'UNIVERSl i of r '1 THF:RN
'

BRITISH CC'

LIBRARY

.181A

Prince George, B.C.

STORIES OF ATTACHMENT FOR NORTHERN INDIGENOUS FAMILIES

by

Carolyn Ann Doody
B. Ed. University of British Columbia, 2003

PROJECT SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF
THE REQUIREMENTS FOR DEGREE OF
MASTER OF EDUCATION
IN
COUNSELLING

UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA
March 2011

© Carolyn Ann Doody, 2014

ii

Stories of Attachment for Northern Indigenous Families
Storytelling is an art that has existed since time began. Storytelling is an integral
component to Indigenous societies and is used to teach, entertain and heal. Indigenous
societies have endured the generational trauma of disrupted attachment. Many Indigenous
families are working very hard to persevere in the face of adversity. It is important for
northern Indigenous people to have access to therapeutic literature. Northern Indigenous
families can benefit from literature that affirms their familial bonds and encourages families
to stay strong and remain close. The intention of this project is to share the therapeutic use of
stories with northern Indigenous families for the purpose of healing disrupted attachment. In
this project I explore, what attachment is and how it was disrupted in Indigenous societies,
what bibliotherapy is and how it is an effective therapeutic tool and most importantly, the
importance of storytelling in Indigenous societies. This project contains five stories, written
by me, for northern Indigenous families on various attachment topics. The stories are
intended to speak to the issue of disrupted attachment, affirm existing attachments and bring
families close through the sharing of healing stories.

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Table of Contents
Abstract. .................... . .... .... ... ..... ................ ... ...... ......... ..... ... .... ... ... ... ....... .ii
Table of Contents ................................ ....... .............................................. .. .. iii
Acknowledgement. .. ... ..... .. ... .. ........................................ ......... ......... ..... ....... v

Chapter One: Attachment and Indigenous People .............................................. .I
Introduction ... ........ .......... ... .... .. ................... ............... .. ....... ............ .. ... ....... 1
Significance of the Project. ............. . ................................ .... ......... .... ............... 3
Background of the Project. .............. .... ...................... .... ..................... .... ....... ... 8
Personal Location .............. .. ..... ......... .. .......................................................... 8
Overview of the Project. ................................................................................ 10

Chapter Two: Review of the Literature ........... . .. .................... ..... .. . ............... .. 11
Introduction ..... .... ..... .. .................................. .......... ... ............................ . ... 11
Attachment Theory ...................................................................................... 12
Residential Schools, Attachment and Indigenous People .................... ... ...... ......... ... .... ........ 17
Bibliotherapy ...... ........ .... .... ..... .................................. .. ....... . ......... .. .......... ..21
Indigenous Healing Through Storytelling ...... ... ........ .. ... .......... .. .... . .............. ......... 24
Summary ... ...... ..... ............... ... ................. .. ............... .. ............. ............ ..... 28

Chapter Three: Introduction to the Stories ........................................................ 29
Story One: Porty Hardcore ............................................................................. 29
Story Two: Sam, Peggy Ann and Sus ...... ...... .............. ..................... .... ............ .. 36
Story Three: The Sweater. ...... .. ... .......... .. ......................... ..... ... ............ .... .... .44

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Story Four: Tsu Tsu ' s Last Supper. ........................ ................ . ...... ... ......... ...... 53
Story Five: Attachment and First Nations People ......... .. ....................................... 61
References ..... ... ................. ...... ......... ............ .... .... ........................... .......... 70

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Acknowledgements

In remembrance of my Tahltan Grandmother, Agnes Emma Quock, thank you for
blessing me with your stories. This project was written for my children, Phoenix Quock and
Jericho Annika Doody. Phoenix and Jericho shared their talent, humor and imaginations
with me to collaborate in writing Porty Hardcore. I am honored to be blessed with such
wonderful, patient and wise children. Thank you to my Mother, Peggy Ann Quock for
helping me to realize my life purpose and for helping me to achieve my dreams. Thank you
to my Father and his wife, Ross and Sandra Doody for your love, guidance, support and
prayers. Thank you to Eileen and Jayden for being there. Thank you to Lisa for inspiring me
to become a counsellor, thank you Chelle for egging me on and thank you Brandy for your
healing energy. Meduh to my people in Iskut from whom I have learned so much: Especially
Jolene for helping me on my journey and Odelia and Angela for beautifully translating the
stories into Tahltan. This project is dedicated to Tahltan children everywhere in hopes that
you will follow your hearts and never give up.
Thank you to my supervisor, Dr. Linda O'Neill for patiently and enthusiastically
sharing with me your knowledge and support. Thank you to my committee members for
your time and expertise. Thank you to Joelle McKiernan, for teaching me about attachment,
lending me your ideas and resources and for mentoring me as a counsellor. Thank you to
Tina Fraser, for your time and patience and for directing me to great Indigenous resources.

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Chapter One: Attachment and Indigenous People
Introduction

My Mother is a deeply spiritual Tahltan Elder. She once told me that the tough times
in my life were preparing me for my calling, and that she believed my calling is to advocate
for children. I believe that everything that has happened in my life so far has led me to where
I am right now. I believe that everything that I have learned I am meant to share with my
people and that I am to use what I have learned to advocate for my people, especially the
children. My personal experiences with disrupted attachment and my passion for writing
have come together in this project in a good way. Every good story needs an antagonist and
a protagonist. The paradox of this project is that my antagonist, disrupted attachment has met
my protagonist, writing, in a partnership of true purpose. It is my intention to share the ways
in which disrupted attachment has touched the lives of my people and to also share the ways
in which healing can occur through our tradition of storytelling. According to Littlebear
(2000), storytelling is an educational process for children. Customs and values are taught
through the stories by sharing, real-life experiences, spirits, creation, customs and values. In
Western culture healing through storytelling is named bibliotherapy; I will use the terms
interchangeably.
Traditionally and historically, Indigenous people used oral traditions to teach our
children. Knowledge was not written down it was passed from generation to generation by
word of mouth. Knowledge was communicated through stories and the stories varied

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depending on the style and personality of the teller. The oral tradition allows for variations, a
story may have the same gist with a variation of details depending on the teller' s personality
and perception of the story. Listeners of stories also bring variation to stories depending on
their perceptions, life experiences and points of reference.
Stories are important to Indigenous people because they tell of our history as well as
teach younger generations in a proactive and preventative way. Oftentimes a story will
communicate many meanings. The storyteller does not define meaning for the listener. The
listener deciphers meaning and draws their own conclusions based on what they need in the
moment that they hear the story. Stories have the power to help in the healing of life' s
adversities.
Indigenous people are currently faced with multiple adversities. Our struggles are as
diverse as they are similar among the nations all across our country. The effects of disrupted,
disorganized and severed attachment are among the common struggles that Indigenous
people face.
Attachment is a deep connection, a bond, a necessary contact for balanced health and
wellness. Bowlby (1988) describes attachment behaviour as a person who attains and
maintains proximity to another person who is believed to be better able to cope with the
world, such as an attachment where a parent provides the child with security and protection.
For Indigenous people who value interconnectedness and holistic beliefs, attachment figures
include parents, grandparents, extended family, language, land and Indigenous culture. These
attachments are necessary for the survival of the mind, body and soul of Indigenous people.
Attachments ensure interconnection, interdependence and the health and well-being of future

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generations, ultimately the survival of the people as a whole. Henderson (2000) speaks about
the Indigenous belief that everything is part of a whole and that each of us has a
responsibility to the well-being of all life forms and the "ecology of the whole" (p. 269).
Attachment theory is based on the connection between a child and a significant adult
in the child ' s life, most often a child's mother. Attachment theory affirms that without
strong, healthy attachments to a significant adult, a child will fail to thrive to their full
potential (Bowlby, 1988). The absence of attachment in a child ' s life is called disrupted,
severed or disorganized attachment and often results in compromised mental, physical and
social health throughout life and especially into adulthood. Disrupted attachment can be a
detriment to relationships in adulthood ifleft untreated. According to Haskell (2012),
individuals who experience abuse in childhood often experience attachment difficulties later
in life, as well as cognitive impairment, attention deficits, chronic pain, impulsiveness and
difficulty regulating their emotions.
In Canada, the attachment of Indigenous people to parents, grandparents, extended
family, language, land and Indigenous culture were all forcibly disrupted by law. Disrupted
attachment has resulted in widespread intergenerational trauma among Indigenous people.

Significance of the Project
Indigenous children and youth, and their families are in need of resources that are
relevant to their experiences and that help them with their personal health and wellness. The
significance of the project is to provide resources for young northern Indigenous children,
and their families, that will help them to overcome the adversity of disrupted attachment and
that will highlight the strengths in their existing attachments. The stories presented in this

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project are all based on true stories. The stories reflect how northern Indigenous people have
utilized their strengths to cope with the legacy of disrupted attachment. The stories show that
strength and resilience exist in each one of us while celebrating what we are doing right in
healing disrupted attachment. The stories portray attachments to land, family, and a culture
that was disrupted but was never lost. The stories are about the survival and determination of
Indigenous people. Indigenous families may relate to the characters in the stories and may be
affirmed in the ways that they are preserving attachment, some families may be inspired to
persevere despite the adversities that threaten attachment. The idea is to move beyond stories
of victimization and affirm families that are breaking cycles of abuse. The stories are meant
to encourage northern Indigenous families through the sharing of the strength, resilience and
the perseverance of northern Indigenous people. Our people need familiarity and inspiration
and I believe that our people need their successes to be celebrated and shared.
An Elder once told me that it will take seven generations of Indigenous people to heal
the colonization that has happened to our people. Many have referred to colonization as
atrocities, genocide, hate crimes and attempts at annihilation.
We are Nations who are rising out of the ashes. We are generations who are breaking
the learned cycles of abuse. The abuse was first inflicted upon Indigenous people through
colonization and once learned has been passed on intergenerationally in Indigenous societies.
We are not passive victims. We are becoming more and more empowered by the day and the
confidence in our Nations is growing as rapidly as our populations.
Through storytelling, we can influence future generations through the sharing of
positive life teachings. The narratives of our common experiences and the triumphant tales

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of overcoming adversity may be a component to the path of healing for our young. Healing
is happening in Indigenous lives through building on the strengths that already exist in
Indigenous societies and focussing on solutions that come from the traditions of our people.
It is my hope that northern Indigenous people who read my stories will see themselves on the

pages and identify with a culture that has never died.
I have written a series of children ' s stories as well as a resource for parents. The
stories are based on the life experiences of an extended Tahltan family from northern British
Columbia. The stories depict struggle, survival and love and are intended to encourage
children to persevere through hardships. Each story speaks to important lessons learned
from mothers. The stories portray the importance of mothers, the absence of mothers and the
perseverance of women and children, despite loss, poverty, bullies and separation.
The stories depict the ways in which adversity is overcome through strong
attachments. Through a variety of struggles the family perseveres and important lessons are
learned through the teaching of the mothers.
By writing these stories, I intend to help fill a void in the area of bibliotherapy for
Indigenous families who are from the remote north. Currently, there is very little healing
literature specific for northern Indigenous families, relevant to our experiences and points of
reference. The intent of writing these stories is to create resources that are relevant,
meaningful and easy to read for young northern Indigenous children and their families.
The stories are intended to be used in bibliotherapy with northern Indigenous
families. I have also included a resource for parents that, explains what attachment is,

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outlines the reasons why disrupted attachment is prevalent in the lives of Indigenous people
and offers antidotes to disrupted attachment.
The issues facing Indigenous people are well known. We are people who have been
studied repeatedly and who have been the subjects of many rhetorical government reports on
our problems and how to solve them. It has been decades since the first studies began and
still we fmd that many of our people are living in cycles of abuse and poverty.
Healing through culture is necessary as an antidote to disrupted attachment trauma
and the cycles of abuse in Indigenous communities. Access to healing in northern
Indigenous communities is often difficult or non-existent. Bibliotherapy is a way that
parents, educators, children and youth can access healing materials on their own. Often
stories open doors to conversations and discussions about topics that would otherwise be
difficult.
Stories are non-threatening as well as entertaining. There is no pressure on the reader
or the listener and there are no comprehension questions, tests, right or wrong perceptions
etc. The listener is the expert in their journey. The conversations result from the meaning
that the listener draws from the story. There is no agenda on the part of the storyteller, only a
willingness to share and to be open to the perceptions of others, possible discussion and
perhaps silence.
Research has been done to discuss, prove and demonstrate the ways in which
attachments have been forcibly severed among Indigenous people. Several books have been
written by Indigenous and Western authors about the atrocities done to Indigenous people in
Canada and around the world. Examples of these important historical accounts include, but

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are not limited to, work done by Geoffrey York with his infamous book, The Dispossessed
(1990), work done by Harold Cardinal including his powerful book, The Unjust Society
(1969), work done by Kim Anderson, including her epic novel, A Recognition of Being
(2000), and more recently work done by Thomas King entitled, Th e In convenient Indian: A
Curious Account of Native People in North America (2012), a very honest account of the
experiences of Indigenous people North America. The government has conducted numerous
studies to get to the root of the "Indian Problem" such as the "Statement of the Government
of Canada on Indian Policy 1969" also known as the White Paper, (1969) and the "Royal
Commission" (1996) and more recently the work being done by the "Truth and
Reconciliation Commission" (2012), only to come up with the same rhetorical solutions .....
Something has to be done ..... but what? The studies have focussed much of their attention on
the "problems" of Indigenous people, such as the high rates of suicide, low graduation rates,
rampant health issues, high rates of mental illness, high rates of child removal, the
continuation of various abuses, poor housing, high unemployment and on and on and on ....
The studies rarely, if ever consult Indigenous healers regarding possible solutions. Even in
studies, like the "Royal Commission", where solutions and healing are suggested and
methods are given, the solutions and healing are rarely, if ever implemented (Anderson &
Denis, 2011).
This project is aimed at affirming the resilience and strength of Indigenous people
through storytelling. Storytelling is a culturally appropriate method of teaching and healing
in Indigenous cultures. Most often told by our Elders, stories have a unique way of
instigating laughter, conjuring up tears, provoking thoughts and ideas and bringing
commonality to problems so that we don' t feel so alone in our struggles. Stories also bring

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hope, rays of sunshine and light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is a treasure to be shared, a
necessity to survival. Trauma is like a fire that burns hope and leaves embers of fear, anxiety
and depression and hope is what helps people to rise from the ashes. The purpose of this
project is to affirm existing familial and cultural bonds and to inspire northern Indigenous
families to persevere in their attachments and togetherness.
Background of the Project

I am a writer, for as long as I can remember I have written, mainly in journals. I have
found that writing is healing for me and so I write. I don ' t often keep what I write. The
process of writing is healing and can be as important and sometimes more important than the
end result. I began writing children ' s stories about three years ago, just before I started a
Master of Education in Counselling program. I wrote a story about my Mom and her brother
Sam and their Mother, my Grandmother.
I learned about attachment while I was doing my practicum under the supervision of
an experienced counsellor, Joelle McKiernan. She explained attachment to me and the
theory sparked something within me, at first resistance. In time I realized that it was my
personal location to disrupted attachment that made the concept so familiar.
Personal Location

I am a child of a residential school survivor. My Mom went to residential school.
My Mom' s childhood was plagued with trauma and abuse. Each of her children endured
disrupted attachment in childhood for a variety of reasons . I come from a history of
disrupted and severed attachment, a history of lost mothers and lost children. The trauma of

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colonization and the ways of coping with the trauma were all primary contributors to the
disrupted attachments between mothers and children.
My Grandmother was seven when she lost her mother to death, she went on to raise
11 children, primarily on her own, in the remote north with very little income and support.
My Grandmother and Mother have endured trauma and have lived through many difficult
situations, they are resilient survivors.
Trauma is a common experience in the lives of Indigenous people and is passed from
generation to generation subconsciously. Trauma can have devastating effects on people
who have experienced significant losses and or abuse. The effects of trauma are many and
include, but are not limited to, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, low self-esteem and
addictions, to name a few .
The purpose of my project is to tell the stories of those who persevere so that the
children and youth who feel like giving up and who are going through hard times can find
hope in an accessible form : Stories that they can reflect on, characters that they can relate to
and experiences that they can recall with a plot that inspires them.
When I was a child I used to look for books in the library about Indigenous people, I
felt closer to my Mom and my people when I saw pictures or read stories about my own
people. But the stories and books were rare, and although the literature has gotten better and
has increased we still have a long way to go. I recall reading about Indigenous people in
Encyclopedia' s and reading about Indigenous people who were described as savages in
stories. It was difficult to fmd stories about Indigenous people written in a meaningful,
truthful and helpful way. It was difficult to fmd literature written by Indigenous people,
especially literature relevant to specific Nations.

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Today, my children rarely see our own Tahltan people represented in literature. They
are fortunate that they can read about the diverse populations of Indigenous people in
literature. I believe that it is important for us to learn about one another, however, it is
paramount that we learn about ourselves. Children need relevancy, we are diverse people,
and Indigenous children need to see themselves in literature as it is simply not adequate to
provide children with generalizations.
Overview of the Project

Bibliotherapy and Indigenous storytelling have important similarities. Both are used
for teaching and for healing. Indigenous people are underrepresented in bibliotherapy and
there is a need for the representation of Indigenous beliefs, values and ways ofbeing. The
need for Indigenous representation, relevancy and expertise can be confirmed by the statistics
of Indigenous people in Canada and around the world. Indigenous people have the highest
rates of suicide, addictions, poverty, neglected infections of poverty and intergenerational
trauma. The solutions are often prescribed from external sources and are often evidence
based from a Western perspective and are therefore fallible for Indigenous people.
The intent of this project is to create culturally relevant literature for northern
Indigenous children. Stories that are written through a culturally appropriate lens, using an
Indigenous paradigm with the intention of bringing hope to overcome adversity.

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Chapter Two: Review of the Literature
Introduction

It is important to know what attachment is in order to understand the impact that
disrupted and severed attachment has had on Indigenous people. For this reason, I ftrst
reviewed literature about attachment theory.
I then present literature that demonstrates the connection between disrupted
attachment and the colonization of Indigenous people, mainly through the direct effects and
intergenerational effects of residential school. The concept of attachment has become
controversial among some scholars who state that the theory of attachment does not pertain
to Indigenous people because we have different child rearing practises than Western society.
In Indigenous societies, most children are reared by the extended family in which multiple
generations of family members play an important role in the child's life. I present literature
that agrees with the idea that attachment theory applies to Indigenous people. Attachment
theory taken verbatim may not apply to all cultures, however, the theory of attachment in
relation to, whom and what is important in a child ' s early years does apply. Disrupted and
severed attachment has affected several generations of Indigenous people.
I also look at literature that speaks to define bibliotherapy and portrays the
effectiveness of using bibliotherapy in therapeutic practise. Lastly and most importantly, I
present literature that speaks to the power and importance of storytelling in Indigenous
societies with an emphasis on using storytelling for healing.

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Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory came about through studies and observations made first by John
Bowlby and later by Mary Ainsworth (Birsch, 2002). Bowlby founded attachment theory
based on the premise that young children seek security through maintaining a secure
proximity to an attachment figure, most often their mother (Frude & Killick, 2011 ).
Attachment theory focusses on the emotional development of children and is based on the
belief that children need to be securely attached to at least one adult. This adult must be
sensitive and responsive to their needs in order for them to develop emotional health and
emotional self-regulation. Sensitive responses require that the attachment figure attunes to
the child' s signals, interprets the needs of the child and responds to the child ' s needs
appropriately and promptly (Birsch, 2002).
Secure attachments depend upon the relationship between the child and the caregiver.
In relationships of secure attachment, the parent shares and amplifies the positive emotional

states of the child and shares and soothes the negative emotional states of the child (Haskell,
2009). Securely attached individuals experience joy (Bowlby, 1988). Secure attachment
relationships between parents and children contribute to the resilience of children and
provide the child with a form of protection against violence and antisocial behavior (Levy,
2000). Levy (2000) also states that secure attachments contribute to a child's ability to
regulate emotions and exhibit self-control, develop empathy and morality, differentiate, be
confident and curious, have boundaries and manage stress and adversity and create and
maintain emotionally reciprocal relationships. In order for an attachment bond to be secure,
the attachment figure must be attuned to the needs of the child, first by recognizing there is a
need, and then responding in a timely and appropriate manner to the basic and emotional

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needs of the child (Haskell, 2012). Bowlby (1988) shares that relationships are strengthened
between children and their attachment figures when the attachment figure is available and
responsive to the needs of the child. When the attachment figure is attuned to the needs of the
child, the child learns that she is valued, cared for and understood. The attunement of the
caretaker to the child will help the child to develop their identity, boundary awareness and
regulation of emotions (Haskell, 2012). The attachment bond between children and their
caregivers has implications on the brain. It influences the structure of the brain, and the
development of the prefrontal cortex which is where reasoning, problem solving, flexibility
and other important functions take place (Malchiodi, 2008). Attachment behavior is evident
in children, adolescents and adults and is rooted in ones experiences in their family of origin
(Bowlby, 1988).
When children do not develop a secure attachment to their caregiver, they may
develop the following: avoidant attachment (little physical contact, avoidance of attachment
figure after separation), ambivalent attachment (intense distress after separation, difficult
emotional regulation, hostility toward attachment figure after separation accompanied by the
desire to be close) and/or a disorganized behavior pattern (high stress behavior where the
child's attachment system is activated but the child is unable to express themselves) (Birsch,
2002). Children who develop insecure attachment sometimes display high levels of stress
that may present in some of the following behaviors: crying uncontrollably, paradoxical
behavior such as pushing away and wanting to be consoled at the same time, tantrums,
ambivalence, avoidance and a flat effect showing little or no emotions (Birsch, 2002).
According to Bowlby (1988), threatened attachment leads to anger, jealousy and anxiety and
broken attachments result in grief.

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The long-term effects of ongoing abuse, parental rnisattunement and neglect of the
child often result in the child expecting to be harmed, losing trust in caretakers, developing a
negative sense of self and lacking the feeling of safety. All of these characteristics affect
relationships throughout life due to the hurt and betrayal experienced by the child (Haskell,
2012). According to Levy and Orlans (1998), children who are maltreated frequently
experience anxious and disorganized - disoriented attachment. Common characteristics of
individuals who have been abused and traumatized is to withdraw in an attempt to protect
oneself, which impairs self-reflection and self-awareness and overall sense of self (Haskell,
2012). Survivors of trauma and abuse often become hypervigilant due to being immersed in
a constant state of fear. They are often very reactive with their emotions as they have not
been able to develop their internal regulatory systems. They often have difficulty in
developing healthy and reciprocal relationships (Haskell, 2012). Survivors of trauma and
abuse are often emotionally vulnerable and may lack the skills needed to manage these
vulnerabilities. It is common for these individuals to become dependent on substances to
deal with stress and daily emotional challenges (Haskell, 2012). Levy and Orlans (1998)
report that, parents who abuse drugs and alcohol are less likely to build healthy attachments
with their children. Abuse in childhood often causes children to experience difficulty with
attachment and relationships throughout life. In addition, they are more likely to experience
difficulty in regulating their emotions and impulses. They may have difficulty with deficits
in their attention as well as cognitive impairment and somatic disorders such as pain in the
body (Haskell, 2012).
The attachment experienced in childhood by parents has been linked to the
attachment outcome of their own children later in life, demonstrating that the ability to attach

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has intergenerational implications. Children of parents who have experienced trauma are
often at a higher risk for disorganized attachment, as the parents often bring the effects of
their trauma into their relationship with their children (Birsch, 2002). Quality of parenting is
partially determined biologically but is mainly determined through learned experiences
(Bowlby, 1998). Levy (2000) states that attachment disorder is transmitted
intergenerationally as children with disordered attachments often become parents who are not
able to create secure foundations with their own children. Levy and Orlans (1998) share that
parents who do not repeat the cycles of disrupted attachment share three major
characteristics: (1) they had a supportive and loving relationship with an adult during
childhood (this could be an extended family member, teacher, counselor, foster parent), (2)
they have a supportive partner and/or social support network during their parenting years
and, (3) they received therapy that helped them to resolve their early issues, direct their anger
toward perpetrators rather than themselves and processed their own childhood loss and
trauma.
Mental health issues are linked to the disorganized attachment relationship, in both
parents and children, including but not limited to depression, schizophrenia, anxiety and
borderline personality disorder (Birsch, 2002). Bowlby (1988), states that a contributor to
disorganized attachment is the tendency of a parent to expect their child to look after them
which can lead to school phobia, agoraphobia and depression. Levy (2000) names a variety
of adversities as contributors to disrupted attachment: parental abuse, neglect, psychological
disorders, history of maltreatment as children, depression, substance abuse, domestic
violence, poverty and stress. Levy (2000) describes additional symptoms of disrupted
attachment as, behavior that is impulsive, oppositional, lacking in conscience and empathy,

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inability to give and to receive genuine affection and love as well as displaying angry,
aggressive and violent behavior. According to Davis (1996), common characteristics of
disrupted attachment include: isolation, sadness, shame and believing that one is not loved
and one finds it difficult to love. There is numbness and difficulty finding humor in
situations and life, there is also fear that one will be blamed for the trauma that they endured.
Children with attachment disorders may have negative internal working models that include
negative self-evaluations and self-contempt (Levy 2000).
Researchers of attachment theory have found that the relationships between children
and their caregivers in early life will influence their relationships in later life for better or for
worse (Frude & Killick, 2011 ). Relationship problems and problems with attachment later in
life can result from disrupted attachment (Davis, 1996). Levy (2000) states that individuals
with disrupted attachment have a negative internal working model in which they feel
alienated from family and society in general. They often express a need to control others and
protect themselves, and they often display angry, vindictive, violent and antisocial behaviors.
Disrupted attachment is a form of trauma, often experienced early in life (Davis,
1996). Traumatic experiences trigger the flight, fight or freeze response. Prolonged trauma
can trigger prolonged alarm system reactions that can alter the neurobiology of the brain and
the central nervous system leading to impulsivity (Levy, 2000). Trauma, abuse and neglect
in early childhood have adverse effects on the survivors of the adversity. Disrupted
attachment has long-term effects on emotional regulation and mental and physical health. It
increases ones vulnerability to substance abuse as well as adversely affects the potential for
developing healthy long-term relationships (Malchiodi, 2008).

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Malchiodi (2008) emphasizes the potential for individuals to heal from attachment
disorders through therapeutic interventions, specifically right brain activities such as those
that have an emphasis on creativity. In addition, right brain activities have the potential to
increase the attachment bond between caretakers and children. Levy (2000) states in order to
treat attachment disorder it is important to instill trust, empathy, cooperation and conscience.
Levy (2000) goes on to say that it is important to create attachment patterns in order to
facilitate secure attachment in the parent-child relationship. In addition, he stresses the
importance of developing and maintaining attachment in the context of addressing the social
systems in the life of the child and family.
Residential Schools, Attachment and Indigenous People
In Canada, Indigenous people have been subjected to colonization and racist
legislation that some say was intended for the assimilation and eventual annihilation of
Indigenous languages, cultures and people (Cardinal, 1999; Churchill, 2004; King, 2012;
McKegney, 2007; Niezen, 2013). McKegney (2007) reminds us that "this culturally
genocidal objective provoked adverse effects throughout Indian country" (p. 5).
Colonization for Indigenous people continues to this day in Canada through the Indian Act,
societal ignorance, and through intergenerational trauma which resulted from decades of
abuse inflicted upon Indigenous people (Cardinal, 1999; McKegney, 2007). Through
colonization, many attachments were disrupted in the lives of Indigenous people. Examples
of attachments that were disrupted and in some cases severed include those between parents
and children, and whole extended families and children, Indigenous people and their land,
customs, cultures, governance, language and entire ways of life (Haskell, 2009).

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Colonization has left many Indigenous people with a legacy of coping behaviors resulting
from trauma (McKegney, 2007).
Residential Schools are an example of one initiative of colonization. It is important to
remember that there were many more initiatives historically and many that still exist today
(McKegney, 2007). Basil Johnston (2007) describes the experience of young children sent to
residential school as being homeless, parentless and feeling unwanted and unloved and
having nothing when what they needed the most was love. Morgan (2005) shares the effects
of residential school for a survivor by stating that, not knowing his parents was disturbing, he
felt lost from not receiving love, he felt worthless and thought that his parents did not want
him and in adulthood, he did not know what it meant to be a parent. Fournier and Crey
( 1997) describe the loss of childhood as a result of residential schools and alcohol. The
schools took the children away from their parents and grandparents, many of the children
were abused in the schools, many of the parents and grandparents turned to alcohol as a way
of coping with the loss of their children and the combination of residential schools, abuse and
alcohol has devastated Indigenous people. The use of alcohol as a way of coping is discussed
by Morgan (2005), who says that alcohol was used as a way to deal with the sorrow of not
having their children with them anymore, after the children were taken away to residential
schools: this way of coping was often passed on as a learned behavior to subsequent
generations. McKegney (2007), states that the intention of residential schools was to sever
connections between the children and their Indigenous languages, Indigenous spiritual beliefs
and Indigenous knowledge. This initiative has resulted in severe adversity in the lives of
Indigenous people.

19

Bruchac (2003) speaks of the disruption as a "break in the circle of culture" (p . 148)
and goes on to say that many Indigenous people have been affected by this break and that the
break is a result of separating children from their extended families. Many Indigenous
children did not learn important cultural lessons and many Indigenous parents and
grandparents did not have the opportunity to pass the knowledge on to their children. Morgan
(2005) suggests that the parents' use of alcohol as a way to cope with unbelievable sorrow
was the beginning of the plague of alcohol in Indigenous societies. Chaos erupted in the
absence of the children and the children came home from residential school to virtual
strangers. Abuse was rampant and is now known to be an effect of internalizing the belief
that Indigenous people were not worthy of love, care or respect.
Ing (20 11 ), states that the children who attended residential schools often grew up
not knowing how to be parents due to the fact that they had no parental role models
themselves growing up. She states that their feelings and emotions were often suppressed by
trauma and as a result many did not know how to nurture their own children and did not
know how to give or show affection.
Niezen (2013) describes the similarities between the symptoms suffered by residential
school survivors and those diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), with both
having high rates of substance abuse, suicidal thoughts and behavior, depression, anxiety,
low self-esteem, anger and difficulty recognizing and expressing emotions. Fournier and
Crey (1997) state that many Indigenous societies, including the Sto:lo, viewed mental illness,
as "an expression of cultural estrangement" (p. 44).
Anderson and Denis (20 11) state that issues around identity arose because Indigenous
cultures were believed to be inferior, they stress that a strong self-identity is important for

20

success to be possible. Silver, Ghorayshi, Hay, and Klyne (20 11) agree that the self-esteem
of Indigenous people has been compromised by a societal belief that Indigenous people are
inferior. Many Indigenous people have internalized this belief and report that the belief
manifests itself in a feeling of shame. Battiste (2000) states that the internalized belief in
some Indigenous people that Europeans are superior and Indigenous people are inferior was a
belief that was at times forced upon Indigenous people. The trauma of disrupted attachment
also disconnected Indigenous people from their sense of belonging in the community and
their sense of cultural identity (Haskell, 2009). Mowatt (2000), states that every human
being has a need for security and a need to feel like they belong.
In his book Healing the Soul Wound, Eduardo Duran (2006) refers to the perpetuation
of the cycles of abuse in Indigenous communities by using a metaphor of being bitten by
vampires, this happens when abused people become abusers. Anderson (20 11) states that
epidemic rates of violence exist in Indigenous communities because of the violence inflicted
upon Indigenous people through colonization. Cycles of violence that are not broken are
often repeated and passed onto children. Many Indigenous people continue to experience the
adversities of violence, neglect, mental illness, substance abuse, addictions and other acts of
impaired trauma responses (Haskell, 2009). Historical trauma results in grief and is
intergenerational (Niezen, 2013 ).
Indigenous traditions rely heavily on the close connections between the generations.
Elders are valued in Indigenous cultures as the teachers and the sharing of their knowledge is
believed to prevent troubles among the people, when this is absent, there is a strong potential
for chaos (Bruchac, 2003). Duran (2006) describes intergenerational trauma through the

21

term "soul wound" (p. 16). He describes a soul wound as trauma that is not healed in one
generation and then manifests itself and is problematic in subsequent generations.
Graveline (1998) reminds us that our Indigenous ancestors recognized connection and
believed we are to be aware of everything around us and be responsible for others, hence the
saying "all my relations" (p. 115). Mowatt (2000) also speaks about the interdependence of
all things and adds that stories remind us that we are all related to everyone and everything.
Graveline (1998) goes on to say that it is important for Indigenous people to identify
themselves as individuals who are part of an Indigenous culture within the context of the
dominant culture to ensure success and survival.
Morgan (2005) speaks of the survival of residential school students as strength. She
describes the survivor' s ability to adapt as having the spirit of Coyote. Stout and Peters
(20 11) talk about the intergenerational effects of resilience in Indigenous societies stating
that, it is important to recognize and build upon the fact that the survivors of residential
school have passed their strength and determination on to subsequent generations.
Bibliotherapy
The word bibliotherapy is a combination of the Greek words, bib lion, meaning book
and oepattied, meaning healing (Rubin, 1978). Bibliotherapy is the reading and processing
ofliterature for therapeutic purposes. According to Schechtman (2009), there are two types
of bibliotherapy. Cognitive bibliotherapy is focussed on changing behaviors. The literature
is specific to the behavior that the client wants to change and most of the work is done
independently by the client. Affective bibliotherapy is most commonly used in therapy with
children and uses fiction and other genres of literature to connect the reader to a variety of
emotional and human experiences in a less directive way. People from any culture, age

22

group or socio-economic background can access bibliotherapy materials for the purpose of
healing and personal growth. Bums (200 1) explains bibliotherapy as stories that speak to a
listener and may be preventative, emphasizing health and healing. He goes on to say that
stories can foster an empowering relationship bond between the teller and listener.
According to Lacher, Nichols, Nichols and May (2012) story time provides children and their
attachment figures with an opportunity to bond. Storytelling has the potential to provide
close physical proximity, feelings of safety, security, affection and trust forming emotional
connections and attunement between the child and their caregiver.
Sunderland (2000) says that the benefit of using story in therapy with troubled
children is that stories offer a gentle and respectful way of communicating. They convey a
sense of empathy and they transcend the narrow realms of cognition and encourage the
listener to enter the realms of imagination to explore their issues. Bibliotherapy provides
safety around the issues to be addressed by providing an opening and acceptability to talk
about a variety of issues (Rizza, 1997). Stories provide a sensible way to therapeutically
communicate with children (Bums, 2005).
According to Sunderland (2000), bibliotherapy is an especially effective method of
enhancing therapy with children because children are limited in their language. The natural
language of children is that of image and metaphor just like those found in stories and
dreams. Schechtman (2009) emphasizes that the role of the therapist is to help the client to
identify the feelings and emotions that may arise as result of the story and to help the client to
express, understand and process these emotions in a non-judgemental way.
Davis ( 1996), states that victims of trauma have more activity in the right side of the
brain, the side where images, visions and emotions are located and that the left side of the

23

brain, where speech and logic are located is sometimes shut down entirely. Therapeutic
stories are meant to reach right brain functioning and as a result, stories are an effective
means of treating survivors of trauma. Sunderland (2000) states that the everyday language
of human beings is not adequate to express the intensity of emotions felt; therefore, emotions
are often expressed through the arts such as poetry, art, music, theatre and story.
When people become engaged with a story that speaks to familiar situations in their
own lives, they may be able to view the situations more objectively and then apply the stories
solutions to their own experiences (Rizza, 1997). According to Burns (2001), stories are
more helpful when they emulate the struggles of the client. Sunderland (2000), shares that
therapeutic stories provide children with hope and possibility and options for overcoming
adversity, ultimately providing options for transforming self. Carlson and Arthur (1999)
state that bibliotherapy enhances therapy with those who have been traumatized and those
who have behavioural and emotional difficulties. Through stories, children are able to
identify with characters that have experienced similar circumstances and learn effective ways
of overcoming adversity. The use of bibliotherapy is especially effective to use with children
who have identity issues and trouble with low self-esteem.
Stories provide learning opportunities for people, especially children. Bibliotherapy
has the power to enhance self-awareness and insight, develop empathy, offer information,
insight and solutions and most importantly hope (Pehrsson, 2005). Stories can help us to
redefme our experiences in life, provide meaning for the adverse situations that we encounter
and help us to make sense of what may feel like chaos at the time (Bums, 2001). Stories
have the power to bypass resistance, provide opportunities for interaction, provide an outlet

24

for and foster creativity, focus on solutions and encourage the listener to problem solve
independently (Burns, 2005).
The influence of the writer has profound effects on the content of the story.
Culturally appropriate literature can enhance the knowledge and appreciation of one's own
culture and customs and generate pride in one's self and culture (Pehrsson, 2005). It is
important for children to relate to the stories told to them as literature is a reflection of the
culture, views, society and point of reference of the person authoring the literature (Ouzts,
1994).

Indigenous Healing through Storytelling
Stories are an integral part of Indigenous societies and are recognized as both an art
form and a way of transmitting knowledge. Stories have the power to invoke deep thought,
contemplation and reflection for both the storyteller and the listener. Stories relay important
messages, offer healing, give testimony, and the compilation of many stories within a group
creates a collective story (Archibald, 2012). In Mcllwraith (2012), Tahltan Elder Arthur
Nole shares the importance of stories to the Tahltan people. Stories tie the Tahltan people to
their history and landscape, stories demonstrate that Tahltan people have inhabited the area
since myth times and children and grandchildren are told stories to teach morals, values and
beliefs in accordance with Tahltan traditions. Morgan (2005) describes storytelling as an
empowering form of communication that can, bridge a gap between generations, strengthen
identities, change perceptions and deal with and share painful memories in Indigenous
histories. Through storytelling, Indigenous people practise the important skill of listening, as
most Indigenous societies believe that it is important to listen twice as much as we speak
(Graveline, 1998). A lot of the teaching that occurs within Indigenous societies is done

25

through storytelling. Elders are the primary members of the community who share stories
with the younger generations. Stories are based largely on the experiences of the people.
There is often a trickster figure in the stories who answers questions of curiosity and who
demonstrates the consequences of unacceptable behavior (Little Bear, 2000). Mowatt
(2000), states that stories teach values and bring awareness to the young in regard to their
human potential. Many storytellers speak of their responsibility to share stories with future
generations (Green, 2007). Mowatt (2000) believes that storytelling has the power to guide
young Indigenous people to a healthy system of values by presenting the young with a
variety of situations and outcomes.
With the loss of language, also came the loss of stories and the loss of strong
identities is also associated with the loss of stories (Green, 2007). In addition, Green (2007)
reports that there is a concern that stories are not being shared in families as often as they
were traditionally, due to the breakdown of the extended family and the introduction of the
more nuclear family living situations among many Indigenous families today.
Green (2007) speaks of strengthening family bonds and using storytelling as a form of
prevention with today's generation of children and youth. Mainstream values have
manifested themselves in the lives of Aboriginal children and youth, leaving parents with a
difficult but necessary responsibility to pass on the history, values and beliefs of the
Indigenous cultures, a task that can be enhanced through the use of story. Green (2007),
reports that many Indigenous storytellers believe that stories play an integral role in
Indigenous families. The passing on of valuable, identity strengthening information and the
connections formed through the telling of stories are thought to be crucial to the well-being
of Indigenous people. Familial relationships are strengthened through storytelling. Many

26

Indigenous people report that storytelling in families is common and that many members of
the family share stories (Green, 2007).
Archibald (2012), shares that stories have healing powers and continue to be
important to Indigenous people. According to Hart (2002), storytelling is a form of
traditional Indigenous healing and the stories used depend upon the situation in which they
are needed. Storytelling as a form of healing for Indigenous people involves the acquisition
ofknowledge from our Ancestors (Graveline, 1998). Anderson (2000) talks about
storytelling as a connection to our Ancestors and reminds readers that our Ancestors become
present with us through stories. Green (2007) also speaks of storytelling as connecting to the
beliefs and cultures of the Ancestors.
Indigenous healers hold a strong focus on the relationship between the helper and the
person being helped. Inevitably there is a belief that both people will be helped in some way
through the relationship. In order to be an effective helper, Indigenous healers believe that
one must speak from the heart in a non-directive way. In speaking from the heart, the helper
is more likely to reach the heart of the listener (Hart, 2002). McKegney (2007) stresses the
importance of Indigenous literature for both the healing of the author and the potential for
influencing positive change in others. Storytellers inevitably impart their own experiences
into the stories that they tell. In addition, the listeners hear the story through their own point
of reference and interpret the content of the story to make sense of their own situations
(Wilson, 2008). The storyteller is a well-respected member of the Nation. They hold the
responsibility of transmitting knowledge integral to the strength and survival of the nation as
a whole (Green, 2007).

27

McKegney (2007) speaks of Indigenous literature as both understudied and having
the potential to foster, " imaginative visions for plausible futures" (p. 6). Anderson (2000)
talks about the importance of Indigenous people resisting historical atrocities that have
happened most often in childhood, by becoming empowered through stories. According to
Bruchac (2003), there is a Cheyenne teaching that says there is a time to get rid of that which
cannot help us and to refill our cups with life, through stories. Anderson (2000) speaks of
storytelling as a form of Indigenous resistance and a way to preserve language, culture and
the oral tradition. Indigenous storytellers have said that stories told in the languages of the
Indigenous people are clearer, more humorous and more easily understood (Green, 2007).
Kroskrity (20 12) speaks to the importance of stories in preserving Indigenous teachings and
language. In many Indigenous societies today, people are focussing their efforts on the
storytelling of the Elders to preserve the language and the teachings of the people.
Maintaining an Indigenous identity is a struggle for many Indigenous people due to
the fact that many Indigenous people strive to balance their lives in two very different
cultures, their own and that of the dominant society (Green, 2007). Indigenous stories are
integral to a strong sense of identity, as well as a way to communicate gender roles,
especially in regard to the sacredness and respect that Indigenous people historically have for
women (Anderson, 2000). Many Indigenous Elders believe that the sharing of stories
strengthens the identities of each person by giving them Ancestral knowledge and a sense of
where they came from (Green, 2007). Mowatt (2000) agrees that stories strengthen identity
and adds that stories foster resilience and help to restore and preserve culture.

28

McKegney (2007) shares that the antidotes to the effects of residential school are
woven into Indigenous writing, including, connection to nature, resistance, family
connections and the art of writing itself.
Summary
In summary, there is a purpose and necessity for Indigenous stories of hope for
Indigenous families . Stories have long had an important place in Indigenous societies.
Traditionally, Indigenous people have shared, conversed, entertained, learned and healed
through stories. The art of storytelling as healing has been practised in Indigenous societies
long before colonization, which is evidence of the effectiveness of storytelling for the
purpose of healing, also called bibliotherapy. Indigenous people have endured disrupted and
severed attachment in many forms. Storytelling has the power to heal disrupted attachment
by connecting loved ones to one another through story and also by connecting Indigenous
people to Indigenous paradigm through story.

29

Chapter Three: Introduction to the Stories
Story One: Introduction to Porty Hardcore
Party Hardcare is a story about a child' s attachment to his Grandmother. It is a story
about a child's resilience, a resilience that is developed and maintained through his
attachment to his Grandmother. Throughout the story, the child faces adversity at school due
to the unkind actions of Porty. Following the difficult incidences, the child returns to his
Grandmother, who affirms her love for him, his worth and who teaches him the skills that he
needs to deal with the bullying. The skills that Grandmother teaches the child are;
understanding for Porty, empathy for Porty, seeking help from a trusted adult and prayer.
Tsu Tsu has many qualities that support secure attachment, she is emotionally present for the
child, she is attuned to the emotional needs of the child and helps the child to process his
feelings in a healthy and loving way. Tsu Tsu is consistent in her love for the child and is
consistent in her availability and responses to the child ' s needs and she responds lovingly.
Tsu Tsu provides the child with security through her consistent availability, healthy
emotional responses and empathy for all of the children involved.
Party Hardcare is a story that is based on actual experience. The experience occurred
for my son, Phoenix (grade two at the time) when we relocated from our remote northern
village of Iskut, BC to the larger urban center of Terrace, BC. Phoenix experienced a series
of adversities in his new school, mostly related to bullying. We tried numerous ways of
dealing with the bullying in consultation with the school and in some cases the parents of the
other children, but nothing seemed to curb the bullying. Phoenix was eventually taken out of
this particular school, homeschooled for the remainder of the year and then entered into a
different school for his grade four year. I wrote Party Hardcare with the assistance of my

30

two children, Phoenix and Jericho, as a healing exercise for our family. Phoenix was
fortunate, in that, he had a lot of support while he was experiencing the bullying. A lot of the
support he received came from his Tsu Tsu (Grandma in Tahltan). In writing the story, I
wanted to show children that it is possible to endure hardship and that the love of your
extended family can be your main source of support. Bullies don't behave the way that they
behave because they are feeling good about themselves, it is quite the opposite. In the story,
Tsu Tsu prays for the young child who is the bully. She shares with her young grandson that
Porty is sad and that is why he is being mean; not as an excuse but as an understanding.
Victims of bullies often feel that they are at fault, and sometimes the authorities endorse this
belief. It is important for young victims of bullies to know that they are not at fault and it is
not them whom has the problem. It is also important for the victim to have empathy for the
perpetrator while still remaining in protection of one ' s self, both physically and in regard to
self-esteem. The victim in this story learns all of these lessons through the love and
attachment to his Tsu Tsu. His attachment to his Tsu Tsu helps him to endure the adversity
he is facing. The story speaks to the attachment of a child to his extended family, often
Grandparents play an integral role in the lives of their Indigenous grandchildren.
Party Hardcore is an excellent story for parents and other significant attachment
figures to share with their children. The story is particularly effective to use with children
who have experienced, or who are experiencing the adversity of bullying. The relationship
between the child in the story and his Grandmother demonstrates a strong attachment bond.
The attachment bond is a key element in the resiliency of the child who is being bullied. The
love, security and protection of the Grandmother in the story, helps to build a strong sense of
identity, empathy and safety in the child.

31

After reading the story with a child, the attachment figure may choose to discuss the
following points with the child:
•

I wonder if there anyone in your life who reminds you ofTsu Tsu.

•

I wonder why Tsu Tsu prayed for Porty Hardcore.

•

I wonder what helped the child in the story to understand the behavior of the bully.
Malchiodi (2008) suggests using a series of questions to help invoke discussion and

encourage the processing of stories. The following questions were taken from Malchiodi
(2008 , p. 182):
•

Are you like any of the story' s characters?

•

Do any of the characters remind you of someone?

•

Who would you like to be in the story?

•

Is there anything you would like to change about the story?

•

How would you change the characters, what happened, or how the story ended?

•

What is your favourite part of the story?

•

Did anything in the story ever happen to you?

•

What do you think will happen to the characters in this story tomorrow, in a few
weeks, or a year from now?

Any of the aforementioned questions can be used to process the story of Party Hardcare.
Dramatic play is usually popular with children. Party Hardcare is a story that can be
acted out by children and their facilitator. The children can act out different scenarios to the
story such as, what would have happened if the boy in the story handled the situation
differently? By doing this, children are encouraged to discover their own solutions to the
problems of bullying. This activity will provide children with an opportunity to recall prior

32

knowledge about bullying and share this knowledge with other children. Dramatic play
about bullying also has the potential to get the children on the same page with solutions to
bullying. When children come up with their own solutions, they tend to be more likely to
implement it because it is theirs. Filming the dramatic play is also a possible activity that the
facilitator can implement with the children. The children can then share their product with
their parents and/or friends to share what they have learned about bullying and reinforce their
beliefs about bullying and the solutions they came up with to deal with situations of bullying.

Story One
Porty Hardcore

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine! "

Today at school, Porty said that I am a loser.
He said that I cannot run fast in gym.
He laughed at me when I needed help in Math.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine!"

33

Porty didn't have a lunch today.
I dido 't laugh at him, no one did.
Our Teacher gave Porty an apple and some of the other kids
gave him some snacks.
I was afraid to help Porty because he thinks that I am a loser.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine!"

At recess today, we built a great big snowman!
We called him the world ' s biggest snowman.
He was to the sky!

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, " I love you more than sunshine!"

Our snowman wasn't big for very long.
Porty and his gang ran by yelling "losers! "
They kicked our snowman right over.

34

We felt very sad and afraid.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine!"

During journal time today Porty started to cry.
I wondered why Porty was so sad.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine!"

Today I told my Tsu Tsu about Porty.
I told her that Porty called me a loser.
I told her that Porty destroyed our snowman.
I told her that Porty didn ' t have a lunch and
I told her that Porty was crying.

My Tsu Tsu said " It sounds like Porty is sad,"
"sometimes when people are sad they act mean."

She said that crying when we are sad helps us to get better.

35

She said that being nice to someone who is sad is the right thing to do.
She said that telling an adult when someone is mean to me will help all the kids.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, " I Jove you more than sunshine!"
When my Tsu Tsu hugs me I feel safe.
When she tells me she loves me more than sunshine,
I feel as warm as the sunshine.

I don't really like it when she pinches my big cheeks!

I asked my Tsu Tsu, "do you think
anyone loves Party more than sunshine?"
She said, "all children are loved more than sunshine! "
Then she said a prayer for Party to be happy and to be kind.

My Tsu Tsu loves me.
She hugs me and pinches my big cheeks.
She kisses me on the top of my head and she says, "I love you more than sunshine!

36

Story Two: Introduction to Sam, Peggy Ann and Sus
Sam, Peggy Ann and Sus is a story about a mother' s attachment with her children, it is
a story about a family ' s survival, dealing with fear and sibling connection. Sam, Peggy Ann
and Sus is about two siblings and their Mom set in the 1960s in the area of Iskut, BC. The
story speaks to the attachment connection between a mother and her children, as their
primary caregiver. In the story, the mother is the sole caretaker of the children and defines
both gender roles (mother and father) . It is a retelling of a story that my Mom told to me, a
story I didn 't want to forget so I wrote it down. It is about my Mom (Peggy Ann) and her
brother playing in the woods and they come across a bear. Peggy Ann tells her brother to
wait in the tree and she runs off to get her Mother and they return to the scene of the bear
circling the vicinity of the tree where Sam waited. My Grandma shot the bear and they kept
the meat for food . When I wrote the story I thought of it as a memory of my Mom's that I
didn ' t want to forget, when I re-read the story I realized that it was about much more than a
bear.
The story is about attachment, it is about safety, it is about an older sibling looking
out for the younger. It is about saving the life of the ones you love, it is about survival. It is
about a single mother protecting her young and respecting the life she took to save her kids'
lives and then feeding them with the meat of the animal who was a threat, it is about
transforming a threat to sustenance. The mother represents safety for the children; she goes
to great lengths to save her children, even risking her own safety. In the story, the bear is
literally a bear, to a reader the bear may represent another threat or adversity. The content
surprised me. The story speaks to all of these key points without ever pointing them out or

37

summarizing them for the reader. It is the responsibility of the reader, or listener, to interpret
the meaning and draw their own conclusions without the help or prompting of the author or
storyteller.
I have had the privilege of hearing this story from both, my Mom and her Mom, my
Grandmother. It wasn't until recently that I realized it was the same story which is
interesting to me, and speaks to the variation in storytelling and the importance of the
interpretation of the listener. The parts that I found important in the telling ofboth renditions
had similarities and differences. When my Grandmother told me the story, the part that I
found most compelling was that she shot the bear and that she was pregnant at the time.
When my Mother told me the story, the part that I found most compelling was that she and
her sibling were endangered by the bear and that they were lucky one of them was able to go
and get Grandma so that she could shoot it. When I showed the story that I had written to my
Mom she corrected me on some of the details. I almost changed the story but decided not to,
with her permission, as some of the content would be altered significantly.
The actual bear was a Grizzly, which is different from the story where the bear is Sus,
a Black Bear. My Mom told me that Sam was the one who actually went to get Grandma and
Mom waited for them in the tree. When Grandma came back, she took both of her children
with her and they tracked the bear together. This was very dangerous as Grizzly bears are
known to circle around anything and anyone perceived to be a threat and this bear was aware
of their presence. Upon tracking and shooting the bear, the bear had escaped my pregnant
Grandmother and her two children. My Mom was okay with me keeping the story in an
altered state for the purpose of demonstrating their attachment to their Mom and their
reliance upon her for safety and protection. The detail that I added about eating Sus is

38

something that our people would actually do, had the bear been Sus. Sus is a delicacy to our
people. The purpose of adding this detail was to demonstrate the importance of Sus to the
diet of the Tahltan and the respect that we have for utilizing an animal after we have taken its
life.

Sam, Peggy Ann and Sus is a story that would be an excellent resource to share with
children who are living in a single parent home. The story speaks to the love that a mother
has for her children and the great lengths that she goes to in order to protect them and provide
for them. Some discussion starters to use after reading the story with a child are:
•

I wonder how the children were feeling when the bear was circling below
them.

•

I wonder what was going on for them when their mama was tracking the bear.

•

I wonder how they felt when mama finally got the bear.

•

I wonder how they felt when the bear provided them with food.

•

I wonder what it was like for the children to live in the bush with their mama.

There is a strong possibility that this story will remind the child(ren) of stories that
they have heard in their own families . Children love to re-tell stories and doing so provides
them with an opportunity to share and to feel important and attended to. Story circle time is
an opportunity for children to take turns being the storyteller, in many Indigenous families,
stories are part of life. There is a very good chance that many of the children know stories
and would be willing to share. In story circle time, a chair is placed in a circle - much like
the way a teacher sits on a chair to tell a story and the children sit in a circle around the
teacher. The storytelling child sits on the chair and the rest of the participants sit in a circle,
usually on the floor, around them. The storyteller now has the stage and begins to re-tell a

39

story that he/she knows. This activity provides child(ren) with opportunities to build their
confidence and self-esteem and also encourages children to carry forward the tradition of
storytelling, the activity validates the art of storytelling and assures them that they can do it!

Story Two
Sam, Peggy Ann and Sus

Sam and Peggy Ann lived deep in the wild woods.
They played among pine trees, wildflowers and soft green moss.

Their mama cared for them all by herself.

Peggy Ann had chores to do and babies to help take care of.
Sam had water to haul up a long steep hill.

They lived in a small cabin with a grassy roof
Sometimes they didn't have much,
But one thing they always had was love.

They loved to escape into the forest

40

They loved to climb trees.
For it was there that they talked about their dreams.

She wanted to fly high in the skies all over the world.
He wanted to play the guitar and read books until the sun went down.

They both had long black hair and soft brown skin.
They were strong and smart and brave.
They loved their mama with all their hearts
She always said, "I Jove you more! "

One time they were playing in the bush
and they heard the sound of a black bear nearby.
The sound was getting louder and louder,
The sound was getting nearer and nearer.

They heard the sound of sus breathing through his nose "hmph, hmph, hmph".
They heard the sound of sus' feet stomping the mossy earth

41

"thump, crunch, thump, crunch"

They looked at one another in fear and panic.
Mama had always told them to watch out for sus, the black bear.
They sat on the branch up high up in the tree, they were very afraid.
Sus can climb trees.
If he wanted to he could climb after them and get them!

They watched sus as he walked on the soft green moss below
"thump ... crunch ... .thump .... crunch".
Sus walked very slowly but he didn't look up.

After a while sus shook his head and walked off into the bushes.
They looked at each other and sighed in relief.
Sus was not hungry or angry.
They were very lucky that he left them alone.

Peggy Ann climbed down the tree and ran.
She ran and ran and ran.
She ran through the trees and the brush

42

She burst into the cabin and hugged her mama
"come quick mama, sus is nearby and Sam is stuck in the tree!"

Mama grabbed her gun and they ran back to the tree where Sam waited,
Sam was patiently perched on a branch, reading his pocket book.

Peggy Ann climbed back up the tree to Sam
Mama walked off to track the bear.
Sam read to Peggy Ann while they waited and tried their hardest not to be afraid.

Moments later they heard the gun shot and the mighty sound of sus taking his last breath

They raised their hands to the sky and thanked the Creator for keeping their mama safe and
for giving them the gift of food.

The children helped their mama cut up the meat and carry it home to their cabin.
It was a lot of work but they worked with cheerful hearts

That night mama smoked the meat over a fire made of poplar.

43

The smell was divine and the children waited while their stomachs growled.

Mama boiled the meat for a very long time.
The meat became very soft, soft enough for even the babies to eat!
They sat together and ate the meat quietly.
Mama smiled as she brought them each more meat,
She was very proud to feed her babies and to take care of them all by herself.

They thanked sus and celebrated with full bellies and big smiles!

44

Story Three: Introduction to The Sweater
The Sweater is a true story about divorce and the resulting disrupted attachment
between a Mother and her children. It is about the coping strategies of a child who maintains
her attachment to her Mother in a variety of ways. The Sweater is also about relocation
resulting from divorce and the ways that children cope with this form of disrupted
attachment.

The Sweater is based on a true story and is about the divorce that occurred between
my parents when I was eight and the move that occurred when I was nine. My sister is
fifteen months older than I. When we were relocated to another province (Ontario), we took
with us many things that our Mother had made for us. The Sweater in the story is one of
these items. I got the idea for the story, upon listening to Gabor Mate speak at a forum in
Terrace. He was talking about disrupted attachment and how items that are special to a child
hold significant meaning and help the child to maintain an attachment to the absent parent
(attachment figure) . I started to think about the treasures that I had collected up as a child
that reminded me of my Mom. There were many. I used to wear a locket around my neck in
the shape of a teardrop with her picture in it. All of the clothes she made for us we would
wear until they were obviously small and then we would keep them as treasures to take out
when we missed her. To someone who has never experienced a disrupted attachment, it may
sound silly that a simple sweater can bring so much comfort to a child who is missing his or
her attachment figure. It is very important for the adults in that child's life to respect the
child's attachment item that may bring them security and closeness to the person whom they
so desperately miss.

45

The story of The Sweater is meant to speak to the importance of maintaining the
attachment connection in any way, even if it is an itchy old sweater. Any and all connections
that the child can maintain with the attachment figure matter deeply to the child.
The Sweater may be a helpful resource to use with children who are separated from
their attachment figure and who are experiencing disrupted attachment. After reading The
Sweater, the following discussion starters may help to initiate the processing of the stories
contents:
•

I wonder why the girl in the story felt closer to her mom when she wore the
sweater.

•

Maybe you have something that reminds you of someone special?

If the story has been shared with a group of children, the facilitator may choose to
implement some connecting activities with the story. The group may choose to have an
attachment item show and tell where each child brings something to share with the group that
reminds them of someone who they are close to. Each child should be given the opportunity
to share the story of their attachment item. In addition, the facilitator may choose to have the
children write a story about their attachment item, or draw a picture of when they got it. The
facilitator should be aware of the potential sensitivity of the attachment item for the children
depending on their own story. It is important for the facilitator to be aware of behavioral
cues from the children and to be responsive to their needs while processing their attachment
items.
Children love to make up their own stories. Story writing may be an effective activity
to do with children after reading The Sweater. Whether working with an individual child or a
group of children, the facilitator can help the child(ren) to create a story of their own about an

46

attachment item. The story could depict the adventures of an attachment item of the child ' s
choosing. Perhaps the attachment item is an actual item of theirs and speaks to the journey
that they have been on using the metaphor of the journey of the item. For example, a foster
child who moves frequently may own a teddy bear that travels with him. A healing activity
for the child may be to tell his story through the experience of the teddy bear. The story can
depict actual circumstances or imagined circumstances depending on what the child chooses
to write. The child can then have the opportunity to re-write the story for the teddy bear by
concentrating on an ultimate adventure for the bear that is focussed on hope for the child.

47

Story Three
The Sweater

Daddy says that we are moving.
He said that we are moving away in October.
"That's okay", I say,
"it's only August, we have lots oftime."

But August goes away,
And then September goes away,
And here we are ....
In October.

Daddy says, "pack your things",
"we don't have very much room,
So only bring what is important."
"Can we take Mommy?" I ask.

48

I start to pack my things.
It is really hard to decide what is important . . ...

I pack my doll, Mandy.
I pack my monkey, Mortimer.
I pack my sweater that Mommy knit for me.
These things are all very important.

I sleep in my sweater,
I eat in my sweater,
I play in my sweater,
All day in my sweater,
It reminds me of Mommy.

The next day we get in the van.
Daddy lets us bring our kitten, Tuffy.
Daddy lets us listen to Mommy' s favourite music,
And we start to drive.

49

I feel happy that we are on an adventure.
I feel sad that Mommy is not with us.

We pass lots and lots of towns,
And it gets very dark.
We stop for the night at a hotel,
And Daddy buys us a grilled cheese sandwich.

The next day we are back on the road early,
And we pass through lots and lots of cities and towns,
We go through different provinces.
Soon there are no more mountains .....
I don 't understand,
Where are we going?

so
This is so far away,
We won 't be able to visit Mommy
Every weekend,
Like I thought. .. .. . .
I feel scared.

I hug my sweater around me.
My sweater is pink and grey,
It has wooden buttons,
Four down the front.
I like the pointy hood
And the warm hug it gives me
It reminds me of my Mommy.

Finally we get to a big lake,
Daddy says it is called Lake Superior.
I can' t believe that it is a lake!
We can 't even see across it!
It is very cold and very windy,

51

I'm glad I have my warm sweater on!

I sleep in my sweater,
I eat in my sweater,
I play in my sweater,
All day in my sweater,
It reminds me of Mommy.

It takes a long time to get to Ottawa
But finally we get there!
Ontario is very flat.
We meet lots of nice people.

Daddy lets us call Mommy and we tell her
All about the trip.
We tell her we love her,
We tell her we miss her,
She says "you hang up first"
And we say "no you! "

52

Then we count to three
And we see if we can hang up
At the same time.

Someday I will visit my Mommy.
I'm glad we get to talk on the phone.
I'm happy we write each other letters.

Even though the sleeves on my sweater
Are getting too short,
I'm going to wear it because
I got it from my Mommy

I sleep in my sweater,
I eat in my sweater,
I play in my sweater,
All day in my sweater,
It reminds me of Mommy.

53

Story Four: Introduction to Tsu Tsu's Last Supper
Tsu Tsu 's Last Supper is a story about death, Tahltan traditions in relation to death,

grief from a child's perspective and attachment in a spiritual sense, after death has separated
people in the physical world. Tsu Tsu 's last Supper is a story about spiritual attachment, the
attachment that endures beyond life on earth. The story is about a healthy attachment
between a Grandmother and her descendants and the traditional Tahltan understandings about
death. It is important to note that this story does not speak to and/or contain all Tahltan
traditions and beliefs about death. This story is intended to affirm healthy and secure
attachments that do exist, it is meant to support growth and to strengthen and empower
existing secure attachments. It is also a story that speaks to loss and so it is an informational
story to help people identify the cultural connection to attachment; how culture and
attachment intermix both in life and after death.
Tsu Tsu 's Last Supper is a story inspired by the death of my Grandmother. The death

of anyone in the Tahltan Nation is a significant loss. The death of a Tsu Tsu is a devastating
loss. For most of the time that I lived in Iskut, I worked in the school. I saw firsthand how
the death of a loved one affects the children: death for the children has a tremendous impact
on them. I also was privileged to witness their resilience and their understanding of our
culture in relation to death. The way that their families dealt with the mourning and the way
that the children were instructed in our cultural ways is something that I will never forget.
Tahltan people have very strict customs upon the death of a member of the Nation.
Traditions are apparent for the children, as well as the adults. Children are not permitted to
go outside. If they have to go outside they should wear coal from the ashes of a fire called

54

t' es on their noses to keep them safe. Young souls are believed to be vulnerable and need to
be kept safe during the time of a soul in transition. Tahltans believe that the time of
mourning is to be respected and taken very seriously so as to not bring more tragedy to the
people. The number of customs and traditions followed by the Tahltan are many, not all
have been included in the story. The intention of writing the story is to talk about death from
the perspective of a child. The beliefs depicted in the story are common to Tahltan people:
Children grow up knowing the customs as they are taught from a very young age. The book
is informative for children who may not be raised in the traditions of our people. The story
also serves as an important reminder that our loved ones may die in body but we know that
they continue to visit us in spirit, through memories, dreams and through the places they
loved to visit as well as through the stories that they shared with us before they passed. This
story is one that parents can read with their children for the purpose of being emotionally
present during a difficult time.
Death is inevitable; the grief is shared by all members of the Nation, especially the
immediate family. It is common for members to gather together in times of significant loss,
it is my hope that families will gather during these times of sadness and perhaps share with
one another through story while strengthening attachment bonds.
After reading Tsu Tsu 's Last Supper with a child or group of children, the facilitator
may choose discussion starters to initiate the processing of the story. Some suggestions for
discussion starters are as follows:
•

It seems like the children in the story know a lot about what Tahltans do when

someone dies.
•

I wonder what else the children might know about dying.

55

•

I wonder what else the children might know about Tahltan traditions when
someone dies.

•

I wonder if anyone here has ever been to a last supper.

•

I wonder what it was like for the kids to stay inside for such a long time.

•

It sounds like the kids in the story were very close to their Tsu Tsu.

•

I wonder what the kids meant at the end of the story when they said their Tsu
Tsu would always be with them.

The story Tsu Tsu 's Last Supper speaks to several key elements in the grieving
process for Tahltan people. When the children say that Tsu Tsu will always be with us, they
are speaking to several key Tahltan beliefs about death such as: reincarnation, the connection
between the spirit world and our world, interconnectedness in life and death and the
permanence of souls. These beliefs help in the grieving process. It is comforting to know
that our loved ones leave in body but their spirit is all around us, guiding, protecting and
loving, just as they did in life.
Videotherapy is an effective way of reaching children through stories. Often videos
hold important life lessons and speak to human experiences through metaphor or imaginary
characters. Children are particularly receptive to this form of teaching because it is noninvasive and is entertaining. Brother Bear (2003) is a movie for children about death,
integrity and honor. The movie portrays many common Indigenous beliefs about death such
as reincarnation, interconnectedness, karma and everlasting life. Two brothers are devastated
when their brother dies and are comforted to know that he is everlasting. Through
reincarnation the brothers are given a chance to mend their differences and one brother
becomes responsible for protecting the life of a baby bear after its mother is killed by the

56

carelessness of one of the three brothers. The movie speaks to responsibility and
consequences of behavior, both in life and in death. It is important for children to be able to
process their grief in order to understand it and to work through it. Movies and stories
provide a great opening for children to be able to open up about their beliefs and feelings
around death.
In the story Tsu Tsu 's Last Supper, the children witness the feeding ofthe fire. In
many Indigenous cultures, there is a belief in the symbolism of smoke carrying items, prayers
and/or messages to the ones we love who have passed on to the other side. Individuals can
write a letter to their loved one who has died and say all of the things that they didn ' t get a
chance to say. After writing the letter (or drawing pictures should they be too young to
write), the child (with the help and supervision of an adult) can then burn what they have
written to their loved one and send it up to them with the smoke of the fire. This activity
provides the child with a means to release what they want to communicate to their deceased
loved one and also symbolically maintains their connection to their loved one.

57

Story Five
Tsu Tsu's Last Supper
Tsu Tsu in Tahltan is Grandmother
Ch 'iyone in Tahltan is Wolf
Tsesk 'iye in Tahltan is Crow
T'es in Tahltan is charcoal from the fire (may not be spelled correctly)

Tsu Tsu is very sick.
Tsu Tsu doesn't eat very much,
She doesn't talk very much either.
Tsu Tsu sleeps a lot,
We sit with her and watch over her.

Lots of people from back home
Are coming to see her,
To say good bye.
Mama said Tsu Tsu will be leaving us soon.

Mama said we need to let her go.
So she won't hurt anymore.

Tsu Tsu lived a long life,
She raised up lots of kids,
She had lots of grandchildren,

58

And great grandchildren,
She called them her "greats".

The nurse called,
They said come quick,
She is passing,
All the adults went
And Tsu Tsu passed.

Tsu Tsu is Ch' iyone,
The Tsesk' iye people took care ofTsu Tsu
And all of her stuff,
We took her back home together,
Chi'yone and Tsesk'iye people.

We stayed inside,
We weren't allowed to play around
Outside and make lots of noise.
Mama said we had to show respect,
For our Tsu Tsu and our people.

Mama put t' es on our noses
If we had to go outside at all

59

It was to keep us safe she said.

Days and days went by,
And we were getting restless,
It was really hard to stay inside

And it was really hard to be quiet.
But we showed respect for Tsu Tsu
And for our people.

On the day that Tsu Tsu was laid to rest,
We stayed inside.
The sun was shining brightly and there
Was rain coming down from the clouds.

When Mama came home from the graveyard,
We cuddled and we were happy she was home.
We cried for Tsu Tsu because we missed her.
Mama said she will always be with us,
We just can 't see her anymore.

Mama said we can go outside now,
So we did and we were so happy to play out!
Mama said just for a little while,
We have to get ready for the last supper.

-

60

The Chi' yone women cooked for the Tsesk' iye people
To thank the Tsesk' iye for taking care ofTsu Tsu

The whole village gathered at the hall,
The Chi' yone invited the Tsesk' iye to eat first
And the Chi' yone served the Tsesk' iye.
Then the Chi' yone ate.

After everyone was fed, an Elder Tsesk' iye fed the fire,
She put all of the food that Tsu Tsu loved into the fire,
She spoke in Tahltan and prayed in Tahltan.
We said good bye to Tsu Tsu at her last supper,
But we knew that she would always be with us.

61

Story Five: Introduction to Attachment and First Nations People
Attachment and First Nations People is an educational piece written for parents and
young adults, with the purpose of informing parents about the theory of attachment, the
history of and effects of disrupted attachment in the lives of Indigenous people and to offer
support and encouragement as to how to strengthen existing attachments with children.
Attachment and First Nations People describes how attachment was traditionally, how
attachment became disrupted, how attachments were maintained and are resurging and how
we can continue strengthening attachments to break cycles.
Attachment and First Nations People was originally written in the form of a power
point presentation. It is a combination of story and information and is intended to provide
important information in a storytelling way. Attachment and First Nations People is an
effective resource to use in parenting groups.
Upon sharing this story with Indigenous parents, the therapist may choose to have a
traditional talking/healing circle to process the content of the story. In a traditional
talking/healing circle, a feather is passed from one participant to the next in the same
direction that a clock turns. The only speaker is the person who holds the feather and all
other participants listen in support. A talking circle allows each participant an opportunity to
speak about the impact that the story has had on them or anything that has come up for them
as a result of hearing the story.
Another activity that can be implemented with parents is to create a collage for their
child(ren) using pictures from magazines and/or personal photographs, quotes and/or
personal messages and affirmations. This activity is especially effective for parents and
child(ren) who are enduring the adversity of disrupted attachment. Often parents who have

62

child(ren) that are not in their care experience deep sadness and pain and long to connect
with their children in some way. I have found scrapbooking and letter writing to be preferred
and effective methods of maintaining communication for parents and children who are
separated. Often there is joy and relief on behalf of the parents who may be seeking a way to
show their children love from a distance. This is also healing for the children who yearn for
connection to their parents and long for confirmation that they are loved, treasured and
missed.
Video therapy may be a great follow up activity for parents after reading the story of
Attachment and First Nations People. Several great Indigenous movies exist that depict the
issue of disrupted attachment effectively. Smoke Signals (1999) is a movie about disrupted
and severed attachment. Some of the key themes in the movie are death, divorce, alcoholism,
friendship, forgiveness and single parenting. This movie has the potential to invoke an
emotional response in viewers. Therapists may choose to process the movie as a group after
viewing. Rabbit Proof Fence (2002) is a powerful movie about the residential school
experience in Australia. Although the experience is from a different country, it is much like
the experience of many Indigenous children who attended residential schools in Canada.
Rabbit Proof Fence is a movie about two young girls who are forcibly removed from their
mother and grandmother and who are taken away to a school for half castes (half Caucasian
and half Aborigine). They endure hardships at the school and run away several times. The
movie depicts resilience, independence, survival and the emotional pain of forced disrupted
attachment for the children, their mother and their grandmother. I believe that it is important
to be aware of people who share similar struggles, there is strength in numbers and a shared
energy between survivors, somehow shared struggles can evoke empathy and bring comfort

63

in knowing that others have endured similar hardships and others have survived as well. We
Were Children (2012) is a documentary film about the experience of children in a Canadian
residential school. The film goes back and forth between the children's experiences and the
commentary of actual survivors speaking about their past experiences and the effect that
these experiences have had on their lives. We Were Children is a gripping movie that has the
potential to take survivors and their descendants through the many emotional stages of grief.
It is an infuriating, heart breaking, honest and informative account of the helplessness felt by

the children and parents of the children who attended residential school. Following the
video, the therapist may choose to engage the participants in a processing circle. Debriefmg
the many emotions that may arise as a result of the stories being told in the documentary may
be wise. All of the suggested videos are powerful and have the potential to invoke deep
feelings for viewers, especially those who are closely connected to the content. I suggest
these movies because I believe we need to know what has happened to our people in order to
heal from what has happened. The purpose of knowing the truth is so that we can create a
new truth and ultimately re-write our stories for the present and the future generations of
Indigenous people.

64

65

Story Five
Attachment and First Nations People
Attachment begins in the womb.

Attachment is the deep connection established between a child and caregiver that profoundly
affects the child's development and ability to express emotions and develop relationships.

Traditionally, First Nations people held strong, healthy attachments with our children.
Children were the center of the communities and it was the responsibility of everyone to
ensure their safety and survival.

Children were attached to their extended families on a daily basis. Grandparents played a
very important role in the rearing of children.

The whole community was involved in raising children.

Children were attached to their mothers through love, safety, security and predictability.
Colonization changed the First Nations families through the removal of the children and the
dehumanization of the people. Suddenly the children and their caregivers were detached and
life became insecure.

66

Life as our people knew it became very different. Suddenly there were issues that
overwhelmed our nations: Poverty, alcoholism, suicide, reservations, drugs, abuse, and
ractsm.

Life became a struggle unlike any other struggle.

A way of life nearly ceased to exist.

Until our people decided to stand up for what is right and make positive changes.

And the strength of our people emerged once again.

Caregivers and children began to renew their attachments.

And the old way of life emerged.

We still have a lot of work to do to break unhealthy cycles in our communities.

Attachment becomes disrupted when:
Children do not have their needs met
•

Only get attention by displaying extreme behaviors

•

Are mistreated or abused

•

Never know what to expect

67

•

Are moved from caregiver to caregiver

•

Have an emotionally unavailable parent

Some common signs and symptoms of an attachment disorder are:
•

An aversion to touch and physical affection

•

Control issues

•

Anger problems

•

Difficulty showing genuine care and affection

•

An underdeveloped conscience

•

Withdrawn, resistant to comforting, lack of reaction and response, ignoring others or

reacting aggressively when others try to get close
•

Seeks comfort and attention from anyone, doesn't prefer parents over others,

dependent, appears younger than actual age, can appear chronically anxious

What we can do as parents:
•

Have realistic expectations
Have patience

•

Foster a sense ofhumor and joy

•

Take care of yourself and manage stress
Find support and ask for help

•

Stay positive and hopeful

To help build your child ' s sense of security you can:

68

•

Set limits and boundaries

•

Take charge, yet remain calm when your child is upset or misbehaving

•

Be immediately available to reconnect following a conflict

•

Own up to your mistakes and initiate repair

•

Try to maintain predictable routines and schedules

To help your child feel loved you can:
•

Find things that feel good to your child (hugging, cuddling)

•

Respond to your child's emotional age

•

Help your child identify emotions and express his or her needs

•

Listen, talk, and play with your child

To support your child ' s health you can:
•

Ensure that your child is eating healthy foods

•

Ensure that your child is getting adequate sleep and is on a schedule

•

Ensure that your child is getting exercise; physical activity is an antidote to stress

Seek support from family and friends who you trust. Create your own family of healthy
support people.

Our cultures have never died.

Our attachments were disrupted temporarily, we are getting them back.

69

We are strong and we are resilient.

We are kind and we are loving.

We are blessed with the traditions of our ancestors.

We can work together and make a better life for our children.

70

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