BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM:
A GROUP CURRICICULUM FOR FEMALE ADOELSCENT OFFENDERS

by
Dayna Rae Long
B.A., University ofNorthem British Columbia, 1996

PROJECT SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF
THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF
MASTER OF EDUCATION
m

COUNSELLING

© Dayna Long, 2002
THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA

April2002
All rights reserved. This work may not be
reproduced in whole or part, by photocopy
or other means, without permission of the author.

UNIVEf!S~TY '-.·F NORT., ER

BRITISH COLUMBIA

LIBRARY

Prince George, BC

11

Abstract

Adolescent female offenders require treatment programs designed specifically to
their needs. A group designed to strengthen self-esteem is designed in this project in
order to address the high frequency of self-esteem issues in this population. The
activities in the group are based on a cognitive behavioural, structured approach in order
to assist the facilitator in working with this reluctant population. Consideration is given
to adolescent development and the characteristics of female delinquency. A curriculum
for an 8 week, one and half hour per week outpatient group treatment program provides a
strategic approach to assisting female juvenile delinquents in developing recognizing self
worth, accepting their own strengths, identifying their values, and altering their responses
to negative situations.

. lll

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Abstract

11

Table of Contents

lll

Acknowledgements

v

Introduction

1

Adolescent Development

3

Female Delinquency

6

Self-Esteem

10

Why a Self-Esteem Group

13

Participant Selection

16

Group SetUp

19

Facilitation

20

Program Design

23

Program Evaluation

24

References

25

Appendix 1

Group Curriculum

29

Appendix 2

How Much Do You Know

59

Appendix 3

Your Areas of High and Low

60

Appendix 4

Measuring Your Own Success

61

Appendix 5

Values Ranking

62

Appendix 6

Feature Presentation

63

Appendix 7

Setting Goals

64

lV

Appendix 8

Taking Control

65

Appendix 9

Icebreaker Shapers

66

Appendix 10

Negative Self-talk

71

Appendix 11

Identifying Negative Self-talk

72

Appendix 12

Untwisting Those Distorted

73

Appendix 13

Think Positive Thoughts

74

Appendix 14

Card Game

75

Appendix 15

Positive Things People Can See

78

Appendix 16

Things That Make Me Feel Good

79

Appendix 17

How I Make Myself Miserable

80

Appendix 18

How I Can Take Care of Myself

81

Appendix 19

Reference for Group Curriculum

82

v
Acknowledeements
There are many individuals that with and without their knowledge were essential for the
completion of my academic goal. A special thanks goes out to all of those individual's
listed and to many more not included here that have touched my heart and mind
throughout the years.
A special thanks goes out Dr. Paul Madhak, Dr. Tom Strong, and Gerry Bloome for
taking the time out their own busy schedules to review and make improvements to this
project.
To my husband, Shawn, for picking up more than his usual share of parenting and
household responsibilities without a single complaint and listening to my frustrations and
ideas at a moments notice. And a promise to my sons, that they will once again have the
attention from their mother that they are accustomed to and deserve. And to let them
know that their smiles amidst all of the confusion were often a savings grace.
To my parents, who have instilled in me the belief in possibilities, the notion of hard
work paying off, and their undaunted belief in my ability. And to my in-laws for the
support of their time in caring for my children and, of course, their computer expertise.
To my sister for always standing beside me, reassuring me that things will get done, and
for demonstrating courage and determination.
To my great friend and colleague, Barb Burrows, for sharing her belief in the strength of
group work and her enthusiasm to work with such a difficult population.
To the staff at the Prince George Youth Forensics Clinic for letting me be part of such a
great team, with great ideas and strong hopes for the futures of the youth they serve.
To my friends and colleagues at the Family 'Y' ofPrince George. Your flexibility,
support, and companionship have touched all aspects of my life. The skills that you have
given me the ability to develop within your organisation help me reach success every
day.
· And a final hope for those young women who have lost their way in the search for
themselves, may you always find a supportive hand to guide you .... as I have been so
lucky to find time and time gain.

Building Self-Esteem 1

The apparent inattention to dealing with female delinquency can partially be
attributed to a past notion that women have not significantly contributed to criminal
activity (Norton, 1988; Shoemaker, 1990; Tanner, 2001). The juvenile female offender
has often been overlooked and underserved within the justice system. Currently,
however, the number of female offenders is on the rise. Statistics Canada reports a 29%
increase of all female adolescents being charged with a crime from 1986 to 1990
compared to an increase of only 14% in males. The correctional system, and those
systems that support corrections, must adapt to respond to the specific needs of female
offenders in order to prevent them from returning to crime (Morton, 1988). While it may
be idealistic and unnecessary to suggest that a new model of treatment for female
offenders be developed, it is plausible to add to the current services offered in the
forensics clinics in an attempt to reach some of the young women.treated there. Programs
must be developed to impact the reality of society's status and expectations of women
and specifically designed to meet their needs (Garfield & Hollin, 1990; Morton, 1988).
The purpose of this project is to present a group treatment program that will
enhance the self-esteem of adolescent female delinquents. The intent is to develop a
curriculum that can be added to the current services provided at the Youth Forensic
Psychiatry Clinic in Prince George, British Columbia, further referred to as the "clinic".
Currently, the legislative body that applies to juvenile crime, The Young Offender's Act
(Province ofBritish Columbia, 1985) states that youth who have broken the law have
special needs and require considerable guidance and assistance because they are still
dependent and immature (Jones, 1997). One of the strategies the "Ministry of Children

Building Self-Esteem 2
and Family Development" within Province of British Columbia uses to address this
consideration and in attempting to rehabilitate criminals is to provide mental health
services through outpatient clinics such as the one in Prince George. Assessments,
individual, and group therapy are typical services within these clinics provided to youth
currently involved with the justice system. The youth seen for treatment are typically
accessing services as a condition of their probation order, a conditional release which can
be revoked if the youth does not comply with its conditions (Jenkins, Heidelman, &
Caputo, 1985). Currently, several group programs are offered at the Prince George clinic
(e.g., low functioning sex offender treatment, anger management, etc.) and there is an
attempt to develop additional programs to serve the needs identified in the client group.
The program developed in this project is designed to be provided in conjunction with
individual therapy and is a technique to approach the topic area of self-esteem.
There is limited literature to guide the development of such a program for
offenders, particularly with female adolescent offenders (Kaweesi, 1999). Information
available on working with male offenders and non-offending populations often must be
generalized and adapted to meet the needs of the female offender. What is clear is that
many of the young women referred to the clinic are at a cross road, an opportunity to
either change the path they are currently taking and become productive members of
society or maintain a course towards becoming an inmate in the adult penal system
(Morton, 1988). The future path of these young females often lies in the hands of those
who work with them and what is offered to them at this critical time of growth.

Building Self-Esteem 3
Adolescent development
An understanding of the demands placed on teens, due to basic adolescent

development, is necessary to successfully work with this population (Morton, 1988).
Adolescence is a period of rapid change and development: physically, emotionally, and
cognitively (Schaefer, Johnson, & Wherry, 1982). Adolescence is the time of
development in which individuals seek their own identity and this includes their
independence. With the intensity of the demands of the developmental tasks during
adolescence, and the demands of a complex society, many teenage girls become
overwhelmed and symptoms of distress begin to appear. Many of these symptoms:
alcohol and drugs, violent outburst, sexually acting out, promiscuity, stealing, etc., are
related to adolescent delinquency. Many psychologists refer to the crisis of adolescence
as identity versus role confusion (Edwards, 1990). Teens are struggling to balance who
they feel they "are" and who they feel they "should" be.
As a young woman reaches adolescence her body begins an involuntary and
dramatic process of change. Changes in body shape, and hormones create a new sense of
self and new issues. Relationships take on the complex component of sexuality. The
world seems new and unsafe, and they usually do not know how to respond to sexual
advances and being treated as a sexual being {Morton, 1988). Adolescents struggle to
deal with the new physical reactions their body is experiencing and feel both guilt and
curiosity with frequent sexual thoughts. They are struggling to develop their sexual
identity, their thoughts, values, and preferences about sex with varied levels of accurate
knowledge about the subject. Teen girls often engage in sexual promiscuity in their

Building Self-Esteem 4
attempts to achieve a clear sexual identity if more appropriate values of sexual activity are
not modelled for them (Shoemaker, 1991).
During adolescence, a young girl is not only experiencing internal changes but
changes in her interactions with society. The changes that occur physically and
emotionally are accompanied by new experiences and new responses from other people
(Morton, 1988). As girls mature, society begins to treat them like women and they are
exposed to negative messages about their bodies, their minds, and their worth in society.
One of the phenomena that have come to be associated with the development of
adolescent females is the loss of a self assured and confident child in to a self-conscious,
insecure teenager uncertain of her own judgment, emotions, and appearance (Forsyth,
1998; Morton, 1988). She becomes more aware of her physical self and how she
compares with society's current standards ofbeauty and pays less attention to her own
individual skills and abilities. The lack of confidence that is associated with this
developmental stage makes adolescents anxious and insecure, which interferes with their
problem solving and ability to make sound choices (Pipher, 1994). These young women
are not certain of their own values and goals because they have placed so much emphasis
on the opinions of others and the images portrayed to them by society.
Young women are expected to mature and grow up quickly, taking on adult roles
within the family and society. The pace of this development has become more rapid than
some young girls can manage (Jenkins, et al, 1985). Often the expectations for daughters
in a family are higher than that of sons, creating greater demands for household
responsibilities, academics, social stature, etc. (Homer, 1986). These young girls often
lose sight of, or lose interest in, their dreams out of fear of failure or uncertainty of the

Building Self-Esteem 5
appropriateness of their dream (Pipher, 1994). They are often uncertain they can ·
accomplish their goals or feel that others do not support their goals, and they lose the
motivation to work for their goals.
Unlike males who strive for independence, female adolescents begin to take their
worth from the quality and strength of their personal relationships (Edwards, 1990). A
dilemma develops for young women as they attempt to work towards independence to
build a distinct sense of self while remaining connected with family and others in society.
Often, the importance of their non-familial ties become more important than familial
relationships as adolescents gravitate towards reliance on their peer group. Social
pressure reaches its peak in adolescence when their attention and worth changes in focus
from within the family to within friends and the larger peer group (Clark, Clemes, &
Bean, 1980; Orenstein, 1994). The influence that parents have on their teenagers
diminishes, as their teenagers' need to belong shifts from the family to their peer group.
Acceptance by their peer group provides a means to measure their worth (Clarke, et. al,
1980; Pipher, 1994). Peers often act as a youth's primary confidante and an adolescent's
primary means of learning about the adult world they are entering. Adolescents will
usually feel more comfortable discussing their feelings and confusion with friends rather
than adults. Many youth struggle with the task of balancing their own sense of a unique
and distinct self with importance placed on their intimate relationships (Johnson, Robert,
& Worrell, 1999). Adolescence is the time of development where it is critical that an

individual gains a firm sense of identity (Erikson, 1968; Pipher, 1994). Adolescents
strive for knowledge of themselves as a unique individual and a sense of their own
abilities, strengths, and value as a person with a future purpose in attempting to develop

Building Self-Esteem 6
their sense of identity (Erikson, 1968). Failure to accomplish this important
developmental task can lead to poor self-esteem and negative judgments of self worth
(Clark et. al, 1980; Pipher, 1994).
Female delinquency

Modem society has become increasingly complex while the standards and
controls on society and youth have gradually disintegrated (Jenkins et. al, 1985). While
the feminist movement has led to changes in responsibilities, and of young women,
societal expectations are varied and often lead to confusion and mixed messages for them.
The pressure, confusion, and, lack of structure have been attributed to increasing juvenile
delinquency. Delinquency is referred to any act that is considered illegal and is capable
ofbeing dealt with by criminal proceedings (Garfield, & Hollin, 1990).
Many causes of delinquency have been proposed, including heredity, identity
problems, community influences, and life and family experiences. Erik Erikson (1968)
suggested that adolescents, whose development restricted them from acceptable social
roles or made them feel that they could not measure up to the demands placed on them,
may choose a negative social role and identity. Many youth may find support for their
negative identity from specific peer groups, a level of acceptance they previously did not
perceive as attainable. If they feel they are unable to achieve a positive role, or are
uncertain what an appropriate societal role looks like, they will turn towards delinquency
as an available role choice.
Recently researchers have begun to examine the specific nature of female crime
and the different motivation principles that lead females to criminal activity as oppose to
males. While male criminal activity tends to motivated by the desire for economic gain

Building Self-Esteem 7
and status, female delinquency is often committed in the attempt to gain or maintain
relationships (Chesney-Lind & Sheldon, 1992; Garfield & Hollin, 1990). lfpopularity
and approval cannot be gained by being a "good girl", being a "bad" provides a sense of
excitement and can lead to approval within certain circles.
Many teens who engage in delinquent behaviours do not have the financial
resources to afford the fashionable wardrobes, the new toys, and extra-curricular activities
that they associate with popularity and status in the world of adolescence. If status cannot
be achieved through these means, recognition and status can be quickly achieved by
certain delinquent behaviours. The unfortunate teasing and social exclusion that can arise
for a teenage girl without the "right" clothes, the "right" image, can be an intense
motivating pressure to delinquent activity. Theft and prostitution are two crimes often .
used out of economic necessity in response to some of the pressure for certain tangible
goods (Morton, 1988).
Many of the offenses that bring the women to the attention of the criminal justice ·
system indicate that their behaviours are due to a perceived lack of power and available
choices (Chesney-Lind & Sheldon, 1992). More often than not, delinquent girls come
from broken homes and dysfunctional families, and they are characterized by low sense of
self and poor self-esteem. Many have experienced environments where aggression,
physical violence, and emotional deprivation are commonplace and an acceptable means
of conflict resolution (Garfield, & Hollin, 1990). They have not had opportunities or
experiences to develop healthy communication styles, assertiveness, and positive
relationships.

Building Self-Esteem 8
Researchers have shown that delinquent girls are often less socially competent
than their counterparts (Garfield & Hollin, 1990), particularly when dealing with peers
and adults. The behaviours and responses to others often modelled and taught to them are
not acceptable by society (Artz, 1998; Hewitt, 1998; Pipher, 1994). Parents with poor
social skills model and teach poor social skills to their children. When these inappropriate
behaviours become part ofthe youth's repertoire ofbehaviours they become ostracized
from their peers. They can feel at odds with their families and distant from their peer
group. This leads to a struggle to deal with intense feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Many of these young women engage in self-harm behaviours and suicide attempts in
response to such intense emotions.
The effects of the family system on the development of delinquent tendencies are
complex. Typically, the family support systems in these settings are also less equipped to
discourage anti-social behaviour. They inadequately monitor the behaviour of their
adolescent or provide suitable consequences for misbehaviour (Dishion, Patterson,
Stoolmiller & Skinner, 1991). Their failed or lacking attempts to deal with their child
fails to alter misbehaviour and may even escalate the situation. Many of these parents do
not have the skills to effectively discipline or guide their children's behaviours in a
positive and productive manner. Punishment, verbal and physical aggressions are
commonly used methods to try to deter anti-social behaviour but in turn only succeed in
continuing to teach inappropriate methods of conflict resolution and damaging to the
youth's self-esteem (Dishion, et. al, 1991).
Many writers have noted a cycle of abuse that leads to delinquent behaviour
(Homer, 1986; Harway & Liss, 1999). Far too often, the young women that engage in

Building Self-Esteem 9
criminal activity have a history ofvictimization themselves (Johnson, et. al, 1999;
Morton, 1988; Tanner, 2001). Somewhere in their past are often incidents of
psychological harm that often lead into misguided attempts of solace through sexual
promiscuity, substance use, or other delinquent or maladaptive behaviour. Even when the
young woman herself has not experienced trauma, typically her parents or caregivers have
experienced violence or abuse in their past (Edwards, 1990; Homer, 1986). Instead of
these young women trying to find solutions to deal with their pain of victimization, they
behave in negative ways against society and turn to delinquent behaviour to express their
pain (Stanford, 1988). Studies of teen prostitution have shown that as many as sixty-five
percent of those engaging in this activity were victims of early childhood sexual abuse
(Johnson, et al., 1999). Many were exploited one or more times by someone they trusted
and with whom they shared a bond. This early sexual experience may condition the child
to view sexual behaviour as an acceptable and necessary means to communicate and
accept and receive love from adults (Tanner, 2001).
Society tends to place expectations of a higher moral standard on girls than boys
thus increasing the deinands and confusion for developing female adolescents (ChesneyLind & Sheldon, 1992). When youth engage in sexual activity, often peers praise the
male and the female is blamed or ridiculed for her promiscuity. Traditionally, women
have carried the blame for poor sexual choices and behaviour (Homer, 1986). Young
girls involved with the legal system typically respond with greater levels of shame, guilt
and remorse than boys, due to the pressure in society for them to abide by these higher
standards. They recognize that they have violated the expectations for the female role and
this stigma is often a strong enough deterrent for some young women who have

Building Self-Esteem 10
committed less serious crimes (Shoemaker, 1990). They do not wish to be identified as a
delinquent and looked down on by their family and peers.
Self-esteem
Researchers have recently begun to look at the self-esteem of many youth with
aggressive and violent tendencies (Kinnear, 1995). It appears that much delinquent
behaviour is completed in a misguided attempt to boost the individual's self-esteem
(Chesney-Lind & Sheldon, 1992; Edwards, 1990; Pipher, 1994). These young girls may
turn towards criminal acts to experience the success they have not accomplished
elsewhere. To achieve contact and acceptance of others, they join with groups of
delinquent peers, or engage in promiscuous behaviours.
Although there are many postulated definitions for self-esteem, for the purposes
of this project and this treatment program, self-esteem is considered to be "an individual's
perception ofselfworth" (Edwards, 1990, p. 2). Self-esteem is a fundamental need, the
foundation of emotional well-being (Hewitt, 1998; Stanford, 1988). Research indicates
that it is unlikely the youth will find fulfillment in other areas such as creativity,
achievement, and a realization of her potential without adequate levels of self-esteem
(Clarke et. al, 1980). How an individual feels about herself will inevitably influence how
she behaves and the choices she makes. If someone believes they have the ability to be
successful she will act in ways and do certain things that will lead to success (Burns,
1994; Carrell, 1990; Hewitt, 1998). Contrast this with the young woman being
"punished" for her crime and treated like a problem to society. It is likely that, given the
life experiences of these girls and their current punitive interaction with society, they are
more apt to feel incompetent, incorrigible, and useless. This self-perception will lead

Building Self-Esteem 11
these women to make decisions and engage in behaviours consistent with their beliefs of
themselves (Artz, 1998). Adolescents will usually behave in ways consistent with how
they feel about themselves or how they believe others feel about them. Therefore, an
adolescent female who believes she is only seen as a disruptive delinquent is more opt to
continue to engage in delinquent behaviours.
Many people with low self-esteem often "pretend" that they are confident in
themselves as a means of a defense mechanism and they come across as aggressive, and
controlling. These youth feel powerless and feel the need to use a tough exterior to
preserve their minimal value ofselfworth (Clark et. al, 1980). When approached about
their behaviour they are quick to be defensive and easily frustrated with any attempts to
make change or progress. Many adolescents found in the justice system fit this profile. In
contrast, individuals with high self-esteem have a positive but realistic perception of
themselves, their own abilities, potential and limitations. They tend to deal with life's
demands and stressors in an assertive and constructive manner (Edwards, 1990). When
people feel good about themselves they usually feel positive about life and are able to
meet and solve any challenges that may arise with confidence and sound decision-making
. (Clark, et. al, 1980; Stanford, 1988).
Self-esteem is a multi-faceted trait that develops and shifts during one's
development and interactions with other people (Clark et. al, 1980;
Edwards, 1990; Hewitt, 1998; Stanford, 1988). An individual's self-esteem is determined
through their experiences throughout their lives (Clark, et. al, 1980; Morton, 1988). It
encompasses all of the thoughts, feelings, and experiences; one collects through these
experiences. For many of the young girls in the forensics setting, their life experience

Building Self-Esteem 12
consists of numerous traumatic events that have shaped not only their personalities but
also their self-perceptions of these girls. Exposure to abuse, neglect, and substance
misuse will inevitably affect her self-image (Homer, 1986). The dynamics of their
dysfunctional home life are unlikely to provide them with the necessary skills for high
self-esteem.
The negative stereotypes of women in society, male dominant family structures
and relationships, and the demands of balancing the expectations of a family and career
are attributed as reasons why young women tend to be more subject to low self-esteem
than young men (Edwards, 1990; Johnson, et. al, 1999). Manyadolescent female
offenders also face poverty issues that can have a detrimental effect on self-esteem. Due
to the importance society places on clothing and possessions, and the inability of the
lower socio-economic populations to acquire these items, the adolescent's social
conditionjeopardizes self-esteem (Edwards, 1990).
The pressures and developmental changes that occur during adolescence heighten
a teenage girl's susceptibility to self-esteem issues. The changes in body image and selfconcept that occur during puberty have a dramatic effect on self-esteem. Most of these
issues do not arise because the adolescent female actually has a poor body shape but
because she sees herself inaccurately or compares herself to an unattainable societal ideal
(Edwards, 1990). Many girls perceive beauty and thinness as a measure of self worth.
Socialization, cultural and peer pressure convey to .young girls that they will be judged
primarily on their appearance. They erroneously gain their self-esteem through a narrow
appraisal of their selves as opposed to an extensive evaluation ofwhole selves (Clark, et.
al, 1980; Cypert, 1994).

Building Self-Esteem 13
Why a self-esteem group?

One of the most difficult tasks when working with adolescents and in particular
those involved mandated by the justice system to participate in the therapeutic process is
to successfully engage them in the process (Carrell, 1993; Jenkins et al, 1995; Kaweesi,
1999; Seden, 1999). One approach that is often used is group treatment. While being
amongst a group of peers can cause anxiety in some, for most adolescents it is natural for
them to form groups. Group treatment dissipates the discomfort created for youth when
placed in an adult/child individual therapy modality. One to one therapy is often very
intimidating for these youth, as they have not experienced positive relationships with
other adults in authority in the past. The power disparity between the therapist and the
adolescent dissipates in a group setting where there are more youth than adults (Carrell,
1993; Farmer-Corder, 1994; Kaweesi, 1999). A group provides opportunity for
adolescents to give and receive feedback and discuss life goals with their peers. During
adolescence, many youth have the verbal and reasoning abilities that make discussion
groups feasible for the resolution of the difficulties of adolescence (Schaefer, et. al,
1982).
It is clear that treatment programs for all clients should be individualized and

based on their needs and circumstances (Garfield & Hollin, 1990; Morton, 1988). Often,
however, in a forensic setting, clients are simply treated according to their offense (e.g.,
Sex offenders attend a sex offender group) and the focus oftreatment is based simply on
that offense behaviour (Jenkins, et al., 1995). Clients are lumped together with other
similar offenders in a treatment program simply on the basis of their offense, not their
individual treatment needs.

Building Self-Esteem 14
In addition, young women in the justice system have typically been treated with

the same techniques as the male population despite their differing needs. As previously
noted, as is the case with all adolescent young women, self-esteem is an issue for
adolescent female offenders. A group devised specifically for self-esteem will allow for
these important issues to be addressed in a gender specific format. Clinical observations
note that young adolescents work better in same gender groups, as they are distracted and
impulsive when in groups with both genders (Carrel, 1983). Girls are also more open to
discuss intimate issues with other girls than with boys in the crowd.
Working with youth in a group format in a forensic clinic has benefits for the
clinic itself. As with many social service programs, the demand for individual
counselling at the clinic is usually higher than the level that staff can accommodate.
While the addition of groups is not meant to replace individual therapy it is a useful
adjunct to individual work in order to enhance the services provided to each client. It is
less time consuming than individual work and allows for more youth to be involved with
the clinic at any given time.
As previously discussed, self-esteem is a major issue for young women in general
and is often a key to adolescent girls' delinquent behaviour. These young women often
need assistance and support to reverse the effects of the negative images they have of
. themselves (Cypert, 1994; Morton, 1988). The benefits of successfully addressing selfesteem issues is supported by researchers and clinicians who agree that women can
enhance their sense of self worth and self-esteem through an appropriate treatment
program (Edwards, 1990).

Research and clinical practice has also established that by

improving a female offender's self-esteem, the likelihood of delinquent behaviour

Building Self-Esteem 15
decreases (Chesney-Lind & Sheldon, 1980; Kinnear, 1995; Pipher, 1994). Therefore, an .
attempt to decrease delinquent behaviour by including a self-esteem group as part of an
adolescent female offender's treatment plan appears warranted.
The cognitive behavioural approach that will be followed has been shown to be an
effective intervention with juvenile delinquents in teaching social skills and addressing
issues of self worth and self esteem (Burns, 1993; Carrel, 1994; Kaweesi, 1999; McKay
& Flanning, 2000; Siccone & Canfield, 1993). Further, this project is focused on

strength based skill building issues and avoids the direct offense behaviour in an attempt
not to focus on the youth's image as a "delinquent" or "offender". It focuses on the issue
of self-esteem as a contributing factor to their delinquent behaviour. The young women
will not get stuck with the image of seeing herself only as a delinquent when the focus of
treatment is shifted from the offense behaviour to the topic of self-esteem. (Brendto,
Brokenleg, & Van Bocer, 992). This in turn will allow them to see other possible roles
they can play within society. Among the goals for this group will be to help the young
women increase their feelings of competence, develop their own sense of ethics and
values, and improve their feelings of present and future potential for themselves.
With the struggles of identity development apparently related to engaging in
delinquent acts, it is important to address the relevant issues when treating young female
offenders. Young women need assistance to make the connection between who they are
becoming, and the messages that they receive about themselves and women in general by
society (Morton, 1988). This will mean encouraging them to identify and accept their
personal strengths and worth, friends, and society as a whole (Cypert, 1994; Edwards,
1990). These young women need to learn to change their focus from attempting to gain

Building Self-Esteem 16
external approval to skill development, cooperation, and being able to enjoy life. This
curriculum is developed in a manner that provides a firm, competent, limit setting model
that the adolescents can identify with, feel safe within to explore new skills, and to
incorporate pro-social behaviours instructed and modelled by the therapists involved
(Schaefer, et. al, 1982). An increase in confidence in one's social skills improves selfesteem and will enable these young women to gain a clear direction in life and take steps
towards success (Clark, et. al, 1980; Edwards, 1990).
The hopes of this treatment program are that participants develop strong selfesteem without relying on external acceptance or the need to please others. Participants
will improve their decision-making skills and find confidence that will assist them from
being negatively influenced by. One goal is to enable the young women to identify and
change their own negative reactions to events and how this affects the outcome of the
situation. This will allow them to be more empowered over their own lives. Many of
these young girls require education on what options are available to them, and an
opportunity to explore alternate, positive lifestyle options. In doing this, it is important to
encourage positive female relationships and to develop relationship skills that allow for
safe levels of trust, support, and mutual respect.
Participant Selection

A careful selection of the participants to include in the self-esteem group will be
essential for its success (Garfield & Hollin, 1990; Farmer-Corder, 1994; Koziski, 1999;
Peck & Bellsmith, 1962). The selection of participants will rely on the experience and
advice of the clinic's forensic treatment team, relevant literature, and psychological
testing. Initial consideration must be rooted in the understanding that not every referred

Building Self-Esteem 17
client is suited for this form of group intervention for self-esteem (Garfield & Hollin,
1990). Since the primary goal of this treatment method is to increase the participant's
level of self-esteem, an initial assessment must include an evaluation of the potential
candidate's self-esteem. While research has shown that young offenders often have low
self-esteem, we cannot assume this to be true of all clients (Garfield & Hollin, 1990).
Even with mandated clients, their motivation level frequently varies (Seden,
1999). If she perceives the process of the treatment will lead to beneficial results, she will
be more committed to the process and will likely experience an increase in self-esteem
(Farmer-Corder, 1994). This means that the youth must agree that she has a need for
improved self-esteem and that their involvement in the group will yield such a result. It is
not recommended that group therapy to be forced on a very resistant client as this may
lead to attempts to sabotage the group.
The selection of the group participants at the clinic benefits from various forms of
assessments undertaken by qualified personnel, including psychiatric or psychological
professionals. On many occasions, a court ordered assessment has been completed on
the youth prior to treatment and this is used for case planning. Such assessments may
include an interview with a licensed psychologist and/or psychiatrist, involving a
complete social history, and the possibility of intelligence and personality testing. At a
minimum, potential clients complete an in-depth clinical interview, which includes
collateral information from family and other professionals present in the youth's life.
Both forms of assessment provide an opportunity for a global perspective of the youth,
including the identification of self-esteem issues. Occasionally, these issues are not

Building Self-Esteem 18
identified through the assessment process but will become apparent to the therapist
working with the youth individually and they then can be referred for group therapy.
After determining that a young woman would benefit from work on her selfesteem it is determined whether the next group is best for her. When selecting the final
membership for the group, the therapists must look beyond each individual candidate and
towards the entire "group mix". The overall skill level of the group and ability to deal
with stress and anxiety must be considered (Farmer-Corder, 1994). Often a group can be
drawn down to the level of its lowest functioning member, both socially and
intellectually. In order to facilitate necessary group interaction a balance must also be
establish between those youth who tend to be withdrawn and those who will be active
group participants (Farmer-Corder, 1994). Any youth who is too deviant from the norm
on any of these measures may have to be excluded from the group in order to create
successful group dynamics and productivity. A pre-interview will be completed by one
of the group facilitators with each group participant. This individual time will allow an
introduction of the goals for the group, the expectations of participation, and a final
screening for the appropriateness ofthe individual's participation (Carell, 1993).
Understandably, within a forensic setting with a mandated clientele, the facilitators will
not have total control over group selection, as some participants and the group mix may
not always be ideal. However, every effort must be made to create groupings that will
have the highest likelihood of success (Seden, 1999). The inclusion of these steps in the
selection process is consistent with what is used in most group selection (Harway & Liss,
1999; Johnson, et. al, 1999).

Building Self-Esteem 19
Group Set Up

This self-esteem group is designed to be completed in eight one and one half hour weekly
sessions. The group is a closed group, meaning that the membership will be set at the
beginning of the group and no new members will join the group after the first session
(Carell, 1993; Farmer-Corder, 1994). A closed group is suggested in order to allow for
the necessary development of the group process beneficial for success (Carell, 1993).
This allows participants to become acquainted with one another and for a comfort level to
be established and increased disclosure to occur. It also avoids the disruption that can
occur when group members join and leave an open group. The intended duration of the
group should always be shared with the group. Because of the clients' questionable
motivation to participate in a mandated group, it is necessary to note to the group that a
set amount of material must be accomplished. Should difficulties arise in completing this
material within the planned eight weeks, an extra session may have to be added.
Although the proposed intervention will involve a closed group, the activities have been
purposefully designed to be self-contained within individual sessions to accommodate for
any drop out of participants.
To accommodate open conversation and the ability for all participants to be able
to address one another, it is suggested that they are seated in a circular format (Carrell,
1993). With a circular format it is easy to follow a "round robin" approach group
activities and debriefing. As many of the young women in this group may not be skilled
in social discourse, an unstructured interaction may not work well, so a method of
participation that allows everyone to know when it is their tum to speak proves to be
successful.

Building Self-Esteem 20
The suggested size ofthe groups is between 6-10 participants. Too few
participants does not allow for the beneficial dynamics of the groups' processes to
develop (Carrell, 1993; Farmer-Corder, 1994). In contrast, a group number beyond this
size can be overwhelming for both the participant and therapist. Participants may not
receive the attention important for this population while the therapist may not be able to
observe and intervene with the inevitable behavioural and attitudinal challenges required
in working with a delinquent group.
Facilitation

Research dealing with success rates in youth services indicated that the success of
a service is more strongly linked to the human relationships developed between the
service provider and the youth than the specific approach of the program (Brendto, et. al,
1992). In order to successfully lead this program the facilitators will need to know the
characteristics of delinquent young women and effective techniques to build rapport with
this population (Ferrary, 1992). Delinquents are typically resistant to change, so the
therapist will need to be persistent in their attempts to motivate change, yet sensitive to
the youths' situation and their current frame of mind. It must be remembered that the
participants will be suspicious of the motives of the facilitator and could put up rigid
defenses (Brendtro, et. al, 1992; Kaweesi, 1999). In responding to their defenses, the
facilitator will need to be prepared to deal with behavioural problems, negative attitudes,
non-compliance, personality factors, and inappropriate value statements. The facilitator
cannot allow her/himself to respond defensively or aggressively or the efforts of the
treatment program will be nullified (Farmer-Corder, 1994; Ferrary, 1992; Kaweesi,
1999). When dealing with a mandated group, the therapist must be able to communicate

Building Self-Esteem 21
well and develop a positive relationship with a difficult client group. They must be
skilled in working through the reluctance, hostility, and resistance that is typical of the
delinquent population. The importance of positive regard for the client is essential
(Seden, 1999). To demonstrate positive regard therapist must listen to the young women,
attempting to understand their perspectives and work hard to create a working partnership
towards success. Some techniques helpful in accomplishing this are to ensure the
therapists display respect for the client, that they set clear expectations with no surprises,
and that they keep their word at all times (Farmer-Corder, 1994; Seden, 1999). It is
suggested that a model of co-facilitation be followed whenever possible in order to allow
for one individual to observe the group and deal with behavioural and other issues while
the other facilitator focuses on delivering the material (Ferrary, 1992). An opportunity to
model appropriate and respectful relationships between genders can be created by pairing
a male and female facilitator (Farmer-Corder, 1994). If this option is not available, the
presence of female facilitators typically creates a higher level of comfort and rapport
among the group, however (Farmer-Corder, 1994).
With the history of invoivement these youth have typically had with negative
adult interactions (Edwards, 1990), it is extremely important for the leaders of this
program to model mutual respect and to take on a fairly democratic but not permissive
approach (Jenkins et al., 1985; Schaefer, et al., 1982). While the initial interaction with
these mandated clients is based on the authority and power of the justice system, if the
clinician is open, honest, and predictable the initial begrudging respect can evolve in to
solid mutual respect. To accomplish this, the facilitator will need to be dependable and
true to their word and the young women will soon learn that the best way to make the

Building Self-Esteem 22
most of the experience is to be respectful and actively participate (Jenkins et al., 1985).
Undoubtedly, this will be a difficult task with some of the young women as they have
built their image on toughness and resistance to adult influence. While these young
women may need to be gently confronted in order to deal with their denial (Farmer
Corder, 1994), they will also need to be predictably and consistently reinforced for
acceptable and positive interaction and productive group work. They may covertly
disparage any positive rewards at first but with a dedicated and persistent facilitator,
eventually progress will be made. The positive attitude of the facilitator can have the
power to change the clients' perceptions of themselves and the group process (McKay &
Flanning, 2000). The facilitator must always keep in mind that modeling is perhaps the
most powerful teaching tool (Farmer-Corder, 1994; Shephard, as cited in Garfield &
Hollin, 1990) and the facilitators should model confidence and acceptance while
encouraging any positive peer role models in the group to actively display their skills for
others in the group.
In preparation for the group, the facilitator will need to gather any imperative

historical or situational factors (e.g., history of abuse, mental health diagnosis, current
school status, family dynamics, etc.) of the participants in the group (Harway & Liss,
1999). This will allow them to pay close attention to any emotional problems,
relationship issues, or abuse cycles that may exist in the lives of the participants. With
this population, the facilitator must always be sensitive to issues of physical, emotional,
and sexual abuse as victimization will be a common issue. While the setting of this
group is not designed to deal with these issues within group sessions, it is important to
follow up with any issues that arise in later individual sessions.

Building Self-Esteem 23
Program Design

Despite female adolescents' tendencies to form groups, their discomfort with
discussing intimate information with relative strangers must also be considered. In an
attempt to increase comfort, the design for this project includes a considerable amount of
structured activities (Carrel, 1993). This structure will help to guide the session to the
intended topic matter unlike unstructured groups that may not achieve all of the
established goals (Schaefer, et. al, 1982). The activities are task oriented and selected to
promote specific responses from the group in order to accomplish the goals of the project.
This structured format provides the framework necessary for the facilitator to define and
direct the sessions allowing the therapist to focus on group dynamics and intervening with
any inappropriate interactions.
The group curriculum developed in this project is designed to assist the facilitator
successfully engage and make change with this population. Teaching social skills and
methods to increase self-esteem will enable the youth to resist peer pressure and future
criminal activity (Edwards, 1990). The program uses a proven effective multi-step
method for teaching social skills and self-esteem development (Garfield & Hollin, 1990;
Kaweesi, 1999). This process includes the instruction, modeling and practice of
necessary skills, accompanied by feedback on each client's performance of the skill. The
inclusion of reinforcement and homework is an important step for the transfer of the skills
to their young women's natural environment. This approach to teaching new skills
allows the group activities to be quite concrete and focused on training the specific goal
behaviours (Farmer-Corder, 1994).

Building SeH'-Rsteem 24
Typically, adolescent groups are characterized by giggling and nervou
movements during initial sessions. Therapeutic games will be used to decrease these
non-productive interactions and reintroduce the participants each week to start the group
process. The initial sessions of the curriculum are filled with very concrete and task
oriented activities with non-threatening participant output in order to provide a concrete
structure to encourage group interaction, feedback, and input. Gradually, as the
confidentiality of the group has been tested and rapport developed, the activities permit
more self-reflection, and self-disclosure with the introduction of role-plays and use of
personal examples of negative scenarios. All of the activities were selected to address the
goals the project and the skills and strategies necessary to improve self-esteem. Ideally,
the youth will shift their focus from wanting to change their past to taking control of the
things they can change in their future (Cypert, 1994). Identifying values, developing
goals, recognizing self-worth, and engaging in positive self-talk are essential skills to
bolster the self-esteem required for future success and confident decision making skills
(Burns, 1994; Canfield & Siccone, 1993; Edwards, 1990; Holmes & Leslau-Silverman,
1992; Huggins, Wood Manion & Moen, 1994; McKay & Flanning, 2000). The increase
in self-esteem will lead to an ability to resist peer pressure and returning to delinquent
behaviour.
Program Evaluation
It is important to develop a fairly objective method to measure the success of any

program. Facilitators of this program may chose to use a clinical outcome measure
involving testing participant's self-esteem levels pre and post treatment (Ferrary, 1992).
The facilitators of the program may chose to develop their own measurement tool that

Building Self-Esteem 25
focuses on the specific goals covered in the program (Farmer-Corder, 1994). or make use
of an established tool such as Brown and Alexanders' Self-Esteem index, or
Hoffineister's Self-Esteem Questionnaire (as cited in Sweetland & Keyser, 1994). The
effects of the program on the participant's interpersonal relationships, social adjustment,
attitude towards themselves and others will also be indicative of the program's
effectiveness (Kaweesi, 1999). These effects can be evaluated by the observations of
both the individual therapist working with the young woman and any other important
figures involved in her life. The practice of an integrated case management model used
by the Prince George clinic will be an appropriate means to gather this information.
Individual goals for each participant can be established prior to attending group and the
successfully achievement of these goals considered a success (Farmer-Corder, 1994).
These goals can be stated in a pre-therapy agreement with the program facilitator or
individual therapist and progress towards these goals documented. Ultimately, a key to
evaluating the success of treatment in a forensics setting will be a decrease in the
recidivism of criminal activity in participants. Success may include a reduction in any
criminal activity or a reduction in severity and/or frequency of delinquent behaviour.

Building Self-Esteem 26
References

Brendtro, L., Brokenleg, M., & Van Bockern, S. (1992). Reclaiming youth at risk: Our
hope for the future. Bloomington, IN: National Educational Services.
Burns, D. (1993). Ten days to self-esteem. New York: Quill William Morton.
Canfield, J., & Siccone, F. (1993). 101 Ways to develop student self-esteem and
responsibility: The teacher as coach. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Carrell, S. (1993). Group exercises for adolescents: A manual for therapists. Newbury
Park, CA: Sage Publications.
Chesney-Lind, M. & Sheldon, R. (1992). Girls, delinguencyand juvenile justice.
Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks and Cole Publishing Company.
Clark, A., Clemes, H, & Bean, R. (1980). How to raise teenager's self esteem. Los
Angeles: Price Stern Sloan.
Dishion, T.J., Patterson, G.R., Stoolmiller, M., & Skinner, M.L. (1991). Family, school,
and behavioural antecedents of early adolescent involvement with anti-social
peers. Developmental Psychology, 27, (1) 172-180.
Edwards, P. (1990). Self-esteem and adolescent women. Ottawa: Canadian Teacher's
Federation, Capella Projects.
Erikson, E. (1968). Identity: Youth and crisis. New York: W.W. Norton.
Farmer-Corder, B. (1994). Structured adolescent psychotherapy groups. Sarasota, FL:
Professional Resource Exchange.
Ferrary, M. (1992). Group counselling with juvenile delinquents: The limit and lead
approach. Newbury Park, CA: Sage Publications.

Building Self-Esteem 27
Garfield, S. & Hollin, C. (1990). Psychology practitioner guidebooks: Cognitivebehavioural interventions with young offenders. Toronto, ONT: Pergamon Press.
Harway, M., & Liss, M. (1999). Dating violence and teen prostitution: Adolescent girls
in the justice system. Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association.
Hewitt, J. (1998). The myth of self-esteem: Finding happiness and solving problems in
America. New York: St. Martins Press.
Holmes, J. & Leslaue Silverman, E. (1992). We're here, listen to us: A survey of young
women in Canada. Toronto: Tri-Graphic Printing Limited.
Homer, J. (1986). A perspective on the female offender. Winnipeg, Man: Seventh
Bicentennial Conference of the National Association ofWomen and the Law
Huggins, P., Wood Manion, D., & Moen, L. (1994). Building self-esteem in the
classroom: Intermediate version. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
Jenkins, P., Heidelmann, P., & Caputo, J. (1985). No single cause: Juvenile
delinquency and the search for effective treatment. College Park, Maryland: The
American Correctional Association.
Johnson, N., Robert, M, Worell, J. (1999). Beyond appearance: A new look at
adolescent girls. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Jones, P. (1997). Young offenders and the law (2nd ed.). North York, Ont: Captus
Press.
Kaweesi, C. (1999). Social work practice with female delinquents. Unpublished
Masters project, University of Northern British Columbia, Prince George, Canada.
Kinnear, K. (1995). Violent children: A reference handbook. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC
Clio Incorporated.

Building Self-Esteem 28
Koziski, C. (1999). Stress management for young adolescent girls: Strengthening the
connection in the school setting. Unpublished Masters project, University of
Northern British Columbia, Prince George, Canada.
McKay, M. & Planning, P. (2000). Self-esteem (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger
Publication.
Morton, J. (1988). Complex challenges, collaborative solutions: Programming for adult
and juvenile female offenders. College Park, Maryland: American Correctional
Association.
Orenstein, P. (1994). Schoolgirls: Young women, self-esteem and the confidence gap.
New York: Doubleday Publishing.
Peck, H., & Bellsmith, V. (1962). Treatment of the delinquent adolescent: Group and
individual with parent and child. New York: Family Services Association of
America.
Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of adolescent girls. New York:
Ballantine Books.
Province of British Columbia (1985). Young offenders act. Victoria, BC: Queen' s
Printer for British Columbia.
Schaefer, C., Johnson, L., & Wherry, J. (1982). Group therapies for children and youth:
Principles and practices of group treatment. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass
Publishers.
Seden, J. (1999). Counselling skills in social work practice. Trowbridge, Great Britain:
Open University Press.

Building Self-Esteem 29
Siccone, F. & Canfield, J. ( 1993 ). 101 Ways to develop student self-esteem and
responsibility: The power to succeed and beyond. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn
& Bacon.

Shoemaker, D. (1990). Theories of delinquency: The examination of delinquent
behaviouralism (2nd ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.
Standford, G. (1988). Self-esteem. New York: Globe Book Company.
Sweetland, R.C. & Keyser, D.F. (Eds.). (1991). Tests: A comprehensive reference for
assessment in psychology, education, and business. (3rd ed.). Austin, TX: Pro-Ed
Incorporated.
Tanner, J. (2001). Teenage troubles: Youth and deviance in Canada. Scarborough, Ont:
Nelson Learning.
Wexler, D. (1991). The Prism workbook: A program for innovative self-management.
New York: W.W. Norton.

Building Self-Esteem 30

Appendix 1: Group Curriculum

Building Self-Esteem 31

BUILDING
SELF-ESTEEM:
A GROUP FOR
FEMALE JUVENILE
DELINQUENTS

Building Self-Esteem 32

Note to therapist:
This curriculum includes the necessary information and worksheets necessary to complete
eight, 1 'li hour sessions. Additional materials will be required for certain activities
including: whiteboard or chart paper, pens and pencils, supplies for ice breaker activities
and may require some preparation.
The following curriculum is designed to indicate by the font whether the included
information is to be shared with the group or if it is for the therapist's benefit.
Example:
Italics indicate information for the therapist purposes.
Regular text indicates material to be read or stated to the
group.
Please note that is not necessary to read the information verbatim from the text. The
included text is simply a suggested manner to present the information.
The material and concepts presented in this group has been gathered from various sources
including: Bums (1993), Canfield & Siccone (1993), Carell (1993), Clarke, Clemes &
Bean (1980), Edwards (1990), Hewitt (1998), Huggins, Wood Manion, & Moen (1994),
McKay & Planning (2000), Siccone & Canfield (1993), and Wexler (1991). Complete
citation available from reference list (refer to Appendix 18).

Building Self-Esteem 33

Session One
Welcome group. Introduce therapists and ask the participants to introduce themselves.
Inform the group ofsession length, (eight one hour and a half sessions with a break half
way through). Be sure to state the time and day offuture sessions. Remind ofpurpose of
group and encourage active participation. Allow for any questions.
Now before we get started let's take some time to go over our rules of working together
as a group. The purpose for these guidelines are so that we can create an environment
where we can all feel safe, and able to complete the assignments we will be looking at.
Each of you should have gone over some of these guidelines during your pre-session
meeting, but it is a good idea that we discuss them together so we all get started on the
same foot.
Who remembers what some of the "Group rules" include:
Right all answers on board or chart paper.
Be sure they include confidentiality, no put-downs, respecting each other's opinions,
listening when others are talking, arrive on time, attend all sessions, complete homework,
and actively participate to the best ofyour ability. Prompt for or jill any that are missed.

Introduction to self esteem
Today we are going to spend some time getting to know what self-esteem is all about and
what you already know about it. We will also spend some time evaluating our own selfesteem in different areas. This will help decide which areas to focus on as we work
through the next few weeks.
Let's start off thinking about what we already know about self-esteem. We will do a
quick self-assessment to see where we are at.

Worksheet 1: Your Self-Esteem Know How! (Appendix 2)
Take a few minutes to complete this worksheet. Just circle 'T' for True or 'F' for false
depending on if you agree or disagree with the statements listed.
Allow time for completion of exercise.
Now that you have completed the worksheet let's take a look at your answers. We will
go around the circle and you can indicate if you think the statement is true or false. There
is not only one right answer so don't be afraid to share your response.

Building Self-Esteem 34

Go around the group prompting for answer to all questions. Ask if any one has a
different response to the questions and allow time for discussion.

Discussion Questions
What do we mean when we talk about self esteem? What does self-esteem mean?
Allow for all answers and post on board or chart paper.
Great. Basically, self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. How you perceive your
own abilities and who you are.
Why do you think high self-esteem can be beneficial, how is it helpful?
Be sure that the group discusses:
• helps relate to other people
• makes us confident to try new things
• helps us make healthy choices about ourselves
• helps to make friends
How could low self-esteem cause problems for someone when:
• Talking to new people
• Admitting they are wrong
• Making decisions
• Accepting constructive criticism
• Expressing their own ideas that may be different from other people's
How could annoying characteristics like being: a bully, conceited, critical, or a
loudmouth, be a reflection oflow self-esteem?
Do you think most people are too easy or too hard on themselves? Why?
What we have to remember is that our level of self-esteem is not always the same. Some
of what affects our self-esteem is controlled by us and some is determined by other
people treat us. We can, however, control how we respond to the way people treat us.
Over the next few weeks we will be learning a lot more about all of this.

Evaluating Self esteem
The next exercise will help you examine your own level of self-esteem in various areas in
your life. Therapist may read directions out loud or encourage participants to read them
themselves and ask for directions if they are not clear.

Worksheet 2: Your Areas of High and Low Self-Esteem (Appendix 3)
(adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion & Moen, 1994)

-.......,..- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- -- .. .
Building Self-Esteem 35
This work sheet is designed to help participants take a good look at how they feel about
themselves. Hopefully they will gain a truer picture of themselves. It is important for
them to realize that there are ways that they can learn to acknowledge and accept both
their strengths and limitations. Be sure to encourage open and honest answers and note
that no one will have to share their responses after the exercise.
Allow time to complete exercise.
To score Worksheet 2

Remember that self-esteem is a complex issue that involves all aspects of your lives.
This worksheet allows you to find out which areas about your life you feel best about and
what are the areas in your life where you have low self-esteem.
The worksheet that you just completed looks at five different self-esteem areas: Write on
board.
1- How you feel about yourself in general (Questions 1-5)
2- What you think about your intelligence (Questions 6-10)
3 -What you think about how you look (Questions 11-15)
4 - What you think of your social relationships or how you get along with
people(Questions 16-20)
5- What you think of the way you handle school and studying. (Questions 21-25)
You can see on your worksheet that these areas have been divided in to five questions for
each area. Total each section to give yourself a score out offive for each. .
Our differing levels of self-esteem relate to how we think or feel about ourselves in
certain situations. While someone may have good or high self-esteem in one situation,
her self-esteem may be low in another. For example, someone may have high self-esteem
as a student and at the same time have low self-esteem in social relationships. This is
important to know because our self-esteem is the underlying reason why we do the things
we do and make the choices and decisions we do. A person with low self-esteem in
social gatherings is not likely to go to school dance or ask someone she likes to go to a
movte.
Notice which areas you scored the highest. .. and which you scored on the lower end. The
areas that you scored lower on are those that you will want to focus on as we learn ways
to increase our self-esteem over the next few weeks.
Homework

Every week you will be asked to do some form of homework between the sessions.
Remember that no matter what we cover in the sessions, you will only be able to achieve

Building Self-Esteem 36
progress if you take what you have learned in these sessions and apply it outside of this
classroom.
This week, we want you to identify some situations where your self-esteem is affective by
the situation. This may be that you feel confident writing a test or you feel uncomfortable
meeting someone new. Once you identify a situation, try to determine what is affecting
your self-esteem. Do you usually ace your math test, or did you study a great deal?
You will be asked to share this with the group next week so you may want to write it
down once you have done it. See you next week.

Building Self-Esteem 37

Session Two
Icebreaker: Objects like me (adapted from Carell, 1993)
The therapist needs to bring a carefully selected group of objects (some suggested items
include: Lego, sponge, matches, pine cone, a rock, a whistle, tissues, and a clown doll,
etc.). Objects selected should be able to elicit a certain response. The items are to be
arranged on a table and each participant in turn selects an object they feel is most like
themselves and then tells the group why they selected that piece. It may be helpful for the
therapist to give an example to start. Example: "I have selected a sponge because I like
to absorb new information. " Allow for any feedback or discussion that might come from
the group.
Check in
Who had the opportunity to identify a situation where there was a change in your selfesteem or that the situation affected your self-esteem.
Provide positive feedback for all responses. Again encourage the group to complete
homework tasks.

How do we develop self-esteem?
Self-esteem is something that is constantly developing throughout our lives. We absorb
every experience in our lives, all of our successes and failures, how we think other people
see us, how we see ourselves compared to others, and what is happening in the moment to
determine our current level of self-esteem. It can change from day to day, hour by hour
depending on what we are experiencing at any given time.
What factors do you think create or develop our self-esteem? List responses on board.
Feeling appreciated by other people helps to boost our self-esteem. People need to feel
appreciated and know that other people like what they do. Can you think of time in the
last few months that you have felt appreciated? At home, school, with friends? How did
you know you were appreciated? How did this make you feel?
Allow for input from each participant.
While it is important for us to have an understanding of what people around us expect
from us and what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour, it is dangerous to ignore our
own expectations and desires and focus only on other people's opinion. Obviously, when
we feel appreciated by others we feel worthwhile and better about ourselves. Far too
often, we measure success by other people's standards and forget about our own. How
often do you appreciate yourself, and the choices you make just for you? We are going to
take some time to look at this.

Building Self-Esteem 38

Worksheet #3: Measuring Your Own Success (Appendix 4)

Introduce the activity and allow time for completion.· Ask participants to share their
responses.
In order to determine how we will measure success for ourselves, we need to have clear
understanding of our own personal values. What is important to you? What do you want
and need out of life? Our values are often influenced by those around us, our family,
friends, and even those people we choose not to associate with - but it is important to
clearly know what our own values are. Let's take a look at an exercise that will help you
determine what is important to you and how you will measure success.

Worksheet #4: Values Ranking (Appendix 5)
Remember when doing this exercise that you are ranking what is important to YOU in
your OWN life.

Allow time to complete the exercise. When completed, ask everyone to share their top
three items. Prompt for discussion around why they selected these items, and what
decisions these values would influence on a daily basis.
Homework
Go back to the worksheet "Measuring your own success". Have a look again at what you
indicated would make you successful in your own eyes. During this week we want you to
note all of the small and big successes you have this week. It does not have to be the
same success you have listed in your worksheet. Also note any times when you feel
appreciated by others. You may wish to keep a journal throughout the week to jot down
these moments and have them ready to share with the group next week. Everyone will
need to have one example share.

Building Self-Esteem 39
Session Three
Ice Breaker: Cooperation puzzle (adapted from Siccone & Canfield, 1993)
Cut some basic geometric shapes in pieces to make a few simple puzzles out of cardboard
or construction paper. Give one piece ofa puzzle to each member of the group. Explain
to the group that they will have to find the other people that have pieces to the same
puzzle as they do and work together to put the puzzle together.
Check In
So how did everyone do with their homework assignment for this week? Go around the
circle and ask each participant for an example of a success they experienced this week. It
may be helpful for the therapist to start with an example of a small success. Also discuss
any moments when the participants experienced the feeling of being appreciated by
someone. Try to include a brief comment about the importance ofself-appreciation.
Goal Setting
It is important to set goals for yourself and it is even more important to recognize your
accomplishment when you have achieved them. It is hard to recognize your success if
you have not clearly laid out your goals in life. You may have goals for the day, the
week, or goals for your whole life. We are going to start looking at general goals. Where
you want to see your self in five, ten, and fifteen years.
Worksheet #5: Feature Presentation (Appendix 6)
(adapted from Siccone & Canfield, 1993)
Handout out the worksheets but ask the participants not to start right away until you have
given the complete instructions.

Imagine that you have sat down to watch movie about your life. Across the movie screen
you see the words "Feature Presentation". Your future is divided in to the three parts:
the next five years, the five years after that, and the five years after that. So you are
viewing the next fifteen years of your life. The movie shows major highlights, events,
and accomplishments that will occur during this time. Some events you might see
include: getting your driver's license, your first car, your graduation for high school,
college, or university, or getting a job.
Imagine what these screens would look like. If you can not picture the movie at first,
that's O.K.. Just ask yourself, "What do I want to accomplish in my life in the next five
years?" When you have an image in your mind, draw the image on the sheet of paper in
front of you. There can be more than one event in each box, many things can happen
over five years. In the second screen draw what will happen between five and ten years
from now and so on.
Allow for time to complete assignment and then have them share with the group.

Building Self-Esteem 40
Many of the events that you have included in your "Feature Presentation" represent goals
that you have for yourself. We have talked about how important it is to set goals for
yourselfbut lets now talk about how to set goals and how to set goals that lead to success
and opportunities to boost our self-esteem.

Worksheet #6: Setting GOALS (Appendix 7)
(adapted from Siccone & Canfield, 1993)
Now I want you to pick one goal to work with for the next activity. This can be from any
of the activities from today or last week or something new that you have just thought of.
Make sure that is a goal that is important to you and one that you feel is achievable.
Write your goal on the top of the worksheet "Setting Goals". Now let's talk about how to
make goals. Write the letters GOALS, vertically on board.
Consider what about this goal interests you. Is it a something that you really want and
believe in? Or is it something that you think other people want for you but you don't
really care about? It is important that you make "Genuine" goals.
Fillin 'G 'enuine on board.
It is important that you make goals that you really want for yourself and are prepared to

take ownership of. Your goals need to be real and not just talk.

What is the matter with the goal of "I want to make money?" Allow for discussion and
guide them to the discussion that they will not know when they have observed success as
there is no end measurement.
That's right; you have no way to tell whether or not you have achieved your goal. The
second key to goal setting is making it 'O'bservable. You must know where you started
and where you finish in order to be able to measure your goal. You need to know what
success will look like when you see it.
Fill in '0 'bservable on board.
Now look at your goal and see if it is observable. If not, rewrite your goal so that it has a
built in system for identifying success. How will you know when you have achieved
your goal?
Now let's say that you went down to a retail store to get a new outfit. Now you need
something elegant and formal so you ask the clerk to give you an evening gown free of
charge. Can you figure out what is the matter with this request? Allow for Answers,
trying to get the participants to state that is not possible or achievable.

Building Self-Esteem 41
Nope, there is no way this is ever going to happen. No one is going to give you a gown
for free. Even the most determined goal seeker can not attain goals that aren't achievable.
So the 'A' stands for achievable.

Fill in 'A 'chieveable on board.
Is your goal achievable? If not, get real and rewrite your goal. Make sure it is realistic.
How do you know it can be done? Consider what skills and talents you need to achieve
the goal.
Look again at your goals. Is it something you really want for yourself? Or is something
that other people want for you? If your goal is not something you really want, you won't
be motivated to achieve it. So change it to something that you truly want to strive for.
Now the next point has to do with time. What if you made the goal to get a job someday?
Is anything the matter with this goal?
That is right. You notice that someday is so vague that you might not get your job until
you are 65. 'L' stands for Length of time you will allow to complete the goal. When do
you want to have it accomplished.

Fill in 'Length of time' on board.
Check your goal and indicate a time frame by when you intend to accomplish it.
Consider the steps you might have to take to get there and how long they require. Think
about where you find the time to do what is necessary for this goal and any resources
necessary to achieve it.
For the final point, let's go back to scenario in the store and you when the clerk asked
what you wanted you said, "Give me something to wear." Is it likely you would get what
you want? Is it possible that you might not get anything at all? What is the matter with
your order?
Allow for answers. Prompt for "it is not stated clearly or not specific. "

Fill in 'S 'pecific on board.
When stating your goals it is important to be as concise and detailed as possible.
Reread your stated goal on your paper and see if it is specific. If not, just rewrite your
goal now to make it as specific as possible.
Example:

I want to be successful (too general)
Specific: My goal is to graduate from high school and go on to college.

Building Self-Esteem 42

Now have the participants share their goals, including all of the GOALS points with the
group. Assist them in ensuring that their goals meet the GOALS guidelines. You may
wish to ask a few of the questions listed above in order to engage them in conversation.
Homework
For homework this week, you are going to start working on the goal you spend the last
part of the session working on. Have a look at the goal and decide what you can do in the
next week as your first step towards achieving your goal. Remember that this is sort of a
'mini-goal' and still must follow all of the GOALS guidelines. Take few minutes to
consider your 'mini-goal' and then you can share them with the group.

Allow each participant to share their goal ensuring the include all of the GOALS
guidelines in the process.
We will be keeping track of this goal for this week and will check in with each of you at
the beginning of next session to see how you made out with the goal. Remember, this is
your goal, for something you want, so try to make this first step.

Building Self-Esteem 43

Session Four
Ice Breaker: What's In a Name (adapted from Carell, 1993)
Give all the participants a piece of construction paper and some coloured pen or pencils.
Have them write their first name vertically on the page:
Example:
P
A

T

Use the letters to write words that describe your positive qualities.
Example:
Patient
Accepting
· Trustworthy
Have them share their creation with the group. Display around the room.

Check in
The therapist should refer to the list ofgoals established at the end of last session. Check
with each participant to see how the made out with any attempt to meet the goal. Ensure
to give considerable positive reinforcement for all attempts. Help the participants see the
success in all attempts and identify any barriers that may have complicated their attempt.
Goal Based Decision Making
When you have identified your long and short term goals it is easy to use these goals to
help us make sound decisions. Let's start by making a list of our long and short term
goals. Accept all answers and right on board.
Examples:
• stay out ofjail
• graduate from high school
• get along with my parents
• be successful in a career
Every time that we come to a situation that asks us to make a decision of any kind, it is
important to back and to consider what our goals are. If you think of your goal as your
final destination and each decision as a fork in the road, every decision you make has the
potential to get you off track. Let's consider some scenarios that call for some important
decision-making and see how different decisions will affect our long term objectives.
Take the time to list a scenario on the board and ask the group to determine what the
behaviour choices are in the situation (e.g, go to class or skip class) and discuss what
consequence the choices would have on their goals.
Some possible examples:
• math class
• your upset with your mother

Building Self-Esteem 44
•
•

y ou are invited to a party
your friend asks you to steal a purse for her

Taking responsibility for the effect that your choices will have on your goals is important.
This allows you to take control of your life and can motivate you to work towards a
successful future. It also means that you are responsible when you make choices that lead
you in the wrong direction, away from your end goal. Stop and consider your options
when you make a decision. Make sure you think before you act.
Taking Control (adapted from Burns, 1993, and Siccone & Canfield, 1993)
I am sure that all of you have found yourselves in situations that you felt were out of your
control and despite your best efforts to stay positive, someone would "make you" feel
negative things. Often we fall in to the trap ofblaming other people of things that happen .
to us. Truly, there are times when we are victims in a situation. In all situations though,
when we blame other people for how we feel and we look outside ourselves to make
changes, we feel at a loss because we are not in control of these external factors. We
must then, look inside ourselves, regardless of whom is to blame for the event, in order to
take charge ofhow we feel. We can gain power over our lives if we can take the point of
view that we are responsible for our responses to the outside events.
Write " E => R=> 0" on board.

The 'E' stands for all of the 'events' in our lives.
The 'R' stands for our 'response' to those events.
The '0' stands for the 'outcomes' we experience.
What most people complain about are the outcomes in their lives. For instance, people
complain about being depressed, feeling sad, feeling guilty, feeling angry, being yelled at
by their parents, or how their boyfriend treats them. These are the 'O's, the outcomes,
that have been created as the result of how we respond the events in our lives.
For instance, would it be possible to come in to this classroom where there are many
people and end up feeling lonely? ('Yes'.) Would it be possible to come into this same
room and create a connection, warmth, and friendship? ('Yes'.) It's the same classroom.
The 'E' is the same: there are the same people, with the same gender, on the same day,
same temperature and same circumstances. Yet two people can enter the same room and
produce two very different outcomes for themselves. How is this possible?
It happens because the 'R', the 'response' ofthe two individuals is different. For
example, one person might enter, look around the room and decide that everyone is too
uptight, too judgmental, from the wrong school - and then sit back and observe everyone.
At the end of the day that person leaves saying, "What an unfriendly group. I did not
have any fun. I felt very lonely."

Building Self-Esteem 45
Another person might come in to the same room at the same time, with same group of
people and go up to one person in the group and say, " Hi my name is Sara, what school
do you go to?" to one of the other members of the group. Sarah chose a very different
response to the same event and has now created a very different outcome.
Usually, we hope that the event itself will change. We often say to ourselves "If only . . ."
"If only my father was not as strict", "If only my boyfriend understood me", even "If only
I did not have to go to group today." The fact is that outside events in our lives rarely
change and we do not have the power to make them change. The only thing we have
guaranteed control over in order to change the outcome of a situation is to change our
own behaviour and our own responses. Ifl want a different outcome from the same
event, I am going to have to do something different.
This works for events that have already happened too. Your boyfriend may have already
decided to breakup with you, or you may have already slept in and missed your first class
of the day. At any point you have the control to change your response to the situation. If
your boyfriend broke up with you can tell yourself that "there are more fish in the sea" or
tell yourself that there are many other people in your life that you share a close
relationship with. Often our response takes the form of us imaging negative outcomes,
making us nervous, afraid to be truthful, etc. If you loose your mother's favourite
earrings, (the event) and you start imagining that you will be grounded for weeks (your
response) you are likely to feel anxious and worried. The way you are feeling becomes
the outcome. What do you think is another option on how you can choose to respond to
loosing the earrings? Allow for ideas.
Right, you could own up to it and approach your mother and acknowledge that while you
cannot get her the exact earring you are willing to work and save your money to replace
them with a new pair. This will produce a very different feeling for you, a different
outcome.
So, what " E ~ ~ 0 " means is that if you want change in your life, you need to stop
blaming the events (the circumstances) and other people, and start focusing on your
thoughts, feelings, internal images and actions. That is the only thing you truly have the
power to ·change.
Worksheet #7: Taking Control (Appendix 8)

For the next exercise you need to think about a situation that has occurred over the last
few weeks. Pick one event that you recognized left you feeling poorly about yourself or
the situation. Write down a brief description of the situation on the worksheet in front of
you .
. Now determine what the event, response, and outcome were in this situation and write
those down.

Building Self-Esteem 46
Now pretend that you had a second chance to "take control" over the situation and change
the outcome. What do you have to do? Right, change your response. Decide how you
could have altered your response to the event and what affect this would have had on the
outcome.
The participants may find this to be a difficult task and may require some assistance and
further examples. When the participants have completed the worksheet, work around the
group sharing their scenario and helping them create alternative responses.

If time allows, discuss some other examples and discuss various possibilities for positive
responses.

Taking away the power of another's words
(adapted from Siccone& Canfield, 1993)
Unfortunately, we will never be able to avoid situations and people that will say negative
things. Much of how we respond to these types of events depends on our own self-image
and whether or not we have any doubts about ourselves in whatever area the unkind
words are focused.
Imagine that I walked up to "select participant" and said, "You have four ears". Do you
think this would bother her? Probably not. How many of you think that it doesn't matter
what words I say to "select participant", what matters is what she says to herself after I
stop talking that will affect how she feels about herself.
If she had any doubts about having four ears, her self-doubt will create pain. If someone
calls you stupid and you feel hurt, they did not cause your pain, your own self-doubt
created the pain. On the other had, if you can affirm your own intelligence to yourselfby
saying, "I am an intelligent person, I have lot's of skills" the power of those hurtful words ·
is gone. If she can tell herself that I am wrong, she has changed her response and the
outcome will be very different.
Think about the times that someone has said something that has hurt you. Did you have
any self-doubts about that particular area in your life?
Our self-image, which is often referred to as the same thing as self-esteem, is a function
of many early environmental factors such as parent and family relationships, cultural and
societal prejudices, etc. But by taking responsibility for ourselves and our own responses,
we have the opportunity to break free from all of these influences.
One word of caution about this session: even though we now realize that each of us is
responsible for our own self-doubts and thoughts, it does not make it alright for us to be
insensitive and cruel to others. Why is this the case? Be sure to touch on the fact that not
everyone has learned this skill, and even those that have may find it difficult to ignore
constant cruel words. Also, with the recognition of our responsibility in the outcomes of

Building Self-Esteem 47

our lives we also must recognize our responsibility not to contribute to the negative
events in other people's lives.
Homework
Over the next week, try to become aware of your responses to the events in your life. The
first step to changing our responses is identifying what our current responses are. If you
can, try to change one of your responses and carefully monitor the change in the outcome.
If you aren't ready for this yet, don' t worry, we will be working on more strategies to help
change those responses over the next couple weeks.

Building Self-Esteem 48

Session Five
Ice breaker
Have the participants break up in to pairs and spread out around the room. One member
of the pair (Partner A) will need a pencil or pen and blank piece ofpaper. Have the pair
sit back to back. Give the other member of the pair (Partner B) one of the sheets
containing various simple shapes and drawings (see Appendix 8). Explain to the group
that Partner B is to provide instructions to Partner A on how to draw the picture that is
on Partner B 's sheet ofpaper. Explain that they can not use the names ofshapes, or
objects in their directions. The use of left, right, up , down, straight, line, etc. are
acceptable. Partner A can not ask questions or see the drawing at any time. When
completed reverse roles and then have them return to the regular group seating
arrangements.
Debriefing: This exercise demonstrated how difficult it is to act appropriately when your
perception is distorted in any way. Because you could not see the real picture or hear the
actual shapes to draw, your ability to achieve success was hindered. We are going to
discuss distorted thinking and how to change it throughout today' s sessions.

Check In
Last week's homework was to start identifying situations where your responses to certain
events were leading to a negative outcome. How many of you were able to take note of
one or more of these types of situations. Go around the circle and ask each girl to share
her scenario. Ask them to think about an alternate response that could lead to a more
preferred outcome. Encourage assistance from the group if an individual is struggling
with ideas. Remind participants that the first step to changing our responses is to
recognize our current responses and encourage them to continue to do this process until
they are ready to automatically change their responses.

Distorted Thinking
(adapted from Burns, 1993; Wexler, 1991)
Last week we learned that only your own thoughts, your responses to events can hurt you
and your self-esteem. Sometimes it is very hard to change our thoughts and responses
because when we are very upset our thoughts are often illogical and distorted even though
they seem completely real at the time. When you are feeling lousy about yourself, you are
· always fooling yourself about something. It is as if you are wearing glasses with the
wrong prescription and they are distorting your view of reality.
There are some common types of "twisted thinking" that lead to most bad feelings about
ourselves. Sometimes this is called Negative or Faulty Self-Talk.

Building Self-Esteem 49
Hand out the list ofNegative Self-Talk [see Appendix 10 (adapted from Burns,1993;
Wexler, 1991] and go through it with the group. You may choose to have each
participant read one example.

Worksheet #8: Identifying Negative Self-Talk (Appendix 11)
The next worksheet has a list of examples of common statements that appear in our selftalk. As a group we will read each statement and determine what type of self-talk it
represents. Keep your list of Faulty Self-Talk definitions handy for this exercise. Go
around the circle asking each participant to read one of the self-talk statements out loud.
Allow the group to discuss their ideas as to what negative self-talk each example
demonstrates.
Now take another look at the list of definitions. Pick the three that you feel you can
identify with the most. In what type of situations can you hear yourself using this form of
self-talk? Go around the room and ask everyone to share their response.
Changing your Self-Talk
We discussed last week how you are able to change outcomes of events by changing your
response to the event. How do you think self-talk comes in to play with that concept?
Allow for responses.

Good. You can change your response to an event by changing what you ~ to yourself
when you are faced with a certain event in your life. You need to change your self-talk,
in order to change your negative thoughts about yourself. When you change your selftalk the most important change you will experience is a change in how you feel. When
you say only positive things to yourself, you will feel better about yourself and your selfesteem will improve. It can be difficult to change your own thoughts even if they are
faulty or distorted because they seem so real at the time. It will take some time and
practice to achieve this skill, and we will only start this process in today' s session and
will get back to it next week.
Worksheet #9 :Untwisting those Distorted Thoughts (Appendix 12)
You will need to think of a recent scenario that has left you feeling poorly about yourself.
It can be one that you have used in previous exercises or something completely new.
Complete the steps outlined on the worksheet and we will go over it as a group when you
have finished.
Allow time for completion of worksheet then have the participants share their example
with the group. If they have had difficulty reframing their thoughts to be more positive,
ask for alternative suggestions from the group.

Building Self-Esteem 50
Homework
This week try to catch your own faulty self-talk as much as you can. Take one event and
purposefully change your faulty self-talk in to positive self-talk. If you can manage to do
it more than once even better, but remember all we are really working on this week is
identifYing when we are using faulty logic in the way we talk to ourselves in situations.
Keep one of these incidents in mind for check in next week.

Building Self-Esteem 51
Session Six

Ice breaker

** You will need a fair bit ofspace for this activity. Give every participant one balloon
and a piece ofyarn or string about three feet long. Have everyone blow up their balloon
and tie it closed, then tie one end of the string to the balloon and the other to one of their
ankles.
The object of this game is to imagine that the balloon is your self-esteem and that
everyone else in the room is trying to "stomp on your self-esteem." You need to protect
your self-esteem, your balloon. But be careful because everyone will be trying to burst
everyone else's balloon. If your balloon is popped, you must sit down. The game will
continue until only one balloon is left.
Indicate a starting time and encourage safe and active participation in this game. It is
always a favourite.

Check in
As part of our check in this week we are going to look back to a worksheet we used last
week, "Untwisting our distorted thoughts".
Hand out copies of Worksheet #9 from previous session.
We asked that each of you take note of a situation that you recognized your negative selftalk left you feeling poorly about yourself. Take that situation and complete the
worksheet.
When everyone has completed the worksheet discuss each participant's example and
responses to the worksheet with the group.
Positive Self-Talk

Today's session is going to provide various opportunities to practice positive self -talk.
What do you mean by positive self-talk? Accept all answers.
What are some of the benefits of replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk?
•
•
•
•
•
•

Reduces stress
Reduces feeling undue responsibility for others situations
Reduces depression
Increased confidence
Increased trust in others
Improved relationships

Building Self-Esteem 52
•

Improved Self-esteem

Our self-talk, how we talk to ourselves, creates our feelings. Our beliefs about our
abilities, and who we are, determine how we feel about ourselves. If we can learn to think
positively about ourselves, to respond to events with a positive frame of mind, we will
feel better and experience more satisfying outcomes of events.

Role Play: Voices in the Mirror (adapted from Burns, 1993)
Role plays are a powerful way of modifying our thoughts. This role play is called 'Voices
in the Mirror' because you will get to hear out loud the negative, self-critical thoughts you
have about yourself that make you feel upset and badly about yourself. You get them out
of your head and talk back to them, as if they were actually being said by another person.
It's like looking at yourself in the mirror.
To begin this exercise, I need everyone to make a list of at least five of your own selfcritical, negative thoughts. Your negative self-talk.
Partner up with person next to you for this exercise. Your partner will play the role of
your faulty self-talk. Your partner will read the negative thoughts from your list using the
first person, so "I am a loser" and so on.
You will play the role of your positive self-talk. You will talk to your partner in the same
way you would talk to a close friend who is feeling down about themselves. For
example, you might say, "You're not a loser. You have weaknesses, just like all people,
and you also have a number of strengths to be proud of."
Depending on the group's abilities, the therapists may wish to provide a sample
demonstration of this role play or ask for two volunteers to go in front of the group to
demonstrate. The remaining participants can complete their role play simultaneously
scattered around the room.
How did you find that? Did anyone find it difficult? Address any difficulties or
questions if necessary. This method is intended to make you aware that you may be using
a double standard. The things you say to yourself, you probably would not say to
someone else you cared about. So, don't allow it to be alright to talk to yourself that way
either.
Learning to replace your negative self-talk with more positive statements can be difficult
because your self-talk is often automatic. Do not be discouraged when you catch yourself
engaging in negative self-talk, be pleased with yourself that you have begun to identify
this faulty logic and reverse the process by saying some positive things to yourself about
the situation. As you practice you will identify the negativity more quickly and be more
attuned to replacing your thoughts with positive thoughts until it is the positive self-talk
that comes naturally. Let's do another exercise to help us practice our positive self-talk.

Building Self-Esteem 53

Worksheet #10: Think Positive Thoughts About Yourself (Appendix 13)
The therapist can either read the directions to the group or have them read them to
themselves.
When completed, discuss as a group.

Homework
This week, we want to be sure that you engage in positive self-talk everyday. I want each
of you to write two good things about yourself on this piece of paper. Hand each
participant a small, sturdy piece of construction paper. When you take this paper home,
put it on your pillow or your night stand. Each night, just before bed it will remind you to
say these things to yourself. And don't stop there; try to catch your negative self-talk all
day long and practice replacing it with positive self-talk. Remember, practice makes
perfect. Don't get discouraged if you find it difficult at first, every little bit helps.

Building Self-Esteem 54
Session Seven
Ice breaker (adapted from Carrel, 1993)
Hand out a bowl or bag of wrapped candies. Tell the group to help themselves to as
many as they would like. When they have all received their treats, tell them for each
candy they took they have to say one positive thing about themselves. For instance if a
participant took 4 candies they would have to say 4 positive things about themselves.
Check In
How did everyone make out with their homework this week? Did your note to your self
make it to your pillow? Who was able to practice positive self-talk in a specific scenario?
Allow for discussion. If no one is able to respond to this provide an example ofsituation
and ask the group to give ideas what could be used as positive self-talk.
We are going to continue to work on being more positive about ourselves in difficult
situations throughout today's session.
Card Game
I am going to deal you all a couple cards face down. When it is your tum I want you to
tum one of your cards face up. What you will find on your card is a statement or
description of an event. You need to come up with some positive self-talk that will create
a positive outcome for yourself in the situation. I want you to say your self-talk
confidently and out loud.
To make the cards: photocopy the template(see Appendix 14) provided on a piece of
sturdy paper and cut in to pieces. Laminate if desired. The therapist is to hand out one
or two cards to each participant. Go around the group giving each participant a turn to
complete the activity. Continue to go around the circle until all of the cards are gone.
Encourage the group members to help one another brainstorm possibilities and reinforce
their efforts.
We have talked a lot about changing our responses to the negative things that people
might say or do to us. It is also important that we can accept the fact that people will say
and do nice things for as well without us denying their truthfulness. In the next exercise I
want you to take some time to think about the positive qualities you have and that you
think other people see in you.

Building Self-Esteem 55

Worksheet #11: Positive Things People Can See in Me (Appendix 15)
(adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion, & Moen, 1994)
Hand out worksheet to the participants and give them a wide selection of magazines,
scissors, and glue. Instruct them to make a collage usingpictures and words that they
associate with the positive things people can see in them. Example, a rock = I am .
dependable, etc. Allow time to complete the task, providing positive reinforcement
throughout the process. Share everyone's creation when the task is completed. Display
them around the room.

Homework
Your homework this week won't take a lot of time, but it may not be easy. What you
need to do is to ask one friend or family member what it is they like about you. You can
explain why you are asking if you want but you do not have to. Try accepting the positive
things they say about you as their true perception, and do not debate them. No yeah,
buts ....

Building Self-Esteem 56
Session Eight
Ice breaker & Check in: Chain Gang
The therapist will need to have cut out strips of coloured paper for this activity.

How many of you were able to ask someone what they like about you this week. Good. I
want each of you take five strips of coloured paper and write one thing that person told
you they liked about you on each strip of paper. If you did not get the chance to do the
homework, you can write things you like about yourself. When you have finished writing
we are going to join all of the strips together to make a chain.
Allow time to complete project.

We are going to hang this chain around the room, surrounding ourselves with positive
thoughts. It is very important that we do this is in our lives. We need to surround
ourselves with positive people, people that treat us well, and let us know that they care.
We also need to take the time to focus on the qualities we like in ourselves as well. We
are going to take some time to do that in the next exercise.
Worksheet #12: Things That Make Me Feel Good About Myself (Appendix 16)
One way to remind ourselves about the positive qualities we have is to think about times
we felt proud ourselves. Try to fill out as many of the answers on the worksheet as you
can.
Discuss as a group when the participants are finished writing.

Sometimes we forget about the special gift that we are and may feel disappointed in
ourselves or in our lives. Sometimes when we are unhappy, we are making ourselves
miserable by comparing ourselves to others or how we think we "ought" to be. We create
pain for ourselves by wanting what we don't have and not valuing what we do have. If
we can become aware that we are making ourselves miserable we can stop those
behaviours and replace them with thoughts and behaviours that will change how we feel.
Let's brainstorm some ways that we can make ourselves miserable, unhappy, and sick.
Accept all ideas and write them on the board.
Some possibilities are:
• comparing yourself to a beauty queen
• wishing you were someone else
• not keeping agreements with others
• starting fights
• making out with someone on a date when you don 't want to
• never trying anything new

Building Self-Esteem 57
•

hanging out with people that are always putting each other down

Worksheet #13: How I Make Myself Miserable (Appendix 17)
(adapted from Canfield & Siccone, 1993)
Does everyone have the basic idea? Have a look at this list (refer to board) or come up
with your own list of ways that you make yourself miserable and write them down on the
worksheet.
Allow time to complete worksheet.

Naturally, some amount of sadness is a normal part of living. What we have to take
responsibility for is being responsible for creating outcomes that lead to chronic sadness,
bad thoughts about ourselves, and misery. We can change most of our "miserable"
moments by simply changing our self-talk, our belief about ourselves, and our own
behaviour.
Worksheet #14: How Can I Take Care of Myself (Appendix 18)
Now I want you to flip over your worksheet to the side that reads "How Can I Take Care
of Myself'. Now you have to take responsibility for those things you said you were doing
to make yourself miserable. Become aware ofhow you can nurture yourself, in order to
make yourself feel better.
Allow time to complete worksheet.
Ask each participant to share as many examples as time allows.

If time allows, a brief review of topics from previous weeks may be included here.
Letter of Appreciation
Our last exercise involves real self-appreciation activity. Give each participant a nice
piece ofstationary paper. On this paper, you are going to write a letter to yourself. In
this letter, talk about some of the personal qualities you admire in yourself that we
discussed today and last week. You may want to talk about how you plan to take better
care ofyourselfand your self-image. Be sure to include the concepts that we have
covered over the last few weeks that were most important to you and that you hope you
will continue to carry through in your everyday life. Be sure to indicate the date on the
top of the page because you are going to leave these letters here today and they will be
mailed to you in a few weeks, to remind you about what you have learned in this group
and how good it feels to hear positive things about yourself, from yourself.
Allow time for the participants to write their letter.

Building Self-Esteem 58

Be sure to hand out a symbol of recognition of each participant's completion of the
program (e.g., certificate). Therapist may choose to include a brief note to each
participant indicating the strengths they have observed and what they have enjoyed about
working with the participants.

Building Self-Esteem 59

Appendix 2: Worksheet 1

How .Much Do you Know About Self-Esteem
T

F

1. How you feel about yourself affects everything you do in life.

T

F

2. You are one of a kind.

T

F

3. People like people with confidence.

T

F

4. Most people like themselves.

T

F

5. lfyou like yourself, others will like you too.

T

F

6. You should focus on your strengths not your faults.

T

F

7. It is alright to be wrong sometimes.

T

F

8. If you believe in your own worth, you will not pretend for others.

T

F

9. How others feel about us does not influence how we see ourselves.

T

F

10. People can like themselves even if they think others do not.

T

F

11. Not everyone will like you.

T

F

12. People get lower grades just because they are not very smart.

T

F

13. It does not take perfection to make you worthwhile.

T

F

14. Some people don't try because they are afraid of failure.

T

F

15. People try hard to avoid making mistakes but no one succeeds.

T

F

16. Never forgetting your mistakes is not helpful.

T

F

17. You're special because you are unique.

Adapted from Huggins, Wood Mannion, & Moen, 1994, p. 573

Building Self-Esteem 60

Appendix 3: Worksheet #2
Your Areas of High and Low Self-Esteem
Directions:
Read each statement below and decide how much it describes you. In making your
decision, compare yourself with the majority of kids your own age. Write a number 0-5
to describe how much the statement describes you. A '0' would mean the statement does
not relate to you at all and a '5' would mean the statement describes you perfectly.

I an1 a person who ...
1.
2.

3.

4.
5.
6.
7.

Likes myself.
Is dependable.
Isn't usually bothered by things.
Feels good about myself.
Has a pretty good life.

10.

Is good at several things.
Is able to things as well as most people.
Has good ideas about somethings.
Does not easily get discouraged by what I am doing.
Has a clear picture of myself and my future.

11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

People find attractive.
Is not too tall or too short or too tall or too fat.
Would not change a lot about my appearance.
Does not worry about my health.
Is satisfied with my clothing and hairstyle.

16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

Is fun to be around.
Is as popular as most people.
Can make friends easily.
Feels comfortable in groups of people.
Tries to be what other people expect me to be not what I am.

21.
22.
23.
24.
25 .

Can learn about as quickly as other people can.
Remembers things I hear in class most of the time.
Can easily concentrate in class.
Does not get anxious when called on in class.
Feels confident when I write a test.

8.
9.

Adapted from Huggins, Wood Mannion, & Moen, 1994

Building Self-Esteem 61
~

4: Worksheet #3

Measuring Your Own Success
Directions:
Many different people in your life will have different ideas about what you should
and should not be doing to successful. Think about the different behaviours people want
from you and write them in the boxes below.
~ would be successful in

he eyes of my parents if
~

would be successful in
!the eyes of my friends if

~ would be successful in

he eyes of my teachers if
~

While it is important to pay attention to what the adults in your life and society would like
you to do, it's also important to do things just for you that would help you respect
yourself
Try to think of ONE THING you could do that would increase your respect for

yourself and make you feel successful in your own eyes.
I would be successful in my own eyes if I

One way you could do this:

I could do this by:

See or imagine yourself doing this. How would you feel?

Adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion, & Moen, 1994, p. 635

Building Self-Esteem 62

Appendix 5: Worksheet #4

Values ranking
Directions: Rank the qualities or values listed below in order of importance to you.
Number 1 would be the MOST IMPORT ANT and number 28 would be the LEAST
IMPORTANT. Write the quality on the line next to its corresponding number. Be sure
to rank ALL the values listed.
VALUES
Be a good friend
Be popular
Be a leader
Have a sense ofhumour
Give back my community
Have an education
Make a lot of money
Be intelligent
Get married
Be in good shape
Be attractive
Have a pet
Have a close relationship

Wear nice clothes
Have a nice car
Get a good job
Be independent
Be close to my Family
Have a strong faith
Do what is morally right
Have children
Work with children
Be a good athlete
Have enough money to feel secure
Communicate well
Be in love

1________________________

15 __________~
16______________________
17 _____________________
18 ______________________
19______________________

2________________________
3________________________
4________________________

~
6______________________
_
7________________________
8________________________
9_______________________
10_____________________

11 _______________________
12________________________
13 _____________________
14

-----------------------

20______________________

21 _______________________
22______________________
23 _______________________
24______________________
25 ______________________
26________________________
27______________________
28 ______________________

Building Self-Esteem 63

Appendix 6: Worksheet #5

Feature Presentation

five years after that

Building Self-Esteem 64

Appendix 7: Worksheet #6

Setting GOALS
GOAL

Coal - Is it something that you really want?

Observable- How will you know when you have achieved it?

Achievable - Is it something that you can manage? Is it possible?

length of time - When will you accomplish it?

!pecific - What specifically do you want to achieve?

'Mini-goal' for the week:

Building Self-Esteem 65

Appendix 8: Worksheet #7

Taking Control
E =>R=> 0
Describe the situation:

lvent:

Actual Desponse:

Outcome:

When you take control
lvent:

New Desponse:

Outcome:

Building Self-Esteem 66

Appendix 9: Icebreaker shapes

Building Self-Esteem 67

Building Self-Esteem 68

Building Self-Esteem 69

Building Self-Esteem 70

Building Self-Esteem 71

Appendix 10

Negative Self-Talk

Black and White:

The tendency to look at things in an all or nothing categories.
"Cool kids wear these; if you don't, you're a loser"
"You are either with me or against me"

Minimizing:

You insist your accomplishments and positive attributes don't
count. You downplay your achievements.
"I did OK, but so did everyone else."
"The staff takes care of me just because it is their job."

Mind reading

You assume that other people think something of you without
checking it out. You assume other people are reacting negative to
you.
"I know she hates me ... she gave me dirty look."

Fortune telling

You predict that things will always turn out badly.
"Ifl go out with him, I will just mess it u."

Blaming

You blame yourself and others unfairly.
"It's my fault he yelled at me"

Emotional reasoning The tendency to assume that if you feel a certain way about
yourself it must be true. You reason from how you feel.
"I feel like an idiot, so I must be one." ·

Down-putting

You put yourself down for having one problem or making one
mistake.
"I'm in counseling, I must be a bad kid"

Mental Filter

You dwell on the negatives and ignore the positives.

Building Self-Esteem 72

Appendix 11: Worksheet #8

Identifying Negative Self Talk
Directions: Look at the self-talk examples listed below. Identify what type of Faulty
Self-Talk they are an example of. Note: Some fit in to more than one category.

I'm a born loser.

I'll never find a job.

I am letting my family down.

You can't trust anyone over 30.

She is avoiding me ... she must be pretty mad at me. ·

Since I feel guilty, I must have done something wrong.

I didn't make the team. I am not any good at anything.

When I tell my dad what happened he is going to kill me!

Building Self-Esteem 73

· Appendix 12:Worksheet #9

Untwisting Those Distorted Thoughts
The Steps to Changing How you Talk to Yourself
Description of Situation:

What negative thoughts did you say to yourself:

What form of Negative Self-Talk did you use:

What are some more positive thoughts that would make you feel better?

Building Self-Esteem 74
Appendix 13: Worksheet #10

Think Positive Thoughts About Yourself
Directions: You can raise your self-esteem by refusing to think negative thoughts about
yourself. For every negative thought you get, fight back with a positive thought! Let's
imagine you have negative thoughts about yourself on the left hand column below. What
positive thoughts could you say to yourself instead.
Negative Thoughts

Positive Thoughts That You Could Say
To Yoursclflnstcad

As you are walking down the hall at ·
school, you pass a group of kids and
they burst out laughing.
You immediately tell yourself they're
laughing at you.
You hear that a classmate doesn't
like you. It ruins your day and makes
you feel worthless. You tell yourself
you need to have everyone like you.
You get a lower grade than you expected. You tell yourself you're
dumb.
Your boyfriend has not returned your
phone calls all day. You tell yourself
he must not be interested in you anymore.
You try to show your mom the new
shirt you just bought with your own
money. She nods and quickly walks
away. You tell yourself that she does
not care about you or what you do
Adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion, & Moen, 1994, p. 625

Building Self-Esteem 75

Appendix 14: Card game

You walk in to the
corner store and
the store clerk
follows you as
you walk down
the snack food
aisle.

You try to get
your learner's
license but
get
one too may
wrong on
identifying the
road signs.

You ask your best
friend to
meet you after
schooL She
says, "No, I
am walking home
with Jennifer."

You show one of
your friends
a picture ofyour
boyfriend and she
responds, "He
sure has big ears,
doesn't he?"

When you return
home after being
out with a friend,
your Mom
immediately yells·
at you for being
late.

It is your birthday
and by the end
ofthird block
no one has
wished you
"Happy
Birthday"
yet.

Building Self-Esteem 76

You are the last
one picked for
a team in gym.

You walk by
a group ofpeople
and they start
laughing.

You arrive at
a party and
realize that
you are dressed
more formally
than everyone
else.

Your Dad sees
you crying after an
argument with
a friend. He says,
"Well, I have
been telling you they
are no good anyway."

Your boss at
Burger King
calls you in
to his office and
says, "I need
to talk
to you."

You hear about
a birthday party
for one
ofyour classmates
that you
were not invited
to.

You think you
hear your name
whispered in
class and two
girls are whispering
to each other a
few rows back.

You loose
. a necklace
that you borrowed
from your
mother.

It is the first
day of classes
at a new school.

Building Self-Esteem 77

Appendix 15: Worksheet #11

PO!ITIYI nDNC! PIOPll ~ N !II Dl Ml

Building Self-Esteem 78

Appendix 16: Worksheet #12

Directions: Each of the statements below can be used to remember a time
that you were proud of yourself. Answer all of the ones you can.
1. A new skill that I've learned:

2. A difficult task that I've completed:

3. Something I've made all by myself:

4. A goal I've achieved:

5. A bad habit I've overcome:

6. Something I've done for a friend:

7. Someone I made laugh:

Adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion & Moen, 1994, p. 619

Building Self-Esteem 79

Appendix 17: Worksheet #13

IIOW I MAD MYtllt MltiU8ll
How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

How I make myself miserable:

Adapted from Huggins, Wood Manion & Moen, 1994, p. 619

Building Self-Esteem 80

Appendix 18: Worksheet #14

IIOW I ON TAD ODI OJ MY!IlJ
How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

How I can take care of myself:

Building Self-Esteem 81
Appendix 19
References for Group Curriculum

Burns, D. (1993). Ten days to self-esteem. New York: Quill William Morton.
Canfield, J., & Siccone, F. (1993). 101 Ways to develop student self-esteem and
responsibility: The teacher as coach. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Carrell, S. (1993). Group exercises for adolescents: A manual for therapists. Newbury
Park, CA: Sage Publications.
Clark, A., Clemes, H, & Bean, R. (1980). How to raise teenager's self esteem. Los
Angeles: Price Stem Sloan.
Edwards, P. (1990). Self-esteem and adolescent women. Ottawa: Canadian Teacher's
Federation, Capella Projects.
Hewitt, J. (1998). The myth of self-esteem: Finding happiness and solving problems in
America. New York: St. Martins Press.
Huggins, P., Wood Manion, D., & Moen, L. (1994). Building self-esteem in the
classroom: Intermediate version. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
McKay, M. & Planning, P. (2000). Self-esteem (3rd ed.). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger
Publication.
Pipher, M. (1994). Reviving Ophelia: Saving the selves of adolescent girls. New York:
Ballantine Books.
Siccone, F. & Canfield, J. (1993). 101 Ways to develop student self-esteem and
responsibility: The power to succeed and beyond. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn
&Bacon.

Building Self-Esteem 82
Wexler, D. (1991). The Prism workbook: A program for innovative self-management.
New York: W.W. Norton.