14 Reviews

February 22, 2006 « Over the Edge

Movie

Hostel Disturbing

DIRECTOR Eli Roth
MOVIE Hostel
STUDIO Lion's Gate
YEAR 2005

TYLER CLARKE
SPORTS AND CLUBS EDITOR

The movie Hostel was an experi-
ence similar to watching a friend
vomit all over the floor, then pick it
up and rub it into the open wound of
another person, all the time scream-
ing bloody murder and choking a kit-
ten to death.

... And by all that, I mean it was
one hell of a disturbing movie, Mind
you, this was to be expected from a
movie primarily about torture.

The premise is this: four guys,
three of which are morally disrupt

and deserve some degree of torture,
are backpacking across Europe when
they are told about an amazing place
with many women, ready and will-
ing to have sex with them, Naturally,
these typical penis-brained individu-
als go there and are then killed one by
one by an elite group of people who
pay another group of people to kill/
torture/do whatever they want to the
subjects that they are able to come up
with.

Sex, torture, violence, disturbing
scenes, roll credits.

I strongly encourage taking a date
to this movie, as she'll be clinging to
you all night and hiding her eyes. Ei-
ther that, or blowing chunks all over
you and the people sitting in front of
her. That's the risk you have to take.

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Play

Invisibility is a Hit!

TABATHA LUNDHOLM
ARTS EDITOR

Have you ever felt like you're a hu-
man doormat? Like everyone uses you
and never really sees you? This is pre-
cisely what Eileen goes through in the
Theatre Northwest play “The Invisibil-
ity of Eileen.”

All her adult life, Eileen has been
pushed-over, pushed to do more, and
pushed to the edge of her sanity. All

_ things continue until one morning,

Eileen is off to work, and she spots a
body in her flowerbed. It turns out the
body: is one “Sprat,’ a transient follow-
ing the moon to whatever destination it

takes her. She has no family, no one to
call, and no place to call home. Eileen
immediately takes her in, and all of her
life is turned upside down.

After Sprat is discovered by Eileen’s
loving son who comes by with dirty
laundry, looking for a place to stay
with his new pregnant girlfriend, all
hell breaks loose. The son freaks out,
calls the ex husband, who shows up de-
manding an explanation for Eileen tak-
ing control over her own life. Quite the
satirical bit, but great nonetheless.

After about two months of living
with Sprat, whom she decided to keep

as company, and to nurse back to men-

tal health, Eileen discovers more to life
through a great epiphany of Sprat-
ism. She sells her house, and decides
to move out west with Sprat to start a
business. _
_ Eileen finally takes control of her life,
confessing to her son and ex-husband
all that she has missed, and why she
doesn't want to miss that any more.
The story explores the atypical over-
achieving, under-appreciated female,
and mother. It lets audiences every-
where understand how one could want
to break-free of routine, and discover a
whole new way to look at life.

Book

The Double Life of the

TITLE Shakespeare by Another Name: The
‘Life of Edward De Vere, Earl of Oxford, The
Man Who Was Shakespeare

AUTHOR Mark Anderson

PUBLISHER Gotham Book Mart

YEAR 2005

JAMES O’HEARN
EXCALIBUR
(YORK UNIVERSITY)

TORONTO (CUP) - Nobody
likes the man who kills Santa Claus or
sends the Easter Bunny off to the meat
packers. But if Anderson is right, and
Edward de Vere was Shakespeare, we
have far more to gain than lose by this
knowledge. :

Through the centuries since the Bard
passed away, it has been something of
a parlour game to guess who might
have been the real Shakepeare. Perhaps
Marlowe? Perhaps Bacon? The Shake-
speare the world has come to know and
love seems a bit off, not quite real, In
fact, as Mark Anderson tells us, if you
sit down and look at the facts logically,
it soon becomes apparent that Shake-
speare wasnt Shakespeare at all. He

was a man named Edward de Vere.

The rivalry between 16th century
author and courtier Sir Phillip Sidney
and De Vere is absolutely compelling,
and literally eye opening. Learning
about Shakespeare's relation to Georges
Gascoigne, the infamous gangster and
scion of French literature, is like learn-
ing that Mark Twain is actually related
to Al Capone. The Shakespeare of con-
temporary record was a man of whom
the only factual thing known is that
he left his wife his “second-best bed;” a
man whose penurious attitude resem-
bled Ebenezer Scrooge's far more than
that of the dashing playwright and ac-
tor who taught the English world what
it is to love. Anderson's Shakespeare is
a real human being—onie we can come
to know, hate, or love.

Anderson looks at all the evidence
about Shakespeare in a logical fashion,
cross-referencing it with everything
that is known about Edward De Vere.
The correlation is so absolute that ex-
plaining it away as coincidence is al-
most impossible.

In Shakespeare's time there was but

Bard

one copy of the Beowulf manuscript in
existence, a copy that was in the posses-
sion of the man who became De Vere's
tutor, The parallels between Hamlet
and Beowulf have long been docu-
mented, but it had previously been
assumed that it was mere coincidence,
for Beowulf would have been unknown
to Shakespeare. Or so it was thought.
The Geneva Bible that De Vere owned
had, within it, numerous passages that
were marked off, many of which can
be found within Shakespeare's extant
works. These are but two in a litany of
examples that, excuse che pun, literally
scream to be acknowledged. As Orson
Welles once said, “I think Oxford was
Shakespeare. If you dont, there are
some awful funny coincidences to ex-
plain away.’

Indeed, Anderson's presentation is so
convincing that even the most ortho-
dox of scholars will have to sit back and
think. If it’s all true, then the English
speaking world owes Anderson a big
thank you, because, for the first time,
we have the opportunity to say hello.

“Book”

Humanity in Review

TITLE Humanity
AUTHOR God
PUBLISHER God

YEAR God knows when

BOB WO0B
CONTRIBUTOR

Humanity is quite a loaded word,
which can mean one, or several, of
numerous things, and is different for
every single person on earth, and other

planets, such as Mars and Jupiter... As-~
suming there are people on these plan>-

ets. More likely aliens of some sort.
With funny looking large black eyes,
and spatulas. for hands. I hope they
dance... That would be fun, dancing
with an alien. Heh...

Anyway, for the purposes of this es-
say, I'm defining humanity in general
as people that I have met, or heard of,
throughout my life, including tele-
vision, and those presented to me in the
media in general.

Frankly, I think God fucked up.
I mean, we get diseases like cancer,
people murder each other in masses as
a result of religion and stupidity, people
are born with disabilities, people can

get disabilities, and people are complete
jerks to one another on a daily basis.

True, we have vastly superior brains
than most other species on earth (other
than dolphins and squirrels... Yes, squir-
rels. They're more intelligent than most
think), but most people don't use them.
Take UNBC students, for example.
They have free speech, and a newspaper
in which to express themselves, and yet
very few do so. I'm not calling myself
smart, of course. All the grammattical
errors (Heh, I spelt it wrong, Get it?
Jokes=funny) in this article would im-
mediately prove you otherwise. I’m re-
markably stupid. All I'm saying is, most
people *ARE* stupid, and the vast ma-
jority are dumber than myself.

Have you ever worked in the service
industry? Most teenagers/young adults
currently do, or at least have in some
capacity, at some point in their lives.
I think it’s a direct result of these jobs
that have resulted in me hating human-
ity. The stupid questions constantly
asked. The incessant bantering/com-
plaining. They just don't realize that the
vast majority of people working in the
setvice industry don't give a flying fuck

about their jobs, and would much rath-
er be plucking out their nose hairs with
rusty tweezers than dealing with them.
This isn’t a career choice; it's is a crappy
attempt of getting money so they can
AFFORD to further their education
so they can do something they actually
want to in the future. :

Another note: if someone working
in the service industry says something
along the lines of “it’s okay if you stay
a few minutes after we close, not big
deal,” they do NOT mean it. Theyre
simply’ saying this because it's what
their bosses expect them to say. They
just don't want to be fired.

This article is done. It’s pissing me off
far too much, I amost feel like butch-
ering the next person I see; violently
gashing open their neck with a fish-
hook and feasting on the sweets within.
I wont, of course. Merely because it
would result in jail time, where I would
get to spend time with a larger concen-
tration of morons than I currently do.

Seacrest out,