Over the Edge + March, 30 2011 features 5 JWoww’s How to be a Lady Jersey Shore style for today’s young women VERONIKA KOLLBRAND FEATURES EDITOR The Rules According to JWoww: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb is self-help literature for young women at its finest. This book is the most refreshing collection of dating advice I’ve come across in a while. Reading it is like having an older sister or best friend pass on everything she’s learned through her messiest relationships, without making you feel desperate or pathetic because you're reading a book about how to get a boyfriend. That’s because it’s essentially a book about how to improve yourself, regardless of whether you want a guy or not. Along with advice on the types of guys that are out there and how to avoid the ones that aren’t worth it, she gives her own tips on how to GTL (gym, tan, laundry), cook, be in a relationship, and breakup all with a no-bullshit attitude. This book is entertaining regardless if you’re single and wish you weren't, single and glad you are, in a great relationship, in a shitty relationship, or not thinking in terms of dating at all. The writing style is fun and light and you can get through it easily in one sitting. | know what you’re thinking. We’re so desperate for dating advice that we’re looking to the girl who had the worst boyfriend drama on the show besides Sammi and Ronnie? The girl who cheated on her boyfriend with Pauly D the first day in the house? The girl whose boyfriend ditched her dogs and left them to die when she dumped him? Yes, that girl. Because you really don’t know how to keep good things in your life until you’ve dealt with some of the bad. Plus with all the required reading we all have to do we deserve a little downtime once in a while to appreciate the trashier things in life! The whole point isn’t to be the definition of someone else’s perfect girlfriend, but to learn to take life and love a Jwoww’s advice on how to land a decent guy seems little less seriously. slightly counterproductive to the style of the independent and confident woman movement that you can find in Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov, but it makes sense. Jwoww says that you must be able to cook well, take care of him when he’s sick and clean his house for him once ina while. However, she knows that there’s a delicate balance between taking care of a man and having him walk all over you. She knows that you need to let your guy have his own nights out with the guys, keep the mystery there and most of all keep the sex up to par. She also knows that the first half of a healthy relationship is a healthy image of yourself, which involves eating right, exercising and paying attention to your appearance. She’s not afraid to tell it like it is - old school style with a modern twist. Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was the first member of the bunch to dive into the literary scene with a book released last November called Here’s the Situation which promised to be “A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore.” The cover image? Mike with a lopsided grin throwing up the deuces and baring his six-pack, obviously! | caught the Jersey Shore bandwagon a little late in the game but I'll be sure to check out that one next! How to Tell if You're Dating a Cheater Plenty of Fish, Part Ill VERONKIA KOLLBRAND FEATURES EDITOR If you've been following me along in the online dating journey that is Plenty of Fish, you’ve probably realized that you should never ever actually date anyone you meet on that website. You say Plenty of Fish, | say Plenty of Fuckheads. If you haven’t learned your lesson or need a reminder, here are some tell- tale signs you’re your new POF boyfriend or girlfriend has something on the side. ee = = . . : 10. Early in the relationship, she offers up details of a “psycho ex-boyfriend” that thinks they’re still dating and continues to stalk her and message her. Not only does this create a little jealousy which sparks interest, but it also sets you up to doubt this guy when he inevitably figures out what’s up and contacts you. 9. He is vague about details of his life, like where he works or hangs out. He doesn’t want you to show up unannounced at the weekly volleyball game he plays. Why? His other girlfriend is on the team too and things could get awkward if you showed up to cheer him on. CHEATING 8. She leaves your house suspiciously early for work or class. Despite popular belief, it does not take 4 hours to get ready for the day, no matter how high maintenance you are. This is especially disconcerting if you’re dating a guy because their routine is a little less time-consuming. ‘The moral of the story is don’t cheat or your house will be owned 6. He says he owns a vehicle, but he rarely drives it. He has it one day and not the next and always has some random reason for it. This is a classic sign of a couple sharing a car. 5. She does everything right. If she never gets mad at you or treats you like gold all the time, it’s probably because she has another guy to take all her frustration out on elsewhere. If it seems too good to be true, it almost always is. 7. Things he tells you seem slightly off, but all reasonable enough that they can be explained. This is a sign of a compulsive liar that isn’t great at what they do. No matter how crazy you feel, press for details. Donut let your wife find oul where your pirUtiemd Lives, vt borrow your tuck — shore-tested secreta on faericinag a rritmk epuy, staying fresh to dean and kicking the competition to the curb by jenni farley with shery bark ONLINE SOURCE Finally a book about dating by a woman who doesn't hate men! 4. You haven't met any of her friends or family and you don’t go out much together. Chances are she’s not giving you a chance to get to know them because they think she’s still with someone else, which she is. 3. He contrives some excuse for you to never visit his house. His sick grandparent is probably not living with him, nor is he doing renovations or preparing for a move. He just lives with his girlfriend and knows as soon as you walk in the door and see all the absurdly cute floral print accent pillows he’s done. 2. She texts constantly when you're together. If this person is dating you and you’re as awesome as you think you are, she should be head over heels for you. The only other person that could be so important that she needs to text is a parent... or a boyfriend wondering why she’s out until 2am. 1. His Facebook account seems off. He doesn’t have more than 100 friends, who ONLINESOURCE Tarely comment on anything or write on his wall. The ones that do live out of town. He only has a few photos, most of which have only him in them. Two Facebook accounts is a classic but sleazy way to keep two girls from finding out about each other. There are 3 things | suggest doing when starting a new relationship: hire a private detective, go through their phone/ computer, and take them to a clinic to get tested.