OVER THE EDGE NEWSPAPER. SEPTEMBER 13, 2006 OPINIONS 1] Back To School Tips For First-Years Because, God knows you'll need them VARIOUS, QUITE QUALIFIED, 3RD AND 4TH YEAR STUDENTS Now that September's begun, it's time to get back to UNBC, and start attend- ing classes and reading books, or at least bumming class notes and skimming Spark Notes. With the university ex- perience starting up, either again or for the first time, several transitions from the summer arise. ‘The following are several tips. Grant- ed, most of these tips are obvious, but sometimes even the most obvious seems to evade most. Regardless, here they are; 1) Know your winter Fashion. By winter fashion I mean put on some warmer clothes, you southerner. Most people forget during the summer just how cold it gets out here. Even though Prince George has one of the mildest cli- mates in Canada, it still gets -30, so wear that parka, toque, and whatever else may prevent you from getting a cold and passing it on to everyone else at UNBC. 2) Following the disease-theme, if you had summer flings, please get your slut man/woman bits tested for STDs. I think I speak on behalf of everyone at UNBC when I say we don't want itchy and painful sores on our genitals, pain- ful discharges, or AIDS. AIDS isn't as cook as it sounds. It hinders you,-to say the least, and does very little aiding. This is assuming of course your goal wasn't to kill your immune system. If so, AIDS might come in rather useful, and, in fact, aid in your goal, 3) Throw away those goals you have set for yourself. You know, the one where you promise yourself you'll do a certain amount of studying every night, and have essays done weeks in advance. This wont happen. You will cram for exams. You will write essays last minute. Save the disappointment in yourself, and get more realistic with your goals. 4) Buy your books, and see the regis- trar early, Line-ups frustrate me, and I know they frustrate you, too. “Nuff said? 5) Pick your night at the campus bar. I dont care if it's “bag a dead hooker Wed- nesdays” or “cowboy night,’ pick one and attend only one. I mean it! Otherwise the waitresses will begin to know your name and you'll become a part of the smelly, beer-infused, nacho-vomit decor. And that's a fate worse than death. 6) Do you remember back when you were looking at the brochure about UNBC, and they talked about how moose hang around the campus? Well, ‘its true. If you're driving and you see someone stopped ahead of you, it’s probably because they're waiting for one of these monstrosities to cross the road. Be alert. 7) The circle road around the Univer- “Despite what professors might tell you,sitting at the front of the class will not get you good marks. Not being an idiot does.’ sity has a speed limit of 30 for a reason. Flattening a professor makes a bad first impression, and I wouldn't blame the building crew for “accidentally” making the new buildings unstable. Drive at, or below, the speed limit. 8) While we're on the topic of vehicles; about that music you have play- ing. Loud music didn’t impress the girls in high school, and it certainly doesnt now. It's annoying, and we don't share your love of the Backstreet Boys, Rafh, or whatever the hell you noobs listen to nowadays. 9) Despite what professors might tell you, sitting at the front of the class will not get you good marks, Not being an idiot does. We hope this advice was all very use- ful, and will help guide you through your first, very stressful, year. Ask the Sex Doc: A voyeuristic view into Canada’s dorm rooms Dear Sex Doc; I'm 18 and in my first year of university and I think I’m addicted to jerking off. Is it normal for me to want to jack off every day? I’m sorry, but I'd rather play with myself than do Calculus. Sore Dick Failing Math at UNB Dear Sore Dick Failing Math at UNB; I'm not knocking math, but who in their right mind would rather figure out partial derivatives than pop a good one off? Masturbation is perfectly normal and natural to do at any point in your life. In fact, experts generally say that “99% of boys masturbate and the other 1% lie!” This doesn't mean that every single guy masturbates, however many do. In 1990, the Kinsey Institute found that 94% of men regularly masturbate to orgasm. Once a day doesn't sound like an addiction unless you're whacking nonstop. You're generally not addicted unless your obses- sion with your member hinders other aspects of your life. So if you find yourself pulling your pud instead of attending classes or doing chores you might need to schedule yout ‘play’ time around school. Another issue with perpetual penis play is chaffing. If your swollen member is too raw you shouldn't continue spanking the monkey. And, you probably shouldn't try to have sex with someone since you'll probably suck in bed. ‘To make mattets worse, your bed buddy will take one look at that thing and assume you've got an STI. Dear Sex Doc; What and where is this elusive G-spot I've heard so much about? I've failed to find it myself and even had a boyfriend who said he was an expert miss it. Does every woman have a G-spot? : Frustrated Miner at U of A Dear Frustrated Miner at U of A; The G-spot or Grafenberg spot (named after Dr. Grafenberg who is credited with discovering the G-spot) is either the nerve endings of the clitoris or the paraurethral gland that produces lubrication. Experts aren't positive what it is, but millions of screaming woman have discovered where it is. : ‘The latest research on the G-spot makes a good case for it being the paraurethral gland which is analogous to the prostate gland. The prostate gland contains 90% of the fluid in male semen. You can find the G-spot by inserting a finger into the vaginal canal. Gently bend your finger straight up towards the urethra in a‘come hither’ motion and search for a bean-shaped gland. The G-spot will be raised. Research shows that women have their G-spots in different locations. It can be anywhere from directly inside the vaginal canal to about 2 inches back. You'll have to do some exploration to find yours. It is easier to find a woman's G-spot when she is aroused. Clitoral stimulation is the best way to achieve this. During arousal, the vaginal canal expands in length to about 6 inches, During this time, the G-spot swells with fluid and is more sensitive to touch. Many women find this atea extremely pleasurable when touched. The G-spot area responds best to firm pressure with a mild vibration. So guys, unless you've got a wacky shaped dick, you'd better use your finger or, better yet, a silicone dildo or vibe designed for G-spot stimulaton. Dear Sex Doc; T've recently started having intercourse with my boyfriend and almost every time my vagina passes gas. This is ex- tremely embarrassing, to the point where I don't feel like having sex anymore. Is there anything I can do to stop this? Please help, Gassy Girl at UBC Dear Gassy Girl at UBC; What you are talking about is vaginal flatulence (farts) or what is often referred to in slang as quiffs: Basically, when a woman is having intercourse, air can easily make its way into the vagina when the penis is thrusting in and out. The air has to eventually come out. How loud the quiff’ is depends on how much air has entered the vagina and the force at which it comes out. If your guy won't stop complaining about your love noises, just hit him where it hurts. Tell him that you wouldn't fart if his dick were bigger, Actually, you'd better not. Guys are extremely sensitive about the size of their manhood. So, unless you're letting them rumble louder than a 747 it really isn't a big deal. Understanding that this is just air’ should make you and your partner more comfortable when this happens. Don't worry, relax, and enjoy yourself. Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games“Embrace” and ~ “Pillow Talk.’ The games are available on his website, HYPERLINK “http://www-foreverpleasure.com’ www.foreverpleasure. com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc’ column please email HYPERLINK “mailto:dr- brian@foreverpleasure.com” drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper. On the Digital Front How The PirateBay.org Raid Changed Politics Forever JEREMY JOHNSON STAFF WRITER If your a techy, you'll likely know about this story already. If your not a techy, chances are, the Canadian media sensored this story from you (I should know because I tried reporting this to a local paper only to get sensored) I say screw the local media. It must be hard to do such an story when you have a stake in what is happening to begin with. So what happened that was import- ant enough to sensor? ‘ThePirateBay. org raids. ThePirateBayiorg is a tor- rent file indexing site that, unlike any other known popular torrent indexing site, anyone can contribute to it. Under Swedish law (which is where they are located) indexing a .torrent file (which tells BitTorrent clients everything about how to obtain a file in a swarm which a tracker actually maintains). - What actually happened? According to a number of valid sources, ‘on March 16, 2006, John G. Malcom, Executive Vice President and Director of World- wide Anti-Piracy for the MPAA, ad- dressed a letter to Swedish State Sécre- tary Dan Eliasson. [...] State Secretary Dan Eliasson responded to Mr. Malcom - on April 10, 2006, He offered consola- tion by expressing some of the anti-pir- acy efforts the Swedish government has taken. Swedish Ministries are forbidden to interfere with local police or persecu- tion.’ (Slyck.com) Yet this is exactly what happened. Video surveillance recorded police en- tering the PRQ server farm and cover- ing all of the cameras befor apparently confiscating all of the equipment. All businesses hosted on there have since taken legal action against the Swedish government to compensate for lost busi- ness as a result. ThePirateBay.org on the other hand was actually backed up and was brought back online three days later despite the recording industry flagging this as an absolute victory. The Pirate Party, which started out as just another personal webpage by the party leader, responded to this. The result? Thousands of Swedish citizens took to the streets, dominantly in Stock- holm (Swedens capital). The Pirate Party grew from that personal webpage to a membership exceeding the Green Party (which currently holds over 14 seats in the Swedish parliament) Not only that, the other parties have quickly changed their official stance on copy- right. Even more interesting is the fact that the Pirate Party is now officially in the US, Sweden, Germany, and several other countries (particularly in Europe) There are currently talks of starting up a Canadian Party currently.