12 funnies

September 22, 2010 + Over the Edge

The one university quiz that requires no studying

ECATERINA CIUGUREANU
FEATURES EDITOR

Living in residence for three years is sort of like a Jedi training experience. A lot of
wisdom is passed on from a senior to a freshman. Like an anthropologist infiltrating
a wild tribe you respectfully learn the ways of others. Also, if your best friend looks
like Thumbelina but drinks like a sailor, life teaches you a thing or two. Oh hell, why
am | rationalizing? It’s a hard knock life for us kids, and sometimes this is just the
way life goes down. So if this weekend you over drink, be it by a shot or a bottle,
hopefully my quiz will help you out.

PS: | do not endorse drinking and you should NOT be drinking period. That's right:
| wrote out the word period and finished with the symbol. This is a serious issue!
You can get liver cirrhosis and DIE. Plus, hangovers are simply the worst.

& | enjoy a vitamin or two, hey, they are good for you!
@ | eat when lam sad.

# | tried meditating and | liked it.

& | keep Tylenol or Advil handy in case | get a headache.
@ Chicken soup is the best cold medicine.

ee When | am sick, | believe plenty of fluids and rest are the best cure.

4 | believe in modern medicine.
@ Didn't | just say food is the best medicine?

# | feel that we over complicate things in the modern world; | am all for folk
remedies.

If you mostly picked 4: The Mick Jagger

Some ideas include taking 2-3 vitamin B’s a couple of hours before you start
drinking or before you go to sleep, vitamin C the morning after, and Pepto-Bismol,
BUT do NOT take aspirin.

If you mostly picked #: The Oprah
Your local Dr. Oz recommends a nice greasy breakfast at Denny’s, mineral rich
foods, as well as ginger ale or Gatorade, BUT avoid caffeine!

if you mostly picked #: The Bob Dylan

Try taking a shower, exercising, or perhaps even drinking some pickle juice like
they do in good ole’ Poland, BUT that whole “start drinking again to cure the
hangover” thing... don’t do that.

And remember! Drink lots of water!

PS: | do not guarantee a quick (or any) recovery.

ONLINE SOURCE

Has this ever been you?

the band is on fire!

JOHN HALL

Front man Jay Malinowski comments after some students pulled the fire alarm in

the NUSC building causeing the band to take a brief break

Looking for a Roommate!

We have a large unoccupied bedroom in a
beautiful house and would like to share it with
another cool UNBC student!

We are two UNBC students living in a beautiful house
in lower College Heights. The house has a fireplace,
deck, backyard, laundry, and great colours on the
walls. The kitchen is big and open; perfect for cooking
tasty meals. The price is $460/month, which includes
heat, electricity, and Internet. Looking for someone
great to move in for the month of JANUARY 2011.
The house is located in a good neighbourhood, and is
very close to the university — the bus stop is just out-
side our house and comes every thirty minutes. Give
me a call, or shoot me an email if you're interested!

Telephone: 250.552.9491
"

Email: shapiroj@unbc.ca