ver P.

Give me a Trudeau Please

S. Marinus Langeler,

It was something out of the
school of the ludicrous, that
compelled Jean Chretien to
unilaterally re-christen Mt.
Logan (the only mountain in
the country that everyone has
heard of, arguably) Mt.
Trudeau. It was considered
only typical, by many, that this
western mountain should be
treated so callously by a cen-
trist party-driven government.
To me, the decision was so
surreal that ii was merely
humourous. Action that is jus-
tified, “Just Because,” is less
offensive than insane.
Anyway, it didn’t go through.
The idolitors tried again.
There were inquiries to the
Trans-Canada-Trail people,
“how about the ‘Trudeau
Trail?”

“No way.” They said.

Very well then, but we must
do something. If Pierre Eliot
Trudeau was not a great man,
as many will attest, he was
nevertheless a Canadian of
magnitude. As a young man
of ten years, | knew him as
the man who put French
class into my school. Sure, he
played monkey with the con-
stitution, and | must admit,
giving the west “the finger”
won no friends in Alberta. But
when post-Olympics TV
addiction turned to the
Trudeau deathwatch/funer-
al/eulogy marathon for anoth-
er fix, we saw just how many
lives were touched by
Canada’s sweet-heart, that
magnificent bastard that was

students at UNBC.

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Trudeau. With every prayer,
pirouette, and upraised cen-
trist finger, mourners showed
their respect.

| have done something.
While soon to be erected
Trudeau street signs are
being stolen and vandalized,
| will be drinking my morning
coffee at the nearest Tim
Hortons. | will be drinking a
Trudeau. Part English Toffee,
part French Vanilla, and avail-
able at the Bear CafE, this
unofficial toast to P-E.T. as a
Canadian character is a great
kick in the behind for any
sandy-eyed morning. If it’s a
tad sweet for you, ask for a
splash of cup-o-the-day to
sharpen the kick. A large
Trudeau is my standard, only
$1.60 including the tax. Will
this elixir transform you into a

Liberal? No. In fact, alienated.

westerners may take heart in
the symbolism of the ancient
tradition of drinking the blood
of your enemies. Coffee can
be bitter, albeit only as bitter
as you order it.

So, | offer you the Trudeau.
The ladies at the Bear CafE
know it well. Three of us
already order it regularly.
English Toffee mixed with
French Vanilla and maybe a
splash of black coffee never
had any other name that |
ever heard of. In these days
of politics and government
that alternate between
malaise and madness, | say
we need something like a
Trudeau to get us up just a lit-
tle earlier.

News

Fi

U.S. College Student
seek Corporate Sponsors

By Alex Halperin, The McGill
Daily

HADDONFIELD, N.J. (CUP)
- Canadian students may
debate the merits of campus
advertising, but two American
university hopefuls are per-
suading corporations to turn
them into walking billboards.
Chris Barrett and Luke
McCabe are high school
seniors in Haddonfield, New
Jersey, trying to convince cor-
porations to finance their uni-
versity education.

“Chris and Luke are the
N’Sync of the business
world,” gushes publicist Karen
Ammond. Thanks to
Ammond, Barrett and
McCabe can count them-
selves among a new class of
celebrities, lacking traditional
celebrity talents, but willing to
take corporate money to put
their lives on display. The two
have agreed to be walking,
talking billboards for just
about any corporation willing
to fund their way through col-
lege.

The pair launched
www.chrisandluke.com last
summer, promising on the
site to “eat your pizza and
wear your clothes” and “eat
your cereal, even if weire not
hungry,” all in exchange for
tuition at “extremely expen-
sive Universities.” When cor-
porations began to take inter-
est, Barrett and McCabe shot
into the public eye. Now they
think that on-campus spon-
sorships of people will likely
grow. “Pepsi could have
spokesguys on 50 or 75 cam-
puses,” Barrett told Canadian
University Press. “We hope
people are going to follow us.”
Today, the pair want to study
at either the University of
Southern California or New
York University, where they
both hope to take entertain-
ment media and marketing. If
they donit get admission to
the same university, they will
attend schools that are near

one another.

The two say they recently
landed a_ contract with
Hotjobs.com, a_ recruiting
company. Ammond says they
are in negotiation with several
other companies as well.
Although a Hotjobs represen-
tative denied that they have
hired Barrett and McCabe,
the company is considering
hiring the pair as part of a
push for college-aged clien-
tele.

Barrett says he and McCabe
hope to be made “corporate
spokesguys” for Hotjobs.com
and other corporations. They
anticipate the job will include
traveling around the U.S giv-
ing presentations to students,
and starting what they call a
“grassroots marketing cam-
paign” on their own universi-
tyis campus.

And while they wonit dis-
close the financial details of
their negotiations, they
recently told BrandEra.com
that their minimum fee is US
$15,000. Barrett, whose
favorite brands include Pepsi,
The Gap, and AT&T, is also
excited about potential perks.
ilf a corporation sends us to
the Super Bowl, they/ll have
to pay for our flights and our
tickets.

Barrett and McCabe have
said that they will be at least a
little discriminating when it
comes to deciding for whom
they will advertise. They will
not sponsor tobacco, alcohol,
or sex-related products.
Barrett also expects that all of
their contracts will include a
morality clause that will jeop-
ardize their jobs if they are
caught in any incidents
deemed unfavorable to a cor-
porate image. He doesnit
anticipate abstaining from
sex, however. ilt is college,i
laughs Barrett. Still, he does
acknowledge that corporate
obligations will make his life
slightly more constrictive.
iThe corporation will be like

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our parents.i And because
these parents also have an
image to protect, Barrett
explains, he and McCabe
should steer clear of campus
politics that might offend one
of their sponsors.

But Barrett says he doesnit
really mind that his sponsors
will be watching his every
move and listening to his
every word. ilill be getting a
head start on my career, so
lim not really worried,i he
says.

Barrett and McCabe's idea is
not one born of dire financial
necessity. They both enjoy
comfortable lives in an afflu-
ent New Jersey suburb. The
plan is to get involved in a
well-paying, extracurricular
activity that will help defray
the cost of college which,
according to Barrett, iis tough
for everyone.

Publicist Ammond, who is
helping the pair for free, is
also volunteering for New
Jersey college freshman Brett
Banfe, 19, who is on a corpo-
rate-sponsored quest to not
speak for one year. Banfe
spent the month before he
kicked-off his vow of silence
doing radio and television
spots. Since then, he has
made several __ television .
appearances.

Motorola gave Banfe several
pagers so he could communi-
cate with his closest friends
and family. The Web site
Darefordollars.com is giving
Banfe $20 for each day he
goes without speaking, plus a
$5,000 bonus if he completes
the year. Banfe pledges he
will donate the sum to charity.
Despite her clientsi success,
Ammond is skeptical as to the
future of corporate-sponsored
college students iln Chris and
Lukeis case, they came up
with this concept. They were
the first, which is why there is
media attention,i she says.

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