Page 6 Cassiar Courier September 1990

PS

Z Library |
News. |

AG
aa

Na elie erie ennai anil eileen

Did everyone have a great,
amazing reading summer ?

By mid-August 47 children
had registered in the "biggest,
greatest, most amazing reading
club." Circulation was astoun—
ding with the library volunteers
hard-pressed to keep up with the
shelving of books.

We’d like to thank Mrs. Ju-
lie MacRae, Brenda and the staff
of Snowrigde Elementary School,
Mrs. Marie Brown of the Cassiar
Community Club and Mr. and Mrs.
Schneeberger of WSTV far their

support in this successful pra-
ject. Certificate presentation

and prize draws will be on Tues-—
day, September 11 at 3:45 pm Caf-
ter school) in the library. All

participants will be notified by.

telephone.

"Story Book Hour" resumes on
Saturday mornings for pre-school
children. Leave your age 3-5
year old at the library from il
am toa 12 pm Saturday mornings
beginning September 15.

& large selection of chil-
dren’s books arrived over the
summer . New adult book titles
include:

Adult Fiction

Disappearing Moon Cafe — Sky
Lee
(Fiction and historical fact wo-
ven into a memorable and moving
picture of a people’s struggle
for identity —- Excellent read-—
ing).

The Burden of Proof — Scott

Turow CAuthor of Presumed Inno—
cent).
Play Dead —- Harlan Coben

(Suspense novel).
The Things They Carried -

Tim O’Brien

(About a platoon of young foot—

soldiers in the vietnam war).

The Fifth Possessian —- David
Morrell
CAuthor of First Blood
therhood of the Rase).

and _Bro-

Adult non-fiction

The Dinosaurs of North Ame-

rica — beautiful pictoral.

The Tour de France — com—
plete book of cycling.

The Mennonites - Pictoral

history of Canada.
Birth Order and You

When Parents Love Too Much -
what happens when parents won’t
let go.

Travelling on Your Own —- 250
great ideas for group or solos
vacations.

The Good Rain, Across Time &
Terrain in the Pacific Northwest
- Emily Carr (by curator/author
Doris Shadbolt) - Native Indian
influence and the power of the
natural environment. Fine work
of art criticism —- 125 plates.

The New Basics Cookbook
Don’t forget about our In-

terlibrary Loan Network. Order
for loan, almost any book in any

language. It will arrive ina
week to 10 days. Order with a
volunteer on duty or phone

Jenafor at 778-7638.

La bibliotheque publique de
Cassiar offre des emprunts de li-
vre dans quasiment tous les lan-
guages. Demandez simplement au
biblicthecaire de vous commander
le livre de votre choix ou appel-
lez Jenafor a 778-7638.

La libreria publica de Cas-—
Siar ofrese Libros prestadeos en
muchas lenguas. Para ordenar su
libro preferido pregunte en tla
libreria, ao llama el 778-7638.

La biblioteca pubblica di
Cassiar e in possesse di libri in

quaisiasi lingua. Per informa-—
tioni si prega chiamare il num—-
bera 778-7638 - Jenafor —- Ed

ordinare il libro di vostra scei-

ta.
MMM MM

if you are a member of the
Cassiar Community Club, you may
receive your family or single li-
brary membership for a 10.00
deposit, which is refundable at
any time by written request toa
the librarian.

FIRST ANNUAL
BIKE RODEO

76 kids turned out!

The Lions Club and R.C.M.P.
would like to thank all of the
sponsors:

GoMace

Cassiar Shopping Centre
Radia Shack

The Sportsman’s Luncheonette

Thanks to Bev Storie and
Deedee Vallieres for making all
of the cotton candy!

Thanks to Lee Coran and Mike
Landucci —- Master hot dog Chefs!

The New Bicycle was won by
Brandon Manderson — Congratula—
tions, Brandon!

Five kids got a perfect sco-
re — Way to ga!

Who was the adult (Cinitials
S.V.) who got the lowest scare of
all? Better luck next year!

CASSIAR

BITS & PIECES‘

Thank you and good-bye Cas—
Siar!

We would like ta say thanks
ta everybody for the nice fare-
well party at Chain Lakes. Spe-
cial thanks to Margret & Jim,
Drago & John to make it sa suc-—
cessful.

Love & Sunshine,

Rudi & Sieqi

If you have any Bits &Pieces
you would like printed mail them

to: Cassiar Courier

Box 100.
Cassiar, B.C.
VOC 1E0

Or simply drop them off at the
Courier office.

2 i> “ai a <i <a <a <a eee

CASSIAR HAIR DESIGN |

Hours 222 Kennedy Street

Tuesday
10-6

Friday
10-5

Wednesday, Thursday

10-8:30

Saturday (
10-5:30

Phone 778-7476 on

- ~ So a Ps —— 7.2
rye Woy Peover ~+ tien’ “s

EE LS ____tibs Catia uaa aes ae

By James Lincoln Collier

The seven-year-old was with
his family at a car dealership,
inspecting a new station wagon,
one with a metal strip simulating

wood. "Dad," the boy whispered
urgently, “don’t buy this — wood
yots." He was jolted when his

father started laughing. Then,
when the father shared His pri-
vate remark with the salesman,

and he laughed, the boy felt
humiliated. Some 3O years iater,
now a father himself, the man

often thinks af this Byer’ when
his own children say something
unintentionally amusing.

The operation on eight—-year—
old Betty’s scalp involved shav—
ing a patch of hair. "I look
funny," she said, begging ta stay
home from school. "The other
kids are going ta tease me." But
her parents insisted. “If they
tease, don’t pay any attention,"
her mother said, certain that
this time-honoured solution would
sacthe such a minor problem. but
by 10 a.m. Betty was at home,
subbing. She had slipped away
and walked three kilometers
rather than face the gibes of her
schonlmates.

Mast parents are bewildered

by such reactions because they
den’t understand how deeply a
child fears humiliation. "ALI
toa oaften we don’t see or hear
what is really troubling our

children, Says Eacru Yamamotea, a
psychologist at the University af
Colorada at Denver.

Yamamota’s surveys shaw that
children are afraid «af tlLasing
face, being thought of as unat—
tractive, stupid er dishenest.
Tt ais more troubling toa wet their
pants in class, get a bad report
card or repeat a grade, for exam
ple, than it 15 toa undergo surg-
ery or be confronted by a rival
baby brother or sister - situa-
tions a parent might expect ta be
most disconcerting. For a child,
a blow ta self-esteem, the sense
of being worthy, is a terrible
thing ta endure.

The discovery that adults
are not aware af what really
bothers chiidren came in Yama-
moto’s research iuntoe chiidren’s
fears. He asked children and

adults the same thing —- what up-
sets children the mast? When he
compared what adults Had ta say
with what the children themselves
said, he found noticeable dis-—
myYepancies.

Both aduits and children
felt the most troubling thing for
a child is to lose a parent. But
on other matters the adults gat
it wrong. Most dismaying is the
judgements made by childhacd pra-
fessionals such as psychologists
and schoac administratars were
little better than those made by
noanproafessicnals.

For example, having a new
baby brother or sister was can—
sidered an event of major conse-
quence by many adults. tin etact;
the chiidren ranked it the ieast
stressful event in their lives.
Similarly, adults believed a trip
to the dentist must cause consid-
erable stress. The children,
however, considered that far less
frightening than the awful trek
to ‘the principal’s

Pot Paneer et

Cassiar Courier September 1990 Page 7

What Your Child Fears Most

clear sign to peers that they had
goofed up.

Adults in Yamamoto’s study
thought flunking a grade would be
less troubling for children than
getting lost or having an opera—
tion. But kids saw it as one of
the worst things that could hap~-
pen to them, almost as bad as
going blind.

One of the terrors of re-
peating a grade is losing the old
peer group’s approval. And self-
esteem suffers when the child
isn’t quickly accepted by the new
group. Reing transferred fram
ene school to another can be
almost as bad.

With his colleague Deborah
& Byrnes, Yamamota studied what
they call invisible chiidren —
ones who are sao quiet they’re
ignored by their teachers, and
neither liked nor disliked by
their classmates.

These children were in many
respects normal; but mast of them
had maved with their families and
changed schools frequently. Yam—
amoto and Byrnes were surprised
that most of them were "quite
open and verbal" in their inter—
Views. The kids were capable of
yelating ta others, but were sa
traumatized by the stress of re-
isesting and having tea adjust to
a new school and new peer groups
that they had given up the ef-
rine ee

What these studies make
clear is that ance a child starts
Sschooi, the respect and iiking of
peers became immensely important.
The opinion af friends sometimes
matters mare than the approval «af
teachers and parents. When asked
what was sa Bad about repeating a
Grade, the most common response
was shame at being “laughed at
and teased" by farmer classmates.

We have aiways under stocd
that adolescents turn to their
peer group fer support, but we
have alsa assumed that far young-
er children friendships Wer &
easily formed and sasiiy broken.
These new studies show that. the
loss of friends and particularly
ecret Dion By the group are pain-
ful and humiliating for even very
young children.

While aduits in Yamamoto’s
studies da carrectly identify the
less of a parent as a chilid’s
worst fear, tney soften don’t ap-
preciate that this fear invalves
more than just the prospect of
death. Report Yamamoto and coi-
league Lorraine L. Dibrell, “More
frequently than most adults
realize, cHildren seem ta worry
that they might be abandoned.”

Triggering this f@ar, among
other things, 15 the experience
of being last in a strange place,
like a department store, ar see-
ing parents fight, especiaily
when there is violence. Bet ween
two thirds and three quarters af
the children surveyed have exper—
ienced the pain of parental
fighting, and it leaves them
afraid that their mother = and
father are going ta get divorced.
Just the noise of a quarrel can
be frightening. "In listening ta
children, it is difficult not to
be touched by their profound
sense of vulnerability, says
Yamamota. "They are afraid of

‘being left ‘alane, apprehensive mf

what lies ahead and uncertain of
what they can do. They are fund-—
amentally dependent upon adults
in the face of upsetting and un-—
predictable events.”

What, then, can parents and
teachers do? The first thing,

many researchers agree, is tes
listen.

Mudita Nisker, a family
counsellor in Qakland, Calif.,

point out, "Kids shut down when
their parents start giving advice
instead of listening. If parents
dae give advice, it’s better to
listen first and see what kind of
help is needed."

Instead of grilling a child
toa discover the truth, let him or
her talk. This is important,
because what the child first cam—
Plains about may not be the real
problem. Experienced professian—
als learn toa ask “open-ended”
questions.

For example, if a child ap-
pears to be unhappy because ather
children tease her about her
clothes, the point is not ta say,

“Don?t pay any attention tos
esi | but rather, "Sa youlre
upse because the other kids
ain like icp! dress?" shew the
child that you are attentive,
concerned. It nay tuynm aut that

the child has not been getting

alang with peers For ot riesy
yeasans.

The second is to prepare the
child fear the new. One of the
most shacking things ta came fram
the Yamamoto studies on kids who
had ta repeat a year in scheaal is
bow cwasually they WEY Ee told.
Porty-two percent knew they had
failed only when they saw it oan
their report cards. fen percent

of these unhappy children did nat
discover their fate until the
next fall, when they were turned
away fram their new classraom in
frant at friends.

Whatever the upooning event,

parents shold caretuily prepare
their children. EGiivieonete een oucheel 1
before a child goes inte 2 new
elementary-schoaal grade, a parent

Should ask how the child feels
about ait, which old friends will
be there tao, what they knaw
about their teacher. The parent
might take the child te schaol,
ta visit the classrocam, even Scull:
ta the new teacher.

Parents should alsa pravide
emotional and physical support.
If these new studies make any-

thing clear, it is that «hildren
need te be accepted by their
peers. Take very Seriously a
Child’s camplaints about being

left out af games, or not being
asked to a party. The sense that
you are there, “pravidirng an
anchor," as Yamamotea puts it,
will help to give the child need—
ed confidence

Finally, accept the child
for what he ar she really is.
Psychologist Alan DeWitt
Button says “Understanding the
child cames Tate See ene him show
us what he is like.
Continued
on
page 10

—— ee le ee ee EeEEE—EEyEyE

eae eee ee
nn = ett

ee ee EE

Lt tt A lt