Recipes for Disaster

by: Rory N. Conroy

Pizza: Making pizza need
not be big deal. Below is a
really easy recipe. I'll even
show you how to cheat later!:

Ingredients:

2 1/2 cups flour
1pkg. Yeast (tbsp).
1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp sugar
1tbsp olive oil

Spices; garlic
oregano, basil.

powder,

De Base - to base or not to
base that is the question. You
can use a can of tomato
paste or pesto. (available in
pasta section or cooler) Add
spices to the base as desired.

Toppings - = Sprinkle
cheese on, then the other
ingredients, then more spices
if you wish and finally more
cheese, please!

Fromage en Trois

If you have a passion for cho-
lesterol, select any three
cheeses that you like and fly
at it! -- Ah, let me rephrase
that ; no flies please! No not
fries, flies!! No!! Or forget the
whole thing and just go for
the “en trois”!

Pupperoni

Any meat will work. | prefer
products that | can readily
identify as non-domesticated
or that | have not seen on
National Geographic.
Besides some of your guests
may be less than adventur-
ous.” EEYAH taystes jus
lyke Chiken” may not be
amusing to them nor move
them to anything more spon-
taneous than a --- GUY-
ATURP!!

Kich N Sync

Just use you imagination!!
Somewhere in the twilight
zone between grocery and
garbage is an astonishing
array of quite questionable

Crust: In ar large bowl, basin, bedpan, like whatever, combine 1 3/4
cups of flour, yeast, sugar, salt - stir. Add 1 cup of very hot waters, the oil -
stir. Add the remaining flour. (for those of you that are mathematically
challenged, that’s like another 3/4 cups of flour - du-ah!! Once you have
mixed well, sprinkle a little flour on the counter and dump the dough onto
it. Now comes the fun part. The dough, need you, oh so passionately, to
massage it! Roll it into a ball, push down, quarter turn, push down and
repeat until you are hot a sweaty.. Cover and let sit for 10 minutes or so.
Spray your pizza pan or whatever; roll out dough into two crusts or press

onto the pans.

Cooking: cook in oven for approx. 20-30 minutes at 425°F. or until crust
is crisp and cheese is melted.

Note: perfectly round pizzas are not Italian!!

ingredients that can be
applied to pizza crusts. | like
to ensure that my ingredients
do not have a greenish hue,
are not fuzzy and don’t either
quiver or blink. Always check
twice because some of those
guys operate in “stealth
mode”. (nah-nuh, nah-nuh,
nah-nuh) Oh yes! Things that
emit puffs or gaseous clouds

are not recommended.
Noxious weed is entirely up
to you.

1. Cheating 101 - instead of
making the crust use a pre-
made one or tortilla shells.
(shells or skins as | call them,
are great for snacks, unex-
pected company and hors
d’oevres)

2. Ladies note: this yeast is
your friends!

3. Don’t test the water with
anything you consider neces-
sary to future family planning.

4. Then call me!

A Lesson In

TAKE THE CREDIT |

If you have a university degree in ANY field you may |
_ be able to obtain a BCIT Diploma in one year.

BCIT’s direct entry and post diploma business |
| programs can fast-track you into a career in:

Business Administration
Finance/Financial Planning

Human Resource Management
International Trade and Transportation -
Operations Management

Professional Accounting

APPLY NOW FOR FALL 2001

Sees Sa S

Judgement

| am writing in response to
the article entitled “ Sorority
Whore”, published March
26, 2001.

| congratulate the writer of
the piece for her profound
interest in women’s rights,
however, if she had both-
ered to question the woman

| For More Info on
| Accounting/Finance:
| Allan Cobbett

| Associate Dean

| Financial Management
| (604) 432-8898
| acobbett@bcit.ca

For More Info on
Other Programs:
Chris Clark
Associate Dean
Business and Operations
(604) 451-6714
cclark@bcit.ca

www. beit.ca

BRITISH COLUMBIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY

herself as to why she was
wearing the shirt that night, it
is likely that this article
would never have been writ-
ten.” Nonetheless, this piece
can be used to reiterate the
importance of establishing
the facts before laying
judgement.

| realize that it is inherently
difficult for some people to
refrain from drawing conclu-
sions based on a person’s

outward appearance. Even
| am guilty at times of estab-
lishing judgement before |
am rightfully informed of the
situation, although, | have
never had the guts to pub-
lish my uneducated opinion.
The writer describes the
woman of as one with low
self worth, however, if she
had-managed to speak to
her that night, she would
have realized that this could
not have been further from
the truth. Perhaps the writer
did not realize that the
woman wore the shirt, not as
an insult to women, but
merely as an inside joke.

| feel it is not my place to
explain the situation, it is the

responsibility of the writer to ~

ask the woman herself,
although, it is evident from
the presumptuous nature of
the article that this probably
will not happen.
The writer suggests that
those people who congratu-
lated the women that: night
for her boid assertion should
“grow up”, as if to say that
those who knew the facts
are immature.
Well | for one do congratu-
late her, and ! would bet that
the writer of this article
would have done the same if
she had bothered to do her
research before reaching for
her pen.

Tara Bobyk