20

SEPTEMBER 8, 2003

Going Under

I hope I have enough readers that someone (just one
person would make me happy) that there was no “going
under” Jast issue. I was crushed under a pile of school
work, and the deadline sort of crept up on me, and then
past me, and it was not until about a week later that I
realized I had missed it. So, I’m going to cover I’m to
start a serial; basically I’ll talk about different sexual acts
and the protection required, as well as the degrees of risk
associated with each act. I hope it will be effective; they
are inextricably related, and | had planned to do them
separately, but...

And before we really get started, | just have a little
clarification to do. What's really expected here is a little
contribution. I mean, this is, as it stands, a really one-
sided relationship. That's not really how I planned it. The
idea was really for you to write in, ask questions, I'd pub-
lish them and respond to them, in print. I have plenty of
sex-related chit chat left, if that’s what you all want, but
I encourage you to write to me (goingunder_unbeWhot-
mail.com) and let me help you with those tricky prob-
lems.

So, this issue’s topic is oral sex. It’s a really grey area
for lots of people, since the discussion usually involves
some reference to something that will make at least one
person in the conversation feel really uncomfortable.
Like, if your parents were the ones who gave you “the
sex talk”, it’s likely they didn’t cover the risks associated
with anal sex, or oral sex. If you’re parents are anything
like mine, that’s probably a relief, but the fact remains
that these are topics that need covering. So let’s jump into
the shallow end, with kissing.

There is not a lot of risk associated with kissing, on the
mouth, that is. Most of the time, the worst you can do is
a cold, or the flu. Occasionally, though, you can get stuck
with a cold sore. These really suck; they hurt your
mouth, they itch, and are pretty ugly to look at. Even
worse, they are easily transferable to the genitals. Now,
some of you out there are saying, whatever, the mouth
kind is herpes simplex A, and the genitals kind is herpes
simplex B. And you are absolutely correct. But infection-
spreading still happens. (Interesting side note: although
unusual, you can get a cold sore outbreak on just about
any part of your body. Gross, I know.) So, think how
uncomfortable it is on your face, and think about that

being between your legs. Not cool, eh? So, the best way
to protect yourself is to abstain when you or your partner
has an open cold sore. It’s just easiest. And the rest of the
time, use protection during oral-genital stimulation. It’s
pretty easy for oral sex on a guy; just use a condom,
Make sure you roll it all the way to the base of the penis

“So, this issue's topic is oral sex.
It’s a really grey area for lots of peo-
ple, since the discussion usually
involves some reference to some-
thing that will make at least one per-
son in the conversation feel really
uncomfortable.”

to ensure the least amount of skin is exposed, and then
do your thing (although, be careful not to use a petrole-
um or oil based lip product during). It’s usually a good
idea to change condoms between oral sex and any other
kind of sex, too.

That's simple enough, but you may be asking, what
about oral sex on a woman? This is where things get a lit-
tle MacGyver-ish. You basically have 3 options, each a lit-
tle more budget than the first. The most expensive and
the most protective method is a latex dental dam. They
are about 3 dollars each, can come in flavours and
colours, and basically just a big sheet of latex. The sheets
are big enough that some people cut them in half, but the
point of the super-size is to cover as much skin as possi-
ble, protecting both partners. It’s not just the, mucus
membranes of the vulva that can be host to Sexually
transmitted diseases. The perineum and the anus, the
outer lips, and the surrounding area (like the thigh) are
all areas that should be treated with caution and suspi-
cion when on the look out for STDs. Dental dams are
available at, mogt sex shops that have any standards at
all. ‘

Your next option is a little more fun to make. Take an
unlubricated condom and unroll it all the way. Carefully
take the ring off the opening (it may take teeth, so be as
careful as possible; you don’t want to tear out a huge
chunk). Then (again, this may require expert oral manip-
ulation), tear the condom down the side. It should make
a sheet of latex, not unlike the dental dams described
above, but cheaper, and the operation sort of gives you a
feeling of accomplishment. The only real catches are the
relative difficulty in finding unlubricated condoms, the
time it takes to make the dental dam, and the possibility
that it may take more than one try to get a workable dam
(sometimes it’s hard to rip the latex in any sort of straight
line). The other short-coming of this project is that the
surface area covered by this form of dam is less than a
commercial dental dam.

Your last option is plastic wrap (very budget). This is
relatively straightforward; you get plastic wrap, cut off a
portion around 7 inches (about 18 cm) by the width of
the wrap, and way you go. The only thing with this
method is you have to be VERY SURE that you get plas-
tic wrap and not a cellulose-based wrap. The cellulose-
based wrap will have tiny pores in it that can allow body
fluids to pass through, defeating the purpose of using a
dental dam in the first place. The other trick to it is to
make sure that everything is covered, as listed above. If
you're first piece is too small, try again. This seems too
good to be true, you may be telling yourself, incredu-
lously. And yes, this is where the downside is brought
up: the wrap is thicker than the latex, so you won't get
the same heat or sensation transfer that you would with
a condom or a dental dam. But it’s really up to you; you
can try it out, see if you like it, and if you don’t, you're
only out a few dollars for a whole roll you can use in the
kitchen.

Using these simple products, you dramatically reduce
your risk for transmission of an STD during oral sex. This
is not the highest risk activity, but there are risks associ-
ated with it. It’s very simple to protect yourself, though,
so | hope you will.

So, until next issue (hopefully I'll be flooded with let-
ters by then),

Tiffany xx