SP 43 Page 14, February. 1981 Cassiar Courier THE MYSTERY of the GREAT STOLEN ACORN HOARD! A story for children 6 to 60. BY JOHN STURROCK The very next morning it was raining. Just what they needed - low clouds, mist and wet grass. It must be Saturday or Sunday, thought Miz Pinky or someone planned a picnic! She looked around the meadow. Homer Nathaniel, Bullseye and Flash Palloo were still asleep. Big Basil was hang- ing from a branch right side up because of his artheritus. Ernie and Edgar Ant were in their lit- tle tent of two Poplar leaves, and Doctor Squawks-Rawkus was perched on the lawn chair gloomily- preening himself. Little Whiffer was obviously there although he couldn’t be seen. Peeper the Squeeker could be heard, but he couldn't be seen either. “Well’’ said Miz Pinky to herself, ‘‘l purely do believe that there's no sense in hating the rain or © fearing for the future. What we need is a nice fat sparking fire and a pot of tea and good pan fried cornbread toast!’ With this she turned and marched to the centre of the meadow. ‘‘Mr. Whiffer,’’ she shouted, ‘‘! purely do believe you are here so you just skedaddle on out.” “Why Miz Pinky’ answered Whiffer, “how on earth did you know | was here. | do surely de- clare, Miz Pinky, that you cannot be fooled.” “Never mind that now, Mr. Whiffer,” said Miz Pinky smiling, “You just rustle up some dry wood for a fire and we'll have a nice hot mug of ° tea and some delicious corn bread toast!” “Well Miz Pinky,” said Whiffer smiling and bow- ing deeply. “‘it is always a joy and bountiface to be of some assistance to you, Ma’am, and may | say. Miz Pinky that when this war is over may | dare request that we plight our troth and so be joined lovingly and forever in marital bliss, Ma’am, and connubial joy?”’ © “Why Mr. Whiffer,”’ giggled Miz Pinky, ‘‘you scalawag! You just get that wood now. There is time and place for everything | purely do be-- live, Mr. Whiffer! And | do declare, sir, that when the fire is warm and the cornbread is good ‘ and: the tea is steaming, one is ready to listen, sir.’ Miz Pinky turned and marched to the Acorn Tree and looked up at Big Basil Glurp. “‘How are you feeling this morning, Mr. Glurp?”’ “Not too tolerable well, Miz Pinky” said Big Basil, ‘‘my artheritus ~creaks and snaps and | ache all over. | had to sleep right side up all night and the blood rushes to where it shouldn't. It makes me dizzy and | can’t navigate!”’ “Well now’’ answered Miz Pinky, ‘‘we'll have a fire going and it will get you young and limber ‘in no time!” Just then Peeper the Squeeker pushed out of the Acorn Hoard hole. “‘Well, Miz Pinky” he shout- . ed cheerfully, ‘‘what can | do, Ma’am, to assist you in my own amiable but insignificant way?”’ “Well, Mr. Peeper,” said Miz Pinky, “‘! purely do believe, sir, that you could go over to the house of square trees wherein dwells the lawn chair monster!”’ Peeper grinned and chippered and danced. ‘‘You bet | could, you bet | could, yer darn tootin’ dooley!” “Good, Good,” said Miz Pinky. ‘‘Do you think that you could rustle up some chitlins, some bubble and squeak, a bit of this and a bit of that to go in the pot for stomach and comfort?”’ “1 better make a list’” he murmurred and dived back into the Acorn Hoard Hole, reappearing with shopping bag and paper. “‘He’s going to need more than a list’’ grumbled the gloomy voice of Homer Nathaniel. ‘‘He’s going to need me!”’ : “Me, too” said Flash. “We, too,’ squeeked Ernie and Edgar = ‘‘We'll get the cracked eggs grade A large!” ‘*! will attend to the tea, my dear, the sugar, my dear, and pour dios the marmite and marmalade” quoth Dr. Squawks-Rawkus, with extreme dig- nity. Flash Palloo stepped up to Miz Pinky. “Allow me, Miz Pinky, to congratulate you, most highly Ma’am, most highly! In view of oncom- ing events, my dear, or depending upon the whim of destiny, that mugger of life who des- troys without reason, or prolongs without need, who withholds reward and punishes the child, may |, my dear, be best animal at your wedding should you accept the kind and loving and faith- full paw of Mr. Whiffer? And may |, my dear, venture to suggest that it is not possible to select another husband who would do as well as he! Of | had course, children will be a problem! Miz Pinky looked at Flash. Her face twinkling and smiling. “! purely do believe, Mr. Palloo, that you mean that! Why that’s just fussy non- sense. Only a fool steals time and it is little use to him, for he does not know how to spend it. He spills the water that he drinks!”” Flash grinned and bowed, “I know where there’s a sack of cornmeal that belongs to the lawn chair monster. He’s breeding Cornish Game hens to supplement his diet.”’ At this moment there was a rustling in the grass, and a long line of ants marched by with tiny twinkling firefly lamps hung up on their feelers. They proceeded steadily across the wet meadow toward the house of square trees. Beside them, looming in the almost darkness of dawn, blot- ting out the moon was Homer Nathaniel with Bullseye on the hump and Squawks-Rawkus on the Rump. Flash excused himself: and ran to join them, leav- ing Miz Pinky to herself and her thoughts. And . so, with her forces dispersed doing useful things and therefore happy, she sat down and calmly planned the day. She was a tough old scrapper - bramble tough. and flower sweet. She was that kind who could rise to command an.army when the need was there, and with the campaign won, could retire contentedly to her front stoop again, It wasn’t long before they returned — Whiffer with a huge bundle of nice dry sparking fire- wood, Ernie and Edgar Ant and relatives stagger- ed in with two cases of cracked eggs Grade A large, Flash slipped silently back bearing a large bag of Alberta Fine ground cornmeal, Homer re- turned laden with a pound of butter, cranberry sauce,.a jug of corn syrup, rings of garlic sausage and French bread, a large non stick skillet and a box of kitchen matches. And it wasn't long be- fore the flames were writhing about the cracking wood, sending sparks gusting into the dull sky. The pot was boiling and the cornmeal chipatties were toasting, the sausage sizzling and hot mugs of tea were being passed around. Such food, such company, such warriors. The conversation became light hearted, buoyant, even mildly boastful as courage rose with the filling of stom- achs. Dangerous Dog Danny was watching. He felt lone ley and sorry for himself. He was tame and tied up and Miz Pinky and them all were wild and free. In spite of all that we dogs have done, he thought, even after centuries of sit up and roll over and beg, and mountains of Doggie Chow. crisp and crunchy and good for hair, teeth and gums, he was still just an animal under his pro- tein rich hide. I’m not even allowed to have a girlfriend. The man charges money for that. My nearest friend is tied up two blocks away and, worst of all, the lawn chair monster put me on bread and watér because | refused to cross the picket line. And look at Miz Pinky and all of them. smiling and talking and munching corn- bread. My mouth just tingles for a hunk of corn- bread toast with garlic sausage. Bread and water! Fah! Doggy Chow, Fah! I’m going to defect. I’m going to join solidarity. Miz Pinky and them get three meals a day. | only get one! And I’m ex- pected to sit at my master’s knee, so he can scratch my head and call me nice doggie, nice doggie. And if | don’t wag my tail all the time, -he gives me worm pills. That’s a laugh! A worm would starve on my rations. If | could speak English, a few hitherto unconsidered viewpoints would be howled and barked for all to under- stand. And they would appreciate my value in the lonely hours of the night, midst rain and sleet and cold and hot and wind and snow and dust! | frighten burglars. Now that’s something! If | frighten people | get worm pills again! As Dangerous Dog Danny was mournfully mus- ing, Miz Pinky had been watching him. Finally she summoned Peeper and bade him go over to Danny: and invite him to the hearth circle. Pee- per was delighted, because life to a squirrel was a series of high speed activities. Split second short jumps! So he bounced cheerfully over the cold wet grass and popped up a scant two inches from Dangerous Dog Danny’s moist nose. “Hi, D.D.D.”’ he shouted. “Hi Peeper’’ replied Dangerous Dog Danny. “Why don't you come over and join us animals - at the hearth circle?”’ “Well, I'll be dog gone” roared D.D.D. “did you call me an animal? You don’t know how good that makes me feel! I’ve been a dog for so long I've forgotten what it is to be an animal.” < “Well’’ said Peeper thoughtfully, ‘‘l guess one of your ancestors sold his birthrite for a mess of doggy chow!”’~ “Wahoo” howled D.D.D., “I’m going to run away from my cocomat, my winter kennel, my pile of imitation chewy dog bones, my water- proof manual of obedience training. I’m going to cast away my genuine brass license tag. To hell with sin descriptions and phone numbers. I’m going to the cave and freedom. I’m going to become an animal and have a harem again. O lucky me!” “Don't count your puppies. before they hatch,” said Peeper, “freedom ain’t all that good and female animals ain’t what they used to be. They’re organized and wear male hides all the time. Some of them got tatoos and grow beards and they got lawyers!” - “Never mind that” howled Danny. “‘l'll give them equality in the harem. Just help me get rid of this collar.” continued on Page 16. 524 ) BE ep ® FISHING AND HUNTING LICENSES AVAILABLE Ammunition, Game Bags, Gun Cleaning Kits, Skinning Knives, Smokers, 2 _, Fishing Tackle ® NEW HOURS R MONDAY TO FRIDAY NOON TO 3:00 P.M. : 6:00 TO 8:00 P.M. & SATURDAY NOON TO 4:00 P.M. h SUNDAYS & HOLIDAYS CLOSED ; “EVERYTHING FOR THE SPORTSMAN” BS PHONE 778-7736 a S Reet 1 SAFETY BINGO Alex Joseph - Second Line Winner Game 19. He chose a Black & Decker Workmate as his_ prize. Hans Blaschitz First Line Winner Game 19. He chose a Men’s Timex Digital Watch as his prize. 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