High today: 35
Low Tonight: 20
Details page 33

Tuesday, April 1, 1996

Under The
Covers

Page 1 - A major
concern! A major
joke!

Page 2 - News!
What in the world
is going on
outside?

Page 4 - Editorial!
All about how to
get involved and
the result of the
Over The Edge
survey

Page 5 - Letters to
the Editor!
Concerns from
students!

Page. 8 -
Exploitation of
seniors! What's
going on?

Page 10 - The
election for the
Board of
Governors and
the Senate are
coming! Do you
know who to vote
fore

Page 15 - Sports!
Sports for all the
die-hard sports
fans out there!

&

OVER THE EDGE

ITIZEN

Disturbing the Central Interior Since 1994

Visit our website at
www.chryslergrad.com

for your chance to
WIN...

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free (Home Delivery Not Likely)

...a 97 Neon

O.J. Simpson to Sue The Canadian

University Press for $10M

Washed-up football superstar in last ditch effort to pay for his. civil suit.

By Mince Ivy

Well, it had to come
from somewhere, didn't
it? In a move that could
only be done by a
washed-up former
athlete superstar that
squandered all of his
money on useless crap,
O.J. Simpson is suing the
Canadian University Press
for $10 million dollars. His
eaqsexs, A lack of
coverage.

This was first
announced by Rachel
Young, BC coordinator of
the Canadian University
Press on February 28th,
during the Western
Regional Canadian
University Press meeting
held at the UBC’s student
paper, "The Ubyssey.”

“It’s sickening, simply
sickening,” said Vince
Yim, copy editor of Over
The Edge, in response to
the allegations made by
O.J. Simpson's lawyers, “1
don’t see why we should
have to cover things like
that when NBC does a
really good job as it
isreseGnGvABG, "CBS, Fox,
TSN, CNN, MTV, PBS, ...”

All of the newspapers
that cre. spat sof
Canadian University Press
will be forced to pay out
an equal amount to O.J.
Simpson
actually goes to court
and he wins. Surprisingly,

if the case.

O.J. Simpson is still able to
pay his legal fees to
launch a lawsuit with the
money left over from his
last lawsuit launched
against McDonald's for
not promoting Happy
Meal toys that look like
bloody knives and gloves
(that don't fit).

“lf the court case goes
through, Over The Edge
will be expected to pay
a big-ass amount,” said
Paul Berard, editor in

chief, “Okay, guys, we're
going to have to sell the
coffee machine...hey,
put that thing down...you
don't know what you're

doing... AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
He said before he was
forcibly silenced.

As a result, all of the
Canadian University Press
newspapers will feel the
pinch and will be forced
to make massive
cutbacks and changes.
As mentioned before,
Over The Edge will be
without a coffee maker.
Other Canadian
University Press affiliates
affected by recent turn
of events include UBC's
the Ubyssey, who will be
forced to chain
themselves to the
president's office until the
money can be paid; SFU's
the Peak, who will be
forced to put out their
issues on old napkins;
UVic's The Martlet, who
will be forced to invest in
pyramid schemes to keep
the paper afloat; and the
Manitoban, who will be
forced to run 16-page
papers with 16 pages of
advertising.

!

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