eee enenteeaenneent Page 18 December 1981 Cassiar Courier BrIGURE SATING REPORT Figure Skating is 1 now s full swing. There are 53 children taking lessons and during a recent testing session the following students passed these badges. - BEGINNERS Jeremy Cham bers Pamela Krawczyk — Lilliana Bogdanovic Erin Mulrooney : - Patrick Mulrooney Tara Pearson Mandy Pearson Reagan Pain STROKERS Jay Zebroff Justin Borsato Vicki Epp Jam es Dyk Scott Cameron Roxanne Gill Jeremy Chambers Pamela Krawczyk : hn Ne oN Fa Sry Ey Ss Sn Ty Be Es + eS Rh sot 5 sab SD AS) oes) i pes Soy Ea Ne Gm neat Suit bebey Sbirwerbeober Shae ag a7. was te Celenka Krawczyk Jennifer Tooke _ Erica Gricnik Roy Pennock ELEMENTAR Y Tammy McDougall Jennifer Tooke Vicki Storch - Celenka Krawczyk BASIC Crystal Brand Dionne Zubek Cassandra Sutherland. Sheri Zebroff Tracy Walker Chiera Borsato Melanie Hawker . Tammy McDougall NOVICEI - Melissa Lecours Cheryl MacGuire 2b present DR wae Soe De toned Daas Sa Be She Sb cies hed ae Sh) Is SN SADR) DBO Of ts ‘ 5 lee ft 33 tae : aa Zyi ry le sbie sy: ie a a ops Janice Coran Dionne Zubek . DANCE I AND JUMP J oanne Coran Jackie Brand Mary Molan Jacqueline Molan -Irene Carin Good luck to Tanya Radulovic who is going to White- horse for 5 tests on December 11th. The Figure Skating Club would like to thank every- _ one who has supported our various functions during 198] and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous & : ’ Happy New Year. SZ NZ SZ AS Ay AS Pte C1 Bi ode ea ee Cassiar Resources & Cassiar Community Club The Annual Chiloren’s Christmas Party at the Recreation Centre on Saturday December 12th The aoe features Troubador Paul Hann & Mr & Mrs Santa The parties are open to all children 14 years of age and under whose Haas are either members or associate rremiers of the Cassiar Community Club. All families who are not members or associate members of the community club and who wish their children to attend the Christmas activities must pay $30 per child to the Community Club at ‘the Rec. Centre Office. Any inquiries regarding the program should be directed to the Town Administration Office. ° ERRY CHRISTMAS * Your friendly staff down at the Courier office wishes each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. As 1981 comes to an end, we thank all our contributors for their hard work during .the past year. Without your valuable . input there would be no Courier. We look forward to your continued support in 1982. ¥ rs % - Fee a RIE eee ee ane SUUDUSTER Rowl Ringdance was a satternine cynic. It was nat- ural. He couldn't lose that way. He conducted his life with a satternine air in a moderately reckless fashion. A sort of*half grin half grimace type of. deal. A sort of giver hell baby cause nobody dies or, finally they did right so what did you expect theory..He was like a shark grinning at a prophet! a Rowl owned and operated a ghastly growing plant that he had obtained on an illegal junket to Scorpio one Sunday when he and a couple of nurses from OXY4- CM278 took a floater. . He called the plant “‘Deadly Nervous” and he fed it golf balls! The plant was trumpet shaped, about the size of an el ephant’s leg and it was totally vicious, omnivorous “and insatiable! It once ate the lid of a Go-Jo can, a bottle of Spray and Buff, a tube of wire wool and a cup of pencil shavings! But the plant was “startlingly beautiful. The 24 it mouth of the green bell was fringed like a circular mous- tache with tiny, musty mauve, fragile blue, thrilly yellow and aesthetic pink flowers! All in motion! A foment and ' a ferment! They were the mermaids designed to attract _ the ship to the inferno that lays beneath the ever wallow- ing and nauseating sea! Because, in the throat of Deadly Nervous, lay a coiled tongue that could whip -out and grab your wrist or an umbrella, or a roll of snap on bras ‘or anything else within reach. It ate Mine Shifter Joe’s pre-plastic hand knitted comfy cozy warmy’ steel toed campfire carpet slippers and he’s grieving it!! But when the Space Fairy Alice made the scene Deadly Nervous fell in love. It became hyper. Like a squirrel in a forest full of tree climbing foxes! Or a house fly in a bottle of spiders! It glorped and bubbled and threw away its centerfolds. It offered her tidbits like a 20,000 page -self analysis by a lonely Ukrainian driller named Goy O’Knatiew. Or an unreadable 13,000 page social investigation into the sex, sheenanigan and puny “pun patters of lower Cutknife, Saskatchewan by able . Blender Rizedool famous author person and grim spinster, < whose current boyfriend looks very much like a Honda Civic sleeping in a hammock, or, a semi buffalo during the winter! Or other items such as Cyclone Mary’s expurgated 36 volume encyclopediatical “The Union, Yours and Mine”! Or Frankie Bees annotated diary entitled “My Life in the Accommodations Game” and so forth of a like nature! However, to get the story back on track, Rowl was at the controls nimbiy avoiding meteorites and feeding golf balls to Deadly Nervous when the phone rang. “Helio, Rowl Ringdance at your service. Herbie. What! You gota Space Fairy? In the furnace room? Hold it! Hold it! Transparent! Translucent! Shimm ering? A star stuck ona stick! You can see her outlines but you can’t see her de- tails? Twinkly booties? She floats? What’s she doing now? Showering? What? She wants a hair dryer and a steam iron!? She’s washing her transparencies and wants to press her: translucence? Lipstick? What shade? Give her mine and don’t let her near Deadly Nervous! Hold it, Earth phone is on, I’lk put you on hold”. “Hello! Hello! No operator we do not accept collect calls!”’ said Rowl. - OPERATOR: “T’m sorry sir they do not accept col-° lect calls. Would you please deposit $84,000 dollars in the money of your choice providing it’s round and flat and goes clinkety_ clink, clinkety clink! Thank you, go ahead fella!” 3 BILL: ‘Hello Sunduster One, this is your hearty peppy resonant. firm Union brother Big Billy Dee speak- ing! Is this hearty firm brother Astro Rowl Ringdance?”’ ROWL: “Yes it is peppy hearty Big Bill!”’ BILL: “I’m speaking to you from a heated cubicle on Connell Street because I have reason to believe the Lions Club is running a phone tap on me!” ROWL: “Do tell Big Bill so wa) are you ohoiine resonant rep?”’ nm . nm er ewe . “~ =e Cassiar Coie December 1981 Page 19 BILL: “TI just wanted to inform you 1 that I’ve mailed your union cards to you and you are now firm peppy re- sonant brothers i in hearty good standing! neae OPERATOR; “Your 3 minutes are up fella, would you please deposit $17,000 dollars in the money of your choice providing it’s round and flat and goes clinkety clink! clinkety clink! Thank you peppy firm and hearty brother sir; Us operators are unionized to. I’m firm and peppy sister brother Pattie De Foy Graw OSOTWO! Outer Space Office and Technical Women! Oley!” BILL:° “Thank you sister brother Pattie sir or ma’am person. Could I speak once again to hearty peppy reson- ant solid and firm brother.Astro Rowl?” ROWL: “Shoot hearty brother Big Billy Dee!” BILL: “Could you try to be at the next meeting last month? We're having a seminar on grievance procedures with a view toward improving our win-loss ratio!” ROWL: ‘T’'ll try to make it hearty brother Big Bill Dee!”” — : BILL: Rowl!” : ROWL: “Over and out brother!’’ Rowl picks up the phone. “Hello Herbie, still there? You say. you got a flaming Space Fairy? You want to tell me about it? She got by Security? Oh! She ionized herself through the hull! Can you bring her up here? O.K. I can wait! Is she unclothed? Naked? Oh! She’s invisible! I see! You can hear her but you can't see her! Her name is Alice. She beams thought waves! I see! And you beam back eh? I get the picture. Ahuh! Well when she gets it all together bring her up O.K? O.K! Bring some whiskey! is Rowl disconnects and summons the operator. “Hello “O.K. Over and out brother peppy Astro - Operator, please: give me extension 32 Sunduster One. No! It is not long distance, it is a house call! Thank you. Hello, Emiet! I think we got a problem. Herbie has got a Space _ Fairy in the furnace room! She’s taking a shower! What! You gotta what? Shimmering star and stick? Twinkly booties. Transparencies? She floats! You can see her out- lines but. you can’t see her details? What’s her name? Alice? No! What? Marabel?? You sure Ernie? You know, Continued on Page 24 CRADDOCK MERCURY Ford Club wok and Econoline Vans are popular choices for Boller Conversions. SALES WHEN IT COMES TO VEHICLE PURCHASES .-- CARS, TRUCKS, RE- ~ CREATIONAL VEHICLES, NEW OR USED-ONE PHONE CALL TO HAROLD OR BILL AT 774-3931 OR AFTER HOURS AND WEEKENDS AT 774-3576 WILL ENSURE DELIVERY TO YOUR AREA WITHIN 24 nods: : Fort Nelson, B.C. Granada L 4 - Door PARTS -WE ARE NOW SERVICING THIS AREA. IF You NEED PARTS OR SERVICE PLEASE CALL TED CRADDOCK, PARTS MGR., at 774—3931. AFTER HOURS OR WEEKENDS CALL 774-6213 OUR RESPRESENTATIVES WILL BE VISITING THE AREA MONTHLY “Compliments of the Season CRADDOCK FORD MERCURY SALES LTD. Box 1899, 4504-50 Ave. N. Fort Nelson, B. C.