10. 6 Features

October 24 2012 - Over the Edge

HORNY HALLOWE'EN

A Q&A on how to get laid on University's sexiest holiday,with
your favourite advice columnist, Domino Kyle

Q: Dear Domino: My
boyfriend and I (a petite
female) are huge fans of
sex in public places, and
were looking forward to a
kinky tryst on the dance
floor. Only problem is, I'm
going as’ Marie Antoin-
ette, and my _ boyfriend
is dressing as one-third
of the Human Centipede
(the middle bit). What do
I do? Please help make my
coital dreams a reality!

Signed, Costumed and
Kinky

Dear Costumed _= and
Kinky:

Wow, sounds like you

have a_ problem. When
most college-age students
get dressed for Hallowe’en
dances, they conveniently
dress in such a way that
unearthing the append-
ages needed to perform
the sex act is very easy.
Generally the problem is
putting them back under
wraps! Your issue is
therefore something of a
new one this Hallowe’en.
You've mentioned that
you will be going as a
period fashionista whose
own bodily coverings
were big enough to war-
rant a parade on their
own. Solution? Work the
hoop skirt baby. Here's
the plan: when the lights
are off and the music is
thumping, have your man
and his two unfortunately
attached musketeers sidle
under your skirt (which,
let's be honest, will be
more of a tent) and go at
it. Sure, it will be awkward
for his buddies, but what's
Hallowe’en if people aren't
scared?

On the other hand, if you

don't feel like alienating
your boyfriend's two best
buddies, just whip off
your clothing during a
particularly beat-heavy
Pitbull song (everyone
knows’ that Pitbull is
the music of love) and
passionately put all of your
bits and pieces on display
as you dance to the beat
of your own humping. The
good thing is, what with
the nature of the season,
I think you'd actually be
LESS noticeable humping
and naked on the dance
floor than anytime else.
-Domino

Q: Dear Domino: Iama
single bisexual guy who is
looking to find a costume
to get the maximum
possible action on the
night of my _ Hallowe’en
shenanigans. What should
I wear?

Sincerely, Josh

Hey Josh,

Try the not-a-jerk
ensemble, that one _ is
popular. Seriously, don't
go into it hoping to get
laid, that always reeks of
douchery and desperation.
No one wants to tell their
friends the next morning
that they went home with
that clingy whiny guy from
the bar. Wear something
that accentuates your good
features, or something
funny. For example, you
could wear some _ furry
white short shorts, and
say you're an overweight
polar bear looking to
break the ice. Be confident
and kind, that generally
goes further than any
costume. Dress up _ in

green and red and make a
beeline to the guy in the
Batman costume. Wear a
Nightwing costume (have
you seen Nightwing's ass?
GLORIOUS) and go hit on
your sister. Just kidding.
Just wear something fun
that makes you happy,
have a good time, and BE
SAFE.

-Domino

Q: Dear Domino: My
girlfriend bought a sexy
police officer's costume
and has told me that she
wants to “arrest” me and
handcuff me and I'm not
sure if I am comfortable
with that. What do I do?
I'm not against it, I've just
never thought about it.

-Michael Bluth
Hey Michael...her?
It seems like you're

uncomfortable with this
arresting new development
in your relationship. When
introducing new elements
(like handcuffs) into a
relationship, the matter of
consent is always a very
crucial part of the dialogue.
Have you talked about it
before, or is it something
that she has just brought
up? I find that lots of men
in particular are interested
in making their girlfriends
the submissive ones, but
are uncomfortable with
anything that makes
them vulnerable. Kind of
a double standard, no? In
our culture, it is rare to
see portrayals of women
being dominant sexually,
and that tends to leave
a bit of an imprint on the
collective psyche. If the
only thing stopping you

and your lady from having
an_ illegally sexy romp
is your ideas about how
men and women should
behave, then release your
inhibitions and let her lock
you up! The sex police have
no place in the bedrooms
of the nation! In the end,
it comes down to trust.
Being put in a position
where either partner has
control over the other is a
situation that is inherently
vulnerable, no matter who
is doing what. It can often
lead to a greater intimacy
if both partners are willing
to explore. However, _ if
neither partner is one

yy Whi
V4 WC/

hundred percent okay
with it, the potential for
bad stuff is high. If it is
something that she would
really like to try and you're
open to doing, have at it!
If not, talk with your girl
about what is and is not
appropriate, and how to
introduce new elements
into. your sexy” time
without giving either of
you a heart attack. Happy
boning!

-Domino

Email your questions to:

dominokyle@hotmail.

co.uk for next issue.

BE HANDY WITH CANDY

GALA MUNOZ
FEATURES EDITOR

1. Make a quick and easy
mocha by adding mini choco-
lates to your coffee.

2. Pack mini chocolate bars
into your purse or bag for
a quick sugar fix wherever,
whenever.

3. Make homemade fla-
voured vodka. Drop your
candy or chocolate of choice
in a bottle of vodka and let it
soak.

4. Invite your friends over for
a “sophisticated” wine and

(mini) chocolate night. Check
StarChefs.com for sugges-
tions on tasty chocolate-wine
pairings.

5. Freeze it and throw it into
any ice cream, milkshake
recipes or plain cookie
dough. Fun-size candy bars
and candy-coated chocolates
make for easy and appetizing
additions to cakes, brownies,
cupcakes and icing.

6. Keep it for decorating
gingerbread houses in De-
cember.
7. For
inclined:

the
Determine

scientifically-
the

number of licks to get to the
centre of a Tootsie pop.

8. DIY trail mix: Make your
own trail mix with pretzels,
nuts, dried fruit and _ little
candies like M&Ms or Reese’s
Pieces.

9. Pawn it off on your cowork-
ers by putting it into a bowl
in the staff room.

10. Win the best friend award
and gift a birthday pifata
filled with your surplus of
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
and Glosettes to your un-
suspecting birthday pal.

11. Just eat it.