QYANMAN, I NEED U R IN MY JURISMCTI Tr You Do Not MEET My’) NEMANDS, 'LL. Stow THE SAY RYAN, WHERE DID vam. WS Wow, THIS SECRET TENT THING 15 EASY! AWAY MY COSTUME so Libra Good things in the making and you're so on the way up the success ladder. Just don’t forget all the little peo- ple who helped you up the ladder, though. Scorpio Why can’t you just admit, that life is unpredictable and enjoy it? For goodness sakes, stop trying to analyze everyone but yourself. Sagittarius So... you finally found your soul mate after all those countless hours on the ‘net. Congrats! Just remember: please, please keep it down so your roommates can get some sleep at night! Aquarius So you're finally given up the fact that Hamlet is not to be admired. . And anyhow, the Mel Gibson version definitely sucked rear hiney! Capricorn This is the year of the Duck. So remember... more quacks per KLO is a mark on the road to the recovery of your sex drive... Pisces Party! Party! Party! Yeh, sure it’s fun now, but one day you're going to wake up mid- dle-aged, with saggy behind, four kids, two ex-spouses, and a dead-end job, and you'll wonder what was it all about back then? Hmm... Ares, God of War—A fitting metaphor for all of you warriors right now. You know you’ve been wronged, and you’re not going to take it. So go ahead, take vengeance with pride, but remember to be _ just. Because even though it’s a cliché, it’s true: What goes around will definitely come around! Taurus Love and life! Love and fife! Where’s my cheer and sun- shine? Surely you can dredge up a smile or two every now and then? Go ahead. You'll see. It’s like a disease, once you start smil- ing, you never stop! Gemini You're slipping! | can see it! What happened to all those New Year resolutions, ”! will not act in a crack-victim—like manner!’? Get your act together! Cancer You must be pretty exhaust- ed with all that inner soul searching and fruitless spiri- tual wandering, huh? | mean, that infectious apathy that permeates your core must be pretty tiring, right? My sug- gestion: get up off your duff and do something rather than staying locked in your room all day listening to Bjork! Leo Still lost are you? Why don’t you begin by finding your way back to the friends and family who you lost some- where along your journey in the land of self-pity? You'd love yourself more for it. Virgo You're too quiet! Don’t be shy, it’s alright to live a little and enjoy yourself in this not- — Disclaimer: — All Horoscopes provided by Over The Edge are com- pletely fictional, and if you believe them you are so stupid you require a safety helmet. And this has been another episodic tantrum from Mme. Tarot. Please tune in next week to see whether you'll be praised or raked over the coals. (Just think !'m like Santa Clause. Rewards only for the good boys and girls!) la rin al