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OverTheEdge Sept 4, 1996

TO THE

Korean

Pen
by Ian Lorenz

The

Suckers!...all you lucky people
get one more article. So I gradu-
ated from UNBC in May and
quickly realized that finding a job
in Canada was next to impossible.
Rather than become a professional
burger flipper I spent two months
hitch hiking around beautiful Bnit-
ish Columbia and then headed out
for a job in Korea. First, hitch hik-
ing BC is a must for anyone who is
young, wild, and free. It can easily
be as much fun as Europe and at
UNBC you should be able to make
enough friends that you can have
a place to stay in any region of the
province. Vancouver Island is by

far the best place and I had a won-
derful time in Parksville catching
live crayfish and cooking them in a
stone oven I made on the beach.
Thanks Santana!

Second, some of you will no
doubi be graduating this year and
need some way to pay off those
student loans (I remember at the
graduation ceremony some guy
talking about how my degree was
an IOU to society...ya right I al-
ready have an IOU for $12 000,
thank you very much). If you like
to travel and want to make a lot of
money...come to Korea. And for
those of you shaking your head
saying it is an impossibility for
you...think again, there is no rea-
son not to. They will take anyone
with any university degree, they
pay for your airfare, give you a
place to live, and once you arrive
at the airport they give you a 240
000 won ($500) relocation allow-
ance. It is a great way to see an-
other culture up close and at the
same time make money. I currently
make over 2 000 000 won ($4000) a
month and with proper networking
you can make much more with lu-
crative private contracts. I have
heard that Taiwan is also a good
place to make money... Japan how-
ever is saturated with foreign teach-
ers and the high cost of living pre-
vents you from saving much
money. If you are still having
trouble making up your mind, let
me share some of my experiences
in Korea with you.

So here is how our staff meeting
goes...All the Korean teachers are
on one side of the room and the
foreign teachers are on the other
side (a little like a grade school
dance). Mr. Kim comes in; he is a
tall man with dictator like stature.

He bows and sits. He then speaks
Korean for about ten minutes, ev-
ery now and then he smiles or
frowns for emphasis. Sometimes
the Korean teachers and him all
share a joke and we (the foreign-
ers) don't know what they are
laughing at. After he has finished
speaking he stands, bows, goes to
the door, bows again, and then

leaves. Then Jeinee, the academic
director, translates...this only takes
about two minutes, this is good,
because I think Mr. Kim tends to
be long winded. It basically cen-
ters on: enrolment is up (smiley
Mr. Kim), enrolment is down
(frown face Mr. Kim). Then we all
have pizza (at company expense)
and voice any concerns etc. This
meeting it appeared there might be
none. But Ken broke the silence
to query about when they might
be getting around to putting soap
and paper towel in the bathroom.
He added that perhaps enrolment
could be increased with this afore-
mentioned sanitary improvement.
At this the director smiles and
agrees to "take a look withit". From
beginning to end it's about 30 min-
utes. Unless they have a work-
shop, and then it might be an hour.
But as long as they keep buying
pizza I'll be there.

There are the classes, they are
pretty good. Every now and then
one of the kids acts up. The other
day this kid really pissed me off. I
was going through the lesson and

he decided he was going to repeat”

everything I said in a high pitched
squeaky voice. So I took him out
in the hall and said that he had
brought shame upon his entire
family by showing someone in a
higher position disrespect.
Well...perhaps I overdid it because

he started bawling. Speaking of
crying the other day Vivian (one of
the Korean teachers I share a class
with) came into the staffroom in
tears. I asked her what was wrong
and she told me that half of the stu-
dents in one of her classes quit.
She asked the class why so many
students had left and the class told
her it was because she was a bad
teacher and nobody liked her. Then
the bell went and it was my turn to
go and teach this same class. I
walked in and slammed the door.
The kids were very quiet and I said
that "Vivian teacher is not happy
and if Vivian teacher is not happy
then Ian teacher is not happy."
Then I gave them five pages of
homework and there was no talk-
ing Korean or English for the rest
of the class. I don't think that they
will be pulling that shit again.
These examples, however, are not
representative, and most of the time
I and the students have a lot of
fun. Some students will wa‘t at the
staffroom door and insist on car-

rying my books to classes and they
also bring me a lot of nice gifts...and
sometimes food (which I try to
choke down to be polite). Basi-
cally it is a very easy job and any-
one with a little patience and
humour should have no trouble
doing it.

And I think some of you might
get a laugh out of this. The teach-
ers at my school have nicknamed
me Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde. This
is because they see me as two
people. There is the me that wan-
ders down dark alleys in search of
the black market and other nasty
vices. This same me will sit’ sip-
ping soju (potato vodka) in the
street and comment on bombing
those fascist pigs in Singapore

“back to the Stone Age. Then there
is the me that comes to work in a

suit and tie, bows at the door, and
rushes to the phone between
classes to cram more private les-
sons into my already unmanage-
able schedule. (I'm telling you, you
know that you are old when you
have a party to network with
people instead of drink your face
off.)

Then there is Korea itself. The
people are friendly, especially so if
they find out that you are Cana-
dian. The Americans have a large
military presence here and some of
the little pukes at the Base give
foreigners a bad name. The food

_ is pretty funky and if you don't like

rice and squid you are going to
have a problem...however, peanut
butter is available on the black
market near Itaewon. And the
traffic... wow! Crosswalks have no
meaning and the whole system
seems to operate on the "rule of
tonnage". Basically this means
that the larger vehicle always has
the right of way. Buses are King

and: pedestrians are crap. Red
lights mean that it is polite to blast
your horn, to warn other motorists,
as you zip through in excess of 70

So I hope that you found this (my
last column...really I mean it) inter-
esting and informative. If you want
to teach in Korea there are an abun-
dance of agencies in Canada and
the US that advertise in the news-
paper. I am also told that many of
the Korean schools have web sites
on the internet and these sites
openly recruit foreign teachers. Or
you could use the same recruiter
that I did. They are Jane Reed and
David Davis, tel: (604) 451-0205, fax:
(604) 451-0206. Tell them Ian sent
you. So “annyong kaseyo" (good
bye) and remember the university
Senate still sucks.

Books on Fourth

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