Page 16, October 1980 Cassiar Courier GREAT STOLEN ACORN HOARD CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10 But it wasn't that at all. This. was serious. This was Dizzy Izzy Zitts and Sputsy Red Roofus rolling around the ‘Dew besprinkled floor, punching each other in their ten collective eyes. Miz Pinky got mad. Big tall bulky love- ly Miz Pinky moved smoothly. She grab- bed Dizzy and Sputzy, one in each paw, her teeth knittering in anger, she shook them until they dangled. She brought them back to the Acorn tree and dropped them in the soft dew be- sprinkled moss, where they lay, not daring to spit or sput until the game plan was explained. * She looked at them. Her friends! "How is it" she growled, "that when things are good we are friends. How is it that in a crisis we become enemies. We ac- cuse one another of unspeakable heresies. Crisis brings fear and disappointment. Fear breeds anger and. disappointment is father to suspicion and we bedmate with poison ivy." Bullseye shivered. "Gleepers" he thought to himself, "I'm glad I'ma hybernating housefly eating coldblooded postulating pari mutuel Garter Snake and I've got a lot of skin. I can't even pat my own tummy. Gleepers, I'm tummy all the way down. Behind this forked tongue is one long hollow tummy. I can't even scratch my back! I'ma head and tail separated by one long hollow unscratchable unpatable tummy. I can scratch my head but that makes me look like an onion ring. And onion rings make me burp. And camels don't like burping Garter Snakes on the hump who look like onion rings." * But Miz Pinky wasn't finished. Still very angry; she looked at every one of them. "I declare" she growled, I purely do believe that you remind me of Moon- shure Gadoret trying to find a mattress covering the root cellar." 56666 moe VROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA MINISTRY OF HEALTH Division of Vital Statistics, Victoria, B.C. V8W 3C8 Notice of Application for Change of Name NOTICE is hereby riven that an application will be made fo the Director of Vital Statistics for a change of name, pursuant to the provisions of the “ Change of Name Act,” by me:— Aoveadh, Rodhicne of... Set. auG 2net bas in CASS\BR. ° q. as follows:— AVON Ae 1) rah Shey e mensnqesensasss+sennes tonee: Ras ise eae es ae ie y neebeedansdavesrvecacsaceceees TE NEN He Podhwo pee To change my a from . to oxen. y My wife name from . ...... *My minor unmarried child’s (children’s) name (a) from ... CDI coecabettg freee Easctecivasss nahh Prosatanesedyhic cs shecn ocbrstkesrerodtnose! east atatsatacereatacecarrees wnvestoecereorer (d) From... RO Trees Dated this Me yeehn any of. NLL mbar peveine"® For publication in a local newspaper. “CHANGE OF NAME ACT™ (Section 6) ..eq in the Province of British Columbia, Flash Palloo stepped up to Miz Pinky and he was clean burnished copper, gleaming fur, soft sleek slick bright brave new and well oiled. "Ma'am" he said, "we are merely pro- ducts of the Great Canadian Primary Educational System! The Puritanical . Chokei" "Well," replied Miz Pinky, that was a very fine speech, I purely do believe, but I'm sure you have something more on your mind. As the moon grows older the wine grows colder." "Ma'am" said Flash, "we are all bud- ding intellectuals without a trade to follow. And Ma'am, I find you to be sexist, racist, chauvinistic and femin- istic, all of which has nothing to do with evolution." "You can bet your blasted banoonie boons" roared B B Glurp, "I don't know what evolution means but I'm sure it's rotten. And beside that, all this silly goolo goolo is not finding them acorns. That there Acorn Hoard Hole is me, B B Glurp's home. And no trans san’ denture mediation is going to find them there acorns. Things don't disap- pear, They move but blast my banoonie boons they don't disappear." "Snow does" said Whiffer grinning. B B.Glurp looked at Whiffer, a hating look of venom filled disgust. Gritting his six hundred and fifty teeth he said "what can you expect from an odor- iferous stry-ped Skunk?" * Flash Palloo strode into the centre of the circle again. He had been sitting with both sets of paws crossed and he had been thinking with his paws crossed ed. "Cuts down the birth rate." he thought. Now he waved one superbly elegant paw. "May I suggest" he said, "that if there is no outside visible evidence of chicanery, and the acorns are gone, then without any doubt, there has to be inside evidence of aforesaid chicanery!" _ Miz Pinky lurched to her feet. "Well, I do declare" she said to Flash, "T purely do believe that I will look and Form C.N. 1 y | see sir!" So saying, she went to the tree and slowly heavily climbed to the "Acorn Hoard Hole’ hole. She poked her head and shoulders in, balancing on her tummy, legs wriggling. Her bloom- ers popped into view. Everyone looked away hastily. She had so much respect! She examined the hole, every square millimeter. And, there it was - a cork! A wide cork. She removed the cork and light shot into the hole, oes ne smoky lantern light. Miz Pinky climbed down the tree blush- ing because the cut and gaiety of her bloomers was now public domain. She passed the cork around, saying that” part of the mystery was now explain- able. At least this was evidence of re- moval. Flash Palloo picked up the cork, ex- amining it closely. He eyed it, he sniffed it, he nibbled it. A long slow. smile began to grow. "I know who it is" he shouted. "It's Roger the Red Necked Rink Rat, it's rotten Roger, slimy Roger, revolting Roger, repulsive Roger." Everyone turned to everyone else, mur- muring, whispering, "Rotten Revolting Roger the Red Necked Repulsive Rink Rat, what will we do now, what will we dot" The superbly elegant paw shot up again. "We. must call in Buford Steeltoe the Badger" shouted Flash, "only he can save usi" "How much will it cost us?" asked Miz Pinky. "T think it's 37 acorns an hour for house calls" answered Flash, "but ask Jimmy Doucet, Buford's digging a canal for him up on Maloozmanoff, because nobody wants to work on Sundays any more." "Well, I declare" murmurred Miz Pinky, "T don't know what this world is com- ing to, it don't seem to be the same world I was brought up in, I purely do believe. All our acorns were in that hole, so we can't pay him unless he finds them. That's not exactly motivating your employee, is it? TO BE CONTINUED > - ©- © <- ~~ © ~~ oo oo CLASSIFIED ADS DELUXE CONDOMINIUM FOR RENT Deluxe condominium for rent on. the beach in Ixtapa, Mexico in the vie- inity of Acapulco, Mexico. Two large bedrooms, two full bathrooms,kitchen facilities and a view of the ocean, Private beach, 2_swimming pools, tennis court, golfing & nite club facilities, with a housekeeper who comes in daily. Rental Dates: Jan. 18, 1981 - February 1981. Ideal for SS couples or 2 couples with 2 chil- dren. For further information eau Candy at 778-7777 or drop in at 648 Bate- man during the day. NEED HELP? . Call the Native Courtworket and Coun- selling Association of B.C. The Courtworker-in your Area is: VIOLET GREENWAY, P.O. BOX 336, WATSON LAKE, Y.T. YOA 1CO PHONE: 536-7592 Violet will be in your area every first and third Monday of each month, and in Lower Post every Wednesday.