OVER THE EDGE Volume 11, Issue 10 Editor-in-Chief Carolynne Burkholder Managing Editor Stephanie Wilson News Editor Kathleen De Vere Arts Editor Maggie Gilbert Office Manager Travis Nielsen Photo Editor Travis Nielsen Production Coordinator Belinda Li Copy Editor Earson Gibson Ad Manager Russell VanderEnde Opinion Editor Jonas Gagnon Technical Advisor Eric Chlebek Staff-Writers Adam Hussein Sean Dobbyn Dana Schwehr Charles Thrift Tayna Alvarez Photographers Salar Motahari Production Assistants Tayna Alvarez Bryna Casey Contributors Dawn Dunstan Laurel McDonald Nicole Tomlinson Andi Bergen Lauryn Kronick Denise Brunsdon Cartoonists Cal Hilde Josh Hammersteadt Dock Currie Kathleen De Vere Over The Edge is the official publish- ing media of students at the University of Northern British Columbia. As such, it is our mandate to report on issues of interest to stu- dents in the Northern Region. We encourage all students, both on the main and regional campuses to sub- mit to Over The Edge. Over the Edge is part of the Canadian University Press network of papers, otherwise known as CUP. CUP is an organization that is entirely owned by member papers, and provides such services as a newswire and advertising to Over The Edge. Over THE EDGE 3333 University Way Prince George, BC V2N 4A6 PHONE 960-5633 FAX 960-5407 EMAIL OVER-THE-EDGE@UNBC.CA MH EARSON’S MELTING LENSE Long Live the Revolutions! Earson GIBson Corr EDITOR Revolution is an important nation-shaping event. As globally minded people, we should know the revolutionary histories of great coun- tries like Scotland, France, America and Canada. Scotland has a very colourful history of resist- ing foreign imperialism, going all the way back to Rome. Fun fact: after decades of marching, Roman cohorts finally made it to Scotland. Here they encountered a people called the Picks who greet- ed them by removing all of their clothing, paint- ing themselves blue, then dancing and shouting like wildmen. The Romans were so terrified by the apparent madness of these people that they built Hadrian’s wall to keep them out of the Roman empire. It would later be known that the Picks were not, in fact, crazy, but had pretended to be so in order to frighten the order-loving Romans away, or so they bragged. A millennia-and-a-half later William Wallace played the crazy card: again with the blue paint and kilt wearing, and it had a similar psychologi- cal effect on regimented English armies. Being the only guy around who could cut a horse in half with an eight foot sword also caused the English some psychological distress. Wallace repelled the English and won the war, even if it meant travel- ing to every corner of England in four different carriages. The French revolution has been attributed to many causes, but one class of people have the most blood on their hands: the bakers. The French revolted because they were starving to death, a situation exacerbated by the poor design of the baguette. Anyone who has tried eating a three day old baguette knows what I’m talking about. It goes stale, but not the kind of stale: where you can just throw it in the oven for a few minutes to soften it up, the kind of stale that shreds the roof of your mouth. Also the huge amount of stale baguettes served as deadly club weapons for the proletariat. It is possible that had the French adopted the round style loaf like everyone else, the French Revolution may have been postponed for years, or may never have happened. The United States is well known for its'revolu- tion, but some points are fiercely disputed by scholars and historians. When the dust settles, some indisputable facts remain. First, the American revolution was instigated, funded, and ultimately won by rich white men who didn’t want to pay their taxes. This tradition coritinues today, as the richest people in America regulary get tax cuts from the government whether Democratic or Republican. Second, the Founding Fathers who wrote about the fundamental rights to Life, Liberty and Happiness were slave owners, and Jefferson never freed any of his one hundred eighty seven slaves, even upon his death. Third, the Founding Fathers were, as a conser- vative estimate, totally trashed out of their minds about seventy percent of the time. Washington even smoked his own home-grown. Finally, we come to the most important revolu- tion of all time, the Great Canadian Revolution. When it happens I am sure there will be a lot to write about, but until that day I say adieu, and remember, those who do not know their history are doomed to something-something. HM THE BIG BITCH ON CAMPUS Long Live the Bland Revolution! Hail Beige! KATHLEEN DE VERE News EpiTor Canadian indie-rock favourites Stars like to say the world is being overtaken by the Soft Revolution - a revolution based not on violence, repression or war, but one of love, peace, and romanticism. It’s a wonderful notion, so it’s too bad it’s not even slightly correct. They did get one thing right though - the world is being taken over by a revo- lution - The Bland Revolution. I’m not sure when people decided having fun, having a sense of humour, or even taking a risk was a bad thing, but somewhere the idea stuck, and The Bland Revolution has been picking up speed for the better part of a year now. Not like a rolling stone though, rather like a large, somewhat sticky blob -of beige paint, rolling slowly over a wonderfully colourful land- scape - moving along and changing everything in its path to a safe, unobtrusive smear. . There is no room for anything that may offend in the new “improved” bland world. Is theré a dirty sense of humour? Stamp it out! Is there a reference to sex, human anatomy or anything vaguely moist? Get rid of it! This is the tenant of The Bland Revolution: thou shalt not speak out, try new things, or try any joke that is not approved by a council of eas- ily offended parents, who would rather remove anything offensive from everywhere, rather than simply try and control what their children see. Perhaps it was nipplegate, the famous incident of Janet Jackson’s bared anatomy that really kicked off The Bland Revolution. Even if it was- n't, its effects were felt this year, with the delight- fully bland and critically yawned: Superbowl half- time show, featuring the decisively middle-of-the- road, and very un-sexy Paul McCartney. Even wonderfully offensive funnyman Chris Rock’s brand of humour has been painted over by The Bland Revolution. He was the famously dull Oscars’ last and best hope for, becoming a lit- tle more in touch with reality, but instead he was so censored and watered down, he was hardly amusing at all. Even when he was, the amazing- ly un-funny and bland Sean Penn derided him for his attempt at, gasp, humour! Even Robin Williams - hardly a paragon of - | edginess - was censored before taking the’stage. Add to that the seven second live delay they now enforce on all live telecasts, the $500,000 fines for bad language, and you have a revolution that is slowly sucking all the life, all the spontaneity, and all the wonderful prospect of excitement and sur- prise from the media. Even the student media is falling prey to the depressingly drab tide of beige homogeneity - Over the Edge, renowned for years for being “over the edge” is now happily chugging along with The Bland Revolution. The paper’s famously horrible contest, Roll Up The Rim Job To Win, a tradition of extreme bad taste and big prizes for the past four years has been unceremoniously dumped this year, because some people found it offensive Of course people found it offensive - with prizes like pornography, someone was bound to. I fear someone here missed the point, though. . The point wasn’t to offend on purpose, but to take the regular student newspaper contest and take it one step further - “over the edge” if you will, What can you say to this? Can you cry out and scream and beg for things to go back to the way they were, when life was dangerous, offensive, - and a lot funnier? You could, but what good would it do you? Bland has taken root in all corners, and turned even Over the Edge into Moderately Beside the Edge. Not too far though. Sorry, in case you’re offended.” Colour is dead. Humour is dead. Long live beige, Long Live The Bland Revolution. “how your : _ paper should | runnext year? Over the Edge Newspaper Society will be holding their Annual General Meeting on Wednesday, March 16 at 1:00 in the UNBC Wintergarden. “1 may not agree. wiih what you have to say, but 1 will defend to the fe ath your right to say ite” - Voltaire The opinions expressed in the editorials or letters to the editor that are submitted to Over the Edge are not the opinions of Over the Edge or UNBC. The views expressed in a letter are the views of the authors, and do not reflect the views of Over the Edge. Over the Edge welcomes your submis- sions to our opinions section. Due to the high volume of letters we receive, we would appreciate it if letters were kept to 500 words or less. To submit a letter to the editor, e-mail: ver-the-edge@ .ca