6 Opinion

“i may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say

it ”

~ Voltaire

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Why don't we all just get
stoned, get drunk and... ?

EVERALD CREARY
CONTRIBUTOR

Yeah, come on, Why don't we all just get stoned,
get drunk and sing beer-drinking songs? ‘This sarcas-
tic but humorous song was done by the famous Mac
Davis and I think it was in reference to the condition
of things in America. The chorus:

“Why don't we all just get stoned, Get drunk and
sing beer-drinking songs. Between Brezhnev and
Begin, Khomeini and Reagan, We might as well all
just get stoned.’

At this time in the religious world, I think the
church is singing the same thing by our lifestyle.“ Why
dont we all just get stoned, get drunk and sing beer-
drinking songs. Forget about the scriptures on which
we claim to have our foundation. Lets all just get to-
gether and get drunk!”

Forget what the bible says about homosexuality,
forget what the bible says about the Seventh day Sab-
bath, forget what the bible says about the standard of
perfection in Jesus Christ that is to be attained. Lets
just put the standards aside and come together and
get drunk. Let none of us‘rock the boat’ or disturb the
unity by pointing out sin — as described by the scrip-
tures, upon which we claim our foundation. Let us
just accommodate everyone. After all, we don’t want
to be charged for hate crime. Why don't we all just
get drunk?

Either we claim ourselves as another group of phil-
anthropists, moralists, good doers or just drinkers but
not as bible believing Christians because our lifestyles
and standards are not supporting the scriptures we
claim as our foundation. Be honest, chose a group but
don’t claim Christianity and be blatantly disregarding
its standards.

What does the the scriptures say about a homosex-
ual lifestyle? It is a sin, Does my statement constitute
a hate crime? If I say murder is a sin according to the
standards of the scriptures — upon which the church
claims to rest her faith — is that a hate crime? How
about if I say stealing? What about covetousness?
So how comes none of these mean that I hate the
people that practice such but if I say homosexuality
is a sin I’m guilty of hate crime? Christians, what is
our stance!? God loves all sinners and hopes that all
will come to repentance. He does not hide the fact
that sin is sin — wherever it is found. Does that mean

HE hates sinners, what about homosexuals, or mut-
derers, does HE hate them? No, God loves all and
so do I. Make no mistake though, according the the
scriptures — upon which the church claims to follow
— homosexuality is a sin. If I’m considered a party
breaker then please accept my apologies. I do not
wish to get drunk,

What about the Seventh day Sabbath? Forget that
too? Upon what authority is the sacredness of the
Seventh day Sabbath (Saturday) transferred to Sun-
day — the first day of the week? Is it upon the author-
ity of the scriptures? The economy and the ‘church’
has chosen to ignore the words of God and forget
the Seventh day Sabbath. No blame to the ‘world’ be-
cause they make no profession of living according to
scriptures but what about the church — upon what is
our foundation?

So we have disregarded the word of God and made
our own standards of perfection. Forget that the
scriptures seek perfection from us (through Jesus).
After all, we are not so ‘bad’. We are not murderers,
we are not thieves, we don't violate hate crimes, we
keep a day holy — regardless of the day. We have gay
priests and pastors now leading our church — we have
fairly voted about that. We are not so bad, What is
the standard of perfection set by scriptures? Why do
we feel comfortable satisfying our own standards that
we have set up? None of us are breaking the unity
by pointing out sin, as explained by scriptures. None
of us ‘rocking the boat: All of us are all drinking the
same drunken cup, If I’m considered a party breaker
please accept my apologies - I do not wish to get
drunk,

“And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying,
“Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become
a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul
spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird!
For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the
wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have
committed fornication with her, and the merchants
of the earth have become rich through the abundance
of her luxury.’ And I heard another voice from heaven
saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share
in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. For
her sins have reached to heaven, and God has re-
membered her iniquities,’(Rev. 18:2-5)

January 13, 2010 + Over the Edge

On New Year's Resolutions

SHELBY PETERSEN
NEWS EDITOR

I have never been a fan of making new
years resolutions. It is not that I have
anything against self-improvement or

reaching personal goals, it is just that
I believe New Year’s Resolutions come
from the wrong place.

First, New Years comes right in the middle of the
year (as far as I am concerned), and starting fresh really
doesn't make sense at this point in time. Moreover, not
even the Canadian fiscal year starts when the“New Year”
does, but rather on April 1st.

Second, most resolutions made for the New Year are
forced and done out of an obligation to social constructs
rather than a need for self improvement. If someone ac-
tually wanted to better himself he would not wait until
an arbitrary date, but begin the improvements as soon as
possible. Furthermore, making New Year's Resolutions
has become so cliché that hardly anyone strays from the
usual list (lose weight, cut down on debt, help others,
learn something new, and procrastinate less), While all
of the aforemnetioned things are probably good goals for
one to reach, they are hardly revolutionary,

‘Third, a recent study has suggested that only 12% of
people actually achieve their New Year's Resolutions.
This poor success rate is due large in part to the sever-
ity of the resolutions in question. Instead, setting easily
obtainable goals most people set broad goals which are

easy to lose sight of.

Maple Syrup News

The news that lacks credibility and style

Haakon Sullivan - Columnist/Production Coordinator

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY SHELBY PETERSEN

For example, instead of saying “This year I am going to
lose weight,’ one should set smaller more specific goals
such as “This year 1 am going to loose 10 pounds.’ Smaller
goals are easier to obtain and have higher success rates.
Moreover, once one has achieved a small goal, one may
feel more empowered to go further, thus achieving more
than they set out to.

If it were up to me, I would suggest that if it is neces-
sary for you to make resolutions that you do so in the fall.
September is the best time to draft a list of resolutions,
especially if you are a student, September is the time of
year when one must return to the real world, whether one
is a student returning to school or a proffessional return-
ing from his or her summer holiday. The fall is also an
optimal time for change because the world around you is
also in transition. Furthermore, the fall represents a time
when one must spend more time indoors and therefore
has more time to devote to oneself because of the cooler
weather and less day light.

This year, instead of trying to make outrageous resolu-
tions that you will not fulfill make simple goals for your-
self through out the year and continually improve upon
yourself. This way, you can become a better person who
weighs less, has more money, and doesn't procrastinate
before anyone else has even begun to start their Resolu-
tions. After all, it is always better to deal with a problem
when it develops rather than waiting a year to fix it.

Attention!

A UNBC Student is probably
looking at this spot right now

The new year looked much
darker for the world as the
World Expo for 2010 has suf-
fered a major setback. Haibao,
the mascot for Expo 2010,
has gone on a rampage. This
spongy blue demon broke free
of his shackles on New Years
Eve and began to raise terror in
downtown Shanghai.

“It is an absolute tragedy,’
lamented General Hing Tao of
the Chinese National Guard,
“We built this man-like crea-
ture of blue goo to help con-
nect and unify the world and
he breaks free.” The Chinese
army has been on high alert
searching for the elusive blue
goo man ever since he broke
free from his cage in the Cisco
Paviliason and began to wander
around in a bewildered state.
“Tr was his... its first time out

in the world,’ commented liv-
ing goo expert Dr. Ineda Job.
“Tt was clearly overwhelmed by
his surroundings. Lucky for it,
it managed to find some help
from a kind stranger on the
street. Who knows what could
have happened to it?”

On New Years Day he was
found by American Wilbur B.
Ergut who was one of the 200
tourists in the world who has
heard of the World Expo for
2010 and recognized Haibao
wandering around the Jin Mao
Tower. Ergut immediately left
the nearby Starbucks and ap-
proached Haibao.

“Poor little blue bugger,’
Ergut solemnly. “He... it didn't
know where it was! I had to
help it remember that it was
in China and that it was a
[Chinese person].’ So Ergut

wt

COURTESY OF WORLD EXPO 2010

brought the creature back
to his hotel room and told it all
about China — from its history
to its culture. The goo was then
excited and proud about his
country and became so titillat-
ed that he fled from Ergut and
began to tell his fellow Chinese
about what he learned.

“It is a simple thing,’ General
Tao stated. “It’s beautiful how
it loves its country... but it both

knows too much and knows
too little. It’s telling our people
about the incident involving
the students and the four sided
shape and telling people that
they should eat more General
Tso’s Chicken, This attitude is
most unwelcome and it must
be stopped.” And so the hunt
began.

The Chinese put their mil-
itary on high alert and began
hunting for the misguided blue
patriot. The government issued
a press release telling all Chi-
nese citizens to ignore what-
ever the blue goo tells them.

The response from the pub-
lic was mixed. Some called
for a national boycott of the
TV show Gumby while others
simply asked, “There's a World
Expo? Why is it spawning

goo?”

“We will find this goo! If
people listen to it then we lose
China!” growled the General as
he snapped his Bic pencil. He
then turned on his iPod and
began listening to Iron Maiden.
“Now if you excuse me, I have
a Big Mac coming for lunch. It
better come with an Orange
Fanta.”

It is unknown what effect this
will have on the World Expo
this year, but rumours are that
the organizers will purchase
Sumi, Quatchi, and Miga from
Vancouver after the Winter
Olympics. That is, if the same
disaster does not not strike the
games; fortunately, no one has
an idea of what it means to be
a Canadian.

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