April 7, 2003

This week we are trying something different: all of
the horoscopes are haiku, sorry to the English majors.

Aries
You are so smelly
Go take a long long shower
Now you are not rank

Taurus
What is up with snow
It is all your fault bastard
Go now to the hole

Gemini
Evil exams now
Doom, prepare to crash and
burn
Dooomy doomy doom

Libra
Go away stupid
La la la I can’t hear you
Go get a new life

Scorpio
You are so sexy
Dance on the dinner table
Shake that sexy ass

Sagittarius
You have no money
Stop pretending that you do
ha ha ha you’re poor

Capricorn
Cancer You will have a dream
Stop smoking those sticks it will be about hot men
Then you will be healthier Don’t fear the package
Maybe I'll kiss you
Aquarius
Leo You are so in Love
“? Beware wild turkeys. Hoodlums Where are those damned

of the poultry family may stage
an unexpected attack.

Virgo
Virgo do not be sad
I have a present for you
It is in my pants

northern lights
No skates for the best

Pisces
Beware very bad jokes
Don’t fall prey to poor punch
lines
Retaliate now

Disclaimer:

All Horoscopes provided by
Over The Edge are completely
fictional, and if you believe
them you are so stupid you
require a safety helmet.

CULTURE Page 10

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