HEAPS ENGINEERING (1940) LIMITED Machinery Designers and Manufacturers NEW WESTMINSTER BRITISH COLUMBIA Telephone 241 . . Day and Night laterson Funeral Home Mrs. A. H. Paterson, Manageress NEW, MODERN CHAPEL Experienced Lady Embalmer 538- 8th Street New Westminster, B.C. HE latest joke going the rounds of Berlin lls of an anti-aircraft soldier in Germany ho got a gold medal with this citation: “During an R.A.F. raid over Berlin, after iving exhausted all his ammunition, he con- nued to shout “Boom-Boom! at the top F his lungs obtaining the same result.” —Newsweek, Dayton, Ohio. THEY are young people, these American ficers in Iceland. At an American naval ise, where promotion is more difficult, I w in the bar the following notice directed ) visiting army officers: “Drinks are not rved to colonels and lieutenant-colonels nder 21, unless accompanied by their arents..’—Nondahl Grieg in a B.B.C. roadcast. AND where did you first meet your ife?” the little man in the corner was ked. “Gentlemen, I did not meet her,” ied solemnly. “She overtook me.” he ré- NOAH was very worried about a little leak in the Ark. He told the dog to put his nose into the hole and stop the water. The dog did, and that is why dogs’ noses are always cold. But the leak began to spread, so Noah told his wife to stop the leak with her arm, and that’s why women’s elbows are always cold. The leak still spread, so Noah took the matter in hand himself, and that’s why retired captains always stand with their backs to the fire!—“The Nongqai.” A MAN who always does things by halves saw a sign “Oddments Sale” outside a city boot shop. He went in and-demanded the right shoe of a pair in the window, although he possessed two sound feet. After some haggling and in order to get rid of him the shopman let him have it. The next day he went to purchase the other one, but was told it had been sold to a man who had only one leg, the left. PAT: ‘Waiter, I can’t drink this soup.” The waiter took it away and brought a fresh plateful. “T can’t drink this either,” said Pat. So the waiter summoned the chef, who asked what was the matter with the soup. “There’s nothing the matter with it,” said Pat, “but I have no spoon.” “NOW, children,” said the teacher, “can anyone tell me the meaning of “unaware” eae A tiny hand waved frantically in the air. “Please, mum, unaware is what you put on first and take off last.” H.M.5S. Skate, Britain’s oldest destroyer, is the only three-funnelled destroyer in the navy. She was challenged recently by another warship and was asked: “Who are you?” This was too much for Skate’s dignity. She replied: “Churchill’s secret weapon.” “THIS is a very historic chair,” said the antique dealer, “it belonged to William and Mary.” “Judging by the size of it,” exclaimed the prospective customer, “Mary must have sat in William’s lap.” WARDEN: “What are you looking so glum about, No. 99X?” Convict 99X: “That old lady who has just left asks me if it was desire for drink that brought me here. As if I would mis- take this place for a pub!” AMERICAN Soldier: “Your country is_ sure small; not like where I come from. Say, you can board a train in Texas at dawn, and 24 hours later you'd still be in Texas.” Local: “Yes, we have our railway strikes, too.” CONSTABLE: “I don’t think Constable Deafhe will be out of hospital for some time.” Sergeant: “Indeed! Quite a little detec- tive, aren’t you, or have you seen his doctor?” Constable: “No, but I’ve Some girl, sergeant.” seen his nurse. “GENERAL” Protection and Service —None Better at Any Price! General Insurance Company of America Taa9 First National Insurance Co. of America od General Casualty Company of America Canadian Head Offices: Standard Bank Building, Vancouver Fire - Automobile - Burglary - Hold-up General Liabiliity - Fur and Jewelry Riot Insurance WELFTH EDITION Timber Preservers Elsona, P. O. CREOSOTE PRESSURE TREATED DOUGLAS FIR PILING - POLES - TIES - TIMBERS WOOD STAVE CULVERTS We Are Equipped to Incise, Bore and Frame Before Treatment Limited Burnaby, B.C. Page One Hundred and One