Over The Edge Page 6

April 1, 1999

Sex Shows in the Basement Go Horribly Wrong!

By Missy Fortunate

Almost everyone at
UNBC has heard, at
some point or another,
the rumor about the sex
shows in the basement
of the university. Most
people seem to think it
is just a joke, and don’t
take the tale seriously.
Well, we may have to
now.

RICHARD BREAKELL,

“Tt

wasn’t

a question of

On March 24, 1999, a
janitor found a grisly
scene in the basement
underneath the school
building. Approximately
twelve students, all from
different disciplines
were found dead in the
basement. One student
was found with his
clothing stapled to the

wall. “I’ve never seen
anything like it,’ the
shaken janitor said.

No names of victims
have been released
upon notification of next
of kin. It has, however,
been verified that the
group consisted of both
male and female stu-
dents. “Il don’t know

what those kids were
doing down there,” the
security staff later com-
mented, “but it was pret-
ty nasty.”

Cause of death is also
uncertain. One of the
first of the commission-
aires on the scene said,
“It was almost as if they
inhaled poisonous

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fumes or something.
There were no visible
wounds on any of the
bodies, and the RCMP
has called for autopsies
to be performed on the

bodies.
Possible theories
range from a leak in the
elevator fuel system to
mass food poisoning,
but no one wanted to
comment on the details
of these possibilities.
Spokespeople from the
UNBC damage control
centre said “We are not
even sure what those

students were doing
down there, but it was in
no way, shape or form
condoned by any mem-
ber of the staff or facuity
of UNBC””

There are no suspects
in this horrific crime,
and until the autopsies
are preformed deaths
will not be seen as acci-

dental. RCMP are ask-
ing anyone with infor-
mation to come forward.
Call 123-8899 if you
have any knowledge
which may be helpful.

CoS

Photo (Above): Little Sage shows
off his duds for the crowd at the
First Nations’ Fashion Show on
Friday March 26, 1999 in the

Call 1-800-565-1211 or (604) 732-1211 or visit: www.cga-bc.org Windergarden
Information sessions are held Extra information March 23 at BCIT March 30 at the _Dr :
every Tuesday 1:30 - 2:30 pm sessions: March 23 and Downtown Campus, Sheraton Guildford, Photo by Aaron
in the Association's office, 25 at the Association's 555 Seymour Sc., 15269 - 104th Ave., Mahoney
1555 West 8th Ave, Vancouver. office 7 - 8 pm; Vancouver 5:30 - 6:30 pm; Surrey 7:30 - 8:30 pm. :