10 features September 7, ZOl11 > Over the Edge WEBSITES TO WASTE AWAY YOUR TIME There is Nothing Like The Start of School fo Reawaken Your Inner Procrasfinator SHELBY PETERSEN EDITOR IN CHIEF Now that you are back to school and have all your syllabi outlining just how much work you have to get done in the span of three months, it’s time to get down to business. And by “get down to business” we mean it is time to start complain- ing about how little time you have all the while spending that time doing things other than course work. Yes, my friends, it’s time to start procrasti- nating. Thought Catalog “Thought Catalog is a place for relevant and relatable non-fiction and thought,” according to their website. What Thought Catalog really is, is a bunch of 20-somethings who somehow man- aged to land one of the coolest jobs right out of university and now reside in the dream world of New York City. They spend their days writ- ing musings about pop culture and infiltrating us with snippets of their own adolescence proving that no matter who you or what your social in- come, teenagers are all weird and we’re basically all the same. This website is so great because you get a myriad of essays written on a constant basis which span the likes and interests of most young people. Notable stories include, but are not lim- ited to: Some Pick-up Lines that Have Been Used on Me and their Effectiveness on a Scale of One to Love, 20 Sartorial Choices that Immediately Render You Non-Threatening, and To My Neigh- bour on the Stairwell Who Just Won’t STFU at 3AM on a Weeknight. feministing.com Feministing I gather that from the title of this website many of you will not visit this website. At most, you’ ll finish reading this paragraph. But, you should really visit this website because it is not only a smart website with well written pieces containing several different perspectives, it can also be quite funny. This website links you to articles from other websites and blogs and provides the reader with a great commentary on the popular com- mercials, songs, and politics. After visiting this website you will immediately be a smarter person because of all of the new things you have learned. And, if you are going to procrastinate you might as well broaden yourself as a person as well. Tumblr If you haven’t heard about Tumblr yet, you live under a rock. It is right up there with Facebook and Twitter and is possibly the best platform for wasting your time. For those of you who don’t know, Tumblr is like a blog that allows you to post whatever you want in the easiest way pos- sible. From there, if you post cool things you can gain followers and follow other people. Basical- ly, everyone just posts pictures of things that they find amusing or cute. Taken at face value tumblr sounds pretty lame — but tell me just how lame it is when it’s 4am and you have been mindlessly scrolling through pages and pages of pictures for seven hours. Tumblr is the opiate of the mass- es...or at least the under 30 crowd. Some Tum- blr blogs worth checking out: Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling, 1001 Rules for My Unborn Son, STFU Parents, and Stuff Hipsters Hate. Reddit Reddit is a source for what is new and popular online. Basically, Reddit is just a large forum for people to post and repost things that they have found on other websites. Reddit is the place where all the people who really love the inter- net go. And by really, I mean that they are the people who practically create what is popular and determine the next meme. You know that funny cat video that the friendly people on the news showed a few broadcasts ago at the end of the night to show some perspective in light of all the bad things that goes on in the world? Well, those Reddit people knew about that video 6 months ago...when it was still cool. IF ONLY WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SLEEP Imagine a World Where We Didnt Have to Sleep...The Things We Could Accomplish! DEVON FLYNN CONTRIBUTOR Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back into the swing of things. School is back in session and summer is on its way out. Depending on if you were in Prince George for that time, summer never really made an appearance to be- gin with, so you didn’t miss much. Regardless of whether your summer was lack luster or a block- buster, I think most of us could agree there just wasn’t enough time to finish everything we set out to do. Maybe you didn’t climb that mountain you wanted to; perhaps you should have stuck around that epic Canada Day party a little longer; or maybe it would have been nice to have danced one more dance with that special someone at your sister’s wedding. Whatever the case, there was an endless list of things you hoped to have accomplished. If only you didn’t have to sleep, you could have easily did it all. It is a common thought that practically everyone has pondered at one point or another. You’re going through that huge to-do list when you think, “You know, I bet I could get everything done if I didn’t need to sleep!” Students are a prime example of this. You need to catch up on homework, wash the dish- es, call your parents, finish that student loan application, kick your buddy’s ass at Smash Bros. and your friends want you to come out to the bar. But damn’t all, you have to get that doctor recom- mended 7-8 hours, don’t you? But what if we didn’t need sleep? Imagine a world where sleep was not required in a day. (And for the sake of the hypothetical, let’s imagine we didn’t biologically need sleep to survive). Day still turns to night, but you maintain a relatively steady level of energy 24 hours a day. What would the life of a student be like then? Well, to start off, there would be a lot fewer students nodding off in class. For that matter, accidentally sleeping in would no longer be accept- ed as a legitimate excuse for tardiness. A lack of sleep wouldn’t even cut it for failure to study or do homework. With that in mind, professors would likely assign more homework, knowing that you have more than enough time to get it done. Maybe you can take that night class to catch up. Classes would be all day, so why not? If extra schoolwork isn’t how you imagine spending those pre- cious AM hours, maybe you could take on that part time job you were looking into to pay for the classes you already have. Hell, it could turn into a full time job! Without the need for sleep, worldwide productivity would in- crease. Stores would never close, factories would never stop, and every restaurant would be open 24 hours - Denny’s would surely feel the hit. Now that you think about it, you would probably have to eat a lot more meals. I mean, you’re not resting, so that en- ergy has to come from somewhere, right? Better tell those farmers to get back to work, students worldwide are hungry for a late night snack! For every other place of work, nighttime would simply be an- other shift, or allow for the extension of existing shifts. You thought 8 hour shifts were brutal? Try a 14 or 15-hour shift! I’m no economics expert, but I expect this influx of work opportuni- ties would somehow screw up the cost of living. Maybe work isn’t your style though. Maybe you would rather use this free time to expand your horizons and finally indulge in your hobbies? The artistic world would see a huge output. Musicians could play non-stop, theatres would never close, and authors could finally finish writ- ing their books. I don’t think poems would cut it though; nothing would ever quite match the unfinished work of Coleridge’s Kubla Khan (look it up). Painters could do their craft any time of the day, although I expect that “Crows at Night” painting wouldn’t sell very well. This is all good and well, but there’s no denying that not everyone would use his or her newfound time for beneficial productivity. Videogame and movie marathons would last until your first morning class. At least you wouldn’t have that annoying room- mate bitching that he has to get up early. Nighttime shenanigans would increase dramatically as well. Just because people are no longer sleeping doesn’t mean that night- time isn’t the most ideal opportunity to get into trouble, right? Policing could likely increase to counter this, although Tim Horton’s parking lots might be a bit emptier. Donuts might remain as delicious as ever, but I’m sure coffee sales...GASP! THE COF- FEE!!! My God! Coffee sales would plummet faster than my bank account funds after paying my student fees (which, in my opinion, heavily sup- ports the caffeine industry). Given the choice, I’d much rather spend my student loan on coffee then expensive textbooks anyway! Degrees Coffee would no doubt go out of business. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the opin- ion cups and the friendly barista ban- ter, but I come for the java damn’t! It wouldn’t even stop at coffee. Energy drinks would become expensive versions of pop, no longer serving as the popular alcohol chasers at parties. Nighttime events would lose their edge now that they can happen every night. There would be no rag- ing parties to pick up the opposite sex from with the allure of a comfy bed. In fact, the bedroom dy- namic would totally shift. No longer would the bedroom be a sacred ground for Zen, rest, or even sex! Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with some daytime nookie, but who doesn’t enjoy that big climatic sigh and falling asleep in each other’s arms? The term “slept together” would become mean- ingless. And, covering all bases here, how else are you supposed to make your getaway from last night’s mistake if they’re wide awake and staring right at you? Hope you have a good excuse, because you can’t walk-of-shame your way out of this one. Even if you did, people would see your half-naked butt com- ing a mile away. Streets and parks would be lit 24 hours a day. Vehicles would run all the time. You thought traffic jams sucked? Try a night traffic jam. But hey, a consolation in all this is that they'll have finally expanded public transit hours. About damn time, right? However, this has worldwide implications. The huge energy demand from electrical appliances and vehicles being run every hour of the day and the increased demand for food would ruin economical systems around the world and put climate change on fast forward. Resources run dry, world in- frastructures collapse and eventually, we all die. All because you wouldn’t go to bed early! So there you have it — if sleep was no longer biologically required, society’s expectations of its members, particularly students, would change dramatically. What we thought were already high expectations of our work load and youthful productivity would become even more stressed. Just imag- ine your parents chastising you for not spending your summer vacation doing something worthwhile. Now imagine society saying that...every day! Our newfound time in the early AM would be expected to be uti- lized for studious and industrious be- haviour, and not shenanigans nor sex (or sexy shenanigans?).