- ae - se a OS - — . = PNA A NS CE GSE - — — a CT Page 4, September 80 Cassiar Courier Warehouse »B.Q. The sun shone on the second successful Warehouse B.B.Q. held at Chain Lakes . The land games were followed by the "Raft Race" Suddenly the games got rougher and wetter. Er eath Meanwhile the "Godfather" just supervised. Fierce Competition and many cheaters started off the games with the "bean and Spoon" race. Drink, and Relaxation ey shook his head as an acorn bounced from it. ‘What's going on?”’ he grumbled. their small, exquisite, extremely select, haut, ‘eleve grand faisande Deli Quisine, The Colonial Hermanopterous!” _Like women do! THE MYSTERY of the GREAT STOLEN ACORN HOARD! A story for children 6 to 60. 2 BY JOHN STURROCK “Ma’am,” said Flash’ “have no fear, for I’m strictly a vegetarian! I love Zookini, Sookotash, lovely morning melons, and Ma’am, I am a radish freak, a cab- bage addict, a carrot chomper, a lettuce fanatic, and a connoiseur of roots and toobers! “tHe paused and thought, then he said, “but I’m not too keen on pickled bananas!” Then he leaned forward and put his head close to Miz Pinky’s kindly old quill covered ear. “I’m terrified of mice,” he whispered. “They terrify me badly!” He shuddered delicately and gazed at the sky. “Rosy Piglets, yech! Sun kissed prairie dogs, yech! yech! Protein rich bullheads, yech! yech! Tasty Crayfish, awg yech!” The eight wee Pinky Parky Pinelets galloped up to Flash and cried out in unison, “Mr. Palloo, you don’t gulp down Pinky Parky Pinelets do you?!! Flash looked down at the little ones clustered between his feet — like tiny quivering sea urchins! “What do you think I am, “he said smilingly, the Koomare Rouge? The Ayatullah of. the Smiling Meadow?” _ They giggled and giggled and fell all over themselves giggling. And Flash, still smiling said, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” “Ohh!” they shouted, “We want to be Mill Shifters, and Kawnrad has promised to teach us!” Miz Pinky looked him ‘up and down for a long moment. Then her quills subsided and her hard eyes be- came twinkly and kindly. ‘Well Mr. Palloo” she said, “I purely do believe you mean that sir, I purely do believe. But you must remember, Mr. Palloo, that a Mother of such as I am a Mother of, must make sure. Now Mr. Palloo you just sit right down here and have a nice hot mug of steaming tea!” : Little Whiffer looked over at Flash and grinned. “Welcome aboard Flash” he said. “Ay” grumbled Homer N. “Likewise” agreed Bullseye, who was awake and checking the ‘Pari-Mutuels’ before taking hisnap on Homer’s comfortable hump! So Flash joined the little group around the Acorn Tree and listened to the lazy talk and gabble. Miz Pinky brewed tea and looked to her young ones, fussing with them, teaching them cleanliness and how to count their quills before they hatched. The meadow was clean, and a little puff of cool air was tossing the leaf shadows in the tree. * Suddenly! Plunk! Then more plunks! Homer “Why Homer” said Miz Pinky. “I purely do believe it’s that Erie and Edgar Ant doing their shopping for “Oh!” said Homer N. “Aha!” said Flash, “Indeed!” quoth Whiffer (Smiling) “Naturally!” spoke Squawkz. “Of course!” squeaked Ernie. “Of course!” squeaked Edgar. Because all ants are exactly indentical, you will often find that they say the same thing at the same time about the same thing to the same person, consecutively. The two little ants scrambled down the Acom tree. “Hi Flash” squeaked Ernie. “Hi Flash” squeaked Edgar. “Hi Erie and Edgar said Flash, grinning at them. | “Need some help?” “We could use some,” they queaked, “‘We’re sande Deli Quisine, the Colonial Hermanopterous at three willow bongs past sunset.” Flash smiled and picked up the acorns, saying as he trudged away, ‘See you all folks, catch you later sort of thing!” *. _ Now Mrs. Peeper the Squeekeress person was not ’ one who would keep: her troubles to herself. She was a nasty, ambitious, parsimonious noisy nagger. She nagged everyone. She was the kind who makes her husband take rabies and distemper shots. Peeper, himself was an agi- tated voluble little tail jerker who barked at the whole world for nothing. And, when something did happen, the entire Feerfull Forest, The Smiling Meadow and the su- burbs of Toronto, Ontario, Canada knew about it! ; And wow! Was there noise! All of a sudden there was this clamour, clangour, clatter, uproar, hubub, hulla- baloo, racket, outcry, shouts, shrieks, barks, roars, whoops, bellows, yells, screams, screeches, howls, growls, snarls, snorts, gobbles, quacks, hoots, wails, snuffles, squeaks, cackles, clucks, bleats, twitters and hums buzzes and hisses. Everyone looked up quickly, became vastly aghast and suddenly worried. This was not your normal Peeper Person quarrel! “What is it?” they shouted up into the tree. “What has happened?” ‘** ‘The Great Stolen Acorn. Hoard’ has been stolen by a perpetrator or perpetrators unknown, and ‘The Great Stolen Acorn Hoard hole is empty, fully empty!’ ” No one spoke! Not a sound! Then Dr. Squawkz- Rawkus stood up and bowed gravely, solemnly. “This is wormwood and gall,’ he said. “This is heavy news, a treading upon one’s acorns! It is a callous ignorant stupid- ity, a caloric vandalism! It is the dull boorish lip slobber- ing contempt of some thick skinned, thick headed, hoof sucking four footed oaf. The spawn of decades of four footed oafism. The mocker, the dull derider, the bacteri- um who spoils! -Some malefactor (in malice) has perpre- trated a monstrous malfeasance. A freakish, horrid, exy crabble, scandalous, evil working, non pudibend, non prudent deed! The ultimate red neckism! Whoever did this is a sordid squalid disgustful roguish and bad bad bad perpetrator. He uses eye drops for a deodorant and washes his face with his glasses on. So-look for someone with soapy glasses and clean hooves!” Cassiar Courier September 1980 Page 5 Suddenly Ernie got up and began to singsqueek softly and sadly and slowly and shyly and sweetly and smoothly, to the tune of ‘The Battle Hymn of the Republic’ “We must we must we must we must We must improve our trust We must improve our trust our. trust We must improve our trust” Then Edgar sang “For we’re a lot of little flotsams And a handful of jetsam too We’re not too far from heaven But still a little too close to the zoo.” Then Homer rumbled “‘Someone’s stolen our acorns And we jolly well don’t know who It could be any one of us So I can’t be: sure of you” Then Flash howled “Oh — someone here is very slinky Someone’s heart is kind of kinky He’s secret sad alone and twisty finky And he’s done us a horrible wrong.” Oleh!!! * Now Ernie and Edgar Ant are ants of ineffable worthi- ness! For one thing, they don’t piddle on car tires. For another, they were owners and operators of a small, exquisite, extremely etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. (As a matter of fact, I do believe that John Shepheard and Allan Davies worked there for two blissfull summers! At twelve acorns per hour!) Flash Palloo ate there constantly, because he was a vegetarian. He had left the nest at three weeks of age be- cause he didn’t care for milk or field mice. So for months this tiny bit of fluff hung around the meadow, living under a wet leaf and staring at the world with wide seal like terrified. But he survived! Mainly because of © Ernie and Edgar and John and Allan, who fed the little foxlet whatever was on the menu of their small, _ exquisite etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. So there he was. A richly burnished coppery little fox with a long narrow catch-all head, big soft hear-all ears, long white chew-all carrot chomping teeth, senisi- tive smell-all nostrils, glittering see-all eyes, and a very lively set of know-all brains. 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