Page 10 April 1980 Cassiar Courier HUMAN RESOURCES eccecee When the family breaks up HELPING A CHILD TO COPE WITH SEPARATION OR DIVORCE Separation or divorce is a painful, shattering experience for all involved. To a child, it may seem that his whole world is falling apart. He may wonder if it is his fault. This article gives some ideas on how parents can help. Although separation or divorce may sometimes come as a welcome relief after much tension and conflict, the period of adjustment is usually painful. Both parents want to do what's best for their children, but it’s difficult to set aside their own personal loneliness, anger or hurt. For the parent who-has been deserted and suddenly must cope entirely alone the problems are even greater. Here are some suggestions that may help you ease the ad- justment for a child: 1, Be honest and truthful without burdening him with details he can’t understand. 2. Encourage him to ask questions, to talk out hie hurt and angry feelings. : 3. Help him to see that he will not lose your love, al- though Mummy or Daddy will be living apart. 4. Reassure him that he is in no way to blame for the separation. This is very important. 5. Try not.to blame one parent. This is painful for the child and forces him to choose sides. If possible! present it as a mutual problem, 6. Though you’re no longer husband and wife, try to work together as parents. Don’t let your child become a weapon in battles over money, education, visits and holi- days. 7. It’s not a good idea to ask a very young child to choose which parent he wishes to live with. One child may be closer to father, another to mother. The parents must decide. 8. Don't hide your troubles, Seek outside help in an ef- ‘fort to repair the marriage, and — if that fails — to help you make the smoothest adjustment for the child. Sometimes a close friend, relative or |professionally- trained person can help you deal with the turbulent em- otions of both you and your child. BX DR “e at} ‘f oY oe FG aS . ~ Most communities have a central office that you can tele- cS ‘LEONS BALE CASSIAR COMMUNITY CENTRE MUSIC BY "COUNTRY COMFORT Cocktails Admission $20.00 per person WHAT IF ONE PARENT REMARRIES? - Depending upon the circumstances, this may or may not be a major crisis. It’s wise to: (1) avoid any comparison of the new partner with the old; (2) emphasize your love for the child; (3) explain why you’re marrying again; (4) let the relationship build slowly between your child and your phone for help with family problems, They'll put you in new-husband or. wifes Don’trush it. Don’t force it touch with agencies and professionals — family service oh et ‘ eed 9 P y If your new mate can join in the child’s acitivites and spend extra time with him, this can heip them get to know each other, bureaus, legal aid, youth and family counsellors. WHAT TO TELL A YOUNGSTER 2 irae ONCE IT'S DONE GET ON WITH LIVING Most children have built-in fears that they may be left alone Their questions — ‘What will happen to me?”’... “Who will take care of me?” — are seldom spoken but deeply felt. It's important to reassure your child that care Once the break-up has taken place, go forward with as much confidence as possible. BUclOve OnE Sto: Most children have a strong ability to overcome tragic ev- ents. If you can continue to be a real parent and offer love guidance and understanding, you can expect your child to bounce back from the shock and confusion. When you must explain a decision to separate, do it with this general thought: ‘Mummy and Daddy have decided it’s best if they live in different houses. But we still love FEELINGS AND YOUR CHILD is a series of 10 pamph- lets about family life with young children. If you would like to receive a complete set, free, send your name and address to ‘‘Feelings and your Child,’’ Canadian Mental Health Association, 2160 Yonge Street, Toronto, Ont, M4S 2Z3. you very much and we will still be your Mummy and Daddy.” The response may be tears, silence, even refusal to accept what you’re saying. You may have to repeat it at different times and in different ways to help a young child under- stand. ‘ A CHILD MAY BLAME HIMSELF He needs reassurance that he didn’t cause the problem. Simple explanations are bést. The key word at all times is ‘we’, so he isn’t squeezed into choosing sides. Present it as a problem of two people who have agreed to live apart, but who both love the child and will each be | with him as much as possible. GET THE MOST OUT OF VISITS Don’t try to make up for your absence with expensive gifts and treats. Instead, show a real interest in your child and what he is doing. Keep your Visits frequent and as nat- ural as possible. This will help your relationship... “Above all, try not to miss a regular visit. 1f you must can: cel, let him know early and plan another date soon. Phone calls, letters, cards and an occasional gift will help your child to feel in close touch with you. BK ATY.9 hy AL XN NY \y iy ANA RS AS: OW SINS JINN LAN " “2 24, an cs or ay i 24, an =F cs 4 SS ee mR mn 775 Malozemoff St. Phone 778- 7345N (; (\ Cp (Y - SATURAY, APRIL 26,1980 7:00 p.m. Dinner 8:00 p.m. Dress Semi-Formal ; 4 Ds . 4} Tickets Available From Lions Club Members _.. =) as \) IWAIR (Se SZ) Cz cA) GC ca) La > GESSY “CSS. GS aS) (= WH NY NA VY NA NO Nf Ne NES \ CASSIAR AGENT: Giro’s Photo Studio. \ AD AVRO its qa Cassiar Courier April 1980 Page 11 _ SPORTS PAGE haa hey CASSIAR PEE WEES Teams from Fort Nelson, Watson Lake, Stewart and White- horse spent the weekend of March 29 and 30 in Cassiar for the Minor Hockey Tournament. Results were: PUPS DIVISION Winning Team — Stewart Best Defenseman — Jason Gay, Cassiar Best Goalie ~— Ron Kunka, Fort Nelson Best Forward — Joey George, Cassiar Best Sportsman — S. King, Whitehorse PEE WEE DIVISION — Cassiar — Mallory Mack, Stewart — Arun Lekhi, Cassiar _ — K. Bell, Fort Nelson — Lori Poon, Watson Lake ~ Winning Team Best Defenseman Best Goalie Best Forward Best Sportsman BANTAM MIDGETS Winning Team —_ Cassiar Best Defenseman — lan Cartwright, Cassiar & Best Goalie. oo. = Ji Kilpatrick, Stewart. > Best Forward 2 — Farmer Rattray, Cassiar Best Sportsman — S. Porter, Watson Lake We would like to thank everyone who helped to make this weekend such a success. Special thanks to: Mickey and Gene Overton The coaches, referees and linesmen Claudia Huber and Helen Pearson, who did a mar- velous job of billeting everyone The people who took billets into their homes Marilyn McCauley and her workers in the Snack . Bar ARUN LEKHI RECEIVING TROPHY FROM CEC TERRIS - CASSIAR BANTAM MIDGETS ‘A “Special Award’” was presented to the "First Rink Out” — Minor Hockey .:~. CROSS COUNTRY SKIING »«~ The Cassiar Cross Country Ski Program, with the help of Cassiar Asbestos Corporation, the school and the parents, was able to send eight skiers to Whitehorse on the 20th of March for a training session with Whitehorse skiers. The children earned the right to go on the trip by working for points in their training at school, home and in skiing. Mr. and Mrs. J. Buckler accompanied the skiers on their trip. While in Whitehorse, the group learned a lot about skiing, waxing and ski tracks. On March 24th a group of ten skiers and four coaches came from Whitehorse to train on the trail that extends off the 2 km, Their main purpose was to improve their. skills in long distance skiing. The group trained three hours every morning, as well as shorter sessions in the aftemoon and evening. These thirteen and fourteen year old children were skiing up to 35km. a day. Elizabeth Eso was also able to give the Cassiar skiers lessons in turing and having more control on hills. Back Row — Trina Radford, ae asec Debbie Hardy: Preston Radford, Front Row — Damian: Mackie, Pam King Mary Howard, Jackie Brand, Cheryl Dean. The skiers involved in the Cassiar Cross Country Ski Pro- gram will not be training in April. But it is hoped that they will be in a running program during May and June to keep them in condition. ; The Cassiar Ski program would like to thank Judy Joseph, Phyllis Hardy, Tim Riordan, Bill Morrison and Donna Mac- Guire for opening their homes to the Whitehorse group. A highlight for the Whitehorse skiers is the privilege to eat their meals in the Cassiar Cookery. They have been most impressed with the good food and friendliness of the peo- ple who work and eat there. Selwin Hughes, the White- horse coach, made the comment that “the school cafe- terias in Whitehorse could learn a lot from the good man- ners and etiquette of the Cassiar miners”. Father Mouchet is interested in continuing with a similar ‘program next year. His concern is with the growth and de- _ velopment of young children. With the help of the Com- pany, the school and the parents, he would assist in build- ing a framework, using the discipline of cross country ski- ing and regular training ‘to motivate youth for greater per- sonal achievement . Curling — Congratulations are in order to John Forbes, Ciril Habjan, Bill Pratt and Frank Nitti — our Cassiar team came third in the Supplementary Event in Scotland. : ’ by G, Dowgray The Annual Bonspiel banquet and dance was held Saturday night, March 22, between games and was enjoyed by all the curlers and guests. The curling ceased from 6:00 — 11:00 p.m. so everyone could relax for a few hours. The draw was made for ‘“‘Anywhere in the World’ — Congratulations to Ray Radford, 652 Batemen, Cassiar, who is the lucky winner. The last play-off games were held at 3:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon, followed by the presentation of prizes a at the Recreation Centre. Prizes were given to the following teams: A EVENT — Presented by Mr. P. C. Jones First — John Forbes, Don Baycroft, Richard Rudkowski, Diane Forbes Second — B. Hawick, K. Laine, B. Gossen, T. Archibald Third — M. D’Agnolo, D. VanBibber, A. Weinzholter, L. VanBibber Fourth — Tom Anderson, M. Griswold, Al Keim, Kelly Griswold B EVENT — Presented by J. Forbes s First — J. Holt, R. Frank, R. Holt, S. Frank Second — G. Nolan, V. Johansen, Mrs. Nolan, M. Johansen Third — J. Lee, B. Colak, J. Colak, J, Nuyens Fourth — D. Kalles, B. Lindstrom, F. Lindstrom, W. Ferstel C EVENT ~— presented by E. Thirlweil First — G, Diemert, B, Anderson, S. Hiebert, J. Diemert Second — F. Nitti, C. Habjan, J. Bucar, A. Guarducci Third — J. Gwilliam, H. Joseph, D. Harrison, J. Joseph Fourth —-R, Duri, G. Beckett, M. Connolly, J. Habjan D EVENT — presented by Don Baycroft First — A, Borsato, S. Hickman, B. Leckie, H. Voss Second — R. McArthur, N. Cosnett, G. Beaudette, H. Billingsley Third — L. Armstrong, R. Knowles, G. Dowgray, V. Collett Fourth — D. Kerr, N. Kerr, A. Kennedy, S. Kennedy Karl Voss, Glen Billingsley, Ev Usselman and Gertrude ! Drzimotta. rods ey am The Ueancmrcler s Pree? went to Lothar Kutz, Betty Carter, Danny Harrison and Glen Gee a es A prize was also given to the team Havelling the greatest distance — B. Pewsey, John Oughtred, Anne Wilkes dptd3Edith P > Bangaard-from Vancouver office. . eo { Curling season is nearly over, but there is one last Wind-Up Bonspiel to be held April 11, 12 and 13th, and the Wind-Up Banquet and Dance is May 3, at the Recreation Centre. Keep these dates open and come out and join the last curling of the season.