a summary of the findings and the overall significance of this work. Implications within social sciences and human service work will be briefly touched on. Future research ideas will be recommended that could potentially lead to changes within the field of Social Work. This chapter will close with my final thoughts. 7 Chapter Two: Literature Review A Look at Identity Identity is very complex and can be defined in a variety of ways. In relation to this thesis, the literature review was narrowed to look at identity from three characteristics of gender, ethnicity and sexuality. These characteristics were separated as overarching aspects of identity that would assist in answering the research question and the two sub-questions. In order to answer if the term two-spirit enriches the lives of Aboriginal women and their identities, each of these categories of identity must be understood. Understanding these distinct aspects also provide a thorough contextual layer giving insight into the external and internal dynamics that serve to place limitations on understanding identity. Identity can be described from a multitude of perspectives including internalized perceptions of the self, to outward, external forces from family, friends and society (Adams & Phillips, 2009b; Goffman, 1969). When we are asked to identify ourselves, there are parameters that may be placed around these identifiers to maintain the appropriateness of the environment. In a work setting, this identity may include our name, employee position and a brief description of job responsibilities. Aspects of the personal life do not get disclosed (Goffman, 1 959) until close and personal relationships guide the releasing of such information. At other times, identity is provided and ascribed by the dominant forces at play which can include heterosexist, white-dominant attitudes that serve to establish and enforce particular roles. Different environments demand different information about our identities. Adams and Phillips (2009b) refer to this as an epigenetic landscape produced by individuals’ social locations. Each epigenetic landscape acts as a conduit, thereby “facilitating and hindering access to different information and experiences” (p. 275). Goffman (1969) referred to this as “strategic interaction” where the observation of the environment dictates the “rational decision-making” (pp. 107-8) mode of action. These social and external forces drive the decision-making and personal disclosure efforts of an individual. Our personal identities then are closely linked to where and how we are individually located. I will explain in the next section using my own positioning as an example. Location of self. Identifying who we are and clearly defining our intent is a thoughtful endeavor that is a necessity in Indigenous research (Absolon & Willett, 2005; Kovach, 2014). This type of introspection provides us with an opportunity to “critically reflect on self as knower; redeemer; colonizer; and transformative healer” (Chilisa, 2012, p. 1 74). For the purpose of this work, I have read numerous books, articles, personal accounts and stories that relate to this thesis. This makes me a knower within this topic area. Through this research and the re-telling of the accounts of the participants in this thesis, I hope to see myself as a redeemer, an activist that is raising awareness of the stories that need to be told so others’ lives may be enriched. I am bringing this topic into the academic arena as an active step to reduce the racist, sexist and homophobic mindsets that are prevalent in every day society. My research within the academy can bring about awareness of the perspective of the colonizer unless there are Indigenous approaches and Indigenous lens applied to this work. I am an insider and a community member of this research target population and to complement this work, I am using my personal Indigenous lens blended with the tools 9 and methodologies created by the academy in an effort to achieve a worthwhile study. As suggested by Absolon and Willett (2005), “Ethnocentric writing can be avoided. .. if the writer reveals his or her epistemological location at the outset through a brief introductory autobiography” (p. 107). To deter from a colonizing approach and bring the balancing perspective of my Indigenous lens, my ultimate goal is to ensure the voices of the participants are shared in the most respectful manner. This work intends to lend insight as part of a transformative healing process that sheds light on two-spirits and their identities. By illuminating this topic, the various complexities that create two-spirit women’s identities will be acknowledged and legitimized, and thus bring visibility to an area that has continued to face challenges. With this, my personal intent is to bring myself to this work and provide readers with a glimpse of my voice and my connection to this research as an insider; a two-spirit, Indigenous woman. In order to do so, I must locate myself in this work and clearly expose my personal conceptual framework and rationale for undertaking this research. Researcher’s conceptual framework. In order to strengthen the research and build a solid foundation for the interview process, a conceptual framework is necessary to "position the researcher in relationship to the research" (Holliday, 2002, p. 52). By asserting my relationship to this work, it will expose and address any question of bias or value driven motives for this research (Absolon & Willett, 2005). As confirmed by Holliday (2002), "[t]he conceptual framework thus states that the researcher's ideological position results from her [sic] agreement or disagreement with current discussion and issues" (p. 53). My conceptual framework is not just a statement of whether I agree or disagree with the current literature 10 or the data gathered from the interviews; it is also a personal and sometimes political reference that will inform the direction of the research questions and the depth, breadth, and quality of the responses and analysis during the interview. This is similar to the personal epistemological location that was described earlier, but is also deeper in the sense that this is the belief structure that drives the questions forward. Identifying my self-location in the research is about the query that got me to the point of wanting to do the research. Saulnier (1996) described a fundamental facet of radical feminist theory where the personal is political (p. 32). The interconnectedness of women's personal lives with that of their political affiliation is an area that is not easily separated, if it can be separated that is. As I uncovered in the literature, through authors such as Beatrice Medicine, Antonia Mills and Sabine Lang to name a few, each aspect of identity can complicate the way women are perceived and therefore accepted, or not accepted in society. My worldview then is best delineated through a holistic Indigenous perspective from a self-identified two-spirit lens. “A worldview is an intimate belief system that connects Indigenous people to identity, knowledge and practices” (Absolon, 2011, p. 567). This worldview becomes the convergence of where the personal is political and is essential to understand because as the researcher, I am also the researched (Absolon, 2011). This is also the culmination of my own identity, knowledge and practice that I have used in the note-taking, interviews, data collection and analysis phases of this research. Again, this worldview is at the core of my conceptual framework and location, so a unique strategy to bracket and contain my world view was critical as the research unfolded. My bracketing strategy will be further discussed in the data analysis section. 11 Personal identity. I am a mixed-blood, bom of a mixed-blood Saulteaux-Cree mother and a Russian, English father. Unbeknownst to me growing up, my gift to walk in two worlds started with them. As a product of the 1960s scoop3, it was not until I was in my early 20s when I was rejoined with my biological parents and siblings. I became re-connected to my biological roots which encapsulated a lot of learning about who they were, and also about who I was. Only then can I truly say is where my identity took a stronghold. A few years prior to re-meeting my family, I came to understand myself as something different than the boxes that society had predetermined for me. I knew I was a mixed-blood. I also knew that my predefined role as a female only allowed me certain privileges in life, to be limited to roles and socially sanctioned, conditional characteristics of the feminine. But deep inside, there was something that I had no words to articulate, no teachers to educate and no role models to help guide the way. In my mid-20’s I came across the term two-spirit. This was the awakening. The term was fairly new at the time and there was not much information to be found on it; unfortunately, it took a number of years before any information began to emerge, especially for two-spirit women. Much information focused on the negative aspects, where two-spirit peoples lived a life of physical and mental illnesses, and worse; some met with their demise through suicide or murder. I wanted to see something positive. In my curiosity, I would question other Indigenous community members that I knew well and whether they had any Indigenous traditional knowledge on this topic. 3 “The phenomenon, called the ‘60’s Scoop’, is so named because the highest numbers of adoptions took place in the decade of the 1960s because, in many instances, children were literally scooped from their homes and communities without the knowledge or consent of families and bands” (Smillie-Adjarkwa 2009, p.3). 12 Nobody seemed to know what I was talking about with the term two-spirit, and even less so about any knowledge that may have existed in the traditional past. At times, some individuals denied and even refused to believe that two-spirits lived before the white man came. My curiosity didn’t stop. I continued to read more into the anthropological and social sciences where individuals spent time with tribes of Indigenous peoples around the world. Work from authors such as Antonia Mills, Sabine Lang, Walter Williams, Beatrice Medicine, Will Roscoe, Lester Brown, and Brian Gilley were pivotal in this learning and gave me the drive to push forward in this research. The stories were there; it —very few. What I discovered was, with only a few accounts documented, that they existed— that we was mostly the men that were visible, and only a few stories of the women existed. Factual accounts of tribes around the world demonstrated the prevalence of our existence. The stories were enough to start me on this pathway to not just learn more, but to also add to the scholarly information that is out there. I recognize my work at this level is not much, but it is a start. I know it is only three stories, four if I include my own voice, of many that are out there; but it is a place where the context of Canadian Indigenous two-spirit women can come to life. My desire to learn more has never been quenched and has brought me to this point of exploration, discovery and recovery of the traditional pathways that were once ours. Tuhiwai Smith (2001), states, “(i]n identifying myself as an [I]ndigenous woman, I am claiming a genealogical, cultural and political set of experiences” (p. 12). As I planned to move forward to retell the stories of the women I interviewed, I wondered if this same reclamation would be found. Moreover, I would add to Tuhiwai Smith’s 13 statement; that identifying myself as two-spirit, I am reclaiming a traditional, genetically inclined, spiritually grounded set of experiences that are rarely acknowledged in either Indigenous or non-Indigenous paradigms. Again, throughout the interviews, the reclamation of this layer of identity promises such possibility. This is my personal starting point for this work. Indigenous identity. To provide clarity for the use of cultural descriptors, I will use two common terms to describe the cultural base of the participant population from a generalist standpoint; 1 . Indigenous will be used for the most part, as a term that is widely accepted; 2. Aboriginal, Native and Indian are interchanged, specifically where transitions have occurred between historical developments to current literary uses of the term. For example, the Government of Canada uses the term “Indian” as a descriptor within their Legislation of the Indian Act (1985) to describe First Nations peoples. Further to this, the terms Aboriginal and Native were more acceptable and commonly used through the 1980s, 90s and early 2000s as communities transitioned into a global or ‘pan’ understanding of Indigenous and Indigeneity. Indigenous can be defined as a “way of including the many diverse communities, language groups and nations, each with their own identification within a single grouping” (Tuhiwai Smith, 2001, p. 6). All of these terms are used interchangeably in today’s society. Many authors cited in this thesis have used the term Aboriginal, so a solid understanding is essential in the continued use of this word today. Three main categories of Indigenous identities in Canada are First Nations, Metis and Inuit. This study does not include Inuit participants so the emphasis will be on First 14 Nations and Mdtis women. First Nations are either classified through registration (Status Cards) as status or as non-status, when they are affiliated to a tribal community but are not registered (O'Donnell & Wallace, 201 1, p. 49). Although the Indian Act is the authority over how registration and status is designated, many Indigenous peoples also have personal ways to identify, such as with their tribe or band, clan system, or other identifiers that are in common use such as Native, Aboriginal, Indigenous, M6tis, or Indian. Beatrice Medicine (2002) discusses one United States approach on how Native women are identified today. — The identity of a person of Indian descent is tied to tribalness that is, to a social grouping based upon biological relationships. Thus, the very nature of a Native female is biologically defined by virtue of enrollment in her tribe, her blood quantum, and recognition by her natal community. Increasingly, tribal enrollment is not only a prerequisite but also the recognition that their tribe is labeled as federally recognized. Other persons of Indian ancestry are members of non-federally recognized entities. There are some cases where tribal enrollment has been closed, but recognition is given by issuing cards. Thus, membership in the tribe, based upon Indian heritage, is validated by ‘cardcarrying’ individuals, (p. 138) Tribal enrollment that is federally recognized generally refers to First Nations peoples. This is very different than how Metis people are identified. The Metis of Canada can be described as “people of mixed North American Indian or Inuit and European ancestry who identify themselves as Metis, as distinct from North American Indian people, Inuit or non-Aboriginal people” (O'Donnell & Wallace, 15 2011, p. 49). The parameters of M6tis identification are less stringent in terms of government influence and policy, and are more geared toward the ownership of self¬ identification. Some of this self-identification happens on an individual level or at a community level. Further transitions have occurred where communities wish to be identified specifically with their cultural identity as First Nations, Metis or Inuit peoples. As this research unfolds, connection to the identity as used by the participants is disclosed in the manner in which they chose to identify. For example, many First Nations and Metis women identify as Aboriginal, Native or Indigenous and can often have a fair degree of malleability in using any or all of these terms. For the literature review, however, I have chosen to use generally accepted terminology or the terminology that has emerged directly from the literary sources themselves. The language and identifiers used by the participants will be discussed later in this thesis. In using general terms, they are not meant to be disrespectful or to separate peoples from the nations or tribes with which they are affiliated. These terms are used to provide an entry into discussions around the distinctive cultural foundations of how Native peoples are described within literary contexts, through history, through Government assigned descriptors, through research and through the explanations of communities who understand the meanings, applications and implications. In terms of this project, these cultural identifiers were also used in gaining participation from the two-spirit women. The terms, definitions and identifiers, then, are meant to provide inclusivity and not to be exclusive. 16 Gender identity. Gender identity often gets confused with role identity and is often limited to a binary system of male as the dominant force, and the other, or female as the subordinate member of the dominant force. Indigenous gender can be described as “a social category which is culturally construed, based upon Native ideologies, and accepted behaviour for individuals who evidence certain social and sexual characteristics” (Medicine, 2002, p.4). Identity drivers include both the social attributes along with sexual and gender attributes. The term gender identity is also used here as fully present in Aboriginal ways of being and includes the sexual, and gender diversity or variance within many communities (Brown, 1997; Lang, 1998; Williams, 1992; Wilson, 1996). Gender identity “refers to people’s own locations within a range of gender identity possibilities within their cultures” (Jacobs, et al., 1997, p.2). As such, gender identities are looked upon with a degree of variance as a result of these ‘locations,’ or as described earlier, the epigenetic landscape (Adams & Phillips, 2009b). Gender identity, at its core, is less attached to the binary oppositions of male and female, but is attached more so to location and culture than anything else. It seems then that gender identity is culturally influenced and each individual will have their own distinct and unique ways of being that are imbedded within their culture. Sexual identity. One of the most common and accepted sexual identifiers used is the interchangeable and growing acronym LG/LGBT/LGBTTQI2*. The acronym represents Lesbian, Gay/ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender/ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Questioning, Intersex, 2-Spirit, and the asterisk represents all 17 others not identified. The acronym for the Lesbian Gay community has expanded over time to include gender variants who felt they were not originally represented within the term. Variations of the term, such as GLBT, still exist within the literature. As sexual identity is explored in its meaning, two other terms should also be introduced. Heteronormativity and heteropatriarchy are influential paradigms or perspectives that are imbedded in society that serve to determine and perpetuate a straight, male-dominated status quo. Heteronormative or heteronormativity is a lens “of, relating to, or based on the attitude that heterosexuality is the only normal and natural expression of sexuality” (Merriam-Webster, 2014). Heteropatriarchy can be described as “(t]he combination of male - patriarchal - and heterosexual dominance essentially describing the severe sex and gender bias prevalent among the elite ruling classes of nation-states” (Collins, 2014). Each of these concepts contributes to the way sexual identity is shaped and keeps it illuminated in a negative sphere of dominance and control. Sexual identity is often socially connected to gender and the biological traits we are bom with, as described earlier. This makes sexual identity an assumed identity or more so, an imposed identity of the acceptable norm (Carabine, 1 996). This is apparent when women are displaying masculinized traits, such as in sports and athleticism; strength and muscularity (Mayor, 2014); when women declare themselves as a feminist (Diamond & Quimby, 1988) or even when men are turned down in their sexual advances toward women (Stephens & Phillips, 2003). Stephens and Phillips (2003) noted “Dyke scripts are most commonly applied when males are confronted by what appears to be a self-determined and in-control woman, no matter what her real sexual orientation is” (p. 24). Statements such as this attach an anti-male stance regardless of sexual preference. 18 The discomfort around gender and sexuality create further complexity when cultural contexts are not fully understood. A brief look into non-European, non-Christian approaches from global Indigenous cultures gives us a unique perspective on what once was acceptable. Multiple roles and multiple souls identity. Gender and sexual identity has a history where it was once inseparable in and amongst tribes (Gunn Allen, 1992; Lang, 1998; Medicine, 2001; Mills, 1994b). At times this presented when individuals demonstrated gender fluidity and could and would change to the opposite gender based on their belief systems. Medicine (2001) points out that various tribal members were supported in their communities through the “sanctioning of sex role reversals through supernatural means” (p. 129). Medicine (2001) also went on to describe how this occurred with the Lakota peoples: Among the Lakota, women changed gender identities through recurrent dreams, whereas men sanctioned their sex role reversals through vision quests. Yet in both cases, supernatural visitations were interpreted by religious practitioners and accepted by kin and community. Thus, through institutionalized dreams or visions both sexes could assume other roles without seriously damaging their social acceptance and self-esteem, (p. 129) The acceptance of the role reversal was not based on the biological gender of an individual, but was “understood in a psychological or psychospiritual sense” (Gunn Allen, 1992, p. 207). This is similar to the spiritual connection through reincarnation beliefs studied by Mills (1994b). 19 Indigenous beliefs in reincarnation are complex and cannot be described fully within this research. Mills (1994a) suggests the beliefs are “imbedded in a whole constellation of complex concepts about the spiritual nature of humans, animals, trees, — birds, and spirits guardian and otherwise” (p. 7). In terms of this research, however, the collection of work by Mills and Slobodin (1994) written in Amerindian Rebirth: Reincarnation belief among North American Indians and Inuit, there are countless references to cross-gender reincarnation (Mills, 1994b), third gender beliefs, “cultural transsexualism, transvestism and shamanism” (Saladin D'Anglure, 1994), and cross¬ gender fulfillment of roles and multiple souls (Slobodin, 1 994a). Although these works are primarily focused on rebirth and reincarnation, there is a connection that begins to emerge as it relates to cross-gender research and the belief structures surrounding multiple souls and the spiritual component —perhaps some of the basis of contemporary two-spirit beliefs. Additional research from Hultkrantz (1997) describes different belief structures from around the world. Some descriptions provided by Hultkrantz ( 1 997) focus on understandings of the Plains Cree and the Ojibwa which is a more closely related local¬ based context to this study: “Plains Cree certainly believed man had two souls” (p. 28) and the Ojibwa believed in the “shadow soul” (p. 1 53) which had to be disconnected and become “independent of its owner” (p. 1 52) so that the soul was free to travel. Mills (1994b) notes that many Canadian tribes, including the Ojibwa and Cree maintain a belief in reincarnation. Beliefs included “simultaneous reincarnation” as well as “multiple simultaneous reincarnation” (p. 28-9) where one soul (or spirit) reincarnated in more than one individual, and where one individual relayed reincarnated traits of more than one 20 spirit (or soul) that has passed. Needless to say, the evidence of multiple souls has been well researched and its connection to gender crossing has been documented by the above writers. Many Christian believers struggle with the concept of individuals claiming to be reincarnated, being two-spirited or in possession of both a male and female spirit or opposite gender spirit (Mills, 1994b; Slobodin, 1994b). Likewise, some Indigenous tribes struggle with the belief of cross-gender reincarnation (Mills, 2001); it is difficult to ascertain whether this is a belief that is influenced by Euro-Christian beliefs or not. Regardless, to claim or dispute whether an individual has one or two spirits is rather a moot point when it comes to cultural contexts. Research listed previously definitely provides us with the background that these spiritual beliefs are very much culture¬ specific. In a global analysis, Hultkrantz (1997) identifies beliefs in multiple souls4 or spirits such as the ego-soul, breath-soul, life-soul, dream-soul, free-soul and death-soul and many beliefs that are attached to each of these. A person may be in possession of their own soul as well as one or more of these additional souls. Two-spirit does not necessarily mean someone with two souls, however; ‘two-spirit’ individuals may have multiple souls, and may be identified specific to their culture in any one or more of these renditions with or without the use of two-spirit terminology. Gender, sexual and spiritual identity can cross many boundaries and demonstrates fluidity amongst various Indigenous tribes. Spiritual beliefs are often imbedded in cultural contexts that assist in identity formation and assignment in and amongst many of these Indigenous groups. The Souls and spirits are used interchangeably with the majority of references referring to souls. 21 following section outlines much of the contemporary work around the terminology for two-spirit, the individually located attachment to the use of the term two-spirit and its relation to identity. Two-spirit women’s identity. The term two-spirit is used to describe what is commonly termed in a western context as homosexual, or in this case, lesbian. In the literature, the word “lesbian” has its limitations and negative connotations attached to it that provide obscure boundaries that do not fit Indigenous or Aboriginal ways of being as an inclusive identifier (Cameron, 2005; Frazer & Pruden, 2010). Two-spirit, also described as two-spirited (2- spirited) and two-spiritedness and often used with or without a hyphen, is fairly generalized in its meaning and application. “Two-spirit reconstitutes an identity that, although misstated by anthropologists, had been based on the recognition of people with alternative genders and/or sexualities as contributing members of traditional communities” (Wilson, 1996, p. 305). The two-spirit identity, although often used in general terms, has a distinct connection to traditional Indigenous communities. Two-spirit has also been used in a generalized manner to encapsulate lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered and queer (LGBTQ) Native individuals in a ‘pan’, global approach (Walters, et al., 2006). At times, it is not a language or identifier that is embraced by all Indigenous peoples (Frazer & Pruden, 2010), but for the purpose of this research, it will be used as focal point of discussion to discover or re-discover Aboriginal women’s gender identity. It has also been noted that two-spirit is a more inclusive term (Wilson, 1 996) instead of descriptors that serve to categorize people simply by sexual acts, activities, 22 actions or the description of the physical biology they are bom with. Western thinking is often misaligned with that of Indigenous thought, in that western thought focuses primarily on the individual and their sexual actions and behaviours. Berdache is an example of one of these terms that serves to categorize people based on sexual acts. Berdache was used for mostly male gender variants, but has been used for female gender variants as well. Berdache is defined as a “passive male” (Williams, 1 992, p. 1 0) and will be discussed more in depth as invisibility is explored below. Other identifiers that have been used for female two-spirits are third gender, which includes “male and sometimes female two-spirits” (Alaers, 2010, p. 67) and fourth gender, which pertains exclusively to “female two-spirits” (Alaers, 2010, p. 67). Third and fourth genders have been found in some tribal communities and in some cases up to six genders have been identified (Roscoe, 1998). This is not to imply that the term twospirit is reductionist in its definition, but what this discussion shows is that there is a growing diversity in how gender identity is described alongside with sexual identity and articulating one of these often leads to defining and articulating the other. Variations beyond three, four and six genders may very well exist, but again, there is more work to be done in this area. Another point of recognition is that the concept that two-spiritedness has become synonymous with the embodiment of both the male and female spirits. “Just as two-spirit women value women and men in the Native community, they embrace the feminine and masculine in their own two-spirit identity” (Walters, et al., 2006, p. 132). Explanations such as this are acknowledgments that two-spirited people are gifted with the understanding and knowledge that allow them to participate in non-traditional roles. This 23 presents a dichotomy as two spirits being able to exist in one, which reminds us that one must be male and the other as female. There does not appear to be an in-between existence where it can be viewed as reclamation of balance and equating what is generally viewed as oppositional. Additional interconnected aspects extend to other elements outside those of gender. “Two-spirit identity affirms the interrelatedness of all aspects of identity, including sexuality, gender, culture, community, and spirituality” (Wilson, 1996, p.3045). As noted above, the discussion surrounding multiple souls and reincarnation demonstrated the interconnectedness of all of these in addition to the personality traits, behaviours and values that have been passed on (Hultkrantz, 1997; Mills, 1994b). Two- spirit identity is not meant to be dissected as one aspect of the individual; the holistic perspective is imperative in acknowledging the contributions of all community members, regardless of gender or sexuality (Wilson, 1996). This is similar to cases of reincarnation (also known as come backs) where recognizable personality traits are embraced and at times fostered within the individual regardless of gender (Mills, 1988, 2001 ). In the previous section, Medicine (2001) described the acceptance of this diversity by kin and community alike. Again, sexuality becomes intertwined with gender and spirit as a hierarchical stepping stone that keeps identity construction a challenging concept to discuss. These constructs become further exposed in the following explanations around erasure and invisibility. Erasure as the Action: Invisibility as the Outcome 24 Erasure. Erasure is different than invisibility. Erasure is an action, and in this research, refers to the colonizing and somewhat successful efforts to eliminate or erase Canada’s Indigenous two-spirit women. Throughout these colonizing efforts of assimilating First Nations peoples into mainstream European society, traditional teachings and cultural strengths were erased in favour of Euro-dominant approaches of patriarchy over matriarchy (Gunn Allen, 1992), one male and one female households (Barman, 2006; Schuurman, 1998) and a Christian-dominant hierarchy over native spirituality (Le Duigou, 2000; Schuurman, 1998). Erasure activities serve to push out culturally specific beliefs, values and ways of being until they are no longer used, lived, detected or seen within the community structures. The outcome then, is invisibility. Other common-place words that have been used to describe the erasure include colonization, genocide, acculturation, theft, murder, extermination, assimilation and even forgetfulness (Gunn Allen, 1992). Colonization refers to the process of subordination of a people that “involved loss of control and ownership of their knowledge systems, beliefs, and behaviors (sic) and subjection to overt racism, resulting in the captive or colonized mind (Chilisa, 2012, p. 9). It is not just a process of colonizing the land; it is the massive overtaking of the entire nation, peoples and minds. Regardless of what term is used, it has led and continues to lead to the invisibility and lack of recognition of Indigenous people and women in society as well as two-spirits as an accepted part of the two gender binary system. Historical (mis)understandings have framed the binary positions of males and females as two very separate and distinct polar opposites with no consideration to the 25 multiplicity of gendered identities in between. Additionally, historical descriptions of Indigenous peoples have similar binary positions of good and evil (Williams, 1 992, p. 181); civilized and savage (Henderson, 2002, p. 28); and “impervious to ethics, representing not only the absence of values but also the negation of values” (Fanon, 1 963, p. 6). These statements are at the core and serve to keep Indigenous peoples, women and gendered identities at the periphery of society. Explanations around invisibility establish a solid foundation of understanding for this thesis and provide readers with the knowledge that words carry a plethora of meanings and interpretations that influence societal perspectives and impact individual worldviews. There were numerous accounts where colonizing efforts led to the purposeful erasure and invisibility of the two-spirit woman. “Such violent erasures, heteropatriarchy, and colonialism are decidedly intertwined for queers and Indigenous people but are not always addressed in relationship to one another” (Burford, 2013, p. 168). The following sections identify intentional acts that attributed to or influenced invisibility of the Aboriginal peoples, invisibility of Aboriginal women, and the invisibility of female gender variants, or two-spirits. Invisibility of Aboriginal peoples. The invisibility of Aboriginal peoples can largely be attributed to the Indian Act as stated by Coates (2008); “The Indian Act, by itself, was simply a tool used by the Government of Canada to exercise near-total control over First Nations people” (p. 4). This near-control exercise seemed to have no boundaries as Tuhiwai Smith (2001), contends, “(t]hese relations were gendered, hierarchical and supported by rules, some explicit and others masked or hidden” (p. 26). The overt and covert processes continued 26 with a conquer and divide mentality that declared Natives by ‘status’ and ‘non-status’ (Lawrence, 2003, p. 6), and who could or could not live on entitled lands selected by the Government. Strategically planned controls over Aboriginal peoples infiltrated every facet of their lives, from where they could live and whether they could retain their Aboriginal¬ ness. Covert rules masked in a disguise and presented as choice and positive changes, were merely different methods to get the result authorities wanted. Policies and processes to disenfranchise the Indian were quickly put into place by the governing powers. Other motivations were introduced to help this process by awarding and rewarding those who ‘volunteered’ by giving them voting privileges, the right to own land and the right to live as a white men (Coates, 2008; Lawrence, 2003). The cost of — this ‘voluntarily’ process was the agreement to abandon their Aboriginal identity or disenfranchisement. Individuals who started out as being Native were now disenfranchised and separated out from their people; a blatant step in erasing their cultural identity and a clear move toward creating invisibility. Further to this, the residential school system, supported by policies, would instill yet another process where Indigenous peoples would be further separated from their language, families, culture, and traditions. The loss of language and the separation from family was made more difficult as children returned home and could not communicate with their parents (Keim & Townsend, 2006). This disruption of language was only one challenge; the separation of children from their culture, spirituality, community and traditions has had astounding impacts where children did not get to learn essential love 27 and care skills (Wilson, 2008). By influencing every generation of the family, including the most vulnerable, the children, “the colonizers effectively destroyed the native peoples and their customs” (Towle & Morgan, 2002, p. 483) to the degree where it may never be reconciled. Political prowess achieved a steady momentum over time creating massive disruptions to generations, familial and gender roles, traditional customs, and the overall cultural interconnectedness. Le Duigou (2000) notes; The colonizers of the New World came from patriarchal, religious monarchies where there was no separation of Church and State. Because of the background, they held racist, sexist, and heterosexist ideas. No one would contest this fact. Yet, it is a mistake to assume that they were informed only by these ideas as we look at their actions as they tried to reshape Native people’s values in their own Christian image. Their ideologies were based upon economic, political and religious systems from their homelands, and they sought to recreate the same kind of society in the New World, (p. 198-9) The reshaping and the process to become something ‘other’ than what they were - sent clear messages to those impacted. Political endeavours are best summarized by Balestrery (2012), who stated, “during the late-nineteenth and early-twentieth centuries, — many factors social anxieties, body metaphors, and codified categories among them— coalesced into a biopolitics of identity driven by an ideology of othering that naturalized inequality” (p. 649). It is clear the political realm was now intertwined with the power over biology and the race of the people. Inequality became the rule as Aboriginal peoples 28 and their unique identities were repeatedly pushed to the margins. Traditional ways of being were erased in exchange for the ways of being of the white European Christian. These examples do not provide the full history or context that led to invisibility of Aboriginal peoples; this is just a small glimpse into some of the policies and actions that took place and hardly does this topic justice. Continued discussion around the role of religion and its blended approach with the state, as well as discussions around the Treaty process are well beyond the scope of this thesis. Additional processes existed that separated M6tis peoples, relocated First Nations and Inuit outside their living, hunting and traditional lands, policies that ambiguously assigned status, non-status, half-breed status and scrip are all part of this purposeful move to erasure (Coates, 2008; Lawrence, 2003; Tuhiwai Smith, 2001). It is clear, then, that history has played a pivotal role in constructing who was and currently is defined as Aboriginal today. Similar policies have resulted in layers of challenges that have also been experienced by Aboriginal women. Invisibility of Aboriginal women. History has also affected Aboriginal women within the various traditional roles they played. This history is directly responsible for creating another layer of invisibility in the magnitude of roles that women could and did work within. From a historical perspective, women had positions as matriarchal leaders (Medicine, 2002), warriors (Gunn Allen, 1992), keepers of medicine (Keim & Townsend, 2006) as well as mothers and tribal caregivers. Currently, the lens framing women’s experience is so very limited and limiting. Roscoe (1998) alludes to this in his statement, "Advancing our understanding of native women's role alternatives at this point requires adopting a 29 broader frame of reference that does not define the subject so narrowly that relevant data are left out" (p. 73). Boundaries of women’s roles became increasingly narrow as the imposed Euro policies constricted the parameters of women’s operation. The Euro-dominant lens used to view women placed arbitrary boundaries around women’s agency within the household and economic positioning and in areas of sexuality (Gunn Allen, 1992, p. 196). Traditional ways of operating were no longer recognized. This is a crucial concept to consider in how women are currently perceived and accepted within a society and how important facts about who they are within their identity get set aside as unimportant. Keim and Townsend (2006) state, “Aboriginal female bodies were double burdened by the racism and sexism of patriarchal colonialism” (p. 14). This patriarchal approach has left a glaring gap of truths and information around women’s identities as a result of racist and sexist colonial strategies. The strategic approach to create invisibility was imbedded in various systems, including that of researchers, the government and religion. For example, the anthropological research lens were very much focused on stories that others wanted to hear; “The omission is significant, because it implies that Western readers are interested in others’ lived realities only insofar as they suit our fantasies or political aims” (Towle & Morgan, 2002, p. 489). We have already defined some of these political aims in the previous section, where domination was stipulated by religious forces, government policies and the Crown. This next section delves into the area of heteronormativity and heteropatriarchy as the theoretical underpinning to erasure of Indigenous ways of knowing & being. 30 Researchers responded to the system in place, and as such honed in on the voices that could and would lead to an over-arching European-Christian lens. Tuhiwai Smith (2001), describes "[w]e are the most researched people in the world" (p. 3), yet important and relevant data continues to be forgotten, left out, and sometimes refitted to meet the needs of the researcher and the agenda at stake, which is often the status quo (Brown, 1994; Reinharz, 1992). The balance of roles, such as those provided by the Indigenous matriarchs was not part of this patriarchal status quo and was pushed out through colonization. Efforts to explore the truths became stymied by the dominant Eurocentric system in place. This is not so much a condemnation of the ‘researchers’ of those times, but it is definitely an insight into the heteronormative systemic structures that had power over what was said, and how it was said, and most importantly the influential power to decide to whom it was said. Other authors support this heteronormative imposition (Fieland, et al., 2007; Saulnier, 1996). As suggested by Saulnier (1996), "[t]he patriarchal structure consists of a system that privileges men through the complex political manipulation of individual identity, social interactions, and structural systems of power" (p. 34). Denzin (2001) contends "[t]hose who have power determine how knowledge will be defined" (p. 51). Not only has patriarchy been the primary participant in oppression against Aboriginal women overall, the patriarchal influence played a large role in reforming traditional identities, social interactions, and the roles women traditionally held (Absolon, 2011; Cannon, 1998; Saulnier, 1996). Moreover, the patriarchal perspective determined how traditional knowledge has been defined and disseminated. Researchers and those responsible for sharing knowledge became institutional branches of the same 31 philosophical positioning that has been laced with patriarchal, Eurocentric values. These values extended to the roles of gender and how society views gender and gender difference today. The perception of women under the Eurocentric lens created further separation and erasure. As suggested by Schuurman (1998), “[w]omen’s bodies were the most constrained. Women’s bodies had been deemed the site of sin” (p. 148). But gender was not the only residing factor as “missionaries were intent on reinscribing the bodies of Indian women as potentially dangerous and in need of restraint” (Schuurman, 1998, p. 149). This inscription was so severe that many women “disappeared in the violence of cultural change” (Schuurman, 1998, p. 151). Some women were enticed, either through strategic alliances to survive or through coercive efforts to became ‘voluntary’ wives of white men (Schuurman, 1998), opting to leave behind their tribe, traditions and culture in — exchange for, not necessarily a better way of life but a different life. Policies and processes, under the auspice of ‘freedom through marriage’, brought on by Eurocentric patriarchy and religious dogma quickly eroded the Indigenous identity of the women. This policy remained in effect until changes to the Indian Act (1985). The Indian Act was very effective in disenfranchising Indigenous peoples and it was also successful in its approach to separate women from their matrilineal customs, traditions and families. As stated by Le Duigou (2000): The Indian Act enshrined marriage as the only means by which Indian status could be conveyed, which effectively legislated compulsory European heterosexuality for First Nations communities that wished to be recognized as 32 legal entities. The sole recognition of patrilineal descent eroded matrilineal traditions, the position of women, as well as that of winktes. (p. 201) Winkle is the Dakota word for male gendered variants and has also been used to identify female gendered variants (Medicine, 2002). To those who do not fully understand the cultural value of these terms, the male winkte was (and still is) construed as woman-like, and therefore is classified into the weaker, insignificant gender category. Women and gendered ways of being had no place in the Eurocentric value system and had to be silenced, relegated to the margins and rendered invisible. This is similar to the treatment of female gendered identities discussed in this next section. Invisibility of female gendered identities. Gendered identities and female homosexuality is the next issue being explored in terms of invisibility. The lens of patriarchy has labeled homosexual Aboriginal women as female berdache (Gunn Allen, 1992; Jacobs, et al., 1997; Roscoe, 1998; Williams, 1992). Berdache was a term used by early anthropologists to describe male homosexuality. Berdache “originated as a term for a passive male homosexual” (Williams, 1992, p. 10), and was often used to describe females as well, as there were no other descriptors in use. This term is particularly important in understanding that this was really the first stage of anthropological ‘blindness’ when it came to women’s roles and positions, especially women exhibiting ‘difference’ or ‘strength’ within their roles. Instead of providing a unique identifier, women were given the same label. Women warriors and women who were perceived as gender variants certainly did not fit the defined parameters of berdache, and likewise, many Aboriginals today, including men, refuse to use this word because of its negative connotations . 33 Williams (1992) went a step further and provided a distinct definition for the female ‘berdache’ and declared the Indian lesbian an 'amazon' (p. 1 1). Williams (1992) described this as the best English word that fit the female warrior identifying it as a "status specific to women that is not subservient to male definitions" (p. 234). Although the Greeks came to identify Amazons as myths or fallacies, they were still often viewed as a tribe of women that were equal to men in their storytelling (Mayor, 2014, p. 23). The strengths of these women were portrayed in much more positive ways that highlighted the gifts of the Amazon, which may or may not have included any reference to sexual relations with other women. Mayor (2014) confirms this: A strong bond of sisterhood was another famous Amazon trait, sometimes interpreted today as a sexual preference for women. The image of Amazons as man-hating lesbians is a twentieth-century twist, however. No ancient account — mentions this possibility and the Greeks and Romans were certainly never shy about discussing male or female homosexuality, (pp. 25-26) These positive portrayals are not always the case, and as identified above, the negative connotations took a stronghold in the nineteenth and twentieth century. Today, unfortunately, the term Amazon is challenging in that it is very much related to ‘male definitions’ and is no longer viewed as women having great strength. For example, Amazon is defined as a “tall strong often masculine woman” (MerriamWebster, 2014); seen as a negative role models and in hostile opposition to males (Mayor, 2014, p. 25); a desexualized Indian princess (Roscoe, 1998, p. 68); or they are “distinctly associated with the warlike element of the masculine role” (Lang, 1998, p. 9). This is a clear comparison of a woman’s outward strength and appearance to that of their 34 male counterparts; the reliance on the binary positioning to understand the ‘other’ (male) continually puts the role of women in a subjugated position. Women do not get associated with their true strengths, roles and capabilities as women and therefore, remain invisible. Regardless of the extension of labels on Aboriginal female gender variants, it has done little to bring out historical truths or to validate the experiences of the contemporary two-spirit woman. As suggested by Gunn Allen ( 1 992); Women in general have not been taken seriously by ethnographers or folklorists, and explorations that have been done have largely been distorted by the preconceptions engendered by a patriarchal world-view, in which lesbians are said not to exist and women are perceived as oppressed, burdened, powerless, and peripheral to interesting accounts of human affairs except in that they have babies, (p. 252) The weakened status of women provides an opportunity for society to always compare women to men, and as such remain powerless. Female gender variants face an additional barrier throughout this historical erasure. This is detected in mainstream society as well as in Aboriginal communities. With the colonial influence in Aboriginal communities, Elders who are looked upon to have a deeper knowledge base than the rest of the community membership are not talking about these rich historical pieces that could restore the visibility of two-spirit people. Cameron (2005) asserts: Our Elders - the gatekeepers of knowledge in Aboriginal communities—have not passed down their teachings regarding two-spirited people’s place in our 35 communities. Either there is complete silence on the issue, or there is blatant denial and homophobia incorporated in their teachings. This has had the unfortunate effect of generations growing up with no concept of what it historically meant to be two-spirited and this has led to the erasure of this history from the collective mindset of the residential school generations, and subsequent generations thereafter. Heterosexist and homophobic thought has permeated the teachings of some of our Elders due to the imposition of Christian values imposed on them in the residential schools. These sentiments often remain unchallenged when spoken by an Elder due to the respect they have in the community, (p. 1 24) If the knowledge exists, it is important to explore why this is not talked about. There is certainly some evidence that traditional beliefs fell into secrecy (Angel, 2002; Gunn Allen, 1992; Le Duigou, 2000) and that gendered variants being seen as sacred may have become part of this secrecy. The secrecy became a protected medicine (traditional gift) and remains silenced; but what is even more baffling is that the release or sharing of this level of traditional knowledge could potentially save lives lost from suicide, reduce homophobia and violence, and restore a lost medicine to communities. As further impacts like this are discussed, it is important to note that this requires a deeper culturalspecific lens to find out additional barriers created by this silence. Historical impacts on two-spirit women. As much as I have tried to keep race, gender and gender variance (sexuality) separate, the literature tells me that these cannot be looked at as individual entities. In regard to theoretical analysis, Wilson (1996), states, “[psychological theorists have typically treated sexual and racial identity as discrete and independent developmental 36 pathways. While this simplifying division may make it easier to generate theory, it may also make it less likely that the resulting theory will describe peoples’ real-life developmental experiences” (p. 303). When identity and ways of being are separated as distinct aspects of the person, then it is further susceptible to falling into the heteronormative, heteropatriarchal comparative where we are forced to look at the constructed hierarchies of gender, race and sexuality separately. We are forced to analyze one in comparison to the ‘other’, enforcing the binary positioning and hierarchical structures; the binary system of male and female, straight and gay, Native and non-Native, those with power and those without. A deconstructed approach to human development like this, denies that one aspect of being does not have an impact on another and therefore does not give a true reflection of the depth and breadth of identity. The combination of these impacts is referred to as “compounded colonization” (Balestrery, 2012). Walters, et al. (2006) discuss this disconnection and state, “[a]ssimilation into White lesbian culture quite often placed twospirit women in the position of disconnecting from Native relatives and community” (p. 137). The acceptance of one aspect of identity over another can also lead to “self¬ destructive patterns” (Walters, et al., 2006, p. 137). These patterns are often analysed in isolation from one another which again does not allow for the true reflection of what this means for women’s identity. In one such analysis, Wilson (1996) challenged the application of identity development models in that the models “do not, however, describe the effects of the simultaneous experience of homophobia and racism” (p 309). This level of description and analysis must come directly from those who share this lived experience. 37 Invisible to visible. It must be realized that the reclamation of a distinct Aboriginal homosexual identity has resulted from historically discounted affairs, myths, traditions, and forgotten genders. From this, the universally accepted contemporary term to describe Aboriginal homosexual identities has been coined two-spirit (or two-spiritedness/two-spirits) in an effort to self-identify. The adoption of this label in 1 990 was "deliberate, with a clear intention to distance themselves from non-Native gays and lesbians" (Jacobs, et al., 1997, p. 3). For some, this label proves challenging as traditional translations do not fit or even exist as the name is not easily interpreted in many Native languages. For others, however, the experience of taking on this name became the missing piece in years of identity seeking and misguided attempts of fitting in with mainstream, non-Native culture and Western definitions. Although researchers have found more than two hundred original tribal descriptors for multiple gendered peoples, such as winkte as identified earlier (Williams, 1992), the drive to find a European fit became a focal point. The name ‘two-spirit’ became a positive connector for many Indigenous peoples for many reasons. For example, two-spirit acts as a portal into the Indigenous culture, closer connection to their own cultural worldview, another avenue for other ethnicities to seek out their own identifiers (Mayer, 2008; Greensmith & Giwa, 2013), and as an inclusive moniker that did not leave anyone out. Walters, et al. (2006) summarizes this nicely: Two-spirit identity served not only to push away White dominance but to pull together the Native community with a collective identity in the struggle against racism, heterosexism, and internalized oppression. Many of the women described 38 a two-spirit identity as a unifying construct that allows them to join with other Natives to explore their sexuality and gender from an indigenist perspective, (p. 133) It is important to note, however, not all Indigenous homosexuals embrace this term as a self-identifier. There appears to be some challenges as many Indigenous people do not fully accept the English terminology of two-spirit. This gives a sense of the diversity amongst the Indigenous communities and the individual ways people wish to identify (Frazer & Pruden, 2010). Driskill (2010) illuminates the generality of such a term: “(j]ust as there is no such thing as a generalized ‘Native’ person, there is no such thing as a general ‘Two-spirit’ identity” (p. 83). Suggesting this is a “contested identity” (Greensmith & Giwa, 2013, p. 136), Cameron (2005) identified a process of “cultural appropriation by mainstream society” where non-Aboriginals feel entitled to use this term. It becomes problematic in this case as no-one is certain on the meaning of two-spirit. Claiming oneself as two-spirit is not as easy as it seems when people feel challenged by mainstream society in having to come up with a definition. Identity is personal and there will be variations from person to person. This makes the definition of this fairly contemporary term difficult to articulate in a consistent manner. The embodiment of male and female spirits within one person is also something that has become rather attractive and romanticized by mainstream culture (Walters, et al., 2006; Wilson, 1996). As a result, some Indigenous peoples are rejecting the term in search of names with cultural specificity, such as ogokwe (Anishinabe or Ojibwa) or winkte which comes from the Lakota and Dakota as described earlier. In this case, the term comes 39 from the language, belonging to the people, instead of an identifier belonging to a sub¬ culture. Cultural specific terms like this rarely travel across cultures and are less at risk for cultural appropriation. This strengthens the overall individualization on how each person chooses to identify. Another consideration, however, is to reflect on how individuals hide or “pass” which is discussed next. Presentation of self. If erasure is the action and invisibility is the outcome of that action, “passing” (Goffman, 1959) is the natural human response to compensate for the impact of this outcome. Passing is not just a response to one layer of this dynamic, but is multilayered and poses challenges that can act as a double-edged sword. On one side, to pass is to hide an aspect of one’s identity and to not take a stand; this can be construed as a compromising of one’s values, beliefs and spirit (Goffman, 1959; Mills, 1999). On the other side, to take a stand and be exposed, means taking risks to face stigmatization and become a target of racism and/or homophobia or both (Goffman, 1963, 1969). This risk may mean becoming ostracised, losing one’s job, losing one’s family, or even becoming a target of physical, mental and emotional violence. These risks are inherently tied to the purposeful acts of erasure through the development of social rules, especially where visibility rests on whether to speak or not to speak. At times an individual’s attempt to pass may be for naught. Actions, behaviours, ways of being may very well be aspects of identity that have become stereotypical indicators of homosexuality. In this case, regardless of whether an individual attempts to pass or not, the usually hidden aspects of identity will be known to others (Goffman, 1963). Society goes to great lengths to create criteria for enrollment or acceptance in 40 social groupings and it takes a great deal of observation and negotiation to determine what the criteria may be in certain environments. “Courses of action or moves will then be made in the light of one’s thoughts about the other’s thoughts about oneself’ (Goffinan, 1969, p. 127). Others are then left to make judgement calls based on stereotypical indicators and assumptions that are promoted and constructed by society. Again, risks may arise as a result of these assumptions. The criteria for enrollment and acceptance may be one of the driving factors where individuals will choose to remain in hiding or even invisible in some cases. In spite of homophobic responses and discriminatory behaviour, individuals still seek to disclose their gendered identities. As suggested by Goffinan ( 1 959) “[s]ociety is organized on the principle that any individual who possesses certain social characteristics has a moral right to expect that others will value and treat him in an appropriate way” (p. 13). There is an underlying tone here that suggests social rules are governed by the social criteria that established them and any breaking of these rules demands some sort of maltreatment. Mills ( 1 999) suggests that in cases where groups are oppressed, there is an obligation to “fight back” (p.30) against these forces for the betterment of all. This seems to be an unreasonably high expectation especially when individuals perceive a level of danger or threat. The perception of danger or threat seems to be more of a reactive response indicator rather than a response to the socially established rules. In light of assessing specific circumstances, there is still an in-depth inner negotiation. Mills (1999) states that individuals must go through a “cost-benefit calculation to decide whether and how to balance loss of dignity and selfhood against societally induced pain” (p. 44). Renfrow 41 (2004) discusses a self-management process from Goffman (1959): “impression management includes self-presentation strategies individuals use to enhance their favorable impression in the eyes of their audience” (p. 488). Individuals can choose impression management strategies or, if the costs are not too much of a deterrent, they may choose to disclose their hidden identity; in this case gendered sexuality. Either position remains in the decision of the beholder and the perception they have of the environment they are attempting to negotiate within. Shape shifting. Another way of looking at passing from an Indigenous perspective is what is called “shape shifting”5 (Gearin, 2014) or “shifting” (Greene, 2000; Kadar, 2011). Kadar (2011) equates shape shifting with passing and even went so far as to identify multiple subtypes of passing6. While Kadar (201 1) mostly mentions White to Native shape shifting (p. 80), he outlines shape shifting subtypes as those who are immersed, mediate, fake and hobby shape shifters working to gain knowledge of the tribal communities (impression management). Kadar (2011) contends these attempts at passing “tend not to challenge but to reconstruct stereotypical images” (p. 78). This is typically because only the essentialist traits are copied to gain the trust of the community of acceptance, which is very closely aligned to impression management described above. This is a very different perspective than the mythical traits of shape shifting practiced by shamans and medicine people. 5 Shape shifting is found in the literature as one word or as two words Multiple subtypes include 1. Captives, semi-voluntary ethnic shifters, 2. Mediators of the Frontier, parttime Indians; 3. Indian wannabes, fake lifelong Indians, tricksters, and 4. Hobby and powwow Indians. These are listed as a point of reference and are not covered in this study. 42 Shape shifting practiced by shamans and medicine people are described synonymously with supernatural powers and abilities (Angel, 2002; Hultkrantz, 1997). In one sense, shape shifting takes on a full manifestation of an animal spirit for a variety of purposes; sometimes to heal, sometimes to harm (Gearin, 2014; Greene, 2000). Greene (2000) describes one type of shifting as somewhat different, where it is more of a mental manifestation that does not transform the body; this is also similar to the impression management strategies described above where mental transformations and adaptive behaviors are employed to win favour. In either case, shape shifting is the intent to pass as something different other than the human form. Descriptions of these manifestations are found in traditions told about the creation story (Angel, 2002) or around descriptions of the free soul that travels in life or in death (Hultkrantz, 1997) or to evade danger or to protect (Hultkrantz, 1 997). Some transformations occur, as described by Mills (1994b) to teach the hunter about the hunted (p. 34). These transformations are referred to as reincarnations of the animal to human (Mills, 1994b) after death, but the descriptions bear a strong similarity to descriptions of shape shifting as well. Some parallels can be drawn between these concepts of passing and shape shifting, while beliefs surrounding soul -occupancy in life or after life are theories at best. It is important to note that as passing is noted as a behavioural theory or strategy, shape shifting can certainly be equated as a spiritual theory imbedded in the culture. Summary. Colonization and imposed Euro-Christian policies have been enforced on Aboriginal peoples in many layers. Political decisions have placed Aboriginal women in 43 a subordinate position to that of their male companions. Historical challenges have driven Aboriginal female gendered variants to a place where they too have been erased from the history books and society as a whole. In looking at the Indigenous female gender variant, their displacement has occurred in multiple attacks that has rendered them virtually invisible. Acts of erasure from society have created this sense of invisibility. At times this invisibility creates a reactive response through hiding or attempts to pass. Individuals who do not meet the expected social criteria can expect to be maltreated — so hiding can be viewed as a protective mechanism so people can remain safe and secure. Those who are hiding may also be seen as obligated to fight back to create a sense of space and belonging for the entire community. What resonates within this literature, is that it is not that simple; each environment creates its own set of criteria which has to be negotiated, day-by-day or through each minute. Passing is not a restricted behaviour only for this community, but is a behaviour that is practiced on many levels when interacting with personal circles. Observable behaviours that are manifested are selected in an attempt to fit in. With acts of erasure and the resultant invisibility, the impacts are individual as they pertain to each person and their social and personal location. The negotiation of these environments and the potential to disclose sensitive and personal information is a very sensitive and personal matter. Behaviours and beliefs may be coined passing, shape shifting, transformations, reincarnations or impression management. Both passing and shape shifting have a closer resemblance in their intents to move through the environment purposely and strategically. 44 Reincarnations, soul-occupation and after-life transformations are theories connected through culture-specific spirituality, but are not as clearly aligned as the descriptions of passing and shape shifting. The following section, closing this chapter, outlines a foundational model that is inclusive of these personal aspects. Identity is very complex as is the compounded history that has influenced and shaped lives. As such, a model that reflects the contextual circumstances shaping people’s experiences is helpful in articulating details of a lived experience. “Lives must be understood within the complex context of culture, and subsequent study either of the text of ethnographic inquiry or of the psychoanalytic interview must preserve recognition of context, including that of ethnographer and informant or analyst and analysand” (Cohler, 1 994, p. 1 69). It is my belief that the cultural context must also resonate through this understanding. With this in mind, a representative model to present the findings was explored. This model will be briefly described next, but will be understood further as it is operationalized in Chapter 4 as the analytical framework to present the findings. Foundational Model One important aspect of this thesis was to approach and present this research with sensitivity, respect and a commitment to acknowledging the participants experiences. Chilisa (2012) identifies alternative approaches to research, and in particular identifies a decolonizing methodology designed by Cross, Earle, Echo-Hawk Solie, and Manness (2000). The model outlines four quadrants, similar to the medicine wheel that “represent[s] four major forces or sets of factors. They are context, mind, body and spirit” (p. 21). This model resonated with me and the research process that I wanted to 45 pursue so it was selected as a way to analyse the data, and organize and present the findings. The descriptions for each of the quadrants are as follows: • The context includes culture, community, family, peers, work, school and social history. • The mind includes our cognitive processes such as thoughts, memories, knowledge and emotional process such as feelings, defenses and self-esteem. • The body includes all physical aspects, such as genetic inheritance, gender and condition, as well as sleep, nutrition and substance use. • The spirit area includes both positive and negative learned teachings and practices, as well as positive and negative metaphysical or innate forces, (pp. 21 22) Chilisa (2012) noted that through the use of this model, a balance could be struck between the use of Native American worldviews to work “either alone or to complement Euro-Western academic discipline frameworks” (p. 217). In this case, it is not just complementing the Euro-Western academy, but is giving it shape and sustenance. This will become clear as the results are described in Chapter 4. Summary. The literature review uncovered basic elements of identity construction that also showed the depth, complexities and interconnectedness of self-identifying in comparison to external identification. Society, with imbedded beliefs and attitudes grounded in heteropatriarchal and heterosexist mentalities, acts as the overarching powers that dictate the shaping and naming of people’s identities. The impacts of these attitudes create a 46 hierarchical positioning that place Indigenous women at the periphery. When Indigenous women are also identified as two-spirit, the margin becomes more expansive. Erasure is clearly a mandated action that has been enacted by colonial forces throughout history. Like layers of an onion, individual identities have been peeled away layer by layer; first the layer of Indigeneity (Tuhiwai Smith, 2001 ), next and even simultaneously, the degradation and subjugation of women (Keim & Townsend, 2006) and even more so the aggressive elimination of gender variants throughout tribes around the world (Williams, 1992). The erasure as the action, has led to its targeted results of invisibility. Indigenous culture and traditions have been decimated and replaced with the Euro-dominant belief structures imposed by government policies and Christianity. The preservation of some traditions were successfully hidden, remaining protected; but what these were are not entirely known (Angel, 2002; Gunn Allen, 1992). Indigenous women either became commodities of sexual service (Keim & Townsend, 2006) or marriage (Schuurman, 1998) or both (Gunn Allen, 1992; Medicine, 2002; Schuurman, 1998) and have been relegated to subordinated positions. The matriarch is no longer recognized and is now replaced with the patriarchal structures. Christian demonization over gender and sexuality has been the prominent force that has led to the disappearance and invisibility of gender variants and two-spirit peoples. As a result, so many two-spirits hide or pass with their gifts of being able to walk in both worlds paying the price of playing the game and compromising to the parameters imposed by society. Protection, safety and personal preservation are carefully strategized and balanced with the need to disclose one’s true identity. 47 This is not to say that Indigenous people, or Indigenous women have been passive recipients of this imposition, as there has also been a pathway where individuals have comfortably negotiated their identity and its immergence in the public identity. The pathway to the current immergence is a critical highlight in response to the research question of whether the term two-spirit enriches the lives of Aboriginal women and their identities. This topic will be uncovered in Chapter 4, but first the design, methodology and research method will be described in the next chapter. 48 Chapter Three: Design, Methodology and Method This topic is sensitive in nature and is highly stigmatized facing a number of barriers, obstacles and stereotypes within society. As such, an exploratory and descriptive lens using phenomenology was the most feasible approach to shed light on this topic area. Using a phenomenological lens allowed these women to describe their lived experiences from their personal positions and give these experiences meaning. The following sections will provide a description for the research design, methodology and method that were selected to conduct this study. Design There are some general perspectives on what phenomenology looks like and how it is conducted. It is important to understand the philosophical underpinnings of the phenomenological approach used prior to conducting the research (Lopez & Willis, 2004; Maggs-Rapport, 2001). Authors Giorgi (2006), Lopez and Willis (2004), and MaggsRapport (2001) stress the importance of understanding particular aspects of the methodology to maintain the integrity of a scientific approach. From this, I provide an introductory overview of a few of the basic tenets that are transferrable between phenomenological styles. After the basic introduction, I then provide an overview of the specific type of phenomenology selected for this study and the rationale according to fit and feasibility. Phenomenological Commonalities Phenomenology is an approach "that seeks a deeper and fuller meaning of the participants' experience of a particular phenomenon" (Morse & Field, 1995, p. 151). Using a primary method of interviewing, this approach should ideally "seek to discover 49 information about the experiences of the interviewee in the language and gesture of that person" (Kirby & McKenna, 1989, p. 68). Through a process of exploration, the emergence of the lived experience is manifested by what the individual brings forth. Readers' perceptions of these reflections give it further life and draws out the essence or “the implicit structure and meaning of such experiences” (Lin, 2013). As suggested by van Manen (1997), "essence is not a single, fixed property by which we know something; rather, it is meaning constituted by a complex array of aspects, properties and qualities" (p. xv). From a phenomenological perspective then, experience is a reflection, a perception, and a truly individual occurrence that cannot be measured in truths. It is the striving for meaning. Collaboration In phenomenological approaches, it is also the collaborative efforts between the researcher and the researched that needs to come together in a dyadic, dialogical process that demystifies research as a purely scientific method, and reframes it as a deep and intellectual learning process that is sharing important aspects of the phenomenon in question. Each member of the dyad acts as an equal partner, "an autonomous human being with thoughts and feelings and experience" (Kirby & McKenna, 1989, p. 69), and considers the needs of both equal parties (Kirby & McKenna, 1989). Morse and Field (1995) state phenomenological "[d]ata collection may take the form of in-depth conversations in which the researcher and the learner are coparticipants" (p. 22) leading to a position of “shared familiarity” (Lindseth & Norberg, 2004, p. 147). Participants become coparticipants, working alongside with the researcher in this dialogue. 50 In this joint effort, coparticipants can easily have their stories, experiences, and lives recounted through a respectable, collaborative phenomenological research approach. As indicated by Morse and Field (1995) "[v]alidity rests in the richness of the discussion" (p. 23) in phenomenological communication, which again, is unique and does not require reasoning for the responses gained, but a joint exploration of the essence of the dialogue. One of the guiding points important to mention at this juncture, is the amount of information, thoughts and ideas that are brought into the dialogue by the researcher. Unless there is a level of containment or bracketing7 around the researcher’s thoughts, the dialogue can be construed as leading or misleading. This will be described more in the following sections as the differences of phenomenological approaches are discussed. Methodology Descriptive phenomenology. The type of phenomenology used in this work was an approach stemming from the work of Edmund Husserl, who is identified as the father of phenomenology (Cohen & Ornery, 1994; Giorgi, 2005; Kakkori, 2009). “His eidetic, or descriptive, phenomenology sought universal essences, their structure and relations, based on the eidetic reduction” (Cohen & Ornery, 1994, p. 138). Along with being identified as eidetic or descriptive, the approach is also identified as transcendental (Kakkori, 2009). Cohen and Ornery (1994) explain eidetic reduction as the “reduction from particular facts to general essences” (p. 139), whereas transcendental “provides us with access to ‘the transcendental ego,’ or ‘pure consciousness,’ within which everything that exists is an object” (Kakkori, 2009, p. 21). Eidetic reduction is about taking the information relayed 7 Bracketing is fully explained later in this chapter in the Thematic Analysis section. 51 (as facts) and reducing this information to essences of meaning. Transcendental reduction offers a less linear description that lends insight into the journey of sifting through the information to find the essence. For Husserl, “description is primary and that description is a special type of interpretation” (Giorgi & Giorgi, 2008, p. 167) and this is the basic premise within these definitions. Along with reduction, another important concept central to descriptive phenomenology is epoche, which stems from the Greek, “meaning to refrain from judgement” (Moerer-Urdahl & Creswell, 2004). This is also known as bracketing. The researcher must bracket their own preconceptions, knowledge and language to allow the genuine dialogue to present itself (Giorgi, 2005, 2010). Facts must first be explained from the perspective of the participant — free from the preconceived notions of the researcher, which is then open to interpretation and arriving at the essence through reduction of these facts. Both reduction and bracketing are methodological tools operationalized within Husserl’s phenomenology (Giorgi, 2010, Kakkori, 2009). Both tools are necessary within the descriptive phenomenological approach. Further, by suspending judgment, or through bracketing, "it becomes possible to focus on the intrinsic nature or phenomenology of conscious acts such as perceiving or remembering" (Schwandt, 2001, p. 19). This is somewhat similar to what Laverty (2003) referred to as pre-understanding. This pre-understanding is the meanings or organization of a culture that are present before we understand and become part of our historicality of background. Pre-understanding is not something a person can step outside of or put aside, as it is understood as already being with us in the world, (p. 8) 52 Bracketing can be considered a safety mechanism that protects the participant's information by allowing it to be gathered in its 'truest' form, whereas pre-understanding can be viewed as the 'lens' through which we are looking; the philosophical positioning of the researcher. Either way, acknowledgement of these issues must be considered as influential factors in gamering research so as not to interfere with the data collection or results, thereby imposing on the credibility and validity of the research. Bracketing is essential to maintain scientific rigour. This is opposite to the view of Heidegger, who was Husserl’s student and who ended up advancing Husserl’s phenomenology toward an interpretive, hermeneutic lens. Heidegger’s perspective was that description was secondary to the interpretation offered by the participant. Giorgi and Giorgi (2008) relayed his view as “interpretation is primary and that description is a special type of interpretation” (p. 167). Laverty (2003) suggests that individuals must be aware of and account for this interpretation; it is relayed then through their language which becomes interpreted through the hermeneutic circle and not through bracketing the researcher’s prior understanding of the topic area. Kakkori (2009) discusses the “hermeneutic circle” where “the understanding always comes in the form of a dialogical relationship. There is a speaker and a hearer, and hearer mysteriously understands what the speaker is saying” (p. 23). The interpretation is partly due to the way that the hermeneutic approach views the participant as living within their context; this context cannot be separated out, but comprises the interpretation. On one hand, in the hermeneutic style, Laverty (2003) explains Heidegger’s positon in stating there is no “distinction between the individual and [their] experience” and that they are interpreted as “co-constituting each other and unable to exist without the 53 other” (p. 14). The researcher acts as an active conduit in this process by bringing her or his thoughts, terminology and personal understanding to the dialogue in order to arrive at the meaningfulness within this interpretation. Bracketing in this sense is not necessary on behalf of the researcher as it is assumed that the discourse is common knowledge as the research unfolds. One potential challenge here is that it makes it difficult to discern the researcher’s interpretation of this context from the participant’s interpretation of the context, complicating the real pathway to meaningfulness. Both the Husserl and Heidegger perspectives share some basic tenets of the phenomenological commonalities, but as 1 just identified, the process to arrive at the results is quite different. The major difference of these perspectives is the involvement of the researcher from the outset. In my view, the strengths of the descriptive (eidetic/transcendental) approach is that the interpretation originates with the quality of description from the participant, and not so much what the researcher is able to offer as the active listener. One may argue that the information is already given an interpretation by the participant and to provide a further analysis seems to discount the participant’s account and re-establish it as something different. The ascribed meaningfulness would give the impression that it is influenced by the researcher and not an organic display or presentation provided by the participant. In my perspective, this may be contrary to what I feel this research should be working toward. The difference then can be simply stated; Kakkori (2009) mentions that “phenomenology [Husserl’s perspective] is usually described as studying the essence, and hermeneutics as studying the process of interpretation” (p. 19). It is with this definition that the importance of the approach matches the study, the style of questions, 54 the approach to dialogue and the overall analysis (Giorgi, 2006; Laverty, 2003; Lopez & Willis, 2004; Maggs-Rapport, 2001), Because this research topic is such a new area of research, I believed that a deeper analysis could be gained by moving from the participant’s description toward interpretation and reduction to arrive at “common concepts integral to the experience” (Lopez & Willis, 2004). A descriptive phenomenological approach is the most appropriate fit. Method Interviews. The in-depth phenomenological interview is an unstructured interview and is comprised of open-ended questions in which the researchers' "task is to build upon and explore their participants' responses to those questions" (Seidman, 1998, p. 9). This task is carried out through a series of three interviews: The first interview establishes the context of the participants' experience. The second allows participants to reconstruct the details of their experience within the context in which it occurs. And the third encourages the participants to reflect on the meaning their experience holds for them. (Seidman, 1998, p. 11). This method of interviewing acts as a funneling process in which the primary investigator starts broadly, encapsulating the participants' experience and context of their world-view and gradually narrows the process toward completion. Through the second interview, more information is gained about the individual overall, but with a refining process taking place about the actual topic under research. Finally, the last interview is where the participant assigns meaning to their narratives from the first two interviews, thereby drawing out the essence of their lived experiences. 55 In the context of this study, interviewing the participants utilizing the three-step approach proved to be a lengthy task which required a great deal of organization. Every effort was made to accommodate the participants’ schedules in respect of time and location (Seidman, 1998, p. 43). I used a 90-minute guide as suggested by Seidman (1998) to approach the interview process so both the interviewer and the participants had an ending point established. To facilitate this process, a wide time frame was offered to participants between 30-90 minutes for each interview based on their schedule and ability to commit. Consistent with the literature, I used a collaborative process with the participant to answer any questions on how the interview would take shape or to combat any confusion around time frames. This is supported by Kirby and McKenna (1989) who suggest "It is preferable that the interviewer and the participant together define what form the interview will take" (p. 66). As such, participants were engaged as collaborative partners to ensure the scheduling process met their needs and contained the flexibility required for their full participation. Participants also signed the consent form prior to the first interview start date. The process of seeking ethical approval is described in more detail below. Both the collaboration and the multi-layered approach proved highly beneficial in gaining trust as each interview took place. It was also very useful in providing a foundation of credibility and validity of the participants' experiences which seemed to be an open door into building momentum toward the meaningfulness they uncovered. This level of depth was appreciated by the participants as they were able to move through their stories at a comfortable pace. Participants mentioned they were also glad they had the 56 opportunity to revisit the discussion so they could expand where they felt that was necessary. This will be discussed more fully in later sections. Participants/key informants. The population for this research was women who self-identify as two-spirit. Due to the sensitive nature of this highly-stigmatized topic, two-spirit women were selected through a snowball sampling technique. Rubin and Babbie (2001) suggest "[s]nowball sampling is appropriate when the members of a special population are difficult to locate" (p. 255) or where there is a specific level of trust that is required (Atkinson & Flint, 2001). As such, as a self-identified two-spirit woman, I used personal contacts in the form of this sampling technique to obtain sufficient, voluntary participants for the research in question. Information packages containing the Letter of Information (Appendix A) and a consent form (Appendix B) were handed out to close, personal contacts from the LGBT community to be passed out to known Aboriginal women within the LGBT community. Women were then free to contact me directly if they were interested in being interviewed. Atkinson and Flint (2001) refer to this type of snowball sampling as a chain referral where the participants could only be found through insider connections within the LGBT community. This also maintained a level of safety and trust to not expose an individual’s community membership if they chose not to participate. In terms of actual respondents, two participants followed through and connected with me. The information letter was discussed and once it was determined they met the criteria for the study (self-identified two-spirit women) they were then selected for an interview. The remaining participant was referred by the first participant and showed a 57 great deal of enthusiasm and desire to participate in the study. Again, once it was determined that this individual met the criteria, she was also selected for an interview. One of the participants was known to the researcher and the other two were unknown. The women ranged in their ages from 23-63 years old and were from a variety of urban, rural and northern communities in Canada. Data collection. Data was collected from the participants by audio recording each interview as per the signed consent forms. The audio recording is a similar process to the now dated format of the tape recorder which provides less room for bias to enter. “The tape —the conscious and recorded interview eliminates a major source of interview bias unconscious selection on the part of the interviewer of the material to note down” (Bucher, Fritz, & Quarantelli, 1 956, p. 360). To support the recording, notes were gathered during the interviews; however, this was kept to a minimum to ensure full attention was given to the participant. The recordings also allowed me to keep the focus on the dialogue and to be cognizant of any non-verbal communications that were taking place. Questions to guide each interview process are attached at Appendix C, D, and E. It is important to note that these questions are merely meant as a guide for the interview, but are not necessarily meant to be asked for a specific response. This is consistent with what Seidman (1998) suggests in in-depth interviewing, stating; In-depth interviewing, however, is not designed to test hypotheses, gather answers to questions, or corroborate opinions. Rather, it is designed to ask participants to 58 reconstruct their experience and to explore their meaning. The questions most used in an in-depth interview follow from what the participant has said. (p. 76) This process created a level of comfort with participants as well as it allowed a more free- flowing dialogue to occur without it feeling that a script was being followed. As the participants began reconstructing (Seidman, 1 998, p. 76) their experiences, further questions were asked to explore and expand on what they had already offered. These questions helped frame the dyadic process, which was collaborative and discursive in nature. I found that there was a great deal of containment necessary because of my passion in this project. This had to be bracketed so the interview process could be enhanced without lending too many directives or leading statements. My ability to bracket and contain my personal feelings facilitated a fuller process to ensure the maximum richness was gained from the participant in their responses. Bracketing will be discussed further in the analysis section. After the interview, the audio files were immediately transcribed to establish a reasonable time frame for the second and third interviews. Participants were given an opportunity to review their transcribed interviews, to make changes, and to bring important areas to future discussions. Transcribed sessions, along with the audio files, were locked in a safe environment to ensure confidentiality was secured. The next section will lay out the steps that the transcriptions went through for a thorough thematic analysis. Ethical considerations. This study was conducted with human subjects on a topic area that is sensitive in nature. As such, Ethics Approval as per UNBC guidelines has been followed and an 59 application for submission was approved. Participants were given information regarding informed consent and were asked to sign a copy after it met with their approval. Again, participants were voluntary and not coerced. The options were listed clearly when the participant signed the consent form and all confidentiality has been strictly protected and maintained. Considering that the participants are Indigenous/Aboriginal, First Nations, or Metis, consultations have taken place with the respective local Political Territorial Organizations (PTO), Assembly of Manitoba Chiefs (AMC), Research Department, and Manitoba Metis Federation (MMF), Research Department. This consultation happened prior to the submission of the proposal to ensure adequate support and approval. AMC provided an email response (Appendix F) that the Health Information Research Governance Committee (HIRGC) was not necessary for the number of participants sought in this research. MMF provided a letter of support for this research to continue as well, which is attached at Appendix G. Thematic Analysis To analyze the data, a process was used as described by Hycner (1985) which includes a fifteen-step guideline that allows the data analysis progression “to be true to the phenomenon” (p. 280). The transcripts were examined closely using a thematic analysis which "involves the search for and identification of common threads that extend throughout an entire interview or set of interviews" (Morse & Field, 1995, p. 139). A process of note keeping was used, mostly to assist the researcher in bracketing and containment. These reflections are shared within the following stages which will bring about a deeper analysis and ensuring validity and reliability for this study. Field notes, 60 note taking, multiple reviews and deconstruction of the data and summarizing of the material will also be discussed in the following section as these were useful tools in drawing out the themes, and eventually the essence of the interviews. The fifteen steps described by Hycner (1985) are as follows (pp 280-294): 1 . Transcription; 2. Bracketing the phenomenological reduction; 3. Listening to the interview for a sense of the whole; 4. Delineating units of general meaning; 5. Delineating units of meaning relevant to the research question; 6. Training independent judges to verify the units of relevant meaning; 7. Eliminating redundancies; 8. Clustering units of relevant meaning; 9. Determining Themes from clusters of meaning; 10. Writing a summary for each individual interview; 11. Return to the participant with the summary and themes; 12. Modifying themes and summary [from participant input]; 13. Identifying general and unique themes for all the interviews; 14. Contextualization of themes; and 15. Composite summary. 1. Transcription Once the interview data was collected, the recordings were transcribed within 2448 hours. The transcription process included word-for-word “literal statements and as much as possible noting significant non-verbal and para-linguistic communications” (Hycner, 1985, p. 280). Literal transcriptions along with the para-linguistic communications provide a deeper layer of the thoughtful processes that the participant goes through in the interview. I noted many of these outward actions during the interviews which helped gauge timing, pace, repeating of the question or reframing if necessary. As such, the literal transcriptions show one aspect, while non-verbal interactions demonstrate another. Each transcription was given to the participant to make any corrections and changes and was then returned to the researcher for next steps. The requested changes were made and a margin for writing notes was provided on the right side of the page to be used during the data analysis note taking phase. Kirby and McKenna ( 1 989) also suggest that "It is important to write down your reflections immediately after an interview or data gathering experience (original bold)" (p. 124) so that thoughts, ideas, and in-themoment experiences are not lost. Field notes were written before, during and after the interviews were conducted. These will be discussed more fully along with bracketing. 2. Bracketing the Phenomenological Reduction Bracketing is not a one-time event in the course of data analysis; it is a continuous process with every question asked, and every response provided. I used two primary approaches to achieve a level of containment so any insider information could remain separate from the data that I was collecting. The first approach was to interview myself, using the same questions, to walk through the interviews and answer them as if I was the one being interviewed. The second approach was through note taking during the research process as mentioned earlier. 62 In terms of my personal interview, I found particular challenges in answering some questions. There were some questions that I found difficult to answer as I really did not think about articulating these things prior to this interview. For example, as I attempted to articulate the differences in how I perceive myself compared to how I present myself, I found this challenging. This brought a layer of insight into the challenges on how to describe my personal changes of perception and presentation within distinct environments. This was captured in my notes and brought attention that this may also create challenges for the participants as well. Another insight that was revealed, was that it opened me up to be prepared for silences, pondering, further questions, time to be considerate and to not get offended and start rushing the situation if one of the participants was also challenged by the same questions. This is where I found myself being more prepared to have a dyadic relationship and dialogue with the participant to move through the questions if and when this was encountered with them. This was a good reminder to be patient during this process and be more cognizant of the non-verbal communications around the silences and any bodily gestures that were taking place. Note-taking gave me an opportunity to highlight these gestures as well. Notes written prior to interviews included mostly my own thoughts to ensure that my approach was not coming across like a script or reading, but as well to ensure that I would not be leading the participant in any way. I knew these risks were present in some types of qualitative studies, so my goal was to be as transparent as possible so as not to compromise the validity of this study. 63 The notes written during the interview process were especially critical in noting the participant’s emotions, silences, sarcasm, laughter and other gestures. Campbell (2005) suggests this “inarticulate prosody, which refers to the use of certain para- linguistic elements such as grunts and sights to embellish discourse, is a reliable carrier of affective information, signaling to the listener the state-of-mind and attitudes of the speaker” (p. 1 14). These elements were particularly helpful in pointing out the importance of what was being said in the conversation particularly where the intonation was not clearly audible in the recordings. Bracketing was a topic of conversation that I was able to discuss with one of my committee co-chairs early in the process after just a couple interviews were completed. This was a check and measure point in order to ensure that I was practicing thorough containment of this dyadic communication style, as 1 sometimes questioned my approach, whether I was saying too much or perhaps not enough. The discussion around bracketing and self-containment also strengthened the validity of my approach within this research. “In phenomenological research, bracketing, which is incorporated into intentional focusing on the experience, is one factor that is central to the rigor of the study” (Laverty, 2003, p. 31). The remaining steps support this as well as highlight the necessary reliability within this process. 3. Listening to the Interview for a Sense of the Whole As a next step, I sat with the audio recordings and followed along with the newly modified transcripts. Hycner (1985) recommends also having a journal available at this time to capture any emerging impressions from the review (p. 281). This stage allowed me to capture deeper moments of thoughtfulness through the pauses and silences that 64 were present. Additional verbal cues were also noted such as laughter, sarcastic intonation and more emotionally charged moments. Some of these para-linguistic levels were captured in my note-taking during the interview, but not all, so this was an optimal opportunity to review. The replaying of the audio with the transcripts brought those non¬ verbal moments to light. 4. Delineating Units of General Meaning Again, upon the advice of my committee co-chair, I began going through the data right away and starting to capture the ideas that were beginning to emerge. During this stage, these actions are “a process of getting at the essence of the meaning expressed in a word, phrase, sentence, paragraph or significant non-verbal communication” (Hycner, 1985, p. 282). I began to extract certain uses of words and descriptors (Moerer-Urdahl & Creswell, 2004) that were specific to each participant and wrote these in the margin to the right of the transcript. According to Hycner (1985), the goal here is to define the “discrete units of general meaning” (p. 282) that may or may not yet be defined as “essential, contextual, or tangential” (p. 282) to the phenomenon. For example, as the participants began to describe their identity, I wrote the words they used in the side margin as a unit of general meaning. These were left at that stage until I could move forward to ascertain the meaning they ascribed in additional interviews. Further, the essence could not be articulated until much later as well. 5. Delineating Units of Meaning Relevant to the Research Question Stage four was a time consuming, careful process and required in-depth extraction of the specific units of general meaning. Each piece that was extracted in stage four, was then put under a further analytical lens in step five, as to whether it applied to the 65 individual sub-questions or the overall research question. Each unit of meaning was reviewed and careful consideration was made to determine if it indeed was relevant to a particular question. The flexibility at this stage was important as any ambiguity or uncertainty had to be doubly questioned for relevancy. A Hycner (1985) notes, “[i]t is always much better to ‘err’ on the safe side and include it” (p. 284) if there is any chance that the units may be deemed relevant at a later time. As a result, a broad perspective was taken to include more, rather than less at this phase. Items were eventually merged with other areas as this analytical process unfolded. This was understood more at step seven. 6. Training Independent Judges to Verify the Units of Relevant Meaning For this step, Hycner (1985) recommends “to train other researchers to independently carry out the above procedures in order to verify the present findings” (p. 286). Unfortunately, the nature of this project and the ethical processes did not allow for external reviewers to review any of the raw data. To compensate, another meeting was established with my committee co-chair to ensure I was following a rigorous process in my analysis. Transcripts’ excerpts stripped of identifying information were sent to my committee co-chairs for one type verification check. The data and evidence was shared face-to-face with one of the committee co-chairs as I demonstrated each step of the process. Discussions at this point were to validate the findings and the items that were emerging as relevant units for the project. My goal was to ensure that my process remained systematic within the parameters of the phenomenological approach; with this, the ‘verification’ could then be demonstrated through replication of the study at a later date. 7. Eliminating Redundancies 66 Redundancies were detected in numerous areas. This was an in-depth interview process involving three interviews with each participant. Some redundancies were detected going from one interview to the second and again to the third. The nature of this project actually encouraged some of these redundancies as the intent was to ‘make meaning’ from the context of the first, to the second and to the final interview. As such, the focus became more on the in-depth meanings that referred to the contexts and identified a place of discovery of new, emerging highlights instead. This is an area where the researcher needs to be cautious so that any redundancies eliminated do not change the context of the relevant meaning (Hycner, 1985, p. 287). As discussed earlier, more information was captured in the beginning stages so that it could be reviewed adequately and appropriately for relevancy. 8. Clustering Units of Relevant Meaning This stage involved grouping the identified classifications together. I uncovered challenges in this area with some units of meaning that fit into two separate categories. This is consistent with what has been identified in the literature, that slotting points into multiple categories is acceptable as is having crossover and overlap in the clustering in the end results (Hycner, 1985, p. 290). Some crossover is still present so that any relevant context is not lost and the integrity of the data is not compromised. To follow a due diligence process, this was again discussed with members of the committee as part of a verification check on methodological rigor. 9. Determining Themes from Clusters of Meaning 67 As the process continued, multiple clusters of meaning were extracted from the data. The data had to be reviewed a number of times where each review uncovered additional clusters of information. Some of these clusters originally appeared to be their own entity but were eventually merged with other categories as the meanings were analyzed. These categories were then captured as themes. “A theme is a thread of meaning that penetrates text parts, either all or just a few. It is seen as conveying an essential meaning of lived experience” (Lindseth & Norberg, 2004, p. 149). This is the positioning where we start to move through what was said, to the underlying statements, feelings and allusions of how it was said and begin to decontextualize (Lindseth & Norberg, 2004, p. 1 50) the clusters of meaning. Initial thematic areas outlined approximately 56 different clusters. After numerous reviews, these were further reduced to 30 larger clusters. This seemed to be the place where the analysis was not uncovering anything new. From here, a Relational Model (Cross, et al., 2000) resembling a medicine wheel divided into four quadrants was used to categorize the themes. 10. Writing a Summary for Each Individual Interview To protect the confidentiality of participants, this step was modified. Summarizing each interview can be a useful tool to move forward within this guideline; however, the nature of the three-stage interviewing presents a unique challenge as aspects of the participants’ stories could easily be pieced together. As a result, the findings and statements are not attributed because of confidentiality. The goal of this step . . gives a sense of the whole as well as providing the context for the emergence of the themes” (Hycner, 1985, p. 291). The way the findings are described within the model will 68 provide a sense of the whole instead. This minimizes the risk of any one participant becoming exposed through recognizable pieces of their story. Preserving the integrity of this confidentiality is key in the success of this project. Confidentiality then becomes the priority so experiences can be articulated, but are done so in the greatest respect possible. In exchange for the summary, the quotes were extricated from each interview and were then sent to the participants so 1 could provide them with feedback on the process. As stressed by Giorgi (2010) this is viewed more as a check-in to discuss with the participant on the progress of the data to date. The data, or the description, cannot be revised at this stage so it is clearly not a step in validation by the participants (Giorgi, 2010). From the three participants, 1 was only able to reconnect with two of them; one participant could not be reached through the contact information they had previously provided. 11 . Return to the Participant with the Summary and Themes: Conducting a Second Interview Face validity for the transcriptions were built in along the way with the in-depth interview process outlined by Seidman (1998) discussed in step one. According to Hycner (1985) this stage is designed for the participants to offer their approval of the work that has been captured in the analysis process. As discussed in the previous step, this is not a step in validating the information, but is more so a respectful consideration to provide the participant with a progress update around the themes that emerged from steps one through ten. Participants were given an opportunity to provide feedback before and after each interview. This is different than the summary description mentioned at step 10. 69 12. Modifying Themes and Summary This stage is an opportunity to make those changes so the final rendition is a meaningful analysis and account of the participants’ lived experience. This step was to ensure that a systematic process was being followed so that the phenomenological approach maintained integrity as a scientific research practice. There was no modification to the themes at this point, but there was movement and change as the essences emerged and were categorized within the model used. This was a back and forth process to get at the underlying meanings and to ensure they were stated as such. 13. Identifying General and Unique Themes for All the Interviews Similarities emerged quite quickly from interview to interview. This was captured in my note taking phases as well as through the analysis of the transcripts. Some unique themes were not easily exposed until I had gone through the data a number of times, but for the most part, these emerged as stories that were captured within specified quadrants. These stories and themes are summarized more fully in the Findings section. 14. Contextualization of Themes Hycner (1985) suggests “it is often helpful to place these themes back within the overall contexts or horizons from which these themes emerged” (p. 293). This stage of analysis was also built into the in-depth interviewing process, as participants had an entire interview focused on their individual contexts and experiences. With such a unique approach to the multiple interview process, participants’ context was substantially enriched. Re-joining these themes was critical to ensure the experience of participants is 70 clearly understood within this context. This has enhanced the essence of meaningfulness for each woman’s identity. 15. Composite Summary As a final stage, the composite summary is really what this thesis is all about. The focus has been to discover the clusters and explore further opportunities to merge these into themes capturing the essence of the phenomenon. To summarize this work, the composite summary is explained in the form of an integrated model/wheel previously identified by Cross and colleagues (2000). The integrated approach provides the overarching essences of these women’s stories. Limitations. There are several important limitations that can potentially arise with this research. First, the research topic is a sensitive area and encountered some very personal and emotional areas for the women to discuss. Women were asked to identify a support person on their consent form in the event that the topic became too challenging for them. Although many sensitive areas were touched on during the interviews, all the participants willingly continued with no struggles or reported impacts. This was confirmed before and after each interview was conducted and upon review of the transcribed material. Another potential limitation was the three-stage interview. I was cautious about having such a lengthy interview process as I was concerned this might deter women from wanting to participate. The collaborative commitment was pivotal on both the part of the participant and the researcher to follow through the three stages to maintain and support scheduling and ensure there was a great deal of flexibility. 71 As discussed previously, another limitation was that of an insider, or the researcher as the researched. Bracketing and containment was critical to ensure the participants’ phenomena would emerge. The process of bracketing described in this research allowed a more fluid process for the interviewing. I was also committed to accurate and consistent note taking throughout the life of this project to minimize any influence on the data collection and analysis. A final limitation is the smallness of the community and the method being used to obtain the sample. Anonymity was assured prior to participating in the study. I made additional efforts by providing flexibility through the re-telling of the participants’ stories and the use of quotes throughout this thesis. Instead of providing summaries of each interview as described in step ten of the analysis process (steps described next), this was modified to ensure optimal safety and security of the participants’ information and to ensure confidentiality. Additional efforts were made throughout the process to list the quotes as coming from one of the participants so the information could not be woven back together to identify anyone. This confidentiality was strictly protected and maintained throughout the entire process with all data locked in a personal cabinet, in a locked office in my home. If a participant does not wish to have the audio files and transcriptions returned, they will remain stored in a locked cabinet in my home for a period of five years ending in September 2020. The participant will also be given an opportunity to have the files committed to a ceremony if they so choose (which usually means burned in a sacred fire). 72 Summary. The philosophical positioning of phenomenological data analysis can be a challenging and daunting task. The multiple layers of reviewing, deconstructing, analyzing and re-analyzing the data is time consuming and it is sometimes difficult to ascertain when the end has been reached. A process such as this as laid out by Hycner (1985) provides concrete steps that also have a fair degree of flexibility in how the steps are operationalized. Regardless, data must be transcribed both literally and with great consideration to include not only what was said, but also that which was not said —the non-verbal indicators that can often give emotional and contextual depth to the conversation. Additionally, sorting through the dialogue and extracting those essential units of meaning does not come with a single, one-time review of the data. Reading and re¬ reading allows the researcher to become friends with the data in a way that makes themes emerge, and then eventually, as the story completely unfolds, the essences also come to light. Determining themes are not about assumptions or guess work; this was a thoughtful and considerate process to bring respect and understanding to the dialogue and truly understand the truth and voice of the participant. General units of meaning have provided the grounding for each theme that emerged; each cluster of themes led to a conversion of the underlying essence of what, how, how deeply and in what context each statement was held by the participants. This is not a black and white, cause and effect process but is a progression toward understanding the phenomena from the perspective of the participants. As stated by Groenewald (2004), “[t]o arrive at certainty, anything outside immediate experience must be ignored, 73 and in this way the external world is reduced to the contents of personal consciousness. Realities are thus treated as pure ‘phenomena’ and the only absolute data from where to begin” (p. 4). It is these truths and realities then that have created the phenomena. 74 Chapter Four: Findings As identified in the literature review, I used a model from Cross, et al., (2000) to analyze and present the findings. I used the model to represent a medicine wheel that is divided into four quadrants of context, mind, body and spirit. Figure 1 shows the Complete Medicine Wheel with quadrants and essences combined. In the sections that follow, I present each of the quadrants to describe the findings that were obtained from these participants’ interviews. A final integrated model is presented to summarize the unified essences that emerged throughout this analysis. Context 75 The context of individual experiences is an essential component to understanding how participants negotiate their identities. Many influences highlight whether these are internal or external, and they can potentially have lasting effects on individuals. These effects range from balancing relationships, understanding the personal gains and losses associated with a new identity, balancing action and reaction and negotiating disclosure. These are described in the following essences; 1 . All My Relations; 2. Balancing Action and Reaction; and 3. Inner Negotiation (Figure 2). Seven themes were encapsulated under this quadrant including; history, colonization, privilege, respect, constructs, identity and friends and family. All of these combine to describe the participants’ context, which is vital to understanding the varying dynamics at play for the remainder of the quadrants. Figure 2. Contextual Essences Essence 1: All my relations. Participants discussed how family had a large impact in how they framed their own identity over time. This played out in a number of ways. These impacts resonated with the women ranging from their Indigenous identity to phases of disclosing their gender diversity and two-spiritedness. In terms of Indigenous identity, there were a few 76 dynamics that emerged. One participant expressed challenges of her family’s denial in talking about their cultural identity: It was like a subtext, it wasn’t something that was really talked about. ... So, there was this texture of oppression and hiding I suppose. You know in my early years, in fact until I went to university and university actually really helped me contextualize a lot of things that were going on. Although this individual understood some aspects of her family of origin, it did not become a complete picture until she attended post-secondary education. This same sentiment was shared by another participant who did not have close ties with her family, but also discovered more about her Indigenous identity within the education system. She shared: You would be the only brown person in the classroom but as the generation went on then there would be more brown people and so now I just learn from them. .. what they do in their culture or what they do in their family unit. ... I would be wanting to integrate into their family and I would try and live their life and try to see what a native family is all about. I got a lot of experiences being brown through other families not just history books, but that’s like the only time I was able to see [my culture]. This lack of familial acknowledgement was understood as being a direct result of the colonization and was attached to the shame and silence that these families experienced. Another participant described her emotional struggles with her Metis identity: 77 A big part of that was having grown up around some toxic shame. [The shame] certainly had an effect on my identity, on being M&is. I mean, you go back longer in history; there were times that it wasn't very popular to be even M6tis growing up. So if you could pass with your skin, you just kept your mouth shut about being a Native. Along with this disruption, there were extended difficulties that emerged around disclosing a two-spirit identity within the family. Prior learning from their families of origin had an impact on their ability and timing to disclose their two-spirit identity. Some of this was because of the predefined roles that families had and the expectations around this. One participant shared, “the only option available to me [was] to move on and move into adulthood. . . to get a boyfriend, to get married, have kids.” This same participant also continued: Heterosexuality made no sense at all to me, not in a way that 1 could live it. I tried to live it. I didn’t know that there were other alternatives really. The way you lived was you got married and you had a family. .. you were a good wife and you settled down and this is how life was. This predestined future created a mould with unachievable parameters for two of the women to disclose their gender diversity. Overall there is a sense of attachment to community as well as to family that impacted participants in various ways. These attachments are a large part of the context for these individuals. Cultural identity and gender identity are both influenced and shaped by the context of these women’s families. Although some stresses can be eased 78 by close connections, other impacts exist from other forces. Some of these forces will be explored in the next essence. Essence 2: Balancing action & reaction. Participants discussed how they were aware of their two-spirit identity long before disclosing it, or coming out to others. Social limitations became barriers to freedom for women to openly identify. The complex dynamics attached to identifying within the LGBT community makes society less responsive to the unique needs of the Two-spirit community. One participant stated her struggles in locating a place to find out more information. She said: I don’t know where to go. ... We don’t know anything more, because it’s like, there’s the traditional teaching and then you have the LGBTQ and questioning and all these titles and I am like why can’t you just fucking be yourself. You have a spirit; it’s genderless. Another participant explained that it wasn’t always their struggle, but was the struggle of others being imposed on them. As a masculine female, she became the target of violence. She explained one encounter she had on the street where she was beaten. The attacker told her “Oh you want to look like a boy, so we are going to treat you like a boy and you are going to get knocked the fuck out.” This participant also stated that she questioned her own motives for dressing like a boy, but in the end she stated that if she dressed like a girl the results would be just as bad. It [the violence] would get worse, because they would look at me as an Aboriginal woman and think that I am all vulnerable. . . and no one would care, because there 79 are 1 182 murdered and missing Aboriginal women; Just another fucking one down the drain. Unfortunately, this participant felt that she would be more vulnerable being seen as an Aboriginal woman than carrying on dressed as a male. Her sense was that societal perceptions were limiting and packed with their own assumptions that also limited her own positioning. An additional comment that emerged from one of the participants was relayed in this dynamic way: It’s not always easy to claim that space [freedom of being in a place as a twospirit], because claiming that space is often a challenge to us. It’s like a challenge to other people’s own understanding and their understandings of their context. One of the positive outcomes of these societal limitations and assumptions was that the women were able to navigate their individual contexts in a more fluid manner. The women discovered approaches to manage their actions and reactions. This is also seen in the final essence for context. Essence 3: Inner negotiation. Participants reported that there was a level of give and take after disclosing their identity that was not previously present. This essence is a look at the finer level of negotiation with the self. One participant mentioned the simplicity of this by stating, “[t]here are moments for all, like I speak up and there are moments that I don’t as well; Where, I don’t have the energy for it. You know; to take all of that on.” For this participant, disclosure of her two-spiritedness means there is a level of negotiation and 80 decision making required on basic levels of communication. Each moment can pose a challenge to confront or to not say anything at all. This similar place of negotiation was echoed by another participant that mentioned the incongruences as she willingly accepted other people’s terminology and assumptions around her partner and relationships. She had gone to an Elder (psychic card reader) that was providing her a reading about her future and automatically was assuming her partner was male. She stated: You know, there’s this moment, where here’s this lovely Elder lady, doing this lovely reading which is wonderful and she doesn’t have it quite right; and do I tell her? What do I say? Or do I just let it slide, because, I mean in that moment I’m not worried that she’s going to reject me or hurt me. It’s not about that. It’s about accuracy and being seen and being visible. This participant had to negotiate her visibility as she contemplated making the correction with the Elder, who had assumed that she was heterosexual; the negotiation had to run through a series of self-questioning to determine whether this was a situation worth the discussion. This same participant continued: Yeah I think it takes a lot of courage to be visible. It can take a lot of courage in whatever your context is, so, yeah I can think of all kinds of moments where you have to make a choice to out yourself or not out yourself. And it happens in the most innocuous kinds of ways. As described earlier, correcting or outing the self, regardless of whether it is done in a genuine, innocent fashion, can still come across as challenging the others’ beliefs. Another participant balanced her self-negotiation for the satisfaction of awareness. She 81 stated: I guess the most significant piece is that, again, coming back to locating my own sense of self, my own identity, my own cultural traditions, my own being Aboriginal, that there is such a strength and resiliency in our own understandings of our cultural sense and traditions and how crucial those are for me and there’s that piece about being two-spirited too. Overall there were strengths that emerged from this essence of balancing self¬ negotiation. Awareness was a key strength; this strength was demonstrated in how the women negotiated individual commentary and assumptions, as well as a confirmation of strength in their overarching journey. Summary. The essences captured under Context gave an indication that family and close connections were influential in the participants’ disclosures to identify as two-spirited. There were areas of higher stakes where the imminent risks to these individuals became clear. Participants indicated losses that were sometimes imposed by society as physical risks and continued invisibility when they compromise their silence. Additionally, there were historical and colonization issues imbedded in societal assumptions that fed into this decision-making process that further complicated actions and responses. There is a series of multiple crossroads that participants’ became familiar with as context was explored as a lived experience. A deeper level of self-negotiation will be demonstrated as the next essence is explored. Mind 82 Mind is about knowing and understanding. Knowing others and knowing the inner self included components of integration and inclusion. Within this, a great deal of negotiation was present: negotiating external assumptions (External Influences), negotiating with internal thoughts and feelings (Internal Resilience), and navigating entrance into a sense of community (Sense of Belonging) as seen in Figure 3. Additionally, there were six themes that emerged under mind, including: knowledge, just me, sense of belonging, space and location, awareness, and constructed ideals. Individuals’ thought processes and emotional states are very much part of the lived experience. Essence 1: External influences. External influences have played a role in the way each of the participants claimed their identities. One participant made continual attempts to rise to the societal standards and stereotypes she felt pressured into. “There would be days that I would force it. I would go like a week and dress like a girl, but then I couldn’t do it. It would be like ‘oh it’s so gross’.” She went on to describe her challenges of balancing her emotions and fitting them into the ascribed roles: 83 You think that is how a boy acts, or you think that is how a male is supposed to act. So that’s how you act. But then you also have like the compassion of the female. So, there is always that conflict, right? So then you feel shamed for feeling... that I’m too girly, that I’m not like manly enough. Some of the external influences were felt from the LGBT community itself. One participant described her relationships where her partner would attempt to place her into a specific role. In this case, the participant described this as a femme role. She said: So these non-Aboriginal women that I was in relationships with, well they kept trying. They wanted me to be a femme to their butch. You know, and then, I was like, but that’s not what 1 am. And they were like, “Oh you just don’t know you cutie pie. Look, just listen; you’re a femme through and through” And I’m like, I’m not, and. .. it just used to get my back up and it was just before I really understood what two-spirited really was, but it was just, like I didn’t know. 1 was just who I was, but I wasn’t that femme and I wasn’t that butch. In the gay community, I didn’t have an identity that felt honest, about who I was. In addition to the assumption regarding specific roles, there were also external assumptions around how gay people look or act. One participant made comments regarding her social network of tomboy peers (toms). She stated: I have like a lot of tom friends. .. and I wish that I could share this with them, so they can get it, because that’s a big part and that’s why their identity is fucked up because a lot of people are telling them, oh you’re a lesbian, no you’re this, no you’re that. And they don’t have time to think for themselves and feeling ashamed. 84 This is a place where the inner self must negotiate the language, assumptions and roles from external sources that are placed on her. On a similar note, one participant described how relationships are a better indicator of knowing someone instead of making blanket assumptions. She stated, “I don’t look particularly gay. . . who I am is not something that is readable. It is something that people get to know through relationships.” Two participants mentioned how external environments dictate the language and descriptors that they used as self-descriptors. One of the women stated: I went from knowing inside that I was gay to, you know, coming out and seeing myself as part of the two-spirit community. So using words that fit with the group I was with was part of that fitting in; part of being in that club. For the straight world it was gay or lesbian and with my Aboriginal community it was two-spirit; with older women like myself, lesbian or dyke or whatever. .. it was more the changes with who I was with and using the language of that particular group. This individual used the multiple labels that were partially contingent on her environments, but she also used labels to find a place of comfort to fit into these locations. External influences have played a major role in the lives of these participants. Influences have come in the form of perceptions, assumptions and parameters around language. While there were some struggles with forcing oneself into the existing standard, there was also an acknowledged awareness that the primary pressures were external. 85 Essence 2: Internal resilience. Another layer of negotiation experienced by participants involves returning to the core of the inner self. The external factors have been somewhat effective in enforcing presumptive attitudes, behaviours and language. This essence provides details around re¬ integrating the inner self; putting the individual back together. One participant describes her process, “that’s a piece of integration in itself. . . it’s joining those fractured dead pieces of ourselves and breathing life back into them and reclaiming [them].” Other sentiments that participants shared brought them back to a basic understanding of themselves without any qualifiers or labels. All the participants made related comments saying “I am just me.” In order to get back to the core, individuals recognized pieces of reconnection that they had to move through in order to feel that sense of wholeness. Another participant was adamant as she described her inner core. She responded: Fuck what society says, just be yourself, you know, just follow your spirit or whatever that means. ... You just got to listen to your spirit. And really listen to who your spirit is. I think like everyone’s spirit is genderless, but it is outside society that makes us who we are, but I think we are just genderless and the spirit doesn’t have a gender. Another individual commented around her struggles with returning to a drinking and drug-use lifestyle. She recognized how this interfered with her sense of wholeness and described how the imbalance affected her. She stated: 86 Because everything is intact right. .. when everything is intact, then I see straight and I am like, whole. I am one with my spirituality, my identity and shit like that, but then when one thing is off balance, I am all fucked up. Integrating aspects of learning and experiences was significant for this individual who expressed a place of comfort in being settled within her inner self. She stated: I do honestly like where I am in my life. And you know, my failures, my accomplishments; I’m pretty happy with who I am and so having the opportunity to kind of trace that journey. We always build understanding and depth through dialogue and through sharing with others. In a way it has helped me really locate — and recover and make this visible those struggles; the integration, that’s really helped me to see. A sense of homeostasis and stability has been gained by these participants. Their ability to recognize pivotal aspects in their journey has led to a state of constancy and solid positioning in being who they are as individuals. There was less negotiation detected in these collective responses that demonstrated an inner calmness and steadiness in their individual identities. This is further strengthened in the next essence of belonging. Essence 3: Sense of belonging. Individual identities have gradually taken shape as these women experienced the pressures of internal and external influences. This in turn has strengthened their ability to navigate through processes, language and predefined roles. One participant described that at times, people have to find multiple avenues and spaces in order to be at ease with belonging: 87 I think two-spirit people have to locate themselves in such a way; in a source of strength in several different spaces because, you know, your sense of belonging isn’t always going to come from our family and our community. Another woman spoke of her involvement in the two-spirit community as an outsider looking in. She felt that she was on the periphery of being in the club but could not be part of the actual membership until coming out. She explained: I knew I fit and that I belonged there but nobody else did because I wasn't out. Being out meant like that I could sort of claim that and it was great, because it kind of opened a door for me to explore further. As this individual described, the sense of belonging was two-fold where she was able to connect with a friend that was also coming out and the sense of belonging in terms of community membership. This knowing and understanding also came across as this woman described her experience, “what was super helpful was then having two-spirited friends, making friends with other two-spirited women, because that was a very small community; but that was a home.” Another participant described a similar dynamic by being accepted into traditional ceremony, feeling welcomed and feeling a sense of normalcy within her native community. She described this: I have certain people that I go to that are accepting wholly. They don’t judge; they don’t have lots of rules; they don’t have any rules. They are just accepting. They just say come, you know what I mean? And I will always go to sweat lodges like that. 88 Similarly, one of the other participants also found a level of comfort and belonging within her native community. She said: Sometimes we just share as a family or a community, but we are all there for that reason too; So we can just be together in a place where judgement is suspended and we are free from the judgment of the outside world — even if it is for just a short moment. Overall, the sense of belonging provided validation for the women and to reassure them that they were not alone. Both the native community and the two-spirit community provided these women with a sense of home and a sense of belonging. This essence can best be summarized by this quote: I see it now more as that’s other people’s stuff, you know. And my story is just as important as other people’s story. It’s not more important than anyone else’s story; but it’s as important as anyone else’s story. Summary. Many external influences must be balanced with the internal conflicts, dialogues, adaptations and concessions that take place within these essences. To have a sense of belonging, one must first have the ability to claim their space and be provided some freedom to define themselves. Constructed ideals are one thing, but to be forced to live within those parameters is constantly negotiated bit by bit, in each environment and within each individual. Awareness and understanding practically become a honed skillset that is geared to bridging that pathway to claim just a small fragment of space. Overall these women all demonstrated their unique strength of knowing their inner self in spite of 89 societal expectations. Further balance and reconciliation is discovered in the next quadrant. Body As we move forward, this quadrant includes another combination of both internal and external factors including gender and its varying embodiments. Additionally, external forces create deeply rooted infringements that are imbedded within society. These infringements shape the participants’ ability to be visible, impacting them in their coming out process and creating challenges in embracing two-spirit as just a sexual identity when it includes so much more. The nine themes that emerged within this quadrant include: embodiment, gender, racism, sexism, visibility, mirror, passing presentation, and transition. Because of the heavy focus on gender, this quadrant naturally contained the most themes. This quadrant also includes a lot of crossover with the other quadrants. Information reported in this quadrant is not repetitive; as such complementary findings will begin to emerge. The essences are outlined in Figure 4. I Outing the isms' & Homophobia I More Than a Word \Now You See Me; Now You Don’t Body Figure 4: Body Essences 90 Essence 1: Outing the ‘isms’& homophobia. Participants expressed feeling the effects of racism and sometimes sexism from others. As one woman began connecting with the two-spirit community, she witnessed other community members coming under critical attack. She said: I always say, an injury to one is an injury to all of us. And so if that’s how others in our community are being treated, it’s just not okay. There are injustices to it. And there is double oppression too, let me just say, by being two-spirit and being Aboriginal or Metis on top of it all as well. There is the racism piece here too. One of the women mentioned that most perpetrators of sexist acts came from men. She relayed one experience where men in uniform began grabbing at her because she was Indigenous. She stated: I just had a racism encounter being kicked out of [location] and I was like, you’re going to put your hands on an Aboriginal woman, and I was just like yelling it out loud at [location] and then they took their hands off me. When asked more about this experience, she mentioned, “I think it’s the gender typing a lot of the time because it is mostly males that do it. Women don’t do it; but males, they always do it because they are threatened.” This woman had been exposed to multiple racist challenges over time that generally came from men, and quite often, it was men in authority positions. In another situation, one of the women who identified as Metis recalled acts of racism from both non-Indigenous and Indigenous people. She recalled one of her situations that happened in the workplace and stated: 91 There’s a lot of racism of course for First Nations people, but there’s also a lot of racism that I felt from First Nations towards being M6tis. And it was said to me. . . I really have no idea what it’s like to be Aboriginal and so I don’t have any business talking about anything to do with colonization or residential school, or any of it. That wasn’t really my place. So that was really hard, because it felt like I really questioned; what do 1 have the right to talk about, what does my experience mean; So you know, certainly recognizing that I am not First Nations, I have never lived on reserve, I didn’t have that experience; but saying those things to me was like erasing my family’s history. Another woman expressed challenges of raising the topic of two-spiritedness in an environment where there were racist behaviours. She stated: Do I feel comfortable with my sexuality and my identity? Yes; yes, I do. But on the other side of the spectrum, a lot of people are still racist and can I bring up that two-spiritedness? Can I bring up those teachings and feel comfortable with myself, then? No. As she identified the racism, she also knew that talking about other aspects of her identity would have to remain hidden. There was a story mentioned earlier where one of the women worked with a youth that committed suicide. She went on to say that she had been connected with this youth for about two years before his death. She described this situation: I heard that [youth’s name] had died and that he had committed suicide and he had hung himself. And you know what happened at his school; he was just the target of incredible harassment. You know they would comer him in the 92 bathroom. They would throw full pop cans at his head when he was walking; like it was horrific for him. ... He was such a phenomenal young man that I wish that he hadn’t died. I wish that he hadn’t felt that lost. But I understood how he could. The death of the youth raised questions with this participant around her own visibility and the importance of having supports. She identified, “I know that there are relatively so few of us and I know how important it is to have a mirror and to have reflections of yourself around you, in your friends, in your community.” This dialogue provided the participant with some very deep reflections around visibility that could potentially lessen the impact of homophobia. Homophobia also acts as a deterrent for some people. This woman reflected on how homophobia kept her in a place of fear around travelling. She said: I am at times reluctant to go places. ... This was a new awareness after I came out; things that could potentially be dangerous because of who I am, because of my identity and because of who I identify as. And even more so for my partner and many, many other of my friends in the GLBT and two-spirit community that don’t have that ability to pass. At times the external forces such as this become too heavy and burdensome for people to carry. As a result, they stay in a protective place, whether it is emotionally, mentally or physically. The sense of rejection that these women felt from the homophobic responses was at time overwhelming and devastating. It made these women question their own safety and protection, as well as their own visibility when it comes to providing support and mentoring for others. Homophobia is felt in mainstream society as well as in the 93 Indigenous community. When it happens in the Indigenous community, it can make a double impact in both culture and two-spirit identity. Essence 2: More than a word. Noteworthy representations emerged from the women’s stories as we explored the meaningfulness of two-spirit. There was general consensus that this label stood for much more than sexual diversity, but also encompassed a range of gifts and interconnectivity that often accompanied two-spiritedness. One woman stated, “it’s an ongoing process about finding the balance within yourself and finding your spirit, and staying connected to spirit, to community, to traditions, to land, to the medicines and all the pieces, the things that two-spirit people embody.” This next participant described a piece of the traditional spiritual aspects mentioning the gifts attached to being a shaman. It's the embodiment of both the male, the very balanced masculine and female, but it goes deeper into the spiritual and shamanistic places where it is said the true two-spirits existed, to have embraced those pieces, those qualities and roles. Ongoing discussion brought out another poignant statement reflecting some of the lost and stolen traditions. Again, it is the lack of stories, of testimony, of written material. And because there is that gap, it tells me that it’s lost, or that it’s really protected; and if it is protected, I want to know where that is. I want to find that; like in the archives in Manitoba, and the archives of Canada. The government still holds families sacred bundles and I am sure that those bundles must have the families’ stories. There 94 has to be histories of the two-spirits there or somewhere, you know, the connections, clues around families’ histories. This participant pointed out the pieces of knowledge that were taken that may contain linkages back to the missing pieces of traditions and stories attached to two-spirit people. The participant also mentioned in cases where the traditional information is protected by communities, it is still a struggle to locate it. At any rate, this participant shows a real desire to find it. The reflections were also consistent in how two-spirit is synonymous with being gifted. This woman stated: They say that traditionally two-spirit were often like the medicine people and were the important people in our community and like you know. ... It gives us a voice that is uniquely our own voice; but it’s such an important voice. Another woman stated that the Indigenous recognition of her presentation as a tom supported her in positive ways. She said, “It [the two-spirit identity] makes me feel empowered and it makes me feel like I could do a lot of things.” This woman felt strengthened as she described her attachment to the two-spirit identity and that it gave her the confidence to do so much more. There is an overall sense that the women’s interviews associated connections to spirit, to land, and to community as some of the intricate layers that demonstrate that twospirit is more than just a descriptor. These views also move the women toward presenting outwardly and becoming more visible as is demonstrated in the next essence. 95 Essence 3: Now you see me; now you don’t Participants expressed a range of comments around visibility and invisibility. One woman spoke of how stories of two-spirit women are quite limited. She said, “[i]t's mystical in a lot of ways because, the more 1 look at two-spirit information and really, the more I read about it kind of becomes quite sparse or scarce in terms of its richness in its history [for women].” Another participant’s comment related to the invisibility in written materials suggested something similar, “we have gotten to know a lot more about the men, but I want to know about the women, I want to know their stories and what it was like for them.” Each statement brings awareness that knowledge, stories and teachings around two-spirit women remain invisible. In another context, vocalization about identity assisted two-spirit people in becoming visible; whereas remaining silent, kept two-spirit people invisible. Although some levels of negotiation were explored in the Mind quadrant; in this quadrant, it went deeper than negotiating discussions around speaking or remaining silent. Balancing the position of visibility with invisibility placed a risk of perpetuating the status quo which the women recognized as a challenge. One woman stated: — In not challenging or in not making the self —visible, is that it allows it perpetuates [the violence]. Silence is complicity in a way. So not speaking out is like being complicit in the big grand narrative which is like being white and being heterosexual and being mainstream. It is the norm and that is all that’s okay. Another woman echoed these same challenges and how being vocal is a support to other two-spirit community members. She mentioned, “[b]y being visible, then you make it okay for your brothers and sisters. . . that are experiencing similar things.” In one 96 circumstance, it is about creating a voice within the mainstream society, and in the other it is about paving the way for others. For each, the essence speaks to the voice leading the way for visibility. In another case, one woman shared a story that impacted her deeply. She had worked with a gay youth many years ago who ended up committing suicide. She expressed her regret by saying, “I somehow felt, that had I been more visible in my own identity, and maybe then that it might have had more of an impact.” This story will be revisited later in the next essence as well; however, the impact for this woman during the interview gave her a strong rationale to be more visible in the future. The next participant struggled at finding a mirror or any similar reflections that she could relate to within the community that matched her identity. In her first experience, she described meeting a feminine woman that provided her with a reflection that she could suddenly relate to and understand. She explained: I wasn’t butch; I wasn’t a femme, and those were the only paradigms of understanding of what I had right. So all of the gay women I knew were pretty butch and, then I was, I signed up for this workshop and in walks this woman, and here was this super feminine, beautiful, super feminine woman who described herself as a lesbian and I mean, this seems probably so silly, but I never had actually seen a feminine gay woman. In this situation, this woman was challenged to find a similar reflection to her within the LGBT community and was then surprised by seeing a feminine gay woman for the first time. 97 Visibility can take on a variety of modes; whether it is through vocalizing, being visible in body or by recognizing those reflections and mirrors within society. Invisibility can lead to perpetuating ongoing challenges, while visibility has the potential to present positive mirrors and role modelling. These women recognize the absence of women within stories and teachings and how this has greater impacts within society. It is also apparent that these women recognize their own visibility as being pivotal in creating positive changes overall. Summary. These women expressed their thoughts on how the outside world has its perceptions deeply rooted in a racist and often sexist lens that creates multiple impacts in their lives. The women described layers of embodiment that are contained in two- spiritedness, including a balance of male and female spirituality, gifts and shamanistic traits. In these experiences, the women had to balance these challenges through disclosing their identity and becoming more visible. Spirit The final quadrant is that of spirit. Spirit can be viewed as a bit of a nebulous concept when attempting to categorize particular themes; however, given the nature of the layers involved, spirit encapsulates the very essence of each individual participant. This quadrant contained eight themes including: medicine, teachings, spirituality, acceptance, protection, preservation, rejection and homophobia. Each of these elements has had profound impact on the participants’ lived experiences. The essences identified within this quadrant are found at Figure 5. 98 Figure 5: Spirit Essences Essence 1: Portal of teachings. Exploration of two-spirit identity raises awareness of both an individual’s cultural background as well as their sexual and gender distinctiveness. Embracing cultural teachings seemed to coincide with women’s ownership and understanding of their two- spirit identity. Closeness to culture, people and ceremony were mentioned by this woman: I think I am certainly closer to ceremonies and closer to other two-spirit people who practice these ceremonies and that is who I want to gather with as my community, that is my community, my people, my tribe and my people. So I feel really close to this [identity]. There was also a sense of learning that was gained within the community network. As everyone gathers and comes together, each individual brings a bit of that traditional knowledge to the circle and everyone partakes in the sharing and learning. This woman identified this knowledge as medicine and described it this way: 99 Everyone has a piece to the puzzle and when you bring that and when you come together, it all starts to make sense. And I think that is part of the two-spirit medicine. It is a part of that [medicine] that happens; there is a magic and a strong medicine, a power and energy of something very different and unless you are tuned into that or are imbedded and really part of it, it is not something you would know or recognize. It is not something that is in the everyday culture, or even in the everyday Aboriginal cultures. That's something very different to the two-spirits. Women who embraced their identity and who were able to connect to the two-spirit community shared positive sentiments. One woman stated: “It empowered me. Once I knew about the teachings it really grounded me.” Another participant mentioned: It has helped me to seek out more pieces that might be missing or those pieces of our traditions that are missing. It’s enabled me to find my teachings, to seek out people who have those teachings; those two-spirit teachings, stories and the twospirit medicines. Although this is the positivity that these individuals feel within the two-spirit community, mainstream community is a different story. Some cultural practices can be very restricting and are not welcoming or accepting of two-spirit people. There is also closed-mindedness around any discussions that two-spirited people were gifted medicine people or shamans. One woman felt particular tensions around attending ceremony and the structure in how it was handled. She stated: I feel tension around cultural traditions, especially ceremony, because, you know there are Elders who tell us, you know, these are traditionally the way we have 100 done these ceremonies. This is the way it looks. This is the way it is, and some Elders are really resistant to new ceremony. But, like, ceremony was always being created to deal with emerging cultural and social issues, and issues within our own communities or settings or whatever. We created ceremonies to deal with things so it’s not like there is only seven sacred ceremonies, but there was always ceremony, life was ceremonial. Participants voiced a desire to know more within their culture, and more specifically around two-spirit ceremony. As the two-spirit community comes together, learning and understanding more, there is pushback on the existing ceremonies that are not a fit. One individual stated, “[t]o think that we can’t create ceremony to work with our contemporary reality is a problem.” Another participant mentioned, “[t]here needs to be something. So there needs to be more teachings. There needs to be more traditional teachings. There needs to be an action item.” The enthusiasm is apparent in the direction that these women want to take. Identifying as two-spirit has opened the door to cultural teachings and understandings. Attachment to two-spirit community has enhanced the teachings through collaborative sharing and engagement within the two-spirit community. Further support is uncovered in the next essence. Essence 2: Preservation of the sacred. This essence is similar to the previous description but also uncovers another layer of visibility that is directly attached to sacred teachings. There is a connection between two-spirit people being able to identify and being visible. Underlying this is the absence of two-spirit knowledge that would provide support for individuals to embrace their two- 101 spirit identity. One woman pointed to the lack of traditions and how this could be a place of disconnect. She stated, “[i]f we had those traditions and understandings really present and visible in our communities and in ourselves, maybe people would identify.” This same woman also went on to link visibility with an opportunity to create cultural aspects that are distinctly two-spirit. She said: I think being visible is also claiming our traditions; our culture; our ceremony, right. And so, yeah; what I would love to see is two-spirited people coming together and if we don’t have traditional two-spirited ceremonies, then it is time that we create them. It is time that we create our own place as a people; as a unique people within our own cultural diversity. Another woman mentioned the importance of teachings and how this created a sense of comfort with her two-spirit identity: “The teachings have grounded me.... I guess I can say that I am more comfortable saying that I’m two-spirited because now I know where that comes from.” She also made a comment in regard to participating in these interviews and how this helps to talk about the traditions and thus creates visibility. She said, “[t]his is why this work is important too, right. It’s important to bring those traditions, to make those traditions visible.” One of the clear entry points to create visibility is through bringing those teachings forward. Another woman shared a much different perspective. In this quote, she describes the teachings and knowledge as being so sacred, that it is not shared and not talked about. If you look at some of the deeper research on two-spirit people, you can see that they were revered as sacred beings. They were shamans and medicine people, and if you think about that, yeah, true medicine people don't say; they don't say 102 that that is who they are. They don't give their medicines away. They will hold [onto] them. If true two-spirits were those revered sacred sages, then that information was really protected back then and it was protected by those that held that knowledge. They wouldn't just give it away. This is a unique perspective in looking at how two-spirit teachings would have been preserved by the two-spirit shaman or medicine person. In order to keep it sacred, it had to remain invisible. Then when two-spirits gather, it is then that this medicine and preserved knowledge gets shared. This woman stated: It’s medicines of the heart and those visions that can be shared in a sacred ceremony. Some of two-spirits have teachings from their communities and from their families so sometimes these are talked about, especially when someone new comes. Things are shared about the knowledge. This is the medicine I am talking about and referring to. This sense as community becomes stronger as they gather together to share the bits of knowledge that each person holds. What also becomes apparent is that this perspective coincides with the ability to navigate through space and time undetected and invisible to the outside world, and even to themselves. Gatherings and ceremonies become an important place for two-spirits to share, but sometimes Elders or community leaders will not accept two-spirited people into ceremony. Although visibility was raised in the previous quadrant, visibility in this sense is directly related to preserving the knowledge, preserving the teachings and having the ability to keep two-spiritedness as a sacred aspect of community. As we look into the next essence, more of this will be discovered as women sought out teachings from 103 community Elders and knowledge keepers. Essence 3: Limited sacred teachings. Elders within the Indigenous community are often looked to for spiritual guidance, support, teachings and various other insights. Some limitations arose as these women sought out teachings and support within their circles. One woman shared her story where she was confiding in her friend who also happened to be a community Elder. She mentioned: An Elder that I worked with. ... He was a Cree-Metis Elder, and. .. I was rejected and I wasn’t rejected personally. It was almost in a way that was a bit condescending. In a way 1 felt like, he didn’t reject me in a way that he didn’t want anything to do with you; he was just like, you are just on the wrong path, that doesn’t exist in our community, that is just white man’s ways. We don’t have that in our community. And he is also a pipe carrier; he spent his whole life learning those traditions and being a cultural spiritual resource to our community, so this was devastating, you know, it was really devastating. This situation impacted her for a long time and brought the awareness that even people that are held in high-status positions are still not infallible and may not have the knowledge necessary to support two-spirit people. In a cultural sense, it is natural to seek out support from Elders and community leaders. While these women found support amongst other two-spirit community members, they were challenged in finding that same level of acknowledgement and support with Elders. Similar to the previous statement, this woman said: 104 So when I first started learning about two-spirited, it made sense. ... It resonated. Then I would then sort of talk to Elders and to people in the community and say, ‘what do you know about being two-spirited; what’s that like?’ And there was for the most part, it was, ‘No, we don’t have those traditions in our community. That’s gay. That’s lesbian. That’s not okay. That’s not cool.’ History has closed some of the doorways into knowledge. This woman reflected back on her experiences with the Elder, which then she also came to the realization that he too had been affected by colonization. Not everyone has had the opportunity to access the teachings in this way. This woman mentions how the traditions are still invisible and are still very difficult to locate. She said: I guess the saddest thing for me, is I don’t really know a single Elder who has those two-spirited traditions that can help me understand and locate that more culturally in what that meant. Like there has got to be special medicines for two- spirited people. There has got to be special ceremonies. How was that understood traditionally before colonization? I am so sad about the lack of visibility around those traditions. I am sure they are there in some places. But they are not places that I have accessed, that I have seen. And that to me is real; it is a real source of sorrow because we have to build our own stories over our own understanding over and over and over again without having a textual history or a ceremony. The desire to know more about the teachings is apparent. It is also clear that many Elders and locations where ceremonies are held do not have the acknowledgement of two-spirits or the teachings to support them. 105 The lived experience of spirit brings together the essences that have encompassed women’s understanding of the teachings and how this has opened up to them to learn more within the cultural spiritual context. Preserving this understanding is at the core for these women. What is also important, is the women begin to understand that some of the leaders and Elders who generally provide support and knowledge on community matters, may not hold the information necessary for two-spirit people to learn. Summary. These women have shared deep reflections in their stories that revealed spirit as an important part of their identity. Disclosing their identity provided them with a doorway into knowledge and teachings that they had not been exposed to previously. Underlying some of these aspects, is a layer of visibility where women were not sure if traditional information was truly gone or so well protected, that it could not be seen. Integrated Lived Experience Each of the quadrants is named with their corresponding themes and essences that have emerged. Instead of remaining disconnected, the Integrated Lived Experience (see Figure 6) is about bringing the quadrants back together as a full circle. Essences mentioned within this perspective are descriptions that encapsulate integrative components of their entire lived experience that were brought out by the participants. Although some of these are touched on in other quadrants, this integrated approach offers a more complete description of what the participants talked about. This perspective offers the final essences including; Re-Story the Story, Reconciling Identity, Shape Shifting Identity and Culture is Medicine. 106 Figure 6. Integrated Lived Experience Essence 1: Re-story the story. A quote from one of the women really opened up this collective essence and encapsulated so much of this work. “The world is not made up of atoms, it is made up of stories.” Looking at the struggles, challenges and highlights these women shared, there were some very poignant statements that resonated around these stories. Their examples came alive through these experiences, but one of the most interesting points was that the stories reshaped aspects of their journey. One woman recollected the story of the Elder and how she had managed to reframe it over time. She said: It really taught me the importance of relationships; the importance of trust in time. Like what some people may not understand now, like even Elders; Elders are people too. And so we know that is how colonization has pushed two-spiritedness underground, it has pushed that whole tradition underground and even some 107 Elders, like even our most you know, most wise ones, they don’t all have that knowledge. In another example, this woman explained how just having someone to talk to could have made all the difference. She said: How do you teach someone what that’s [two-spiritedness] all about. ... I wish somebody had been able to talk to me about being two-spirited and what that meant and help me understand that there may be some real important gifts, along with the challenges, that I could think about; that I could re-story; re-story what I was in a more positive light rather than, the story being I was just wrong, messed up, fucked up. Having an openness to discuss being two-spirited would have changed her story instead of having to go through the challenges that she faced. She had actually used the words re-story as a way to talk about changing the way things happened. The situation involving a youth that had committed suicide was also recalled to discuss a different pathway that could have made a difference. If he could just sit down with a wise person, Elder or someone, a healer and could talk through and talk story about being two-spirited. You know just talk story about it; just to talk story about what it means, and share our struggles, and share what helped and we build; we build toolkits of survival through that and as well as bonds and understanding and all those kinds of things and identity. By talking about what the person is going through, not only would it provide some support to them, but it would also provide an opportunity to create toolkits and supports for others. 108 Integration was another perspective that was provided by a participant. Moving from a fragmented life to one that was more integrated was one way for this participant to re-story her experiences. She stated: All of it was just layers of fragmentation and complexity that I had, that I couldn’t locate a cohesive narrative of myself, who I was, who I was about, where I was going, all these jagged fragments; so the integration, this is where I guess one of the challenges about being two-spirited is that there are lots of pieces to try to integrate, and they are not easily integrated. This participant expanded on her experience and pointed out all the aspects of who she is and that she now feels integrated. Speaking with others is a potential important step for some two-spirits to reshape or re-story their future. It is also important to look back on experiences that could open up as learning opportunities for others. Recognizing that after time, seeing personal aspects of individual identity as integrated is also another way to re-story the story. As the next essence is explored, the women note similarities in the identification of culture in their identity. Essence 2: Reconciling identity. Mainstream worldviews have been deeply ingrained in these women where their personal identity continually faces a negotiation process. This essence brings the concepts of ethnicity and sexuality into one lens for these individuals. Within this process, internal negotiation becomes actively engaged in aligning various aspects of identity. One participant noted the balance as well as the strength and bravery that are present. She stated: 109 In being who I am today, I haven’t had a bad life; but that doesn’t mean a really oppressed life doesn’t exist, because I do see this every day. .. especially in the two-spirit community because there is a double oppression being native and gay. But there is also a truth, a strength, and a resilience and there are virtues amongst our peoples that are to be revered. And there are acts of bravery that take place, just by virtue by being two-spirit and by far, I fit that identity. It fits me and I fit it. Another participant still found struggles with her Indigenous identity. She stated, — “I am comfortable with my gender. Yes, very but am I comfortable with the race part of it; No, not so much.” This individual also displayed a fair bit of fluidity in her accepted gender. She continued, saying: If the female washroom is all used up, I use the males, if the males is all used up I use the females; whatever the need is at the time is what I do. Whatever fits my need in that second then that is what it is; but there’s an underlying thing there; I feel more comfortable going into the male washroom than when I go into the female washroom. When I do go into the female washroom I make sure I have a female friend with me to tell them that I am a female, to tell them that I have tits on my chest so that I don’t go walking in there vulnerable and not having to not stick up for myself, but having someone so I don’t have all that anxiety or anything. The ability to transition in this way still created several areas of conflict for this individual. Although she typically presents as a male, she spoke deeply about the internal dialogue that she goes through to move through the world. 110 Another participant shared her deep struggles around balancing the emotional pieces of looking non-native. She stated: I had to reconcile my white skin with my, M&is blood and you know, kind of come to a place of seeing myself in two different worlds was kind of the same as being two-spirit; to have to reconcile this in myself and refit back into the straight world. One of the women recognized the heavy impacts of the historical trauma in her life. This woman sought out additional supports and knowledge to help her feel settled with her identity. She recognized the need for a deeper understanding as she was negotiating her inner self and her world views. There was also deep awareness around the additional knowledge that is necessary for all two-spirited people to navigate through these challenges. Essence 3: Shape shifting identity. The women spoke about their ability to balance their identity within their environments. Shape shifting can be described as a chameleon like quality of adaptation within an environment or a “supernatural capacity” (Hultkrantz, 1 997, p. 1 05) to change shape. These women expressed some circumstances where the need to blend into an environment was viewed as necessary. Some of these circumstances were also automatic responses on behalf of the women. One woman stated her malleability in this way: Depending on what the circumstances are around me or where I find myself, or what the needs are, in my community or in my family or whatever, you know, my response can be male or female, kind of depending on what is called for. Ill Another woman presented her adaptation with discretion especially when her partner was involved. She stated: Certainly for myself on my own, 1 would be very forward and basically who I am. But when I was with my partner, I would adapt and become much more reserved and introverted. You know, more discrete in presentation to the rest of the world and this wasn’t really because of me, though; this was because of her. Not because of what they would do to me, but what they would do to her so to protect her, I would shift my presentation. Adapting in this sense is more for the purpose of protection, but it essentially points to the need for this woman to modify her approach and presentation. The need to personally shape shift in specific environments or with certain individuals requires foresight and understanding. Another woman mentioned her shape shifting between her genders. She said: I have two sides. It’s weird. Sometimes it’s like a guy- that masculine, ‘I don’t give a shit about the world’, and just really solid, like a gangster. .. that will kill anyone. And then sometimes, on some days, I am like this fragile little girl that is walking down the street in high heels and there is two sides. Similarly, another of the women mentioned her movement between her genders based on what was required in the environment. She stated: These things, they just happen, they are understood later upon reflection. It’s not like. . . I’m going to be a man; I’m going to jump right into my male energy or whatever. It’s really understood much later under reflection and looking at the dynamics of what’s going on. So I see my being two-spirit is really having that 112 balance and also that lens, those perspectives. It’s not just that energy. It’s having a kind of wisdom attached to different ways of understanding the world or different ways of understanding a situation. Shape shifting in this sense is described as an understanding of the energy and wisdom that is needed within the environment and adapting the response accordingly. One participant had mentioned shape shifting as part of her process of coming to know her sexual identity. Connected to this was the Indigenous belief of the coyote trickster. She stated: Shape shifting; you know, I don’t necessarily think of that as a medicine per se, but it almost is. If I think about a metaphor or something that would closely describe it, I would describe it more like a trickster. In a way, I think we are more closely tied to trickster possibilities. Those disruptive, disrupting a norm that we have grown out. Along with shape shifting, passing and hiding were also used to describe ways of adapting to the environments. Passing seemed to be one approach to take advantage of the others’ perceptions and assumptions that they had about the participant. One woman stated: I didn't come out until much later in life and so, much of my life for the first forty plus years was deeply imbedded in a heterosexual world. It was a long time that I stayed in that. I hid there. That's how people came to know me was in that place and identity. But yet I knew who I was; others didn't but I did. From a place of knowing, this participant was still able to hide and not have to reveal any of her two-spirit identity to others. This participant also spoke about the back and forth 113 process that she went through depending on where she was and others that were with her. She also mentioned: [I was] in and gay, but still hiding in a straight world; it is still a back and forth process and it often depends on where I am as well. So this transition isn't cut and dried and 1 can still be hidden. This participant mentions her ability to move in and out of the two worlds that she calls the ‘in’ and the ‘out’. She also clearly suggests that that it is a fairly fluid process that she was able to manoeuvre within depending on the environments. Whether it is called shape shifting, passing or hiding, each participant described an ability to adapt within their environments. They managed this with fluidity within the environments, but also with knowledge of various gender skills that are required at specific times. There were some circumstances that focused around using hiding and passing as protection (also mentioned in the previous quadrant), but for the most part, the rationale was not always disclosed. In some cases, the shape shifting experience also gave the women opportunities to change the perception and story that was prevalent. This is noted in the next essence. Essence 4: Culture is medicine. These women showed an attachment to their culture, much of which had been strengthened since coming to learn of their two-spirit identity. There was some deep insight shared around their ability to connect with stories and traditional medicines. As one woman began to claim her two-spirit identity, she also found a way to connect with the medicines in ceremony. She said, “I always go back to ceremony. For me it’s about ceremony and that makes sense. It is where we get the visions and the medicines.” For 114 her, ceremony became the foundation for her to understand the teachings, the visions and the medicines. For another woman, she described her interpretation of medicine and how this manifests from different ceremonies. She stated: A medicine may be anything that helps us. I think we live in a context of an altered reality, so I think that some of the medicines might be tied to altered realities and whether that’s deep in our ceremonies, there’s certain ceremonies that can take us to an altered state, you know certainly like being in an intense sweat, or a Yuwipi ceremony, things like that, you know, the Sundance, you know those kinds of things like that are definitely altered reality places. As she identified the medicines act as a resource for support as well as moving through spiritual realms and altered realties. Another woman shared her strengthened attachment to her culture and the two- spirit community as well. What she described was an energy that surrounds the community and the connection she has within that. She stated: I am much more attached to my culture for sure and to my community too and to the two-spirits within this larger community as well. As small as it may be, it is still a rich place of the medicines and the energy. So these are some of the aspects that were really significant and the things, the teachings I have learned on the way as well that have really helped me on my journey. Another participant mentioned the energy around her cultural connection and the medicines. She said: 115 One of the aspects of being two-spirit there is a sense, you have a sense of things, you are tuned into that energy and notice things that other people don't. These were the medicines and the gifts. There was a knowing of things. So in some ways, it can be difficult for a two-spirit person but there are many that are very gifted and knowledgeable. For this woman, the energy is attached to the medicine; a way of knowing and a natural connection to being gifted and knowledgeable. In another situation, a participant talked about the medicine wheel as her place of feeling together and whole. “When I feel culturally whole; when my medicine wheel is good, then I identify as two-spirit because I feel good. But otherwise, I’m just gay.” She also identified that her two-spirit identity was very closely attached to her medicine wheel. When this connection is not there, she also resorts to mainstream definitions of sexual identity by being gay and not two-spirit. Overall, these participants recognized the connection between culture and their identity. This woman reflected on how some of that desire is still very much alive for her and the hope that it will eventually change. She stated: I guess, my real longing is to connect in a cultural way, in a medicine way. To be able to walk that medicine, to be able to understand our own medicine in who we are and to be able to honour that appropriately because that is a part of it too. It’s like we are missing a guidepost. It’s like we are missing those role models, we’re missing all of that in how to make the most [to] build on our own gifts. The ability to understand their cultural and traditional roots was pivotal in their growth and strengthened identity as two-spirit women. It was also an important piece for these 116 women to connect the medicines and teachings within their culture to who they are as women. Summary. The Integrated Lived Experience brings the quadrants back into sync and shines a light on four overarching areas; 1 . Re-story the story; 2. Reconciling Identity; 3. Shape Shifting Identity and 4. Culture is Medicine. All of these areas illuminated the participants’ abilities to shape shift, pass and hide or to adapt to particular circumstances. At times, the women used their ability to hide and pass for protection, but for the most part this ability was selective depending on the environment. As the women reflected on their stories, there was a realization of what was termed re-story, or to bring about a different layer of meaningfulness to their experiences. These women discussed situations that had impacted them, but had also shared a new perspective on what these stories meant. There was also some reflection on experiences that could have changed if the right circumstances provided opportunities to discuss and share stories. Reconciliation was a constant process for these women. At times, it was a result of societal imposition and the social constructs that these women had to move through to take and maintain a safe space. These women demonstrated a true resiliency around finding the necessary community supports. In spite of the various difficulties and challenges they faced, there was an emergence of strength that kept them moving forward. The medicine that was described was very much imbedded in culture. Similarly, the medicine is also imbedded in these women’s identities and the gifts that other two- 117 spirit people also share. It was recognized that the connection to culture and to the medicines strengthened the way these women felt about their two-spirit identity. Changing how things can be done came about through the re-storying process of the historical foundation imbedded in the current story. Learning how to reconcile personal approaches with family, community, Elders and society was part of transformation. In order to remain true to themselves, their partners and their communities, adaptation through selective visibility and shape shifting allowed them the freedom to move freely through societal barriers. To summarize, the women inherently — knew their medicine was within their culture however this was defined by each of them. The next chapter will bridge the findings of this research with the literature and discuss the results. 118 Chapter 5: Reflective Discussion Prelude to the Reflective Discussion The findings of this study show that women who identify as two-spirit show a deep and profound respect for all aspects of their being. They demonstrated a deep connection to their Indigeneity, culture and traditional beliefs, a deep connection to their outward gender expression, and a strong reliance on the two-spirit community overall. In further explanation of these findings, I will discuss three major points that came from this study. Before I delve into the discussion, I will present a brief review of the research practice and a summary of the analytical lens that led to the findings of this research. Through a descriptive phenomenological approach, this study identified 16 essences that emerged from interviews of two-spirit women. The essences were then captured within quadrants listed as context, mind, body and spirit. Underlying these essences, multiple themes resonated that led to a further unravelling of the consciousness for these women. As part of a holistic perspective, the quadrants were then integrated where broader complexities encapsulated the thoughts, emotive experiences, and meaningfulness of the participants lived experiences. Each of these areas had somewhat of a linkage to the literature, but there were still gaps present. Previous studies with two-spirit women were limited (Brown, 1997; Lang, 1998; Medicine, 2001) finding only a few relating to identity (Walters, et al., 2006; Wilson, 1996) and a few more relating to health (Fieland, et al., 2007; Lehavot, et al., 2009). Finding historical pathways of female gendered identities was troublesome; purposeful attempts to erase the two-spirit woman were multilayered. First was the social blindness from anthropological viewpoints that failed to recognize such variations of diversity. 119 Next came the attempts to erase Indigeneity through acts of colonization (Coates, 2008; Lawrence, 2003; Towle & Morgan, 2002). Another attack came to erase the Indigenous woman through the same tactics and imposed political powers (Gunn Allen, 1992; Keim & Townsend, 2006; Medicine, 2001). As the Euro-Christian values took hold, gendered variants succumbed in this devastating path to erasure (Le Duigou, 2000e). Through this erasure, the female gendered variant was virtually invisible and thus became the impetus for this research. This study addressed a gap within this research by looking at the following research question; does the term two-spirit enrich the lives of Aboriginal women and their identities? Two sub-questions surrounding the primary question included; 1. Do women who embrace this term come to understand their culture, traditions and world view in a deeper, more meaningful way —a move toward becoming visible? 2. Does this identity serve as a portal and entry point into a cultural worldview — a new paradigm, one that they had not been previously connected with, for these women? By exploring contemporary viewpoints through the eyes and lived experiences of these women, I came to answer the research question. The meaningfulness expressed by these two-spirit women also demonstrated a depth of respect and awareness surrounding some very critical viewpoints that will be covered in the following discussion. Reflection & Discussion Three overriding points of reflection came to the surface that will be discussed in this section. The first is identified as Strategic Invisibility where a combination of what 120 Goffinan (1969) noted as strategic interaction merged with the reality of two-spirit women’s invisibility. The second point of reflection focuses on Two-Spirit Oral Teachings where the power and the voice of the community has the ability to move through in spite of numerous societal barriers. The third and final point of reflection to be discussed is Two-Spirit Essentialism as a formally recognized and community-borne re-emergence of these women’s spiritual enlightenment. Each of these will reconnect the women’s meaningfulness to highlights within the literature. Strategic invisibility. There is an inherent nature in all of us that remains fluid as we enter into relationships, whether these are work, personal, business or within the communities in which we live and survive. As covered in the literature, the disclosure of our personal attributes are privy to another individual or group under what Goffinan ( 1 969) notes as “strategic interaction”; we choose what is safe or unsafe in these circumstances. Hiding or maintaining personal attributes as secrecy while still blending in with external groups is coined “passing” (Goffinan, 1959). Passing, as identified in the literature, showed some similarities to the descriptions as known as shape shifting from the essence of these women’s experiences. Shape shifting also showed some similarity to strategic interactions that were selective behaviours with the intent to protect and maneuver through society. What also emerged in this study is a combination of these factors of strategic interaction and passing; instead of passing, however, I have focused on the position of invisibility which is more closely aligned to that of shape shifting. The concept of strategic invisibility highlights the personal negotiation skills of each of these women and their ability to maneuver and navigate within their personal 121 circles. Some of these circles were described as being more unsafe than others, with even a level of risk involved if these women disclosed their two-spiritedness. Mainstream, and more recently some aspects of Indigenous societies have been fairly successful in running two-spirited people underground through various degrees of erasure, but these women demonstrated a reclamation through their ability to strategically position their invisibility. This level of invisibility that emerged during the study was named as shape shifting where these women notably stated they were empowered within their identity and ability to hide at will within their personal locations. In this sense, shape shifting was akin to the spiritual powers and medicines that are heard in stories of shamans and medicine keepers. These women also disclosed a level of empowerment that came with their ability to embrace the two-spirit identity. The empowerment took the shape of standing within their power in three ways; as being Indigenous, as being women and as being twospirited. What many individuals from the LGBT community name as coming out, Wilson (2008) powerfully reframed as “coming in”, creating a confidently poised framework for two-spirits in the fulfillment of their identity. All the colonizing ways of the past and the mal-effects of the “compounded colonization” (Balestrery, 2012) fall by the wayside with this sense of “empowered identity that integrates their sexuality, culture, gender and all other aspects of who they understand and know themselves to be” (Wilson, 2008, p. 197). This sense of empowerment showed to be very powerful as the women embraced their ability to maneuver and negotiate within their environments. There was a deep and profound amount of respect these women displayed over their two-spiritedness. One woman articulated her need to disconnect from her culture when she struggled with drugs and alcohol as she didn’t recognize her altered state as an 122 acceptable cultural position. Recognition of this internal incongruency was a decisive factor for her to shape shift away from her spiritual core as a layer of respect and self¬ preservation. This same level of respect was found through layers of negotiation that these women faced in their personal relationships. Internal and external factors continually arose to complicate the personal level of negotiation, but again, the women displayed an insular knowing that allowed them to move through disclosure or lack of disclosure. These women provided a general sense that they are exposed to external factors — in how their identity is described as well as being limited by these same issues whether it is through history, lack of traditional teachings or through acts of erasure. Learning about the two-spirit community and what the identity entails was a challenge because of the smallness of the community, but also because identity is such an individual process surrounded by internal factors and contextual circumstances. Negative perceptions that are attached to race are one thing, but there are also negative perceptions around gender and sexuality that influence individuals’ journey to disclose their identities. Regardless of these challenges, the women still displayed a strong attachment to the underlying meaning of the term two-spirit and a strengthened ability to negotiate amongst the mainstream presenting issues. This is where the gift of strategic invisibility and shape shifting provided these women with expertise in their management of these circumstances. The study revealed modes of responding and interacting that were beyond strategic. These modes were at times reported as “inherently natural” or fluid as the women could transition and shape shift between male and female assigned roles, ways of 123 being, and moving through various circumstances virtually undetected. In the end, invisibility is not the means to an end, nor is it just an effect of the “compounded colonization” (Balestrery, 2012) and its long-term influence. It is a strategy. It is a gift. It is also a medicine that has been refined by these women and used at will where circumstances demand it most. The depth of respect within this gift is as empowering as “coming in” (Wilson, 2008) and gives these women a strong sense of agency over disclosure in their lives. Two-spirit oral teachings. Connection to a two-spirit community brings about a positive degree of wellness, connectivity and a true sense of belonging. The power of coming together through community gatherings has the ability to “reverse isolation” (Meyer-Cook & Labelle, 2004) that may have been experienced in other settings. Community gatherings also open the door to a layer of communication and support that may not be achieved outside the two-spirit environments. One of the major findings that emerged in regard to this sense of community was the two-spirit oral teachings. Indigenous women facing coming out, or as stated earlier, coming in (Wilson, 2008) demonstrated a genuine curiosity about being two-spirited and its connection to the Indigenous community. The Elders that were leaned upon as supports for information seemed remiss of the traditional information these women were seeking. The challenges they faced with negative responses from Elders created doubt and intense feelings of devastation. Emotions such as this appeared to invalidate their Indigenous identity as well as their two-spirit identity. Further community reactions also intensified these emotions. “We have sometimes been accused of making up this diverse past in order to 124 feel good about ourselves” (Meyer-Cook & Labelle, 2004, p. 37). With a deep sense of the homophobic reactions, the women that viewed their community and these Elders as resources felt let down. The connection to Elders was initially thought to be a credible, viable resource for these two-spirit women, but unfortunately it turned out to be the opposite. A value was placed on the Elders and their knowledge when this has proven to be fallible. Some of this was identified as a result of colonization and its intergenerational effects (Cameron, 2005). What resonated from the study was that some Elders have also been impacted by colonization in ways that have impacted memory, tolerance, acceptance and awareness of the value of gendered variants within Indigenous communities. This creates a layer of protectionism where the women were unsure and at times unable to disclose their identity within their Indigenous communities. It also creates an element of strategic invisibility whereby the women begin to strategically determine personal safety according to their Indigenous community beliefs and whether genderedvariant beliefs are sanctioned by the leadership and Elders within their communities. The questioning, the doubt and the apparent lack of understanding drew the women closer to — two-spirit community members both as a place of safety and as a place of story. The two-spirit community proved to be a reliable resourceful support and provided a “collective identity in the struggle against racism, heterosexism, and internalized oppression” (Walters, et al., 2006, p. 133). Additionally, the two-spirit community brought stories and experiences together where they had not been shared before. Two-spirit oral teachings were a highlight in this research; each woman benefitted from the pieces that each person was able to bring to the community. Some 125 two-spirits had examples where two-spiritedness was an acceptable gift and medicine. Sharing this within the two-spirit community offered validation of the women’s identities as well as restoring their faith in the traditions and culture. Two-spirit essentialism. The methodology and methods used with this research were specifically chosen to ensure participants offered their individual context. As previously mentioned, some phenomenological styles integrate the researcher as coparticipants from the outset — including providing the terminology that builds the context (Laverty, 2003). The nature of this study made it necessary for the participants themselves to describe their individual contexts, using their own terminology and then providing the descriptions that formulated those contexts (Seidman, 1998). What emerged was that each participant described themselves as two-spirit women, however, how they described this within their lives was not with one unified definition. The women interviewed described two common unifying attributes of being two- spirit; being Indigenous as well as being a member of the LGBT community. These are consistent attributes that have been identified in the literature (Alaers, 2010; Walters, et al., 2006; Wilson, 1996). Each woman identified as being Indigenous, but they also used specific identifiers such as Metis, Native, Cree, Anishinabe and Aboriginal. Two of the women were able to pass (Goffrnan, 1963) more easily in non-Indigenous circles, but they still identified as being Indigenous. It is important to note that their ability to pass was not used as a point of deception from their side, but was more of a perception of others. What this demonstrated was that their complexion, or non-Indigenous attributes, allowed them to pass in the social criteria established by the environment. What is 126 exposed here is the historical underpinnings of the effects of erasure and imposed invisibility that make many people blind to Indigenous diversity. Culture also emerged to be a very important element for these women. It was identified as a medicine; but likewise, medicine was synchronous to their understanding of their Indigenous identity and any traditions they understood to be part of their world view. Medicines were discussed throughout these women’s stories which were identified as both gifts (talents) and teachings (knowledge of Indigenous ways). Teachings of the traditions were respectfully understood as being a necessary part of their Indigenous identity; in order to be congruent with their indigeneity, they would need the spiritual foundation and practices to complement that. The challenge in this is how culture and traditions are defined and by whom, and whether these teachings are authentic or metamorphosed renditions of a learned discourse. One of the biggest conundrums I faced while going through the analysis was noting that some of the participants learned much of their traditional understanding from Elders. Yet, when it came to asking Elders about two-spirit people, some of these women experienced outright rejection and homophobia; homosexuality was viewed as being wrong, and from the white man. Point blank statements suggesting that homosexuality was not an Indigenous trait did not deter any of these women from what they inherently — knew inside their lived experiences! What can be questioned at this juncture is whether or not the women are still perhaps responding to ways of being that they are told are characteristically indigenous ways of being, or if there is another approach they have used to authenticate these ways. 127 Many Indigenous societies have spiritually strong beliefs in dreams, visions, spiritual journeys and ceremonies; how and who determines the accuracy and legitimacy of such accounts? From my teachings of Ojibwe and Cree Midewiwin (medicine people), approval or ‘authentication’ is bestowed from the Grandmothers (usually a council), a shaman, or a medicine man or woman. It is not just an Elder as someone who is chronologically aged, but it is someone who is recognized, respected and fully acknowledged within the medicine community as being with spirit and with knowledge. Even then, they are only acting as conduits in this world on behalf of the ‘creator’. Descriptions of identity and “unifying constructs” (Walters, et al., 2006, p. 135) are comfortable temporary placeholders until “a word is created that captures the fluidity of gender and sexual identity and the interconnectedness and inseparability of identity with spirituality and traditional worldviews” (Walters, et al., 2006, p. 135). For these women, embracing the term two-spirit allowed them to keep their indigeneity along with their sexuality and gender in whatever form they described; they did not have to give up one to have the other as is common in LGBT communities (Walters, et al., 2006). They also placed an importance on the spiritual aspects that they read about, heard about or were given ‘teachings’ about in spite of any negative feedback they received from Indigenous community members or Elders. The authenticity of their identity did not have to be sanctioned by others (or Elders) and the unifying construct, two-spirit, did not require further approval from the Elders these women spoke with. The value and authority came from the two-spirit community itself, which held more power than the voices of the Elders. 128 The term two-spirit has been misappropriated, romanticized and used against the two-spirit community (Walters, et al., 2006; Wilson, 1996). Those who fall into these categories that misuse and abuse the terminology are truly misunderstanding the intent and power that can be reclaimed when a marginalized community selects a way to describe themselves. Just as Aboriginality’ was [n]ever made for the Aboriginals - it was made for the colonials” (Paine, 2000, p. 93), so too were various misidentifying labels and their definitions. “We need to organize within the very categories of identity that we also need to destroy or destabilize so that we may become free of their limitations” (English, 2003, p.6). There must be a better understanding of the root of invisibility through colonial approaches, Euro-Christian influence and policies that continue to place these limitations on two-spirit women. Another area that has emerged as being similar is the sense of embodiment of more than just one gender. Participants identified gender crossover points in their lives where the embodiment manifested around their shape shifting capabilities. This type of embodiment was completely acceptable in many cultures prior to colonization (Hultkrantz, 1997; Medicine, 2001; Mills, 1994b), but was still viewed as being problematic and not necessarily acceptable in mainstream and contemporary Indigenous societies. Two of the women strongly identified with a male persona and a variety of masculine gifts in their personality. At times the male persona allowed them to pass (Goffinan, 1963) or shape shift within certain groupings and circles. Unlike the passing described above for their Indigenous identity, passing as male had some layers of deception to obtain access or privilege to something. Again, the ability to shape shift between their genders and use of their gifts was described as a skill they could tap into at 129 will. It was also recognized as being an inherent part of their identity, an aspect that did not have to be worked at as much as it came naturally. There was also a declaration that everyone’s spirit is really genderless and perhaps seeing it as an embodiment of only two genders of male and female may be a misnomer. This is similar to what the literature described as having two or more souls (Hultkrantz, 1997) and that the language in use today fails to recognize anything outside of the Euro-Christian standard. These women also referred to only masculine and feminine embodiments, but identified them as being simultaneously occupying one body for two-spirit people. In terms of two-spirit essentialism, there were two common factors identified as being Indigenous and the sense of embodiment of two genders. There was not one unified response to the definition of two-spirit as each woman expressed their identity as being influenced by their personal contexts. These contexts were rich with familial learnings, teachings from the two-spirit community as well as influences from the mainstream society. Each woman displayed a sense of malleability with their descriptions of their identity based on their environments and the needs that presented. In this sense, the strategic invisibility and shape shifting is ever more present. Summary. This discussion included three points that resonated throughout this research. The first point included a perspective of strategic invisibility and use of shape shifting capabilities. A second point included how the two-spirit community emerged as the knowledge keepers and the true story holders of two-spirits from the past. This was a complete disruption to the current view of how Elders are viewed as the gatekeepers to 130 community knowledge and wisdom. The third point that emerged was how two-spirit is defined and the only essential factors are Indigeneity and a sense of embodiment of masculine and feminine traits by one person. The root of authentically defining and accepting two-spiritedness within Indigenous communities has such a long way to go in disrupting the discursive dialogue that fails to diversify. 131 Chapter 6: Conclusion Summary of Findings The purpose of this study was to discover if the term two-spirit enriches the lives of Aboriginal women and their identities. It was also important to understand whether two-spirit women gained a deeper cultural and traditional understanding based on their personal acceptance of a two-spirit identity. Essentially, this research wanted to uncover further meaningfulness from the declaration of claiming one-self as two-spirit. To capture the phenomena, a three-stage interview was conducted with each participant to frame, explore and bring to life the lived experiences of these women. The women’s perspectives were essential in understanding the complexities of two-spirit identity and how it plays out for these women. Data gathered went through an arduous process of sifting, sorting and analysis to arrive at the essence. The essence was then captured and presented in a medicine wheel; a process that I believe brought a rigorous layer of respect to this work. In this study I have demonstrated the connection of these women’s lived experiences and directly linked them to the culturally grounded identity they have expressed. The position of these women was to not necessarily fight for their place in society, but to demonstrate to society that additional space could be created. By decreasing or eliminating racist, homophobic commentaries and reactions, an automatic acceptance, and therefore, space would be allowed to co-exist. The following section will outline the significance for the field of Social Work and identify three implications that the helping profession could be aware of to create space for acceptance. 132 Significance For Social Workers and the field of Social Work, there are three main implications I would like to draw on from the results of this research. The first implication rests with the presumptive knowledge that heterosexuality is the norm throughout all humanity. The acts of erasure identified in this work exposed the level of involvement of the Government and the Church in mandating compulsory heterosexuality throughout colonized nations (Le Duigou, 2000). Heterosexuality as the standardized norm is purely not the case as literature demonstrated multiple genders, multiple roles and multiple souls within various communities across the globe (Mills, 1 994b; Hultkrantz, 1997; Slobodin, 1994a). Gender fluidity is outwardly expressed in these writings. The second implication I would like to address is that the hierarchical importance given to Elders may be overstated. As helpers in the helping professions, we aim to put our best intentions forward based on the presenting needs of the individuals. In working with Indigenous peoples, it is often a first-hand reaction to rely on community Elders as the go-to referral source for any and all answers. The challenge that presents is the values, beliefs and intentions of the Elders may very well be a mismatch for our well- — intentioned gesture to find support for those we are helping specifically, two-spirit peoples, as some contemporary Elders have been impacted by colonization. Stronger linkages, acceptance and teachings have been gained through the TwoSpirit Oral Teachings and the sense of belonging that is provided by being a part of a two-spirit community. The connections to be made then, are not simply through the Elders, but directly through the two-spirit community. 133 The third, and most important implication for the field of Social Work is the full out recognition and acceptance that we are all affected by colonization. Imposed values and beliefs, lost cultures and traditions and the inherent lack of respect of human diversity are highly problematic. We as Social Workers are not immune to these human foibles. Our own understandings may have been built and structured around the very institutions that have historically undermined, pushed out and annihilated the two-spirits in the past. We must recognize this and create the pathway that acknowledges culture, gender, beliefs, traditions, and spirituality as a pathway that has been truly reconciled. Recommendations Upon completion of this study, I see two definite recommendations that would lend further credibility to the stories and histories of two-spirit peoples. One of the major recommendations would be to gather the oral stories where family and community members remember this presence within their communities in the past. This would help bridge the historical pieces that were erased from written material but not from the memories, with the current contemporary voices that are still at work in strengthening the community. The second recommendation is similar to the first. The view on Elders as gatekeepers or knowledge keepers within the community could be challenged by seeking out these stories. One challenge previously discussed has emerged around the nature and assignment of who has the authority to approve, name, or sanction two-spirits to act or not act within the Indigenous community. History has clearly laid out the rule base for what is or is not palatable; the authority to authorize authenticity is undoubtedly not in the hands of the Indigenous peoples. 134 The next challenge brings me to a place to question who the teachers could or should be within the communities. Women and grandmothers historically had the role of teaching the young women. The men and the grandfathers taught the young men. The question here, is why would the men and women teach or treat the two-spirits as single¬ gendered when their embodiment is seen as so fluid and malleable between the polar¬ opposite genders? An avenue for continued research becomes opened with this question as the research could be focused on broadening the circle of knowledge keepers within Indigenous communities. The second recommendation would be to open the door for other two-spirits to be the knowledge keepers and traditionally accepted teachers for other two-spirits who are just ‘coming in’ (Wilson, 1996) to their identities. This would require a full scale disruption to the way things are currently viewed within Indigenous communities and a full scale acknowledgement that two-spirits always were and always will be part of the community circle. Final Thoughts In closing, and in the voice of one of these women, “[t]he world is not made up of atoms, it is made up of stones.” This thesis is one approach to decolonize the stories that have formulated our past and to reclaim that which disrupted the medicines and gifts of the Indigenous peoples. Such a disruption could change the future story; perhaps saving lives as well as enhancing those lives that have struggled with challenging discourses imbedded in racism, heterosexism and heteropatriarchal ways of being. 135 Bibliography Absolon, K. 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Canadian Woman Studies, 26(3), 193-199. 143 Appendix A: Information Sheet f IWPd^ UNIVERSITY OF UfVVW NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA Information Letter/Consent Form page 1 of 4 Making the Invisible - Visible: A Phenomenological Study of the Lived Experiences of Two-Spirit Women (Master of Social Work Thesis Student Research) Dear Participant, Thank you for expressing your interest in this research project. This letter is an invitation for you to consider participating in a research study that will help others learn about the personal meanings of two-spirit women's experiences of their identity. Why are you being asked to take part in this research? You have been provided a copy of this letter as you have been identified as being part of the two-spirit community, and as a woman, your stories and experiences will be helpful to meet the purpose of this research. This study is being done to address some of the gaps in the literature where these experiences have been historically absent and in many cases, continues to be absent. It will allow participants to create narratives that have traditionally and culturally been valued, but are rarely included in contemporary literature or writings. This will be an attempt to bridge contemporary experiences and create a new story where women's lives are no longer invisible. As identified above, this research is being done as a thesis research for the partial fulfillment of a Masters of Social Work degree at the University of Northern British Columbia (UNBC). The following outlines the specific details you should be aware of as a research participant. Who is doing the study and how are they supervised? As a UNBC student researcher, I can be reached at the following phone number and email. Likewise, my two supervisors are also accessible by phone or email, with the convenience of one of the supervisors being local in Winnipeg. Their numbers are below for ease of contact. Student Researcher Jacqueline F. Nobiss Master of Social Work student University of Northern British Columbia Box 211 Anola, MB ROE 0A0 (204) 806-2282 144 Page 2 of 4 e-mail: nobissj@unbc.ca Co-Supervisor: Dr. Si Transken, Professor Social Work Program 3333 University Way Prince George, BC V2N 4Z9 (250) 960-5555 e-mail: si@unbc.ca Co-Supervisor: Dr. Josee Lavoie Director, Manitoba First Nations Centre for Aboriginal Health Research Associate Professor, Dept, of Community Health Sciences, University of Manitoba (204)319-2560 Josee.Iavoie@med.umanitoba.ca Yes, I would like to participate in this research study! If you agree to participate in this research, you will be involved in a series of 3 face-toface interviews that will be audio recorded. The interviews will last between 30-90 minutes and can take place in your home or at another location that is convenient for you. Your participation in this research is strictly voluntary and you may choose to withdraw at any point of time, including during the interviews or after. You may also ask to have the audio recording stopped at any time, choose not to answer a question or questions, or refuse further participation. There will be no consequences or prejudices as a result of your withdrawal from this study. Please know, that if there is information that has been recorded and you choose to withdraw, the information you have provided will also be withdrawn and securely destroyed, unless you explicitly consent to the information being retained and analyzed. How will my information be protected and my privacy maintained? Audio recordings will be transcribed as soon as possible and a copy of the transcription will be provided to you as the participant. You will then be given an opportunity to review the transcription prior to the next interview so you have time to reflect upon it, provide clarity or changes where necessary and approve the transcript. The original copy of the transcript along with the audio recordings will be kept by the researcher in a locked and confidential environment in a file cabinet, in a locked office in the home of the researcher. The audio recordings will be kept on a password protected USB in the same location. Only the researcher will have access to the audio recording, transcript and locked office where these items will be safely stored. Anonymity will be protected by having all names and identifying information removed from the transcript and provided with coded identification only known to the researcher. Transcripts and audio recordings will be kept up until the time the study is completed. 145 Page 3 of 4 You will then be given an option to have the audio recording USB returned or to have them securely destroyed. An option to have the transcripts and audio recordings burned through a sacred closing ceremony may also be provided, at your choice and discretion. A personal and confidential space on the property of the researcher will be made available for this purpose at no cost to you. As the two-spirit community is small, there may be aspects of your story that appear recognizable to others. Anonymity cannot be guaranteed in this case. To help this, the researcher will make additional efforts by providing a narrative from composite identities (a mix of participants’ stories within a pseudo identity) in order to hide pieces of each participant, minimizing the ability to accurately identify you. With this, your anonymity will be better protected. What will I be asked in the interviews? As mentioned, there will be a series of 3 in-person interviews. The first interview will explore the context of your personal experiences. The second interview will be a deeper discussion where you will be able to look at your experiences in the context you have described. As a third and final interview is conducted, you will be encouraged to reflect on the meaning of these experiences and what these experiences hold for you as an Indigenous and two-spirit woman. After each interview, you will be asked whether you wish to continue to a second or third interview. We will be able to negotiate a location of your choosing where we can continue with the second or third interview. Again, the choice to continue or withdraw is completely your decision and will be completely respected by the researcher. Are there any risks or benefits by being involved in this study? The size of the community brings some challenges in having your story and experiences identified, however, the researcher will provide ‘composite identities’ as described above, to mask the true stories and limit identification. There is also some emotional and psychological risk when it comes to discussing your personal experiences. Some experiences may be negative, stressful or have caused you harm in the past. Talking about these experiences may raise unresolved and sensitive areas for you. As a result, you will be given an opportunity to provide names of family, supportive people, or counsellors that may be of help in the event that unpleasant thoughts or feelings have emerged. The researcher will also have the authority to stop the interview in the event that you appear to be struggling. This will be included in your Consent Form. In terms of benefits, this research will give credibility to the meanings of two-spirit women's experiences to the point where their voices are included in contemporary literature. Additionally, this research will benefit all two-spirit women by legitimizing their experiences, valuing their stories and provide a rich abundance of knowledge and support as a resource for other two-spirit women who are coming through similar journeys. 146 Page 4 of 4 Will I be compensated for my time for taking part in this study? You will not be offered any financial compensation for your participation in this study. However, as part of an Indigenous recognition, you will be offered a small gift and token of appreciation for offering your story and shared experiences for this research. What happens after the study is done? Once the research process is completed, the results will be analyzed and documented. You will be given an option to keep a written copy of the completed work for your personal records. Additionally, the results of this study will be reported in a graduate thesis and may also be published in journal articles and books. Who can I contact if I have further questions or complaints about the study? If you have any questions about what is being asked of you, please feel free to connect with the Student Researcher, or either of the co-supervisors listed on pages 1 and 2 of this letter. If you have any concerns or complaints about your rights as a research participant and/or your experiences while participating in this study, contact the UNBC Office of Research at (250) 960-6735 or by e-mail at reb@unbc.ca. I have also enclosed a copy of the consent form. If you wish to proceed with the interview process, please feel free to connect with me at the above information. Thank you for taking the time to read this information. Miigwetch—with respect, Jacqueline Nobiss 147 Appendix B: Informed Consent OF f fAlDA UNIVERSITY NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA Informed Consent Making the Invisible - Visible: A Phenomenological Study of the Lived Experiences of Two-Spirit Women The following is a breakdown of the necessary components for you to provide your consent prior to beginning the interviews. Although you sign this form, you may still withdraw at any time without prejudice or consequence. All information gathered up to and including the time you have chosen to withdrawn will be securely destroyed, unless you provide me with explicit consent to your information being retained and analyzed. 1. I understand that I have been asked to participate in a study that will examine the experiences of two-spirit women as it relates to identity. Yes No 2. I have read and received a copy of the attached information sheet. Yes No 3. I understand the research interviews will consist of time frames between 30 to 90 minutes, be audio recorded, and transcribed to be returned to me for approval. Yes No 4. I understand the benefits and risks involved in participating in this study. Yes No Due to the sensitivity of the topic, there may be some things that are discussed that create emotional discomfort. If this should happen during the interview, the researcher has the option of stopping the interview process and has my permission to call my support person listed below. Name of Support Person Phone Number In the event that a support person cannot be identified, I give my permission for the researcher to contact the Klinic Community Health Centre, 24-Hour Crisis Line at (204)786-8686. Yes No 5. I understand that I will have opportunities to ask questions and discuss this study when necessary. Yes No 148 6. I understand that I can refuse to participate in the study without penalty, and I am able to withdraw from the research at any stage of the process without penalty or consequence. Yes No 7. I understand that all recordings and transcripts will be kept strictly confidential. Yes No 8. As the two-spirit community is small, there may be aspects of your story that appear recognizable to others. Anonymity cannot be guaranteed in this case. To help this, the researcher will make additional efforts by providing a narrative from composite identities (a mix of participants’ stories within a pseudo identity) in order to hide pieces of each participant, minimizing the ability to accurately identify individual participants. With this, your anonymity will be better protected. I understand the limitations of anonymity. Yes No 9. I understand that the use of the audio and transcripts will be used in data analysis for the purpose of writing the thesis without exposing any identifying information Yes No 10. This study was explained to me by the researcher. Yes No 11. I agree to take part in this study and have provided my signature below. Yes No Signature of Participant Date Printed Name of Participant Date I believe that the person signing this form understands what is involved in this study and has voluntarily agreed to participate. Signature of Researcher Date 149 Appendix C: Questions to Guide First Interview Setting up the Context: How do you define your identity? How would you describe your identity in your family/community environment? Would you say there is a difference in how you perceive yourself and identity and how you present yourself? If so, can you describe this difference and what it means to you? Can you describe any changes in your identity that you have experienced over time? What were some significant things that were going on in your life at that time? What were some of the highlights that were in your life, and what were some of the difficulties you may have been facing at that time? If you can recall the significant people in your life, can you describe some of the reactions, thoughts, or influences that you were experiencing at that time? If you could imagine yourself in that moment again (of changing), could you describe your thoughts, feelings, and emotional state as if you were living it at that time? 150 Appendix D: Questions to Guide the Second Interview Reconstructing the Details: Now that you have had a chance to review your transcript from the first interview, would there be any changes, amendments, or additions you would like to make? When you consider the events that were discussed in the last interview, as you reflect back, can you describe the most significant pieces for you? How would you describe the process of claiming your sexual or gender diversity and (participant’s use of terminology for what this meant to you as their personal cultural and gender identity)? How have you worked with the emotional, mental aspects of your being and bringing this together with your physical identification? Has this identity brought you closer to your culture or community values or teachings in any way? 151 Appendix E: Questions to Guide the Third Interview Participants Reflections: What has been the most meaningful or impactful part of your journey in identifying as a (use of participant’s own words? How would you describe this impact on your being? How would you describe this impact in terms of your (participant’s use of words for sexual/gender identity)? How has this shaped you as (participant’s terminology of First Nations, Metis, Aboriginal, Indigenous identity)? What is the most significant aspect of your self-identity today? 152 Appendix F: First Nations Ethics Approval Assembly of Manitoba Chiefs: Research Office Health Information Research Governance Committee (HIRGC) From: Kathi A. Kinew [kathiaverykinew@manitobachiefs.com] Sent: July 25, 2014 9:24 AM To: 'Jacqueline Nobiss' Subject: RE: Masters Research Hi Jaquie. I’m on AL till 7th. It seems for 3 participants you would not need any HIRGC review. AMC is concerned that research with First Nations should state that NOT Aboriginal. If you are interviewing First nations and Metis respondents, then pls say First Nations and Metis. In 2005, in prep across the country for Kelowna Accord, there was agreement amongst the three main national organizations - AFN. ITK. MNC - that a three stream process be adopted henceforth to make distinctions amongst the people known. AMC, AFN and other organizations have resolutions to that effect, that our organizations are only mandated to represent and deal with issues pertaining to First Nations. As Wilf Falk, MB govt head of demographics, said after 2006 Cenuss data relased on "Aboriginal" people: Researchers should stop analyzing data as "Aboriginal" because it hides the reality of these distinct. We agree - and also does not give organizations and First Nations evidence to advocate for change. TTFN Good luck with your studies and work! Enjoy summer. Back on 7th. Kathi 153 Appendix G: Mdtis Ethics Approval MANITOBA METIS FEDERATION INC. 300 - 150 Hwy Avenue. Winnipeg, Menttofte HJBJUi Ptione: (204) MM474 Fax (204) 947-UJOteWfc www.mmfmb ca David Chartrand, LL.D. (Had) President Augntt26,2014 Jacqueline Nokia Box211 ROE 0A0 KE: Me JitvirtWe-Fbibla. A Himi wa/ajital St*4y of th* Lntd Exptritteti Tue Spirit IFewux Das Jacquaksa Wa an pleased tn provaio you with a lotto of support fox your research for graduate work in Social Work U'o understand that you will bo gram min; ihsk of gender, sexual onentities marginalisation. and cokmisation in Canadian Pint Nations. Maru, and or Iinnt peoples Maroavw we n t mui t that tint it is area of research. about which tittle it known. In tones of yww specific research, wn uadenoad the profile of parbc^asti that will be engaged in this study may or may not be Motts It it alto noted that there will be apprtncsoatnly throe to five pirtiapantj required for blit research, each of whom will ecxaae in up to three inMmowt with yon XVo request that the ot-nnt yon intammr Motu indhadualt for your ttndy, identifiable personal mfonnation will ba toduded in the outcome, and results fiam the intarviaws will bo presocred in an iSEresatod or ananynciied rnannor to re spec th* privacy and con-fwimtnlffy of study partxtpiEts got Thank yoc for oesulting with ow Dopartmewt regarding engaging ethically with our ccoununits- Best washot for your research andaavor Regards Manitoba Mots F etsnbiiH 1 1 in & WoDnett Department iiamitsg a n - a i ts