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3 Vi AR Tite L Top 10 Most
OVEMBER 27-DECEMBER 5 30 CurisTiNE FELLows NEVERTHELESS Six SHOOTER Anno yin g
2 12 Tokyo Potice Cup) = SmitH PaPER Bac
December 5-8 s
Canterbury Tales 10 Hey Everyone BRokEN Horse Meow H ol i day s on gs
Vanier Hall
Times Vary $5 for Matinee $10 -- TRANSMOGRIFIERS TRANSMOGRIFIERS INDEPENDENT 10. Please, Daddy,
or Evening shows 5 -- GHISLAIN POIRIER No Grounp UNDER Ninua Tune Don’t Get Drunk This
a <a 6 13° 9 Starvin Hunery Co_p Burns Sienep By Force Christmas- John Denver.
ecember
Over the Edge Presents! 7 14 + Potysics Potysics OR Die: Vista MySpace The title alone should
Artspace 8 -- We Are WoLves Tota Macique Dare To Care let you know there
ae vOpm 9 - THE Otp Sout Gop GRIFTER Music isn't going to be any
December 7-31 10 - BELLA No One Witt Know Mint — — Christmas cheer.
Debutante 2 7
Two Rivers Art Gallery 11 THE BARMITZVAH Ler’s Express Our Motives WEEWERK 9. 8 Crazy Nights (The
FREE 7:30pm BROTHERS Hanukkah Song)- Adam
a 12 9 JEREMY STEWART Jeremy STEWART INDEPENDENT Sandler. And you thought
Aeiaibesh Dine aad ee -- Kevin DREw Spirit Ir... Arts & CRAFTS “The Dradle song” was
14 == Various A Sounp EXPERIMENT: CJSW repetitive.
ee Live Sessions From CJSW 90.9 FM
$30 8. O Tannenbaum
15 - VonneGuT DoLLHoUSE ORNAMENTAL ETHERWORLD INDEPENDENT (South Park version)-
oe 13 16 29 ~=9StTaRs _ In Our BepRoom AFTER THE War Arts & CRAFTS Hitler singing any
arol Fes
Zod tations Church 17 16 THE Mary Onetres THe Mary ONETTES LABRADOR SWEDEN Christmas song is just
FREE 7:00pm 18 3 Buck 65 SITUATION STRANGE Famous wrong.
December 15-16 19 4 Sunset Ruspown — Ranpom Spirit Lover JAGJAGUWAR
The Mystery of Christmas 20 11. THe Evaporators Gassy JAcK AND OTHER TALES MINT i nas ag and
St. Michael’s oko Ono- Happy
$15 Saturday 8:00pm, Sunday 27 15 Hoty Fuck LP YounGc Turks Xmas (War is Over).
-00pm 22 -- THE Most SERENE POPULATION Arts & CRAFTS Ono and guilt. A deadly
REPUBLIC ‘all
ipa +3 combination.
Jeremy Stewart + the Rest 23 -- . SHOTGUN JIMMIE HE ONLYS DELOREAN
Artspace 24 - THe Sapvies New SEAsons OuTSIDE 6. Jackson 5- Little
<i pees 25 7 DD/MM/YYYY Are Tuey Masks? We Are Busysopies | Drummer Boy-
December 18-23 26 8 Capcun Coup Broucut To You By Nesraskaris TEAM Love Saatmiompaoette if
Celebration of Lights = ‘
Railway and Forestry Museum et Seu Be Heaney taem ; ~ your voice never drops?
28 -- VaRious I’m Not THERE _ _CoLumBia
December 20-22 29 -- Bonnie Prince Bitty Ask ForGivENEss Drac Ciry 5. any Jingle Bells

A Christmas Carol

PG Playhouse

$15 7:30pm + 2:00pm on. the
2nd

Wire Reap & Burn 03 Pink Fac parody- “Robin smells”-

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

4. 12 Days of
Christmas- Possibly the
worst singalong ever.

December 21-23
The Nutcracker

$2702.00 pm+800pm Jokes of the Issue |

a ied Ge Iwas walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering
CN Centre along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young
$34.50-$39.50 8:00pm hild. ‘Lady’, said the drunk, ‘that’s the ugliest kid I’ve ever seen
ae Damn, that is one ugly child!.” As the drunk wandered off, the lad
New Yours Eve Dinner and Dance (PUFSt into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. ‘What's
ith the Twisters he matter, madam?’ he asked. ‘I’ve just been horribly insulted

Kinsmen Hall she sobbed. ‘There there,” said the mailman, reaching into his

3. 8 Days of Christmas-
Destiny’s Child.-Who
says Christmas is all
about consumerism? Oh,
yeah- these guys.

2. Grandma Got Run
Over by A Reindeer- Dr.

sae : pocket. “Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here’s a banana fog —!mo. Yeah, nothing like

the chimp” mixing drive-bys and
mae 2 eggnog for the holida
Big & Rich and guests ; at g y
ones hile proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late ond

7:00pm

night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big
brass gong. ‘What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests
asked. ‘Why, that’s the talking clock” the man replied. ‘How does
it work?” ‘Watch’, the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound
ith a hammer. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wal
creamed, ‘For christ’s sake, you wanker, it’s 2am in the god dam
morning!!?

1. Wonderful Christmas
Time- Paul McCartney-
In which Sir Paul asks
himself “How can | best
destroy the holiday
season? Ah, yes!

The most annoying
synthesizer sound ever!”