PR OVE: ‘RTI a 1: EDGE ¥ WHILE NTRY Olympic protesters line 15th Avenue along the torchbearer route, January 29. They Didn’t Start the Fire, But They Tried to Fight it Andrew Bailey Editor in Chief During a recent vacation on Facebook I was reminded by one of my more influential ex ladies of my patented d.d. theory. She was thank- ing me for the work I had done and the consequential benefits that had been bestowed upon her since the fruits of my research were realized. My original d.d. theory alone was impressive enough, however when I created a second d.d. theory which I initially considered independent of the first, similar in name alone, I realized the two were dualistic which lead to numerous discoveries of priceless patterns and propelled me into the level of UNBC elite that allowed for me to eventually become the Editor in Chief of this fine publication. My apologies to those who are unaware of these theories, or perhaps more accurately this single super-theory, but I have since entered a hiatus from social science and, where once I proudly boasted my theories with the gumption of a male peacock during mating season, I now keep these works locked in a reclusive mind-vault similar to Bobby Fischer's. To those of you who do remember, and indeed live by, the conclusions of my hypotheses: well done, and you're welcome. The above has absolutely nothing to do with this article, or really with anything, I can’t remember what my point was and reading over what I've written so far it seems to me I was just bragging about stuff that happened over five years ago. Sorry about that, but you've already read it and I don't have a time machine so you'll always have read it. We can only hope that in time you will learn to live with that fact. Despite not having a point to that story, I do have a reason for tell- ing it to you. You've got A.D.D., or maybe even A.D.H.D., and since my primary role here is to cater to my demographic I can't expect you to focus on the same topic for too long. Otherwise you'll get bored and drop your juice-box which will consequentially stain the carpet/couch/ bus-cushion youre sitting on. I can't have you losing focus, this topic is too important for that! Therefore due to the density and intensity regarding the calamity in VanCity, this article will be rife with the recesses and smoke breaks that you require to shake all your sillies out and get back to focusing. Now, in words directly opposite to those spoken by Andrew Bailey to the sweet, sweet lady he dated at the tender yet life- forming age of 15, let's take this slow. The Olympic Torch has a hazy origin of a purpleur nature, as it was first introduced during the 1928 Olympic Games held in Amsterdam. The Torch Relay however, does not have such mellow origins as it was a creation by the Nazis to promote the 1936 Games in Berlin. Thus the Torch Relay was created to promote the Olympics that were held to promote Aryan supremacy. Hitler's Nazi's had hoped and assumed that their Olympics would prove to the world the existence of a master race, Germany did in fact win the most medals that year, however it was a superhero named Jesse who definitely stole the show and stuck it to Hitlet’s nonsensicalism. As we all know Jesse Owens showed up in Berlin and won 4 Gold Medals in a single day, humiliating Hitler who stormed out of the track- and-field stadium after Owens 2nd Gold. For those of you who are in the dark on this one, Owens was an African-American and Hitler was a wee-bit of a racist. What I want to do here is spend the rest of the column focusing on the fact that due to the racism prevalent in America, Owens returned home to the opposite of a heros welcome and was forced to declare bankruptcy three years after defying the Nazis. He was never in- vited to the White House and was in fact blatantly ignored by President Franklin Roosevelt. But we're focusing on the Vancouver Olympics and I don't want to steer off the path. So, Hey DJ bring that back: While the Games are being held in Vancouver this weekend there will be a fasci- nating Exhibit entitled “More Than Just Games: Canada and the 1936 Olympics and Framing Bodies: Sport and Spectacle in Nazi Germany” on display at the Vancouver Holocaust Education Centre. Olympic organizers are never sure how to deal with the history of the 1936 Olympic Games, with VANOC (Vancouver Organizing Commit- tee for the 2010 Olympic Games) being no exception. Seriously though, how terrible is the acronym VANOC? I wasn't going to say anything but who decided to take 3 letters from the first word, then the first let- ter from the next 2, and no letters from the rest? In any case, VANOC has been criticized for including a clip from Leni Riefenstahl’s Olym- pia, a film shot for the 1936 Games, in an Olympic promotional video. In the original version of the film there are images of people giving the Stirring things UP since 1994 February 10 - 24 2010 Tyler Clarke, Production Coordinator ‘Heil Hitler’ salute. VANOC's video blurs these salutes out, which has outraged Spencer Herbert, the NDP tourism critic, who commented “I think this is offensive. If you're going to use the footage, acknowledge... where it's from. And have some sort of remark about that dark period of the Olympics. Or you don't use the footage. But to go in and try to cor- rect the politically incorrect, the Heil Hitler, and try to hide the footage, it’s just insulting to history.’ From all this, we can deduce that the 1936 Olympics is a sensitive subject, the fact that it was this very Olympics that began the tradition of the Olympic Torch Relay, which Prince George took part in for the first time on January 29th, conjoins the two. Therefore the Torch Relay is stuck in a swamp of dark connotations that’s thicker than Joan Hol- loway’s hips. Add to this swamp: the number of B.C. schools that have been closed, the number of homeless people who have been displaced, the tragic environmental costs, a Wolfgang Puck sized dinner bill for the city of Vancouver which the grandkids of kids who havent even been born yet will still be paying off. Throw in some rumours of local clinics becoming obsolete while Olympic tourists are catered to, and the police forces in non-Vancouver cities being forced to operate with dangerously low staff to ensure safe and secure tourists in Vancouver. Mix in a little batch of freedom of speech being ripped to shreds as our provincial gov- ernment calls an unofficial state of Marshall Law in which “Free Speech Zones” are created by barbed wire fences and hidden from view. Dice in some of the fact that for some reason the medals for these Olympics are the most expensive ever made and are huge. Throw in a dash of the patented Canadian refusal to be told what to do, and you've got yourself one hell of a reason to protest, which is exactly what happened at the Exhibition Grounds of Prince George on January 29th. Vancouver's official Torch Relay started in Olympia, Greece, (yeah Greece is still a country, I didn’t know that either. The Romans must be pissed about that, sitting around all grumpy in their measly city while Greece struts its own freakin’ country around.) It traveled out of Olym- pia and onwards throughout this planet we call earth until it will finally reach Vancouver in time to star in the Opening Ceremonies. On its way it passed through Prince George, which gave locals a chance to spurn it. Continued on Page 2