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During a debate on the fun-
damental nature of the uni-
verse, you come to the fright-
ening conclusion that all
things are interconnected by
the ‘god particle’, which
means naturally, that the
whole universe is united into
a large, sweaty mass of fin-
ger in bum.

Taurus

It'S not your fault that Aries
willed god out of existence in
a fit of logic.

Gemini

Because you are a Gemini,
you are quite prone to having
multiple personalities, and
your personality will split
repeatedly this week. So
when you go into your
exams, lets hope that
‘Lauren’ the autistic three-
year old isn’t the one that
comes out. Most professors
deduct marks when you write
in wax crayon.

Cancer

Your social life will suffer
because you are studying all
this week. At least it
would...if you had a social
life, or some studying to do...

Leo

You will succumb to the urge
to contribute to society this
week, and your submissions
for Over the Edge will be
greatly appreciated.

You will be lucky this week,
so lucky in fact that you will
the lottery, strangely enough
without buying a ticket. You
will fill your home with opu-
lent luxuries, and live the
good life.

Libra

You will decide to become a
professional thief, and you'll
take home a haul of opulent
luxuries on your very first
job. Boy are you lucky.

Scorpio

This week you will aspire to
become a Ninja. Movies will
be rented, but no L33T skills
will be attained. You can’t fly
or learn martial arts even if
you watch ‘Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon’ 57 times.

Sagittarius

For some reason, all the
copies of ‘Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon’ are out. You
accidentally pick up
‘Crouching mongoose, hid-
den chutney ferret’. You are
appalled.

Aquarius
You have crabs.

Capricorn
So do you.

Pisces

Exams are getting to you,
your brain just fell to pisces.
You hate puns too.

Disclaimer:

All Horoscopes provided by
Over The Edge are completely
fictional, and if you believe
them you are so stupid you
require a safety helmet.