Man of Myste ry (Continued from page 3)

intensity in his eyes and the
conviction with which he
uttered every syllable. | now
understood how he walked
so fast; the man is a veritable
powerhouse of kinetic ener-
Oy.

“Where are you from, Jose?”
| asked.

“You know Brazil?”

“Yes. Yes, of course | do,
Jose.” | wondered what sort
of fool he took me for.

His dark eyes fixed upon
mine and he ‘continued:
“Brazil is a beautiful country.
It's always hot, not freezing
like Prince George is. Its
beaches are wonderful, the
scenery is unsurpassed.”
“What about the women,
Jose?”

He grinned widely. “Are you
kidding me? Brazil has some
of the most beautiful women
in the world.”

| had to ask: “Why’d you
decide to leave?”

“Where?” he asked.

Now it was my turn to, take
him for a fool. “Brazil,” | said.
“I'm not from Brazil”

Now | was just confused and
annoyed. “So, where are you
from?”

“You know Malta?”

It has been. a year since | first
met Jose; | am still confused,
but | am no longer annoyed.
And now, dear reader, | can
confidently share with you
information concerning
Jose’s geographic origin: he
is not from Malta; he is not
from Brazil. Nor is he from
Portugal, Burkina Faso,
Chile, Ethiopia, Jamaica,
Guatemala, Fiji or Argentina.
The other day, some new
information came to light. |
caught him unawares as he
chastised a young woman in
the hallway. “You deny my
existence!” he cried. “You
deny my existence as a citi-
zen of Goa!”

Finally, everything made
sense. If Jose were a citizen

Over The Ed

of Goa, a state of India that
was ruled by the Portuguese
for over 450 years, it would
explain so much: his name,
his accent, and his mixed
and indiscernible ethnicity. |
asked him if he was from
Goa. He told me of its beau-
ty, of its salubrious climate, of
its wonderful beaches and its
incomparable women. He
also told me that that is not
where he’s from.

Forget the strange circum-
stances of Marylin’s death;
forget about whether or not
God exists, or if Elvis still
walks the earth. These mys-
teries are chickenfeed com-
pared to the mystery that is
Jose Guterres. We know not
his weight, nor do we know
his country of origin or the
size of his genitals. And Jose
himself is blissfully ignorant
of the component parts of his
ethnicity. “The blood of the
entire world flows through my
veins,” he will tell you-and this
time he will not be joking.
The Director at Large posi-
tion is one of general and
unspecified duties-the ‘at
large’ signifies ‘in general?’
But as any linguist will tell
you, ‘at large’ has another
meaning, that of ‘on the

ge appreciates every stu-

loose. With this in mind, tell
me, is there anyone better
suited to fill the position of
Director at Large than Jose
Guterres? For he is truly on
the loose. He is a man from
nowhere and everywhere at
the same time, a man whose
ethnicity transcends borders.
Even his political inclinations
are hard to pin down. | have
heard representatives of both
the extreme left and right
wings embrace him as their
own. But, truth be told,
Jose’s politics emanate from

neither end of that jive-ass |

political spectrum but from

the beatings of his heart and |

the workings of his con-
science.

Like the Colonel’s Secret
Recipe, the mystery of Jose

Guterres will probably never

be Known. But hell, this is no
time to mourn that which we
do not know. Let us cele-
brate that which we do. He is

not from Malta; he is not from §

Brazil... Jose Guterres is a
citizen of the world-he

belongs to ail of us.

And he is our new Director at
Large.
rejoice.

For that, let us

ver T P
Mentor pictures from page 2...

| ™
Zelda Tolmie (right) and Tara Marsden (left) smile for pictures
hile they take a break from their orientation.
eeeee

Kristy Barton (left) and Daisy-Mae Tolmie (right) show how
much enthusiasm they have.

Art in the
Garden

Art in the Garden

October 31st & November 1st
Wintergarden

11am-3pm

Where does all that good food on the Reciprocity Food shelf
come from on Friday afternoons?? It comes from St. Vincent
de Paul (SVP)-a community organization that operates a soup
kitchen and arranges food boxes for low income and homeless
people in Prince George. For over two years their extra food
has been coming to you, the hungry students of UNBC. To
show our thanks the students of UNBC will be creating a ban-
ner that will be hung in SVP’s new building. Donations towards
their building fund will also be collected

Come out and show your support for St. Vincent de Paul!
The Reciprocity Food Shelf isa pgpirg student volunteer ini-
tiative.

dents opinion, and will print letters to the editor that are submitted.
Please drop off you submission at our office or e-mail at.over-the-

edge @ unbc.ca.