Welcome to the Prince George Refugee Concentration Camp! We hope that your visit with us at this facility will be enjoyable and informative. This Information Guide has been prepared so that you may understand the background and purpose of this pioneer- ing concentration camp of which Prince George is so rightly proud. The building you see before you was built in 1955 as the Prince George Gaol. It was later rechristened with the euphemism, “Prince George Regional Correctional Centre”. This somewhat ugly building overlooks the scenic confluence of the Nechako and Fraser Rivers and the City of Prince George. Since it was built it has undergone extensive renovations and a rebuilding as a result of a riot in 1982. The present “Correctional Centre” is the strange, angu- lar, pastel-coloured building on your right. This new build- ing was constructed in the mid-nineties after the old building failed to meet United Nations standards for prisons. Since Canada is a member of NATO, the standards of the United Nations no longer apply here. In any case, stan- dards for prisoners would be irrelevant as the present guests have been convicted of no crimes and are not, therefore, prisoners in the strict sense of the word. Although this structure lacks toilets in individual cells and other amenities needed by Canadians, it is found to be adequate for Chinese who are, as we ail know, accus- tomed to overcrowding and unsanitary conditions. We are a humanitarian people and we want our guests to feel at home. This condemned facility was reopened at great expense at the behest of the Government of the United States which feared that these refugees might find their way to New York and employment. Through a complex arrange- ment our federal and provin- cial governments are sharing the expense of incarcerating these refugees, thus assuring that the taxpayers can cover the costs twice. (The United States has promised to pay a portion of the cost just after they take care of their United Nations arrears.) The Canadian Government has incarcerated these refugees in an attempt to deter others from Asia who have been exposed to American television, their Constitution, the poetry of Emma Lazarus (“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,” etc.) and other such nefarious influences. A benefit for Prince George is a number of jobs for guards who might otherwise dawdle their lives away in useful employment. As well, a num- ber of unemployables have found positions as administra- tors in the hierarchy of drones required to operate such an undertaking. It has been proposed that the deft, idle hands of the Chinese might be put to work by establishing a maquiladora here and luring such corpo- rate citizens as Nike to utilise the guests’ skills in assembly work. With the taxpayers pay- ing for food and lodging we could offer corporations wage rates competitive —_ with Vietnam or Malaysia. It seems only fair that our unin- vited guests should share in the expense of their accom- modations. Some have suggested that the razor wire you see atop the perimeter fence is a bit sinister but we would remind our visitors that we had some ungrateful guests wander in the spring of 2000. One of these wanderers was later found begging for food, thus taking resources needed by our own homeless and hun- gry citizens. We have a responsibility to our own peo- ple to protect them from unfair competition. . You see here an extreme level of security involved in the housing of a few score rel- atively harmless immigrants. who are not presumed to be violent, nor are they per- ceived’ as any threat to the population of Canada. Visitors often ask us why this security is necessary. One answer is that we must make our guests serve as a deter- rent to others who take the United Nations guarantees for refugees too _ seriously. Another answer lies in the value of this facility in training and preparation for the possi- ble future need for concentra- tion camps in Canada. Our leaders fear that the adjust- ments which we must make to become globally competi- tive may raise a level of dis- content that would require the existence of facilities to hold and process large numbers of citizens for indefinite periods. With mass trials, an expand- ed military and institutions like P.G.R.C.C. our leaders will. be able to maintain Order in the face of citizen discontent. You may see the day when this institution will be rechris- tened The Prince George Radical Concentration Camp. An order has been placed for the new sign. Please enjoy your stay. Use the litter barrels provided. P.G.R.C.C. Committee Volunteer OTE Letter Policy : You give it to-us, incude your name, and con- tact information and, assuming we don’t think it will get us shut down, we print it. Simple eh? phone 960-5633 fax 960-5407 email over-the-edge @ unbc.ca Libra People can be stupid some- times, but that is no reason to be tolerant. The next time you encounter a stupid per- son just give them a smack upside the head. That should fix ‘em. The depth of your thoughts and the scope of your imagi- nation astound those around you (until they realize that your words of wisdom are coming from the slips inside the fortune cookies that came with dinner). Taurus Have fun now while you still have the time. The position of Jupiter’s third moon indi- cates that your semester will be hard to start off with and then get harder and harder until you are ready to scream from frustration, and then around the 16th of December you will finally relax. Scorpio Sharpen your pencils and get out your pens. Saturn is in the fifth house which means you will be working your butt -off for the next ten years. Sagittarius Find time to spend shopping this week. You are sure to find a great shoe sale featur- ing those hot pink, snake skin loafers that you’ve always wanted. And plus you will still have some money left to spend. Gemini Don’t worry about the future for today. It will just make you want to cry if you start to think about paying back all those student loans that you took out. Capricorn The nasty homework mon- ster hasn't found you yet, but hiding in the closet isn’t the answer. You need to confront your fear of doing anything that resembles actual work and crack the books this year. Cancer If you are considering making a large payment in the near future it is advisable that you put it off for as long as possi- ble. The lines won't grow any shorter for at least a couple weeks. Aquarious Some day in the near future you will find that perfect someone. Whether it is on the bus or in your worst class, you will know it when you spot whomever it is. Leo Venus blesses a good har- vest in the fall. The next two weeks will be the best time to sow your seeds of hope. Pisces Don’t go out tonight. It just _ isn’t your night to shine. | really mean it. It will be a bad experience all round if you don’t listen. Virgo Don’t forget to keep your mind open and free. The fresh air flowing through your brain will help to clean out the cobwebs that have accu- mulated over the summer.