November 30,1999

Kornered On Kampus

By Dana Schwehr

Well, thanks to the
help | got from the
guys last issue, |
managed to pass
my midterms. Even
Linear Algebra, so
However, all the
effort | put into
studying killed my
creativity for a little
while, so | had a
hard time thinking
of a question for this

issue. | finally decid-
ed that this week,
the readers would
tell me what they
thought | should
ask. After all, get-
ting the opinions of
students is the pur-
pose of Kornered,
and input from oth-
ers is almost always
helpful. Now, | can
be even more effec-
tive, by talking
about things that

students want to
hear about. Plus |
thought it would
save me from think-
ing of a question
myself, possibly for
the next few
months. So, the
question | decided
to ask this week is,

“lf = you wrote
Kornered on
Kampus, what

would you ask?”

“If you wrote Kornered On Kampus,
what sort of question would you ask?”

1 would ask why
Aubrey doesn’t
bleach his hair.
Richard, 2nd (I
think) year
International
Studies

| would ask what
facilities are most
important to them,
because | heard
they’re building a
sports complex or a
NUGSS _ building,
with a gym and
stuff, and I’m think-
ing they should put
a pool in there...
Jennifer, 1st year
Environmental
Studies

When the new
buildings are actu-
ally going to be
built, and the new
gym and everything
like that.

Tanya, 1st year
Social Work

K?

| don’t know...what
was the question
again? How do you
eat your Reese’s?
Haydee, 2nd year
Resource Based
Tourism

IDE BY dream this

Uh...What’s your
favorite brand of toi-
let paper?

Joe,
History

3rd = year

shouldn't

Why
Team @$$Kicker

be made into an
official club?
Jeff, 4th
Forestry

year

Do you take your
dishes back to the
tray?
Dev,
Forestry

4th year

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Last week was your week to shine.
This is your week to panic. The essay
is due, labs have to be finished, your
have have 5 courses, but somehow
you managed to have 7 exams and
because it is the end of the month all
of your bills have arrived, but your last
pay cheque bounced, boy am | glad
I’m not an Aries.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You and your significant other have
finished all of your work and breath-
lessly await the end of the semester.
By the way, your roommates have
something to say about your state of
breathlessness and the noises that
accompanied the actions that caused
your state.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

This your lucky week with xmas right
around the corner, and all. You will
have a little trouble juggling studying

and getting an air freshener for your .

Aunt. You may also have other trou-
bles stemming from a small dog and
a roll of duct tape, don’t ask me what
that means, | just read the signs, |
don’t interpret them.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Leaving the laundry alone for a
week, other things about you have
come to my attention. Remember
that person who smiled at you in the
hall? Don’t even think about. it, they
were laughing because your shirt
was sticking out your fly. Oh, one
other thing, your best friend will make
you a gift of deodorant. Take the
advice, trust me. Do it for all of us.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)

Again this is not your week to shine.
All signs point to your not achieving
anything not matter what they are in,
especially relationships. _

Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)

Mike is not happy about being
locked in the trunk. Look to get well
cards and chocolate to sooth your
fears and his anger. Pray your story
about demon possession works, and
he blames everything on the devil.

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22)

Over The Edge Page 13

Your day planner is from 1988.) —
Unfortunately this had also effected
your fashion sense. You now realize
why you were having so much trouble
with ceiling fans, your wall o’ hair was
just too much for the modern archi-
tecture. Fortunately you will fit right in
during the next back the ‘80’s fest.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)

Your lack of sexual progress is
matched only by your dimming wit,
which really explains your progress
doesn’t it? Stay home for a week or
so, don't see anybody, don’t even
look in the mirror. Things will start to
look up, eventually. Unplug the TV,
you don’t wani to fall into that whole
game show/soap cycle again.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)

Your under achievement in locomo-
tion has been topped by reducing
your friend’s truck to scrap on Prince
George’s second snowfall of the year.
Back to the heal and toe express for
you. It’s unfortunate you moved to
that apartment in Quesnel right
before exams, isn’t it.

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)

Doctors will not find the ailment you
have been suffering from. All you
need it TLC and time to heal what
she has done to you. Confusion
reigns but the future will be better.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)

Last week you got a pretty lame
horoscope didn’t you. Well this
week’s won”t be much better. You
crystal ball just gets all foggy when |
mention Aquarius, this could mean
one of two things: a. you have no
future, your world will end within the
next couple of days or b. | really have
to stop spilling chowder all over my
crystal ball.

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)

You are no longer the Tetris high
score champion, but hey at least your
essay has returned. You may just
have enough time to hand it in with-
out getting marks taken off for late-
ness. Run, Run now.