Over The Edge Page 2 April 1, 1999 Student Bitten by Masked Assailant Cookie Munching Cannibal Eats and Runs By Anne R. Key Talk about your meals on the go. At 8:55 am, Ginger B. Snap was asleep in the Wintergarden having consumed vast quanti- ties of the local fermen- tation. Snap was emas- culated sometime between 8:55 am and 9:25 am by a masked assailant. Local authorities attended the scene after the discovery of Snap lying unconscious and leaking icing was dis- covered by UNBC Security on a routine patrol. “| can’t believe that someone was so sick as to bite off a students’ naughty bits,” said an UNBC Security guard, who agreed to speak on conditions of anonymity, “| mean, there was icing everywhere.” While local authorities are not commenting on the matter other than to say that several high ranking UNBC officials have been asked to comment on _ their whereabouts during the attack. The attack has pro- voked UNBC Administration to look into the matter in order to determine whether it is necessary to set up an “Icing Only” centre on campus to allow those students with del- icate sugary bits a place to go and receive coun- seling. “We are aware that there are specific issues that pertain solely to these people,” a mem- ber of FLeshies Against Violence Against Unarmed Raisin-filled people (FLAVOUR), stated at a press confer- ence, “And we must be open to their needs and concerns in the same manner that we are open to other kinds of similar issues.” Students are con- cerned about the attack, fearing that tensions will rise between human beings and their doughy, chewable coun- terparts. Choose Freedom Be. 4 3 al ** Solitude comes soon enough. Be youn ‘Be free. .. Greyhound Western Canada ) Student Coach Card. 25% off all your Greyhound Canada travel in Western Canada for one year. For only 15 bucks. New this year, get 20% off Gray Line City Tours in Vancouver & Victoria when you show this card Canada + The Bus is Better. Available at any Greyhound Canada location in Western Canada. For further information in Prince George call 564-5454. “| don’t know how to feel about this whole issue,” said a young woman from Residence, “I’m afraid that there will be ven- gence attacks on peo- ple like me. I’ve always embraced the idea of having the Doughy peo- ple be able to attend university.” Authorities are still investigating the matter. Controversial Policy to Receive Referendum Genderless Washrooms Proposed for UNBC By Roy L. Flush Perhaps the most con- troversial issue on cam- pus is back. Only this time, it seems to be finding a great deal of support with stu- dents, staff, and faculty. When the university was opened in 1994, a proposal to save the uni- versity money on items such as toilets and space was brought for- ward but was rejected in favour of the current facilities. Medhurst, Director Facilities, com- mented on the proposal at press conference early Wednesday® morning, stating that the now- empty bathrooms would still serve a func- tional purpose. “Due to the growth on campus of the student population, it has become apparent that these spaces are need- ed for more class- rooms,” Medhurst stated after revealing the plan, “As we begin to make better and better use of the space we do have, the university will be able to consider the con- struction of new facili- ties.” The complex UNBC Administrative Plan for Academic Space Development (APASD) is only the first step ina five year implementa- tion. The end result will be the eventual removal of all bathrooms on campus, with toiletry facilities being provided by banks of portable toi- lets around the campus. It is also expected that these areas will be des- ignated for smoking and snow removal dumping zones. Medhurst also answered questions about the current expec- tations for the student population on the cam- pus. “Currently, we believe the campus is capable of handling approxi- mately 6000 students,” Godfrey said, “We believe that this propos- al will free up enough space to handle 20,000 students. Of course, that’s after we mine out a large portion of Cranbrook Hill and re- enforce the entire struc- ture. The initial cost will be high, but the end benefits will be double that figure in reduced costs for building main- tenance if we manage to tap into the Earth’s ther- mal power.” Students spoke out strongly for the proposal at the press conference. “| quite enjoy the idea that the university is finally prepared to con- solidate some of these resources,” said a stu- dent during the discus- sion period, “It just makes sense to have the bathrooms removed from the actual campus buildings.” This is not to say that the proposal met with the support of all stu- dents, how- ever. Several camps have spoken out against the proposal, cit- ing safety issues and ed to the external toi- letry facilities. “| don’t want to go out- side to use the facilities,” said one protestor, “This proposal is simply crap.” Protestors outside of the Senate chambers carried signs with slo- gans like “Administration Flushes Education Down the Toilet’, “Who Gives a Crap? | do”, and “Flush This”. Copies of the 52 page UNBC_ Administrative Plan for Academic Space Development are available from the uni- versity by calling 960- 5622. Ask for Rob.