14 Arts and Culture Tim Hortons: An Invasion of Epidemic Proportions SARA TimiBERLAKE CONTRIBUTOR “Good morning, is this to stay or to go?” “To go and I’m in a hurry. Id like four soup and sand- wich deals, all ham and swiss on white bread, hold the mayo and tomato with chicken noodle soup. I also want a ten pack of timbits, assorted kinds. Ooh can I get four sausage breakfast sandwiches with no eggs. Oh I also want an extra large double double, an extra large triple triple, a chai tea latte, and a large half hot chocolate, half de- caf coffee please. Can they all be double cupped with a sleeve? And I’m really in a hurry so can these please be made in the next two minutes?” “Coming right up!” I don’t know if you have realized it, but our country, province, and even city is under a new threat. This threat has spread like wild fire through our offices, police stations, and high schools alike. There isn’t a corner of our fair city where you cannot find it. There is no escape. The threat I am refer- ring to, Ladies and Gentle- men, is the invasion of the Tim Hortons, fast food restaurant chain. Now I know what you are think- ing. What can be so awful about a store that sells yummy donuts and addict- ing coffee? Well, believe me, there is plenty to worry about. And I will give you a few tools to help you combat this invasion, like a little back ground informa- tion on Tim Hortons, Tim Hortons addictions, the odd combinations of food people order, and the “in- teresting” individuals who walk through the door. The first Tim Hortons store ever opened was in 1964 in Hamilton, Ontario. The business was founded by Tim Horton who played in the NHL from 1949 until his death in a car accident in 1974. Soon after the store opened, Horton met Ron Joyce, a former Ham- ilton police constable. By 1967, after he had opened up two more stores, he and Tim Horton became full partners in the business. Thus was born that strange attraction of police officers to Tim Hortons coffee and donuts. Upon Horton’s death, Joyce bought out the Horton family and took over as sole owner of the existing chain of forty stores. Joyce expanded the chain quickly and aggres- sively in geography and in product selection, opening the 500th store in Aylmer, Quebec, in 1991, Consequently, many Tim Hortons addictions have developed over time. I don’t think Horton or Joyce could have fore- seen the impact their fast food chain would have on the Canadian public. The scariest place on the planet is at a Tim Hortons restau- rant on Saturday at 6:00 in the morning. Custom- ers come from all over the community and line up at the counters, forty people deep, just to get a whiff of the aroma of a Tim Hor- tons coffee. Personally, I wouldn’t want to put my- self through that kind of agony just to get my next caffeine fix. Also, it’s not just the coffee the public are addicted to. Children, teens, and adults are all ad- dicted to the sugary sweet delight, called donuts. It’s a good thing Canada has public health and dental care. With all the cavities going around, we are going to need it. Furthermore, the Can- adian public’s fixation on Tim Hortons and its prod- ucts have spread across the nation like a cult. Instead of ordering the standard meals, customers have created their own varia- tions which are as unique as thumb prints. When a customer orders their cof- fee, for example, it has to be exactly to their specifi- cations. They seem to have a sixth sense about whether or not you put a little too much cream or sugar in their coffee. Customers come up with some odd combinations for their hot beverages. For example, one customer will like a standard extra large double double and the next will ask for a one-fourth decaf, one- fourth regular coffee, quar- ter hot chocolate, and quar- ter english toffee topped off with whipped cream. And there is something else I simply cannot believe, it’s minus forty below outside and people are still drink- ing Iced Capps. What is this world coming to? If you have ever been a people watcher, then Tim Hortons is the perfect place. At any time during the day, there is a cross section of society, elbow to elbow and hip to hip. In the corner by the window sits Jimmy, who combs the side walks for bottles and coins for his double double every- day. Mrs. Jones, who turns 91 next week, comes rain or shine and takes up two seats. So although her hus- band, Henry, has been dead for three years, she buys him a coffee and donut, and discusses the morning news with him. Constable Daines and Hansen arrive sharp at ten. And the mayor swings by a couple of times of day, to shake hands with the lo- cals. Sister Marie Clarice enjoys steeped tea and picks up a single double for Father Murphy on her way out. Pre-school gets out at 11:30 and suddenly there are up to twenty chil- dren and mothers and there is not a safe spot to park yourself that doesn’t have sticky goop from donuts and spilled milk. It takes - double the staff to clean the tables before the onslaught, of lunch goers all of whom have only fifteen minutes to get back to work. So there you have it, Tim Hortons has spread over the Canadian landscape, and there are now over 2600 stores. This Canad- ian phenomenon is slowly creeping, like the pine beetle infestation into the United States where there are currently 290 locations. It’s rumored that the addic- tion is spreading so quickly in the U.S., that the border guards have been placed on alert to intercept the illegal transport of coffee beans. Canadians have always been a little more conserv- ative in their food choice combinations than our American cousins. A year or two from now, as the progression increases, we can look forward to docu- mentaries and maybe even educational studies on the creativity of the American public. Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame has already expressed interest in the outcome. All over North America, people from all walks of life will be waking up, jumping in cars, or taking the subway to their nearest Tim Hor- tons, for that delightful caffeine fix. After all, it’s Always Fresh At Tim Hor- tons. OVER THE EDGE November 21-December 5, 2007 Defining Autism: Defying Rainman TABATHA LUNDHOLM Arts Epitor anp Aps MANAGER Let me preface this arti- cle by saying that I’m not writing this to make fun of people suffering from aut- ism, or to mock the families who are affected by autism. This article is to better in- form people about the caus- es and symptoms of autism, and how people can learn to live with this disorder. This column that I have started is going to go through com- mon diseases and disorders that people are confused about, unaware of, or oblivi- ous to. Last week I wrote about schizophrenia and my concerns about myself be- ing diagnosed with it. This week I am going to tell you about autism and the com- mon misconceptions that surround the disorder. All subjects that I discuss with you I have a very intimate relationship with, whether the topic has affected me physically or has somehow affected my life. Everything I write I feel is necessary in- formation about each disor- der, and I hope to shed some light on common confusion over specific problems. I am not trying to provide any medical information about neurology or biological rea- sons that anyone is affected by these issues, but more or less just give information about the causes, symptoms, and possible solutions to each specific disorder, Aut- ism is a growing danger in the world, and the better people are informed, the more prepared the commun- ity is to understand and help individuals. Autism is a development disorder that occurs in the brains of children from new- borns to three year-olds. It can hinder social relations and impair communication, as well as prevent children from learning key develop- ment behaviors. All signs of autism appear before the child has reached his or her third birthday, but be- ing aware of these warn- ings can better equip you to noticing these trademark actions. My brother Jason is autistic. I remember when he was a newborn baby (I was fifteen going on sixteen at the time), we were all so excited and happy, he was a miracle baby. It wasn’t until Jason was three and a half that my parents had their fears confirmed, their baby boy was autistic. Some com- mon symptoms that Jason exhibited were: the inability to look someone in the eye, toe-walking (walking on the tips of his toes), a limited vo- cabulary, and an unusually picky diet. But what he could do rivaled the memories of many people much older. Jason could watch a movie once and have it memorized. He could act out every scene and, when he was older, re- cite every line. But he still couldn’t hold a conversa- tion with someone, or tell our mom what he wanted for dinner. These are only a few symptoms of autism, but these are the ones that I have been most amazed by. Jason is now five and a half, and is in kindergarten. He goes to birthday parties, loves steak, and talks to me on the phone every now and then. There are many different types of autism, and many subsections of autism. There are things like Asperger’s, which is like autism, but has no real speech delay. Autism has no cure, and being autis- tic doesn’t mean that you can tell how many toothpicks are left in a box and how many have fallen to the floor. But a heightened memory and cer- tain mathematical skills are somewhat common high- lights to autism. One thing to remember is that autism isn’t a violent disability. There is never a reason to think less of a person who suffers from a mental disorder, although some precautions need to be taken. Autistic children may play alone quite often and have a harder time being able to interact with people, but they don’t actually enjoy being alone, they’re mostly just misunderstood and frus- trated by their own inability to express themselves. Autis- tic children need to be treat- ed differently, yes, but not looked at differently. There is no need to fear someone with autism, and being more informed can ease this social stigma. “If we become increasing- ly humble about how little we know, we may be more eager to search,” - John Templeton. Another sign of autism would be lining up toys in a row consistently, or lying on the floor pushing a car back and forth watching the wheels rotate (both my brothers love wheels and the cars they’re attached to). Rituals are another sign of autism; doing the same thing every day, eating the same meals at the same time every day, or wearing the same clothes day in and day out. More sleep problems than a typical child (note: not “normal”), which include waking up in the middle of the night on a regular basis, as well as having troubles falling asleep, or waking up early are also some common signs of autism. The causes of autism are wide-ranged, coming from a genetic or hereditary source, to being a random occurrence in a child. Many people believe that there is a vaccine out there that is helping cause autism in in- fants. There is no concrete scientific proof of this, but many theorists have such sound theories that it’s hard to argue. But autism is a be- havior disorder, not neces- sarily one that you can take a very young child to a doctor and the doctor can do blood tests and give you an answer. It’s more up to the people who are close to the child to watch him or her and de- termine whether or not the child is showing from any of these signs. Treatments and special schools are incred- ibly beneficial to an autistic child, teaching them how to interact with their fellow students and how to learn effectively. My brother at- tended an autism-focused preschool and it helped him in ways that I could never have imagined. Hav- ing an autistic child is very hard - both emotionally and physically - on the parents. There are many things that one has to understand about basic human development, mainly that the child doesn’t have the same capacity for learning. Just because he hasn’t developed the verbal skills to call you “mama,” or “dada,” doesn’t mean that the child doesn’t love you and know who you are. My baby brother calls me Taba- fa, or Tabi, and I’d waited five years for that. Autism doesn’t change the person your child is, the child is autistic, and that’s nothing to be afraid of. If you think you, or someone you know is autistic, don’t be scared about it. Just go online or go to your local library and get some books out on the sub- ject. “Knowledge is the anti- dote to fear,” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.