. By Madame Mayhem

x My guru, Shalom the Erudite Llama, predicted the ar-

rival of this a long time ago: Hell, I think we all knew it 1 1 You Say Party! We Say Die! XXXX Paper Bag
was coming. 2 27. ~=Zeus _ Say Us Arts & Crafts
Se ee 3 19 Jason Collett Rat a Tat Tat Arts & Crafts
4 28 Yukon Blonde Yukon Blonde Bumstead
ARIES 5 re Fan Death A Coin For The Well Last Gang
ii Aries, you will be one ofthe lucky ones that 6 re Owen Pallett Heartland For Great Justice
e horribly before the zombies even get to you in an F Z Se
explosion of zombie bits. The answer is yes, those ex- 7 4 The Zolas Tic Toc Tic Lotus Child
plosives work on zombies. 8 Zo Martha And The Muffins Delicate Muffin Music
ie map 9 22 + Kate Maki Two Song Wedding Confusion Unlimited
if bers; 25 arms, 13 legs, and 5 heads. % ame” .
a aie. 10 re Said The Whale Islands Disappear - Hidden Pony
TAURUS 11 re Woodpigeon Die Stadt Muzikanten Boompa
: Always check the sicko’ of your getaway car. Of 42 15 The Pinecones Sa ge Just Friends
- course, now you won’t do it because I told you to. 43 re Hawksley Workhian Meat isaiiona
~ Lucky numibers: 87, 32, 9. ie
5 y — 14 17 +The Polymorphines Transistor Sister Get Bent
f iliteven tinea Wy pietdiotoc anmateo tle 15 -- D.O.A. Kings Of Punk, Hockey and Beer Sudden Death
~ the bus to get out of town a zombie will emerge from 16 = Dum Dum Girls Dum Dum Girls Sub Pop
- the bus and eat your brains. Guess you shouldn’t take 17 es Pavement Quarantine The Past Matador
a a, 18 re Four Tet There Is Love In You Domino
~r 1g. Se The Morning Benders Big Echo Rough Trade
HY 4. CANCER 20 6 Happy Birthday Happy Birthday Sub Pop
a Pa ae Sata ie nes 21 -- Gorillaz Plastic Beach Virgin |
Egeeyinumbérs: You' fl need:l6 24sto bartiostar 22 12 Gil Scott-Heron I'm New Here XL Recordings
- your windows. 23 13 Pantha Du Prince Black Noise Rough Trade
an 24 re Beach House Teen Dream Sub Pop
While attempting to blend in with the zombies worked 25 re OK Go Of The Blue Colour Of The Sky EMI
on Shaun of the Dead, it doesn’t in life. It’s not your 26 re Charlotte Gainsbourg IRM Because
- acting skills, the zombies can smell you. a7 re Spoon Transference Merge
~ Lucky numbers: 12, 34, 45. ;
ee lagen Zo ='S Flight Of The Conchords | Told You | Was Freaky Sub Pop
VIRGO = re The Avett Brothers 2 and Love and You Columbia
- Apparently zombification (like lycanthropy) is an STD. re The xx Young Turks

_ Or rather, it is if they bite you during the act which they
~ no doubt will because you like that sort of thing.
Lucky numbers: 23, 98, 71.

LIBRA
Just because they look like children doesn’t mean that
they children.
Lucky numbers: .4, 65, 48.

SCORPIO
You may survive the apocalypse Scorpio, if you fight
: your way through hard enough and behave brutally
~ enough. If you do so. then following the apocalypse you
can expect legal action.
Lucky numbers: 47, 92, .0.

SAGITARIUS
You decide that the best thing to do in this situation is.
to simply give in and bow before your zombie masters.
They still eat your brains though; these are. zombies
we're talking about after all.
Lucky numbers: 8, 27, 61.

CAPRICORN
Because you read these horoscopes (thank you Capri-
com!) you will know that the zombie apocalypse is
coming and you will have time to lay down supplies.
e The question now is-do you have the heart to tum away

@ 3 & in the way. It's bureaucratic in nature.
4 the people at your door who haven’t turned zombie... : Hugh Curtis
S yet? &

~~ Lucky numbers: 6 months supplies for one person, 4 :

a _ people at your door, 1 of which looks... injured. :

AQUARIUS :

. While you are rationally explaining why zombies can- e

et not exist one comes up and eats your brain. Yes Aquar- ES

_ ius, your beautiful, wonderful, brain. |

E Lucky numbers: Pah, lucky numbers? Horoscopes?

_ Nonsense. .

4 >. PISCES 2

_ All of yout friends ‘and family will be brutally mur- a

E dered in front of your eyes and you will, somehow, sur-

Cornere
What do you think does

Organizes events, authorizes clubs, and gets.

| answering questions about services

d on Campus

That is a good question. Organizes activities
for the undergraduate society.
Geoff Dickieson

A whole lot'of nothing but throwing parties.
Stephanie Haddad

Um, well, I know it's really good for

and stuff. They can tell you about
health benefits with their plan.
Robyn Klassen

Other than hosting clubs, offering stu-
dents work, and CFUR?
Galen Seilis