1 2 funnies November 3, 2010 + Over the Edge Life Lessons from Fergie Ferg Who knew someone famous for their abs could hold so much insight into female empowerment? ECATERIA CIUGUREANU FEATURES EDITOR 1. My body staying vicious, | be up in the gym just working on my fitness — Exercise is an important part a healthy lifestyle 2. | ain’t trying to round up drama, little mama | don’t wanna take your man — Stealing other women’s love interests is bad conduct 3. Wear them gold and diamonds rings, all them things don’t mean a thing — Materialistic pleasures are not what matters in life 4. The drinks start pouring and my speech start slurring, everybody start looking real good — The effects of alcohol are extremely dangerous 5. You can look but you can’t touch it, if you touch it I'ma start some drama —A woman with a self-esteem would never let a man touch her in a disrespectful manner 6. You could see me, you can’t squeeze me, | ain’t easy, | ain’t sleazy — Refer to the explanation above 7. Paparazzi put my business in the news and I’m like get up out my face ‘fore | turn around and spray your a** with mace ONLINE SOURCE — Privacy is something that must be respected 8. Big girls don’t cry — A feminist message speaking out against female oppression and the social belief of women needing men in their life. 9. I’m so three thousand and eight you so two thousand and late — One must always strive for improvement through continuous education and challenging oneself 10. | wonder if | take you home would you still be in love, baby - Women must be weary of risky sexual behaviour Horoscopes Ps parts Mite Ucar In ferasting «+ and yousay you've had this infection for fang 2 Sust (00 million feors... Liston, = clond frow any other planets with this fFrobiem... 2S that bat? What does the future have in store for you? S Aries You need to stay away from the party scene until after Christmas. Partying can be fun, but it is time to take a break and focus on making plans for your future. Sagittarius No matter how hard you try, someone who isn’t interested in you will never change. Move on and look for that special someone to reciprocate those feelings. Things will look up around the end of the month. Your love life will be touch and go until the 17". If you are not sure about someone you are interested in, take it easy and everything will work out in the end. Capricorn You are a hard worker and it pays off. Catching up on all those readings and being prepared for your midterms and finals is the course you need to take. Being ready and working hard is always good, but don’t forget to have some fun! Scorpio People think your mean. You need to be nicer to the people around or you will end up without friends and lots of work left to do. Life is easier when you have friends to get you through. Cancer You need to watch more sports. Watching sports will not only allow you to think strategically and provide that respite you need, but it may also lead to love. Gemini It’s time to think about branching out into a new group of friends. Even thought it seems like everything is fine right now, you will soon see that it is time for a new beginning. Be cautious and do not make any hasty decisions. Libra You will meet the love of your life sometime between now and Christmas Eve. Places you need frequent include Starbucks, the Library, and Café Voltaire. That’s right, your special someone is an intellectual — you will have nothing but good times ahead. Virgo You really need to focus on you academic life. You may feel content in with all of your current relationships, but you academic life is throwing everything else off balance. Once you have balanced your studies everything else will begin to fell all the more awesome. Leo You need to stop being so stubborn. Just because something isn’t working exactly how you imagined it would, doesn’t mean that everything is bad. Chill out, and let someone else take the lead for a while. Remember, however, that no one likes a back seat driver. Potentially. Suggest you Start With Somes neato Waa ming , See iF that clears fhings “p° Taurus Around the full moon you will have an epiphany. You will come to the realization that your life is heading down the wrong track. , OVER FAI PRIZES This could mean the ending of a relationship or even discovering a new interest or change in a major. manD prize! Pisces BGRAMMY i: frpezetnss You are coming into some very good luck. It is time to take some chances this month and change something about yourself. This A en © Eten es could mean a risky new haircut, signing a mortgage or buying a car. Don’t think about it, just do it — lady luck is on your side. Aquarius MUSTDRINKMOREMILK.COM MILK You need to make healthier choices. No more MacDonald’s or fast food. Exercising is not only good for your body, but for you SLAN,; mind as well. The healthier you are, the more every other aspect of your life will improve exponentially. Milk Slam is happening on campus from Oct. 12 to Dec. 3, 2010