INTERMARRIAGES OF FILIPINO IMMIGRANT WOMEN IN PRINCE GEORGE by Editha Rejano - de Rama B.S.E.Ed. , Philippine Normal University, 1969 MEd. , University of the Philippines, 1975 RESEARCH PROJECT SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE OF J MASTJ;R OF EDUCATION m COUNSELLING Editha Rejano- de Rama, 1999 THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA Fall1999 All rights reserved. This work may not be reproduced in whole or in part, by photocopy or other means, without the permission of the author. UNIVERSITY OF NORTHERN BRITISH COLUMBIA LIBRARY Prince George, BC Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women n Abstract This research project is a qualitative case study of 10 intermarried Filipino immigrant women. The women were asked specific questions about the Filipino cultural practices/patterns that were brought into the marriage, how they resolve the differences, the qualities of a Filipino woman that help resolve differences, and the attitudes they have on intermarriage, through a face-to-face interview. A demographic information sheet was also used to gather information about themselves and their husbands, and a rating scale about the presumed advantages and disadvantages was administered to validate the information obtained in the interview. Results showed Filipino cultural practices and differences are not a barrier to a stable relationship. The women participants admitted that they probably exerted more effort than those who have intramarriages. They have learned to compromise for the betterment of the relationship because they see marriage as a lifetime partnership. The women mentioned the virtues of "pakikisama/pakikibagay", "matiisin" as qualities that help resolve conflicts/differences. They also claimed they are hardworking, caring, patient, and flexible. The rating scale validated the positive attitude ofthe women towards intermarriage. They expressed hesitance to come out and seek help from mental health professionals or counsellors, but would prefer bicultural/bilingual mental health professionals or counsellors who would truly understand where they are coming from. This project concludes that cultural differences should not be seen as a threat to a stable relationship but as ingredients that contribute to enhance the flavor of the marriage, making it exciting, enviable and enriching. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women m Table ofContents Abstract.............. . ... ........................................ ...... .................... n Table of Contents ................. . ... ..... . .............. . ...... .................. ... .... m List of Tables. .... . .................. .......... .... . ....... ............ ...... .............. v Acknowledgement.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . vt Introduction..... . ........... . ...................... .. ............... ....................... Statement of Research Objectives.... ..... .. .. ... ...... .. ........................... Significance of the Study. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scope and Limitation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Definition of terms.. .............. ........... ........... ... .................. .... ...... 1 2 2 4 5 Review of Literature. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Theoretical Background... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Intermarriage in the United States and Canada... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Intermarriage in the Philippines.... .... . ........... . ...... .. .... .. .... .............. Problems and Challenges in Intermarriage.. ............ .............. ............ 6 6 7 10 12 Research Design. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sample. ............................. ....... .. .. . ........... .......... .... ........ .. .. .... Recruitment procedure.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Data collection... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 16 17 17 Results and Discussion... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 Sample Characteristics........ . .......... ........... ................................. Previous Civil Status... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . How They Met. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Religion... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ... Education.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Occupation... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 20 20 22 22 23 25 The Cases. ....... . ..... . .................................................... .......... 26 The Interview.... .. ..................................................... . .... ....... . Filipino Cultural Practice/Patterns.............. .... ..................... ... . Kinship Relations........ . ......... .............................. ......... Child Rearing Practices... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Financial Management... ...... .............. .. ... ......... ...... ... ..... "Kamayan"... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 32 32 34 35 36 Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women Cultural Differences. .. .. . .... ..... .. . ... ...... ... .. . ................. . ...... . Food.. ..... ............ ...... ... ... ... .. ......... ....... .. .... .. ...... ... Language.... ... .. .... ... .. ..... . ... ..... .. .. ....... .... .. .. ......... .. . Religion. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Race.. . ... ............ ... ...... .. .. ... ..... ... ... ..... ... . ... ..... ...... . 37 37 Qualities that Help Resolve Cultural Practices and Differences..... .. On being a "Housekeeper". .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 45 Conflict Resolution... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Attitudes Towards Intermarriage.. ... . ... ... ... ... .. .. .... .. ....... ... .. .. 48 Conclusion.. .... .... .. ... ....... .. ..... ... . ... ..... ........ ...... .. ...... .. .. .. ........ .. 52 References. .. ... .. ......... .. ... .. .... ... ...... .. ..... . .... .. ... .... .. .. ... .. ... ... .... ... 56 Appendix A (Letter to the participants/Consent Form) ... ... ........... . ... ..... ... 60 Appendix AI (Filipino language translation of the letter).. .. ... .. ..... .. .. .. .. .. 62 Appendix B (Interview Questions).. ..... .... ... . .... ... ... ... .. .......... .. .. . .. .... 64 Appendix Bl (Filipino language translation of the questions)... ...... .... .. .... 65 Appendix C (Demographic Information Sheet).. .... .... ... ............ ...... .. ... 66 Appendix D (Rating scale).. . ..... . ... .... ... ..... .... ... ... ...... .. ... ... .. . ....... .. 67 39 41 42 tv Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women List of Tables Table 1. Age and Marriage Status Profile for Filipino WomenCanadian Men Intermarriage in Prince George.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Table 2. Education Profile for Filipino Women-Canadian Men Intermarriage in Prince George..................................... .. . 23 Table 2.1. Educational Level of the Women Participants and their Husbands.. 24 Table 3. Occupational Profile ofFilipino-Canadian Intermarriage at the Time of the Marriage ..... . ... .......... .......... . .. . .. . .............. .. 25 Table 4. Occupational Profile ofFilipino-Canadian Intermarriage at the Time of the Interview. ..... ........ . ..... . ... ...... ..... . ..... .. ....... . 26 Table 5. Frequency of Agreement/Disagreement on Presumed Advantages and Disadvantages of Intermarriage.... .... . ........................ 50 v Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women vt Acknowledgements I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to these persons without whose assistance this study would not have been possible: Dr. Peter MacMillan, my research supervisor, for his guidance during the development and completion of the study; Dr. Tom Strong, for his suggestions for the improvement of some portions thereof; Dr. Joselito Arocena, who patiently and meticulously went over the drafts of the study and sacrificed precious time in his busy schedule; Dr. Bryan Hartman, who, without his encouraging comments on the research topic I submitted in Education 795, this project could have probably been abandoned; Most importantly, to the 10 Filipino women who allowed me to get into their world, for allowing me to share their stories and experiences to interested readers in the field of counselling; And lastly, to my children who believed in my ability to finish the project that I have started. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women INTRODUCTION Marriage where the parties involved have different religious, racial, ethnic or cultural backgrounds is commonly referred to as intermarriage. Cahill (1990) posits two conflicting views on intermarriage. The stunting paradigm presupposes that the "greater the marital distance between the participants, the greater the chances of marital breakdown" (p.2). Marital distance refers to the difference in race, culture, caste, class, religion, and language. The other is a more positive concept called the liberating paradigm and states that marital distance keeps the partners more committed to each other, thus, making the marriage more stable. It also promotes "broader intercultural interaction between groups which is the basis for inter-group cooperation" (Cahill, 1990, p.3). The ultimate goal of a committed relationship like marriage is stability and happiness. Married couples, however, are faced with challenges inherent in the marriage, which when not resolved, could result in marital breakdown. Many people in societies, where there have been cases of racism and discrimination believe that intermarried couples are prone to marital breakdown and to have more challenges because of the different religious, racial, ethnic/cultural backgrounds. Intermarried couples, especially interracial couples, reported that they have to exert more effort to keep their marriage intact and stable (Rosenblatt, Karris, and Powell, 1995). The Filipino-Canadian intermarriage qualifies under the aforementioned description of intermarriage because it is intertwined with many differences. To begin with, both have different skin pigmentation and physical features, language, culture, and possibly Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 2 religion. This study was focused more on the Filipino cultural practices/differences brought into the intermarriage. Statement of Research Objectives Specifically, this study has the following objectives: 1. To find out the Filipino cultural practices/differences brought into the marriage. 2. To explore the characteristics of the Filipino women that help resolve cultural differences so as to keep the marriage intact and stable. 3. To find out the attitudes of the intermarried Filipino women towards intermarriage. Significance of the Study The Filipino immigrants to Canada are increasing in number. The Philippines was ranked number four as a source country of immigrants in the analysis made by the Ministry Responsible for Immigration and Multiculturalism in their Profile 1995 of immigrants to Canada. Statistics Canada has also reported that among the 3.2 million members of the visible minorities in the country, 600,000 minorities live in British Columbia, which is one of the favorite destinations of Filipino immigrants. Forty seven thousand of the 600,000 visible minorities in British Columbia are Filipinos, making them the third largest visible minority in the province. The City ofPrince George, a city in the Central Interior ofBC, has a total of3,835 visible minorities, 245 of whom are Filipinos comprising 65 males and 185 females (Statistics Canada, 1998). The increase of Filipino immigrants to Canada was noted in the 1980s and 1990s. This was considered the third wave ofFilipino migration. The peak was in 1991, when the Canadian government implemented the Live-in Caregiver Program (LCP). The LCP attracted a great number of well-educated women who could not find work in their home country Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 3 because of the deteriorating economic conditions. The LCP offers migrant workers the opportunity to become landed immigrants after working and living with their employers for a period of two years. Many ofthe Filipino women who were in search of better opportunities and economic stability found the offer a way out of the poor economic conditions in the Philippines. Most of the women who came in the early and middle 1990s are now settled and married to Canadian men. The growing number of Filipino-Canadian intermarriages cannot be ignored because a number ofFilipino women who have problematic marriages could not openly discuss their problem because of the fear that they would be misunderstood. Some Filipino women find it difficult to express themselves to persons who have different racial or cultural orientations. Most Filipino women would rather seek emotional assistance from families and friends, before they come for professional help. Outside help is considered as the last resort. It is important that multicultural counsellors become aware of this growing subculture because it is believed that counselling becomes more complex especially when dealing with a culturally distinct group. It is quite difficult for counsellors to understand all the cultural beliefs, but to be culturally sensitive to the needs and beliefs of a Filipino client could enhance counselling relationship. Counsellors in this part of the world where diversity of culture and colour flourish, are faced with an ethical responsibility to know the minority's values and insights. It is not common, however, to find counsellors who fully understand the values, beliefs and concerns of the minorities. Casas (1984) as quoted in Pedersen. Fukuyama, and Heath (1989) explained: Though various reasons could be given to explain this lack of attention, some of the major reasons include (1) a blatant and irresponsible lack of interest in these groups, Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 4 (2) the continued existence in subtle yet complex forms of racism, biases and prejudices relative to the specific racial/ethnic minorities, (3) the prevalence of an ethnocentric perspective which seeks to downplay cultural differences and pushes for assimilation and mainstreaming of the culturally different, (4) a preference for working with clients whose characteristics is similar to those of the counselor and correlated with successful counseling outcomes (p.25). Results of my study could add to the limited information on Filipino intermarriages in Canada. This study could also help establish a common ground on Filipino intermarriages, which could be of use to multicultural counsellors to better understand the Filipino women' s values and beliefs for a better counsellor/client relationship. Knowledge of how the Filipino women strive to solve cultural differences in the marriage could help multicultural counsellors to better understand the Filipino women' s psyche. It could also help counsellors to reach out to Filipino immigrant women as part of their clientele, and for government agencies to be aware of the importance ofbilingual or bicultural counsellors who could cater to the needs of the Filipino immigrant women. Scope and Limitation of the Study This study was based on interviews with 10 intermarried Filipino immigrant women. These women were encouraged to describe the Filipino cultural patterns/practices that were brought into the marriage, the Filipino women' s characteristics that help resolve cultural differences, and the attitudes they have on intermarriages. Since the interviews were only with the Filipino women, necessary data about their husbands were collected through demographic information questions. " Pagtatanong-tanong" (asking questions), a form of face-to-face informal conversation was utilized to gather other data (Pe-Pua, 1989). One of the limitations of this study was to secure accurate and unbiased information about the participant's feelings and experiences. To counter the limitation, a rating scale used by Cahill was administered after the interview (1990, p.96). The sample Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 5 was limited to 10 individual cases, so generalization was claimed mainly on the presented sample and not to the whole population of Filipino women. Definition of Terms 1. Intermarriage - generally applied to those persons whose religious, racial or ethnic background is or was different from each other either prior to or after their marriage (Gordon, 1964, p. 6). 2. Interracial marriage - those in which the parties to the marriage belong to different races (Gordon, 1964, p. 7). 3. Filipino women - women born in the Philippines who immigrated to Canada and are married to Canadian men. 4. Canadian men- husbands of the Filipino women who are Caucasians or White. 5. Cultural patterns - beliefs and practices, traditions, values, mores and language that the Filipino women brought into the marriage. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 6 REVIEW OF LITERATURE Limited information on Filipino intermarriages, especially on Filipino-Canadian intermarriage, led me to pursue this project on intermarriages of Filipino immigrant women. In fact, in my search for literature, I have only found three studies on FilipinoAmerican intermarriage, and one on Filipino-Australian, Filipino-Japanese, and FilipinoSwiss men. The first three dealt on the problems of Filipino-American intermarriages, the motives for intermarriage, and the culture patterns occurring in the marriage, but these studies were conducted in 1938, 1957, and 1987. The latest study was in 1990, and was conducted in Australia, Japan, and Switzerland. Its main concern was the adjustment problems encountered by the women who were presumed to be mail-order brides. The four studies mentioned cultural differences as one of the factors that affected the marriage. Will the findings of the proposed study, which is in the 20th Century, be similar to what was found decades ago? Theoretical Background There are several theories that explain the phenomenon of intermarriage. The theories range from cultural to psychological and social-structural theories. The cultural theory holds that the "trend toward increased intermarriage is the result of declining social and cultural barriers between groups" (Labov and Jacobs, 1986). There is a decline in barriers when physical and cultural marks of distinction have largely disappeared such that the groups are moving towards social and cultural assimilation. There is more intermarriage, for example, among the second generation of immigrants than that of the first generation because the second generation assimilates more readily than their parents. Labov and Jacobs (1986) cited Gordon' s (1964) conclusion that Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 7 "intermarriage would continue to increase as a result of general weakening of contemporary family and religious ties as well as the possession of similar educational, economic, and social backgrounds" (p.78). Advocates of the psychological theory consider self-hatred, rebellion against the more conservative values of parents, and adventure as some ofthe factors that contribute to intermarriage. Rinaldo (1996) cited the American Indian tale ofPocahontas, a Native American woman, who defied her powerful father and married a White man. / Proponents of the social-structural theory believe that intermarriage occurs because of the desire of the contractants for social upward mobility and the gains they get out of the marriage, gender imbalance, and the relative size of different racial and ethnic groups in the community. Blau, Blum, and Shwartz (1982) tested the relative size of different racial and ethnic groups and the degree of heterogeneity in the community, where they examined marriages across boundaries of race, national origin, region and occupation. They found that "heterogeneity was directly related to outmarriage and that the size of particular groups was inversely related to the probabilities of intermarriage for group members" (quoted in Labov and Jacobs, 1986, p. 79). Intermarriage in the United States and Canada In the United States, laws against interracial marriage started in Maryland and Virginia in 1660. By 1920, interracial marriage was forbidden in 30 states (Rinaldo, 1996). The case of Loving v. Virginia attested to this. The story stated that in 1958, Richard Loving (a White man) married Mildred Jeter (a Black woman) in Washington D.C., and returned to Virginia as husband and wife. The Lovings were prosecuted under a statute enacted in 1924 entitled " An Act To Preserve Racial Integrity" which stated Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 8 that no White person could marry anyone other than a White person (Alouise, 1998). They were sentenced to one year in jail but the court promised to suspend the sentence if they left the state and did not return to Virginia for 25 years. They returned to Washington D.C., where in 1963, they initiated a suit challenging the constitutionality of the law. In June of 1967, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in favor of the Lovings and repealed the law that prohibits interracial marriage. This marked the beginning of a steady increase of Black-White interracial marriages (Rosenblatt et al., 1995, p. 8). Trosino (1993) enumerated some justifications why the laws on interracial marriages were upheld. He mentioned White supremacy, protection of White womanhood, and the prevention of mixed race offspring who were believed to be physically and mentally inferior compared to the pure White race children. Despite the difficulties interracial couples may face with regard their marriage, statistics show that interracial marriage has increased in the last two decades. According to Rinaldo ( 1996) early interracial marriages were strongly motivated by the absence or shortage of partners of the opposite sex of the same race. Barron (1971) cited the studies conducted in 1946 in New York, Los Angeles, Burlington, Woonsocket, New Haven, and Derby and reported similar results: "that an unbalanced sex ratio and numerically small representation led some groups into considerable incidence of intermarriage". In 1964, Gordon hypothesized that " there will be an increase in all forms of intermarriages". The greatest increase will be in interethnic marriages, the next is that of different religious groups, and the least among different racial groups. Thirty-one years later, after Gordon' s hypothesis, Rosenblatt et al. (1995) reported that although interracial Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 9 marriage still remain uncommon in the United States, there is no doubt that it is increasing in number. Burma (1963) examined the records of marriage licenses in Los Angeles from 19481959. He observed a pattern of considerable increase of interracial marriage over the years. He summarized the results as follows: ... . smaller groups in Los Angles intermarried far more than the larger groups; some evidence of intermarriage by cultural homogamy exist; intermarried couples are on the average somewhat older than person intramarrying, except if they themselves are the products of intermarriage; and except for whites, in most cases there was a greater likelihood that one party had been divorced previously than in incomparable intramarriages (p. 145). He also noted in his study that Filipino-White intermarriages were among the most common among interethnic marriages. In Canada, early studies on intermarriages were focused more on interethnic, interfaith or interreligious marriages rather than interracial. Richard ( 1991) conducted a study on ethnic marriages from 1871-1971 , but did not mention the Filipino immigrants as an ethnic group. It could be that the Filipino immigrants were too insignificant to be included or that they were categorized with "other" Asian groups. Available records show that the first Filipino immigrant came to Canada in 1931. In the early 1950s, only 10 Filipino immigrants were recorded, and from 1946-1964 a total of 770 immigrants were recorded (Bustamante, 1998). Although there are intermarriages going on among the Filipinos in Canada, I have yet to read a study on Filipino-Canadian intermarriages. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 10 Intermarriage in the Philippines Intermarriage as a phenomenon started early on Philippine soil. This could probably be traced back to the conquest of the Philippine Islands by foreign invaders. The evolution of the Filipino Brown race started on the arrival of the Malays from Indonesia and Malaysia around 3000 BC (Philippine History and Today, 1998). These Brown people were excellent seafarers who traveled by boat from what is now called the South China Sea through Sumatra, Borneo, and Malaysia (Nakpil, 1976). They brought with them the Malayo-Polynesian culture, and established and settled their territorial tribes in the different islands in the archipelago. A designated "Datu" or king ruled each island. These Malays drove the earlier inhabitants of the island almost to extinction. These earlier inhabitants, described as the Negroid nomads, came 30,000 years ago. They were believed to have traveled through landbridges from Southeast Asia and Borneo (A page for Philippine Prehistory, 1998). They were short, black people with curly hair, flat noses and thick lips. Long before the Spaniards colonized the Philippines in the 16th Century, the Brown natives had already come in contact with Indians from India, the Chinese, and the Arabs, through commerce. Intermarriages subsequently followed due to the frequent interaction of the natives with the traders (Edraline, 1998). It was the Brown people who met Magellan, a Spanish explorer from the Western world, in March 1521 . Although it was Magellan who "discovered " the Philippines, it was Miguel Lopez de Legaspe who named the archipelago in honor of King Philip II of Spain, and later called the strings of islands, the Philippines, and the Brown inhabitants, the Filipinos. The Filipinos revolted against Spain and gained independence after 333 Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 11 years of Spanish rule. After the Spanish- American war, the Philippines was ceded by Spain to the United States for $20 million under the Treaty of Paris in 1898 (Edraline, 1998). The United States colonized the Philippines for 48 years from 1898-1946, and later granted the second Philippine Independence in July 1946. The coming of different invaders and commercial traders to the islands led to the inevitable intermarriages and sometimes- illicit relationships with the Filipino women. The Spaniards and the Americans were the foreign invaders who stayed the longest in the Philippines. Statistics show that the U.S. military involvement in the Philippines from 1950-1991 alone produced 50,000 Amerasian children in the Philippines (Congressional Record, 1994). Aside from the American and Spanish invaders, the Japanese and British also governed the Philippines for a short time. The Chinese came as traders and immigrants to the Philippines. The ancestry of many of the present day generation ofFilipinos ranges from the Malays, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, and American blood as a result of the intermarriages. Dr. H. Otley Beyer, a noted American anthropologist, reported that the racial ancestry of the Filipinos consists ofMalay - 40%, Indonesian- 30%, Chinese- 10%, Indian (Hindu) 5%, European and American- 3 % , and Arab- 2% (as cited in Edraline, 1998). The coming of the invaders also brought three major religions to the Philippines. The Spaniards brought Catholicism, the Americans their Protestantism, and the Arabs their Islam religion. Approximately 85 % of the Filipinos are Catholics. The rest practice Islam and other Christian religions. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 12 Problems and Challenges in Intermarriages One of the challenges that multiracial couples experience in their relationship is the pressure of societal disapproval. Rosenblatt et al. ( 1995) interviewed 21 multiracial couples in the United States and claimed that they experienced racism, discrimination and prejudice. These couples felt that they have to exert more effort than couples in same race marriages to keep their relationship intact. Furlong (1968) likewise interviewed interracial couples and found that they were confronted with problems like alienation from one's family, stares from the public, discrimination and less upward mobility. Biesanz and Smith ( 1951 ), in their study of 66 Panamanian women married to Americans, enumerated that language, religion, attitudes of spouses toward ethnic differences, adjustment of intergroup situations, institutionalized roles ofhusband and wife, and choices of cuisine were the factors that affected intermarriage adjustment. Concini ( 1998) conducted a study on Indians and Pakistanis who choose to marry exogamously. She found out that typical areas of conflicts were family relations, privacy, the existence of external or societal disapproval or prejudice of interracial, intercultural or even interreligious couples, issues on where to live, child-rearing practices, communication gap, gender roles, different styles of expression and finally different values or worldviews. Fu and Heaton (1995) revealed that there is high racial tolerance in Hawaii because of interracial marrriage. They also stated that a person' s social status plays a major role in who they are likely to marry and that a person' s first choice of partner is someone who Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 13 is similar to them in race, physical characteristics, traits and interests. They noted higher statistics of divorce rates in interracial marriages. Stereotyping also affects the relationship of interracial couples. Burnette (1995) compiled the following stereotypes on interracial marriages: When people see a black man with a white woman, they often believe he married her to move the social strata. In Asian-American female - White male couples, people assume the husband is the dominant partner and the wife is the compliant and docile. Most ethnic minorities have experience discrimination throughout their lives and are therefore less reactive. There is a popular myth that people are attracted to someone from a different race because they are morally degenerate, rebellious, have revenge fantasies or low self-esteem. Strauss (1954) studied American- Japanese intermarriages involving servicemen who were among occupying forces in Japan at the conclusion of World War ll. He hypothesized that racial intermarriage is particularly conducive to strain and disharmony and found it to be a false assumption. He found that some Oriental- Caucasian intermarriage were so stable and harmonious that they revealed greater compatibility than many racially endogamous marriages. There have been a few studies on intermarriages among the Filipinos. Catapusan (1938) reported that a significant problem associated with Filipino intermarriages is conflict in the home. He described the four types of conflicts in Filipino-White homes as follows, (1) differences in socio-cultural backgrounds, (2) differences in standards of living, (3) the parent's wide differences in temperament, (4) differences between the parents and the children in the family who represent American forms of social control. Difference in sociocultural background was illustrated in the hierarchical position, the father as head of the family usually plays in traditional Philippine homes. In the United Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 14 States, the American wife usually takes the lead and takes control in family affairs, resulting in social aloofuess ofthe Filipino husband in the midst of his wife' s American friends. This study, however, was conducted in 1938 on Filipino husbands who had interracial marriages and would probably not be applicable in today' s situations. Hunt and Coller ( 1957) interviewed 20 American military personnel married to Filipino women. They found a fairly sharp cultural contrast in the management of family finances, concepts of modesty and proper sex behaviour, interaction with relatives, childcare, housekeeping standards, diet, language usage, recreational practices, and religion. Although the couples have different cultural practices, the study showed that both learned to accommodate the differences. It would be interesting to find if these cultural contrasts are present in the Filipino-Canadian intermarriages. Buttny (1987) conducted another study in the Philippines on intermarriage between American military service personnel and the Filipino women. The study was focused on the motives of intermarriage. Results of the study showed that both participants rated "romantic love" as the primary motive. For the Filipino women, better future and economic security ranked next. For the women, to marry U.S. servicemen is an upward economic step that will enable them to start a new family and economically help their family of origin. The American military servicemen, in tum, reported that they found in the Filipino women the traditional female behaviours and virtues which they cannot find among North American women. Cahill' s (1990) focus of interest was the adjustment ofFilipino women married to Australian, Japanese, and Swiss men. This study was initiated because of the controversial issue of the "mail order bride" phenomenon, the infamous " marriage Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 15 introduction agencies", and the increase of Filipino women who seek work overseas. This cross-national study was conducted in Australia, Japan and Switzerland by a research team with the help of community organizations and welfare agencies in the respective countries. The research team used the "snowball sampling technique. , Interviews with the women were done either through participatory group sessions or one-on-one informal interview depending on circumstances. The men in the study were described to be those who were affected by gender imbalance in some isolated areas in their country. Analysis of the comments made by the Filipino women indicated that their individual strength of character, their patience, and adaptability helped overcome difficulties/ adjustment in the marriage. Some of the conflicts mentioned were: the handling of finances because the husband resents the wife sending financial support to her family back in the Philippines, language, loneliness and isolation, discrimination, relationship with in-laws and sometimes physical and emotional abuse. Furthermore, the study indicated that although many of the Filipino women encountered difficulties because of the differences in culture, customs, and traditions of their respective husbands, they rated their marriage positively. Cahill (1990) concluded that these intermarriages could be viewed as normal marriages with special characteristics. The aforementioned studies have shown the negative consequences of intermarriage, particularly in countries where racism is a given. In the minds of many people, intermarriages would not last long and are doomed to failure, and that cultural differences generate marital and family discord rather than harmony. It is hoped that my study would help disprove such belief and at the same time identify solutions for better marital stability. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 16 RESEARCH DESIGN This is a qualitative case study of a group of intermarried Filipino immigrant women. Mirriam (1988) describes a case study research as a form of qualitative research consisting of a systematic study of a specific phenomenon. Qualitative research is usually written from the perspective of the participants involved in a phenomenon. It is particularistic, descriptive, heuristic and inductive. Detailed description and in-depth quotations are essential qualities of a qualitative research. A case study method usually involves interviewing, observing and document analysis. The interview, which is one of the most common tools for gathering information, was used in this project. Content analysis was utilized to identify the themes and patterns in the data collected in the interview. Quotations from the interview that addressed a particular issue or concept were pulled together into coherent categories, patterns and themes. This study used a lot of quotations to allow the readers to fully understand the thoughts of the people represented in the study. Sample Purposive sampling (Palys, 1997) was used in this study. The participants were 10 Filipino women who are married to Canadians. The women were born in the Philippines, and are now residents of the City of Prince George. They came to Canada in various ways. Some came under the LCP and others were sponsored by their Canadian husbands. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 17 Recruitment Procedure My familiarity with the members of the Filipino community was used to identify the intermarried Filipino women. I would approximate that 75 % of the Filipino women in Prince George are married to Canadians. This was based from my observation whenever Filipinos come together to celebrate significant events. The prospective participants were approached one at a time and the nature and importance of the research was explained. Their willingness to participate in the study was considered an important phase in the selection process. The interview was scheduled after the consent was granted. The participants were interviewed as coequals, with every right to decline to answer a question, to stop the interview and to raise issues that are important to them. Confidentiality was assured and pseudonyms were used to keep their identity secret. Data Collection Data were collected through an interview with the participants. To be able to gather pertinent information, the participants were asked a set of open-ended questions. The interviews explored the following issues: the culture patterns the Filipino women brought into the marriage; the effects of racial, religious and cultural differences in the marriage; how the women resolve cultural, racial and religious differences; the Filipino women' s characteristics that help resolve differences, and their attitude towards intermarriage. The women were encouraged to share their stories and experiences through a face-to-face interview. I used the face-to-face interview which is in the form of an informal conversation called "pagtatanong-tanong" (Pe-Pua, 1989). Literally, the Filipino word "pagtatanongtanong" means "asking questions''. This method of "pagtatanong-tanong" makes use of Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 18 an interviewer, who comes from the same racial or cultural background, and basically asks the questions informally in the native tongue. This puts the respondent at ease with the interviewer. An interviewer who is from the same racial or cultural background is usually seen as a part of the extended family. This form of interview or "pagtatanongtanong" has been used and identified by Filipino psychology researchers as a suitable indigenous research method (Pe-Pua, 1989). The interview was conducted either in English, in the native language, or in the combination of English and "Tagalog" which we usually call "Taglish or Engalog". The interview that was conducted in the native language was translated into English and responses in English were transcnbed verbatim. Excerpts from each transcript were analyzed and categorized according to the elements that were discussed. An audiotape recorder was used during the interview to facilitate transcription. A demographic information sheet was used to establish a profile about themselves and their husbands. The demographic information includes: place of birth, age at marriage, place of residence at time of marriage, place of marriage, type of marriage ceremony, length of courtship, number of children from previous marriage if any, number of children in the present marriage, length of marriage, religion, and how and where they met. To counter the limitation of the open-ended interview and to validate the information obtained from the interview, a rating scale constructed by Cahill (1990) was used to get the attitudes of the women towards intermarriage (See Appendix D for the rating scale). This set of questions, which was approved by the Ethics Committee, served as a guideline during the face-to-face interview with the participants. These questions were Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 19 translated to the Filipino language and were used when the participants wish to be interviewed in their native tongue (See Appendix B 1 for the Filipino translation). 1. You are in an interracial relationship. Could you identify the Filipino culture patterns that you brought into the marriage? 2. How do racial, cultural, class, religious, language differences affect the marriage? 3. How do you resolve these differences so as to keep the marriage intact and stable? 4. What do you think are the qualities of the Filipino woman that help keep the marriage intact? 5. Do you feel comfortable bringing out your problernls to a counselor or do you try to solve the problernls yourself? 6. What do you think are the advantages/disadvantages of intermarriage? Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 20 RESULTS AND DISCUSSION Sample Characteristics The age of the Filipino women participants ranged from 24 to 52 years old and their husbands, age ranged from 34 to 63 years old. The women are nine years younger than their husband on the average (Table 1). The women participants have stayed in Canada from 2 to 17 years, and have come to Canada either under the LCP, or were sponsored by their husbands. Sixty percent of the women are Catholics. Seventy percent had worked as a domestic helper either in Hong Kong, Singapore, or Saudi Arabia, before coming to Canada under the LCP of the Canadian government. Most of these women who had worked as domestic helpers overseas hold bachelor degrees and were not satisfied with the pay they were getting as professionals in the Philippines. Previous Civil Status Eighty percent of the Filipino women were never married while 70% of the Canadian men were divorced. This profile supported the previous finding ofBurma (1963) when he observed that one of the partners in intermarrying couples is more likely to be divorced than those who have intramarriages. Cahill (1990) likewise noted similar findings about the Filipino women- Swiss men intermarriage where the Swiss men were likely on the second marriage. Table 1 shows the age and marital status profile for Filipino women-Canadian men intermarriages in Prince George. As shown, the Filipino wife is considerably younger than her Canadian husband. The striking age gap between the Filipino and their Canadian partner is nine years with a range of 0-20 years. On the average, the Filipino women intermarried in the early 30s and the men in the early 40s. This fmding validated Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 21 Burma's (1963) observation that intermarrying couples on the average are somewhat older. He also added that intermarrying males were somewhat older than intramarrying males. Furthermore, the Filipino women who were married to White men were the youngest among the groups of women (Chinese, Japanese, White, and Black women) who intermarry. Cahill (1990) also reported that there is a significant 10 years age gap between the Filipino women-Australian men intermarriage. Table 1 Age and Marriage Status Profile for Filipino Women- Canadian Men Intermarriage in Prince George Status Variable Filipino wife Canadian husband Average age at time of interview 40 49 Average age at time of marriage 33 42 Percentage of partners previously married 20% 70% 2 1.8 Average number of children from previous marriage Average number of children from present marriage 0.8 Average number of years in present marriage 7.1 Percentage of present marriages celebrated in church, Civil marriages 50% 50% The average length of Filipino women- Canadian intermarriage is 7.1 years with the ranged of2-15 years. The result of this study is close to Cahill's (1990), where the average length of Filipino women- Swiss men and Filipino women- Australian men intermarriages is 6.5 and 6.2 respectively. Fifty percent of the present marriages of the Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 22 participants in this study took place in Canada, 40% in the Philippines, and another 10% in the country where they both worked as professionals. Fifty percent of the marriage ceremonies were civil marriages and the other 50% were ceremonies in different Christian churches. How They Met Sixty percent of the women respondents met their husbands through friends and relatives in Filipino parties here in Canada. Thirty percent of the participants met their husbands through pen pal writing and courtship was conducted through the mail. They wrote to each other for a period of one to two years. These women said that their husbands proposed marriage through the mail or by phone. They got married in the Philippines when their Canadian pen pal visited them in the Philippines and came to Canada under the sponsorship of the husband. Only one out of the ten participants met her husband while attending a workshop/seminar for foreign workers. Many of the Filipino women said that they got married after getting acquainted with the Canadian suitor for an average of one year. Length of courtship varies from two months to two years. Religion Sixty percent of the women respondents are practicing Catholics and the rest were converted to other Christian religions. Only one was married in the Catholic Church. Fifty percent had civil marriage and 40% were married in Christian churches. It could be attributed to the fact that 100% of the husbands are non-Catholics and 70% divorced, thus prohibiting them from marriage in the Catholic Church. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 23 Education The Filipino women' s educational level is higher, compared to their Canadian husband. Table 2 Education Profile for Filipino Women-Canadian Men Intermarriage in Prince George Highest educational level Filipino wife Canadian husband Elementary 0 0 High school 20% 70% Vocational/ 2nd year college education 30% 10% Completed college or university 50% 20% Table 2 shows the educational profile for the Filipino women-Canadian men intermarriage in Prince George. Seventy percent of the Canadian husbands have finished their high school education and only 20 % have completed post secondary education. On the other hand, 20% of the Filipino women finished secondary education, 30% have completed vocational or have reached second year college education and 50% completed post-secondary education. Table 2.1 shows the level of education of each of the women participants in the study and their husbands. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 24 Table 2.1 Educational Level of the Women Participants and their Husbands Partners Educational Level Wrfe One Husband One 2nd yr. college High school WrfeTwo Husband Two Vocational High school Wrfe Three Husband Three University Technical Wrfe Four Husband Four University University Wrfe Five Husband Five 2nd yr. College High school Wrfe Six Husband Six University High school Wrfe Seven Husband Seven University High school Wrfe Eight Husband Nine High school High school Wrfe Nine Husband Nine High school High school WrfeTen Husband Ten University University There seems to be a mismatch of most ofthe Filipino women- Canadian men intermarriage in this particular study because a great percentage of the Filipino women have higher educational level compared to their husbands. Only 20% of the women have husbands with the same level of education. The Filipino women- Canadian men intermarriage is similar to the Filipino women- Australian men intermarriage where the Filipino women have higher educational level than their husbands (Cahill, 1990, p.81). Filipino families place a high value on education. Parents are willing to send their Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 25 children especially the older siblings to colleges or universities with the expectation that when the older siblings have finished their education and have found employment, they in turn would help their parents send the younger siblings to school. It is ironic, however, that a lot of college/university graduates in the Philippines, could not find employment because of the economic conditions of the country. These graduates are forced to seek employment overseas. Other college or university graduates who are able to find employment in the home country, however, are not satisfied with their meager salary, so they also seek employment overseas. Occupation Eighty percent of the Filipino women were working in the service industry either as live-in caregivers, waitresses or tutors and 20% were practicing their profession when they met their Canadian husbands. Tables 3 and 4 shows the comparison of the occupational profile of the Filipino women at the time of the marriage and at the time of the interview. Table 3 Occupational Profile of Filipino- Canadian Intermarriage at the time ofMarriage Categories/Level Filipino wife Canadian husband Administrative/Professional 20% 10% Technical 0% 30% Labor/ Sales/ Service Industry 80% 60% Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 26 Table 4 Occupational Profile ofFilipino-Canadian Intermarriages at the time of the Interview Categories/level Filipino wife Canadian husband Administrative/Professional 10% 10% Technical 0% 30% Sales/ Labor/ Service Industry 50% 60% Housewife/ house husband 40% 0% As shown in Tables 3 and 4, a great percentage of both the Filipino women and their Canadian husbands are working in the service/sales/labor industry. Most of the men were working in the mills, logging camps, mining industry, or as taxi drivers while most of the women were working as live-in caregivers when they met each other. At the time of the interview, 40% of the women gave up paid employment to become housewives, but still a great majority is working in the service industry. The Cases The subsequent paragraphs give a brief description of the participants. To minimize associating the quotations with the description of the cases, and to safeguard the identity of the participants, another set of pseudonyms were given in the interview. Except for one, the rest of the participants gave me the option to choose the pseudonym. All the participants were born in the Philippines, are married to Canadians and have stayed in Canada for a period of 2-17 years. Fifty percent of the participants came under the LCP and their Canadian husbands sponsored the other 50%. Those who came under the LCP are Wife One, Wife Two, Wife Three, Wife Four and Wife Five. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 27 Wife One She came to Canada under the LCP in the early 1990s after working in Hong Kong as a domestic helper. She had reached second year in college but was unable to get a diploma. She has a child from a previous marriage with a fellow Filipino from whom she was separated. She met her Canadian husband while working as a live-in caregiver, and got married after a year of courtship. Her Canadian husband, who is 14 years older than her, had four children from the previous marriage. She now works in the service industry as a kitchen helper while her husband works as a taxi-driver. They have a child and have been married for five years. Wife Two Wife Two also came to Canada under the LCP, from Hong Kong. She is a midwife but could not practice midwifery because her credentials are not recognized in Canada. She met her husband in a Filipino party that she attended and after eight months of courtship, got married. Her husband has two children from previous relationship. She was 38 and he was 45 when they got married in 1997. She has not worked since she got married except being a housewife. They have no children in the marriage. Wife Three Wife Three was already 36 years old when she married her husband of 42. She came to Canada as a nanny in the middle of 1980s. She belongs to the same religious denomination as her husband' s. She was a teacher in the Philippines before working as a domestic helper in Hong Kong and in Canada. She has never been married but her husband has one child from the previous marriage. Although she has no child in the marriage, she is happily married for 15 years. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 28 Wife Four Wife Four was also a teacher but did not practice her profession even when she was in the Philippines. Instead, she went to Hong Kong to work as a domestic helper for the higher pay that she will get. After a stint in Hong Kong, she came to Canada under the LCP. She met her husband, who is an engineer, through her sister who is also married to a Canadian. She has never been married but her husband was divorced and has no children from the previous marriage. They got married in the Catholic Church although her husband is not a Catholic. They were both 28 when they got married. They have one child now, and have been married for six years. She still works as a caregiver and takes care of a physically disabled child. Wife Five Wife Five came to Canada under the LCP after working in Hong Kong for a period of ten years. She was a single mother when she came and has one child, whom she left in the Philippines while working overseas. She met her husband through a friend. Her husband has two children from previous marriage. They got married when she was 38 and he was 54. They have no children in the present marriage but her love child, whom she sponsored after she got married, lives with them. She works in the service industry as a chambermaid and her husband, in a logging camp. Like Wife One, she was also unable to get her diploma in college. She has been married with her Canadian husband for six years. Their Canadian husbands sponsored Wife Six, Wife Seven, Wife Eight, and Wife Nine to Canada while Wife Ten came together with her husband who she met while Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 29 working overseas. Wife Six., Wife Seven, and Wife Eight met their husbands through pen pal writing. Wife Six Wife Six met her husband in person, after two years of pen-pal writing. She has completed a Bachelor of Science degree in Sociology, but she worked as a nanny in Hong Kong instead of practicing her profession in the Philippines. She said that she did it for higher pay. Wife Six found her husband's name advertised in the paper and wrote him just for the fun of it. She was working as a domestic helper when they were both writing to each other. She was impressed with the letters he was sending her because he always talked about religion. When she went home to the Philippines after working in Hong Kong, he visited her in the Philippines and got married afterwards. Her husband has a child from a previous relationship. They got married when she was 34 and he was 44 years of age. He then sponsored her to Canada and now they have one child. She is now a housewife but she earns money by baby sitting and working in the service industry on occasion. She has been married for four years. Wife Seven Wife Seven is a teacher by profession but had also worked as a domestic helper in Saudi Arabia for a while. She went back to teaching when her contract in Saudi Arabia was finished. Her Canadian husband was a pen pal and after two years of exchanging letters, he visited the Philippines and proposed marriage. They were married in the Philippines and she came to Canada a year later. She has three children from her previous marriage to a fellow Filipino and her Canadian husband has one. Her children from the previous marriage live with them. Wife Seven' s husband is 15 years older than Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 30 she is. They have one child in the marriage and have been married for 10 years. She is now a housewife and works on a farm on call. Wife Eight Wife Eight gave me a special pseudonym and she said she does not mind if readers from the Filipino community will be able to identifY her through her story. She said that her marriage was a dream come true because she thought she would not be able to get married because of her condition. She was a blue baby when she was small, and had a stroke at the tender age of 14. She was unable to go to college but she was a prolific storywriter. While in the Philippines, she had her works published locally. She also earned her keeps by tutoring children in the neighborhood. Like Wife Six, Wife Eight found her would-be husband' s name advertised in the paper. She responded to the advertisement and they exchange letters for two years. He visited the Philippines and got married there. She was 32 and he was 38 years of age. She came to Canada after a year, and has been nine years married. She is now a housewife with two lovely children. Wife Nine Wife Nine is the youngest in the group of participants and has been here in Canada for about two years. She met her husband while working as a waitress in the Philippines. Her husband was visiting the Philippines and he used to frequent the place where she was working. They got married after a whirlwind courtship and she was sponsored to come to Canada within a year. She got married at the age or 21 to her Canadian husband who is 20 years older than she is. She is now a housewife taking caring of their child. She has been married for three years. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 31 Wife Ten Wife Ten is a university graduate from the Philippines and had worked as a project coordinator overseas before corning to Canada with her Canadian husband. She met her husband in workplace where she was working as a project coordinator. Her husband, who is just two years older than her, is a teacher by profession. They were both never married, got married in the country where they were both working, and then came to Canada after the contract overseas was finished. She still works as a project coordinator, has one child and is happily married for 10 years. The Filipino women who were interviewed seemed to be happy although the profile shows that there is a great marital distance between the educational background, age, religion, and previous marital status. For one, the age difference between them is a significant nine years on the average. Religion is also different because all of the husbands are non-Catholics. A great percentage of the women were never married when they met their husband while 70% of the husbands were divorced. With regards to the educational profile, most of the women completed college education while more than half of the husbands finished high school. Given these findings, the Filipino women Canadian men intermarriage in this study leaned towards the liberating paradigm of intermarriage as opposed to the stunting paradigm. The liberating paradigm "suggests that as a direct function of the marital distances they must cross, intermarrying couples must commit themselves even more strongly and work even more consistently in making their marriage work, thus resulting in greater marital stability" (Cahill, 1990, p. 4). Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 32 The Interview The participants spoke openly about the Filipino cultural practices that were brought into the marriage. They claimed that they are aware of the cultural practices and differences but did not consider them as big issues that affected the relationships. They were able to compromise those practices/differences, which they think would seriously affect the relationship, and practice those they think are acceptable. Many of the Filipino women found their husbands to be accommodating of the Filipino culture. Rinaldo ( 1996) called this form of adjustment as symmetrical solution where the partners make necessary adjustments by giving up some elements ofhis/her culture. Most of the participants also gave credit to the qualities of a Filipino woman like being hardworking, caring, persevering, and being homebodies. The topics discussed with the Filipino women participants were limited to the Filipino cultural practices/patterns brought into marriage, how they resolve cultural differences to keep the marriage intact and stable, their attitude towards intermarriage, the qualities they think they posses that help resolve differences, the advantages and disadvantages of intermarriage. Filipino Cultural Practices /Patterns Filipinos, by nature, are family oriented. We value close family ties. We are also devoted to our family of origin such that although we are already living afar from our parents or relatives, we send goods or money or call the family members in the Philippines quite often. We also feel responsible to help the members of the family who are in need, as the members of the family who are in the Philippines look up to us for help. Buttny (1987) cited this Filipino relations with family and kin called "utang na Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 33 loob" (one feels obligated to help parents and kin) and found that it affected the FilipinoAmerican intermarriage. It also brought in-law problems when the Filipino wife is unable to help the family of origin. Ninety percent of the women who were interviewed in this study said that they send money or " balikbayan" boxes (boxes full of goods) to the Philippines. Dina: He sends money to the Philippines, We send lots of"balikbayan" boxes to my youngest brother. I send one of my nephews to schooL My husband ... he is very generous. When I was working as a nanny in Hong Kong, I also send money back home because my father had an accident Jackie: I don't earn money because I am a housewife, but my husband used to send money to my brother. He is helping my brother pay his tuition in college. He knows that we are poor and so he is helping out However, right now, we are not in a position to send money because he was laid off from work. Merle: I used to send money when I was working as a nanny, however, when I got married I just stayed in the house, so my husband sends money to my brother. Before I got married to him, I went to the Philippines so my brother talked to him via the videotape and he told my husband not to get upset whenever they ask help from me because we are not a rich family. Martha: I explain to him our close family ties. That it is our obligation to help brothers or sisters who are in need and that we have to help our parents and he understands that He sometimes gives money to my parents. Dina, Merle, Jackie and Martha expressed similar experiences on their husband's acceptance of their practice of sending assistance to their family of origin. However, Elvira, Girlie, Fantasia and Terry expressed that sending money to their parents or relatives is sometimes an issue. Their husbands do not want to be bothered about it, so the women said that whatever money or goods they send to the home country come from their own hard earned savings. Elvira: I send money to the Philippines even when I was working in Hong Kong. I still send money even if I am here in Canada, but I get it from whatever I save from my earnings. I don't ask money from my husband. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 34 Girlie: I send money whenever I could but I don't ask my husband for money. I save it from my small earnings. Terry: I have a big family. He does not understand that we have to help our family back home. I am close to my parents, brothers and sisters. I send one of my nephews to college so I send him some money for his tuition fee and my husband does not like it. Sometimes, I just don't tell him that I send money home so I just save money from my earnings and send it home without him knowing it or else I will hear something from him. That is why I really work hard to earn money. Fantasia: I send money to my parents only when there are occasions, because I am just a housewife. But I helped my sister who came here a year ago by letting her stay with us temporarily. On Child Rearing Practices Filipinos also differ from Canadians in child rearing. Most Filipino women are quite authoritative and overprotective when rearing their children. They find their Canadian husband to be more permissive in disciplining a child. The Filipino wife would also like their children to know the native language and to be familiar with the Filipino culture as much as possible. Elvira: It is better to be more strict for the kids [sic], so they have more discipline. That is what I tell to my husband [sic]. He don't [sic] really discipline his own kids. He is not strict to [sic] his kids ... He lets them go and do what they want to do. I bring up my child the Filipino way. Terry: My husband does not know how to talk to my son. He does not know that we Filipinos are sensitive. He should be careful with his words when talking because at times, he hurts my son's feelings. Nona: I bring up my daughter with him the Filipino way. I teach my daughter some words and she understands some although she cannot speak the language. I want my daughter to know about our culture so that if ever she will go to the Philippines, she will understand what they are talking about. I also tell my daughter that she should eat Filipino food because we don't have steak in the Philippines. Girlie: I don't like it when he shouts at our son. He thought I spoil my son, but I don't like it when my husbands swears and when he uses bad words. We Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 35 seldom use bad words when I was growing up with my parents, so I get mad at my husband. Financial Management In a traditional Filipino household, the wife is usually the "treasurer". She is expected to know how much money to save and spend. The Filipino husband usually gives his paycheck to his wife. This tradition is based on the marriage rituals where the man, during the marriage ceremony, hands a bunch of coins to the woman as a sign of trust. However, in the Filipino wife-Canadian husband intermarriage, the Filipino wife finds that the Canadian husband usually keeps the money, does the budgeting, and will just give the wife some allowance. The participants expressed that it took a lot of explaining and effort on their part to prove that they could be entrusted of the coffers before they were given the chance to hold the purse. Dina: Well, I told him that in the Philippines, the wife is the "treasurer'' ofthe family who budgets the expenses for the month and that the husband gives his paycheck to the wife. I explained to him the since I am a Filipino, I should be entrusted to do that and it was fine with him. He respects our culture. Martha: It used to be that he does the budgeting. Now he gives me the money and I do the budgeting. Just like what we do in the Philippines. I am careful with finances. Sometimes, he just spends and spends even for unnecessary things. I tell him that we have to save. Fantasia: It was only lately that he entrusted me of the budget. I showed him that I could do it. You see, he does not know how to save money. So I told him, that we have to save a part of his salary. So from then on, he gives me his paycheck. I list all our expenses, and how much we should save from his salary. Terry: I do the budgeting but he always interferes. It seems like it is only money that matters. He does not want me to buy things, which he thinks is useless. I am not extravagant and I am careful when I spend money. I don' t buy expensive things. He does not buy new clothes. He has been wearing those clothes for 10-20 years. But I also want to buy something new. Sometimes, when I want to buy something I just go ahead and buy it and then I will show it to him after I have bought the thing. I get it from my earnings anyway. Sometimes he gets mad, but I don't care. I worked hard for it. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 36 Elvira, Merle and Girlie have yet to experience holding the purse in the household. Elvira and Girlie said they just keep the money that they earn for themselves and contribute with whatever they could in the household expenses. Merle said that her husband just gives her some money, which she seldom spends. Elvira: He takes care of his own money and I care of my own earnings. However, he pays most of the bills. I take care of our insurance and I sometimes buy groceries. I don't ask money from him. Merle: He pays the bills and I am learning to do the budget. He knows I can be trusted with his money because I don' t spend on unnecessary things. Girlie: He does not give me money except a small amount for the groceries, which is not enough for a month, s budget for the groceries. He pays our rent and some bills, but whatever is left, he spends it all for himself I try to earn some money to make ends meet. But you see, he even ask me to pay for his gas whenever I ask him to bring me to work when I go baby sitting, so sometimes, I just take the bus. "Kamay an" "Kamayan" is a way of eating food without using spoon or fork. Most of the time, "kamayan" is practiced in the rural areas in the Philippines. Bare hands are used when eating and banana leaves are used as plates. There are even restaurants in the Philippines called "Kamayan" where the customers can choose to eat with bare hands if they wanted to. Spoons and forks are given when requested. Dina, Jackie, Merle and Girlie said they use "kamayan" on occasion. However, they have abandoned the practice and just do it once in a while. Dina: Whenever I feel like eating using "kamayan", I do it and just excuse myself for it. Once, when my mother-in-law came to visit us and we were having dinner in the "formal table", I told her to excuse my eating with my bare hands. She just said " That is fine, although it bothers me a little bit. You are already a member of the family so why not". Jackie: With him, it is okay, but I cannot do it when eating with his friends. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 37 Merle: I can eat with my bare hands (without spoon or fork). It does not bother him at all, but I do not always do it. Only when I feel like it. Girlie: When we eat our meals, I sometimes eat with my bare hands and it does not bother him at all. The fmdings in this Filipino-Canadian intermarriage about the Filipino cultural practices/patterns brought into the marriage are somewhat similar to some of the findings by Hunt and Coller (1957) and Cahill (1990). Both studies in 1957 and 1990 mentioned the cultural contrast in the management of family finances, child rearing, and family relations. Besides the different cultural practices, the Filipino-Canadian intermarriage differs in a lot of ways. Many of the Canadian husbands love the Filipino food, except for some authentic Filipino food which we call the "poor man' s diet" consisting of"bagoong" and ''tuyo". There are two kinds of "bagoong". The "bagoong isda " which is called salted anchovies and the "bagoong alamang" which is called tiny shrimp paste. "Bagoong isda" is preserved small fishes in salt and is the source of fish sauce. "Bagoong alamang" is preserved small shrimp sauce. Both are very salty and smelly but it adds flavor to the Filipino cuisine. They both enhanced the flavor of particular Filipino food, which are favorites of many Filipinos. "Tuyo" which is called dried fish is also a "poor man' s diet" in the Philippines. It is also quite salty and really smells bad when fried. "Bagoong" and ''tuyo" are called "poor man' s diet" because both are very cheap in the Philippines and are often eaten by the poor people especially with rice and boiled vegetables. Many of the Filipinos living outside their country of origin, although literally not "poor", crave for Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 38 "bagoong" and "tuyo" once in a while, and they usually ask relatives to send them packages of the said items. Terry: During the first year of our marriage, I only cook Canadian food, but I slowly introduced to him our Filipino food. Now, he eats some Filipino food especially "sinigang na baboy"( sour pork soup) and adobo (pork or chicken cooked in vinegar, garlic and soya sauce). He also eats a little bit of rice. I can now cook "tuyo" or "dilis" but I cook it outside because it is quite smelly and he complains about the smell. Martha: He eats some of the Filipino food except dried fish because he finds it stinky and smelly. I cook it outside when I feel like eating it and he understands that once in a while I want to eat dried fish. I don't force him to eat food that he does not want. Fantasia: He does not eat "bagoong". He became allergic to some of our food, so he does not eat Filipino food anymore. I cook Filipino food when he is not around. But when he is here, I seldom do that because he complains of the smell. Nona: I cook Filipino food whenever I feel like cooking and then I have a separate menu for him. I put everything on the table and the children just select what they want. If I want to fry dried fish like "dilis", I do it ahead of time. He eats some Filipino food but not "bagoong", "dilis", squid or fish. I don't force him to eat the food that he does not like but he should let us eat the food that we like. Girlie: He eats Filipino food except "sinigang na ulo ng isda" (sour fish head soup), dried fish, "bagoong", rice noodles, and "pinakbet" (boiled vegetables with "bagoong"). So what I do is I cook food for him and another one for me. Whenever I feel like eating dried fish, then he just close our bedroom door. He can't do otherwise ifl feel like eating dried fish. Sometimes I cook it outside because of the smell. One time, the smell of the fried dried fish woke him up. I just love dried fish. Ana: I have no problem with him as far as Filipino food is concerned. He almost eats all our Filipino food except "dinuguan"(animal blood curry). We have the same taste in food. Jackie: He eats Filipino food except "tuyo" because he said it is stinky. One time he got mad because I cooked ''tuyo" in the wintertime. Since then I avoid cooking it. I only get the chance to eat "tuyo" whenever to go visit my friends' house. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 39 Dina: I can cook all the stinky food I want. He has learned to love Filipino food. I told him he should learn how to eat other Filipino food, because if we go visit the Philippines, we cannot afford all the Canadian food that he eats here like the steak, because it is quite expensive. Merle: He eats Filipino food except "bagoong". He said he feels different when he sees "bagoong" but I told him that it is full of iron. He once tasted it in one of my friend ' s house. He thought the "bagoong alamang" is like a spread, but I said you have to eat it with rice. So since then he didn't like it. Elvira: He likes Filipino food, but there are certain foods that he doesn' t want to eat. I cook the Filipino food that I want. I also cook the food that he wants. If I crave for Filipino food, then I cook it. Sometimes, when I cook dried fish, I cook it outside because it smells. He doesn' t like the smell of the stinky fish and I have to respect him for that. He doesn' t mind ifl eat "bagoong" . He understands that I sometimes crave for the "daing, tuyo or bagoong". I don' t mind if he eats potato everyday, too. I don' t have problems eating Canadian food. Language Most of the Filipino women said that although they are able to communicate in the English language, they fmd it difficult to articulate their feelings especially during their first few years of stay in Canada because of the Filipino accent. At times they or their husbands miss cues in the language resulting to communication gap. The women have learned the correct usage of words because their husband would often tell them the correct word or pronunciation. Sometimes the women also teach their husbands some Filipino words. The women said that they do not consider the language a hindrance to the relationship because they can communicate from simple to advanced English. Some of the women said that their husbands do not mind if they speak the native language with their friends. There is only a small percentage who said that their husband usually get mad or feel uncomfortable when they speak the native language. Elvira: At first, I felt like .. . they look me down [sic] ... When I first came, I can not speak English well ... I felt left out when his relatives speak in English. I felt ... like an outsider. .. Now, ... I can speak English and he can understand a little Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 40 bit of "Tagalog". He is trying to learn to some "Tagalog" words. He doesn' t mind if I speak "Tagalog" to my friends ... to my daughter. I am free to use our language. Merle: My husband wants to learn our language so that when he goes home with me, he can understand what we are talking about. I cannot teach him well, so I told him that he should associate with other Filipinos. I think he is really interested to learn our language. He even went to the Library to look for a Filipino dictionary. One time, we went to Winnipeg, and he found an EnglishTagalog dictionary in the Mall, but I told him that we could get one from my sister who is a teacher in the Philippines. He is trying to read Filipino words. I can use our language when I talk to some friends and he doesn' t mind it. Jackie: Since I am new here, I find it difficult to talk in English. I can hardly express myself Sometimes I do not know some words in English. I want to speak ''Tagalog" with my friends and he doesn't mind it. But he wants me to read English books and newspapers and to speak in English as much as possible. He said it would help improve my English. I try to talk in English with his friends. Girlie: When I talk with my friends, I use our language and sometimes, I find it difficult to explain things to him whenever he asked me what we are talking about. Sometimes he does not understand what I am saying. I use our language when I talk to our son. Fantasia: He used to put me down, or laugh at me when I say the wrong words. Later in the marriage, he taught me how to pronounce or say things. I thought that my education was enough because I know how to speak English, but I realized that it wasn' t. Our accent affects the way we speak. But sometimes, I can't help say the wrong pronunciation of words. I told him that I can not change overnight. He learned a lot about me and I learned how to put up with him as we go along. Martha: It was difficult at first because he doesn' t understand our language. Even if we speak English, the meanings of some words are different. Sometimes I have to translate everything in English first before I speak. It is at the back of our mind. Sometimes I have to spell some of the words when he could not get what I want to say. Canadians speak so fast, so sometimes I don' t get what he is saying. My parents stay with us and they know very little English, so it is difficult for my husband to communicate with my parents. My parents and I talk in our language so I have to translate to my husband what we have talked about. He becomes uncomfortable especially when we mention his name in our conversation so I have to explain everything to him. He wanted to really participate in our conversation and he tries to listen at times. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 41 Nona: He gets mad when I talk Filipino with my children because he wanted to know what we are talking about. He wants us to talk in English all the time, but he cannot help it. We have to talk using our language because it is easier to communicate that way. I speak whenever I want to and I explain to him that this is my language. Sometimes we would argue and he will say that I am already Canadian, but I said, I am still Filipino by blood, so I will talk using the language whether he likes it or not. Terry: He wants me to always talk in English even to other Filipinos, but I tell him that I feel awkward when I speak English with other Filipinos. He wants my son to use English in the house so we speak English at home. Sometimes it is difficult to translate our language in English because of the vocabulary. Some words in Filipino have no equivalent in English. The problem that I always find in English is when I use the he or she because in our language we don't use that. Also when using the p and f so my pronunciation is really sometimes different. Our alphabet is different so our pronunciation of words is also different. Ana: I don't have any problem with him. I speak our language whenever I talk to other Filipinos and it doesn't bother him at all . The participants in this study did not have much difficulty in communicating with their husbands using the English language, unlike their cohorts who are married to Japanese or Swiss in Cahill' s (1990) study. This could be due to the fact the English is use as a method of instruction in the Philippines. The only difficulty the participants encountered in this study is the correct pronunciation and usage of some English words, but they are open and willing to learn new things. On the other hand, the Filipino women married to Japanese or Swiss men have to struggle learning how to speak Japanese or Swiss language. The women in Cahill' s study highlighted the importance oflearning the language of their husband for successful adjustment. Religion The women participants said that religion is not a source of conflict in the relationship. Although they differ in religion, their husbands allow them to pursue the ---~-- ----- Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 42 religion they want. The women said that sometimes, their husbands join them to church. They commented that most of the men are not churchgoers. Racial Discrimination With regards to the difference in skin color, the women said that their husband love their brown color and they do not find it as a source of conflict. Unlike the studies reported by Furlong ( 1968) and Rosenblatt et al. ( 1995), where the intermarried couples experienced alienation from one' s family, or pressures/stares from the public, 80% of the participants said they said that they have not experienced overt discrimination. Two of the participants, however, have this to say: Ana: I have not experienced overt discrimination just because of my color. Systemic and institutionalized, yes. Just because we did not get our education here, we cannot practice our profession. Also .. .just because we have our accent, they thought that we do not know anything ... that we are not as intelligent as they are ... that we are less intelligent ... because we are not that expressive ... we are not very articulate ... or that our grammar is wrong. So we have to prove to them that we really can do it despite the accent. Elvira: Sometimes .. . with my in-laws ... they look me down [sic]. .. when I first came ... ! can' t speak English well. I felt left out .. . when his relatives speak in English ... I felt like an outsider.. .later on they accepted me. Qualities that Help Resolve Cultural Differences/ Conflicts The Filipino women participants described themselves as hardworking, patient, understanding, flexible, persevering, and resilient. The values of "pakikisama" and "pakikibagay" are always incorporated in their married and social life. The word "pakikisama" or " pakikibagay" refers to a Filipino virtue, which has something to do with how one relates with other people. That means they know how to tune in or to please other people. They also describe themselves as " matiisin" (meaning they would try to carry all the burdens as much as possible or to make sacrifices for the loved ones, to ------------------------------------- Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 43 persevere). They don't have any vices like smoking or drinking, and that they are homebodies. Most of the women claimed that they just keep quiet when they are angry or just get out of the house to keep their cool. These are some of the qualities that the Filipino women talked about when I asked them the qualities that help resolve cultural differences and conflicts that come in their married life. Terry: I think that I am a very caring person. I also know how to compromise. I try to stick to my husband through thick and thin. I try to understand him as much as possible. I always think positive. I am also a jolly person and I work hard to be able to attain my goal. I am quite religious and make sure that I always consult the Lord whenever I make decisions. Martha: I don' t go to bars or drink. I am a homebody. I take care of his needs, cook and clean the house. Whenever there is conflict, we talk. We compromise. When I am angry, I just keep quiet, go somewhere. We learned to talk about our differences. Fantasia: I don' t go out. I am also "malambing" (show signs of endearment by hugging or kissing or use of endearing words). I am thrifty. I just don' t spend money. I used to keep quiet when I am angry, but my mother-in-law said that I have to voice out my opinion. That I should let them know that I am angry. Now, I just tell him what is in my mind but I am not pushy. I cook for him, wash the dishes, keep the house clean. These are the things that I don' t do when I was still single because I was quite dependent on my parents. My parents were quite protective of me because I was very sickly as a child. They always tell me what to do. Now that I am married and far away from my parents, I felt like I was empowered. I became independent and I learned how to do things. I think I have become a good housewife because I serve my husband and take care of my kids. I am "matipid" (thrifty), persevering and patient. I know how to save money. I do not dominate him. Nona: I am patient with him. I try to be a good housewife. I keep the house for him and take care of his needs. I think it is a give and take relationship. We try to solve our problems and I easily adjust to the Canadian way of life. Girlie: I don' t do the laundry but I do the cooking and cleaning. I really try to put up with him because I think he is quite immature even if he is 10 years older than I am. I don't drink like his former wife. I am patient especially when he becomes verbally abusive. I should have left him years ago, but I just can't. I pity him. He said he is going to commit suicide if I ever leave him. I am also a hard worker. I try to get as many jobs as I can and save as much as I can . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 44 because he does not give me money except for groceries which sometimes is not enough_ Ana: I am not individualistic_ I don't do things just for myself I think I am family oriented_ Before I do things I always think of the consequences it will bring to my family_ I know how to make "pakikisama or pakikibagay"_ I know when to compromise_ I can also easily adapt to situations_ That is probably the reason why most Filipino women survive_ I think that we are fleXIble _ I become assertive when problems come my way ____ I talk it over with my husband_ Unlike the Canadians who are expressive of their feelings, we, Filipinos tend to suppress it. When we are angry, we do not directly say how we felt When I am angry, I just keep quiet I don't nag my husband_ At times I leave the situation, get out __ go somewhere else and let things go. I think Canadians are very frank. They speak out and tell you when they are angry. They don't care if other people will hear it. One time, my husband got angry ... and my mother was in town ... visiting us ... Well, he didn't care less if my mother was there. . But I felt offended because it seems like he did not respect the presence of my mother. He should not have shown his anger because my mother was there. I felt like he embarrassed me in front of my mother. You know our " hiya" system ... the saving face in our culture. ...That if you embarrass somebody in a social setting.. . it is like of kiss of death in the relationship. Well maybe that is normal in their culture because when his parents visited us, they argued in front of me and it seemed like a normal thing for them to do. But they should have at least avoided arguing because I was there. That is what I avoid. So I just keep quiet and avoid arguments. I think husband and wife should not argue in front of relatives. But I have learned to accept it. My husband usually apologizes when I am already quiet. Then we will talk about whatever is bothering both of us... I think that when we want to say something, we say it indirectly, that we expect our husband to know what we mean. Sometimes our yes means no. We are also sensitive. We easily get hurt, but we know how to hide our feelings. Jackie: I think I am understanding. I am sensitive and easily get emotional. When there is a conflict between us I just keep quiet, lock myself in the room and cry. I have to just give in to what he wants to avoid conflict. I can also easily adjust. Dina: I am religious. I think that religion is the most important in our relationship. Our religion teaches us that "family is forever". In our religion, they want you to tell your husband that you love him everyday, every night We avoid argument. I don't nag him. We don't shout at each other. Merle: I think I can be trusted. I am also thrifty. I don't spend money easily. I stay at home all the time and so my husband is confident that when he comes home, he will find me there. I do the household chores. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 45 Elvira: For me, I don't go drinking ... I don't go bars [sic] ... This is the difference I have with all his former wives. I am the fourth wife. One more thing, I am " kuripof' (thrifty). We talk when there are conflicts. Like for example, his son ... who is 20 years old ... wanted to bring his girlfriend ... to stay with us. I said ... that is different already [sic] ... if he is bringing his girlfriend ... he has to buy his own food .. . I am not gonna cook food for them ... . and end up to be their nanny ... so my husband talked to his son ... so I. .. we talk to each other whenever we have conflict. On being a "Housekeeper'' The ideal Filipino family expects the wife to take good care of the family. In the rural areas in the Philippines, most Filipino wives and mothers see to it that the needs of the members of the family are met. Most often they are also submissive to the husbands. They cook food for the family, do the laundry and do other household chores. This is the traditional role of a Filipino wife. Exception to this are the Filipino households who could afford to hire domestic helpers, but still the wife sees to it that the household is properly managed. Most of the women participants practice this tradition in their Canadian household. Elvira: I also care for my husband ... I make sure they have nice clothes, nice things to wear and have food on the table ... well fed ... . House is clean .... Terry: I cook food for the family, but we share in some of the household chores. Girlie: I prepare the food he brings to his work. Jackie: I usually cook our food and do the laundry. Merle: One thing that he saw in me is that I attend to his needs. I make sure his clothes are clean, washed and ironed. He used to compare his life before when he has to do everything from laundry to cooking after coming home from work. Now, when he comes home from work, food is already on the table. Well, just like in the Philippines, when the father comes home from work, everything is ready for him. I cook dinner for him and food is ready when he comes home from work. So now, my husband is happy, he does not do the household chores. My sister-in-law said that her brother is lucky to have me because his former common law wife does not keep the house, that he was not happy with her. My husband Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 46 said he is lucky to have me, but I used to kid him that maybe he is just saying it. He also tells his friends about me. I think he is proud about me. One time, I met one of his co-worker and he jokingly said" Oh, so you are _ _wife. Well, don't cook delicious food for him. He is getting bigger". And I just laughed. Dina: I think my husband loves my own family more than his own family, because we show him that we care. One time, one of my nieces even served him dinner and he is not used to it. He would say," I am not a king, why are you doing this?" My niece would just say " because we appreciate and love you, Uncle". I have a Canadian acquaintance in our church and I learned that his wife is a Filipino, so I asked him why he chose a Filipino for a wife. He said that " My wife cooks my food ... when I come home, my shirt is folded ... . My wife does a lot of things for me ... I never had this before". The qualities mentioned by the participants in this study were similar to those of Cahill's (1990) study. The women gave emphasis upon their individual strength of character and personality as a key to adjustment process. This could suggest that these patterns of characteristics, perceived as necessary for a satisfactory married life, has been handed down by Filipino women from one generation to another. Conflict Resolution When asked if they would be comfortable to bring out their problems to professional mental health workers or counsellors, 90 % said they might consider the counsellor only as a last resort. They will first try to resolve the conflict by themselves. Eighty percent said they have not consulted a counsellor in the duration of their marriage. Elvira, Merle, and Girlie said that they would approach a counsellor of any color, provided they would be understood. At this point in time, the participants do not consider the issues on cultural differences as something that need consultation with professional counsellors. Elvira: I try to solve the problem between me and my husband first[ sic] ... if it does not solve [sic]. ..I think I have to go to a counsellor. That is the second step. We have to solve [sic] together first. I have not been to a counsellor, though, but I will go to any counsellor of whatever color. Merle: I have not been to a counsellor, but I think I will be comfortable bringing out my problems to a counsellor as long as he/she is a religious person or a pastor. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 47 Before we got married, his pastor talked to us and he said that I could talk to him whenever I will have problems even if I am Catholic, because we are both Christians, anyway. The pastor looks okay, but I do not have any problem as of yet. I will just probably consult a professional counsellor if and when we are already at the point of breaking up. Girlie: I think I can bring out my problems to a counsellor, but I have not been to a counselling session. I think I can still solve the problems myself, but if in case things will turn out worst, then, maybe that is the time for me to go. Jackie and Ana expressed that they would prefer counsellors who know how to speak the native language. They believe that they would be able to express their concerns well in the native language. Ana said that she has no idea which government agency to approach if things will go worse. Nona, on the other hand, said that she has no need for a counsellor. Jackie: I think I can bring my problem to a counsellor, but I would prefer one who understands our language because it is easy to express oneself when we use our language. I have not experienced going to a counsellor. Ana: I do not know. I don' t even know where I could reach a counsellor, how to reach them or I don' t know any counsellor... whom to approach when there is a big problem. I think that before I come out and bring my problem to a counsellor, I will still have to find out from others if the counsellor is good and could be trusted. I think I will get the opinion of others. Unless somebody tells me that the counsellor is really good ... . I will not just go see him/her. I think that I am not an isolated case. I do not know.. . I think.. . going to a counsellor is not part of our culture. But I think that if in case I would not be able to handle the situation, I would rather go to a counsellor who has the same cultural background as I do. I believe that the more similar we are, the more comfortable we get. But I think that when problems come my way, I become assertive. I have not had any problem that needs help from the outside. Nona: I do not think I need outside help. I have not had any counselling and I will not be comfortable to bring out whatever problem I have. I will try to solve it myself Fantasia said that she was able to seek some advice from a Filipino friend when she was having some problems with her husband while Martha and Terry seek the help of a pastor. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 48 Fantasia: I had the experience of asking help from a fellow Filipino for advice, so I think I could bring out my problem to a professional counsellor of whatever color. Martha: I think I can talk to a counsellor if I will have problems, but so far we are doing okay. I don't have any problems with him. Terry: I have been to our pastor for counselling. Whenever I have problems with my husband, I talk to our pastor and it helps me a lot. Attitude towards Intermarriage During the course of the interview, the participants were asked about the advantages and disadvantages of intermarriage. They said that although there are cultural differences in the marriage, they were able to deal with the issues satisfactorily. Sixty percent of the women who were interviewed said that they are financially secure. Seventy percent of the women own their dwellings. They said that assimilation and integration with the dominant group was easier and faster. Although a few participants expressed some dissatisfaction, the quotations that follow indicate that they are quite satisfied with their mamage. Martha: We have a house of our own. I have a job, he has his. I can help my parents. That is good enough. Elvira: I got married when I was young to a fellow Filipino, but I think that my husband now is dedicated [sic]. He goes home after work. He is loving. I feel I am more stable now, financially than before. Ana: I have equal footing with my husband. He allows me to pursue my career. We share in the household chores. Probably ifl am married to a Filipino, I will be overburdened with work. I would probably be doing the household chores, in addition to my employment, because of the tradition that the wife should stay at home, cook for the family, clean the house, take care of the kids. My assimilation was also faster because my husband explains ... I can easily understand their perspective. I think that my husband is committed to our marriage. I know that he is faithful to me. He does not need to play around because there is divorce here in Canada. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 49 Terry: He accepted me as I am. He did not care about my past, or my status in life. Nona: One of the advantages in the intermarriage is the opportunity to stay in Canada. The disadvantage though, is that some Canadians do not know how to deal with oldies (parents) especially if the in - laws live with them. I have a friend whose husband does not go along fine with her parents. It is because she does not explain the culture to her husband. She should tell her husband that in the Filipino culture, the problem of one is the problem of all. Fantasia: Canadians are very impersonal. Looks like they don't care. Unlike in the Philippines, where we could borrow things from our neighbors, here we cannot even borrow things from his brother who lives just a few blocks from here. The women were also asked to rate some statement about intermarriage. This was done to validate the information obtained in the interview. The women agreed with most of the presumed advantages of intermarriage when they rated the rating scale by Cahill (1990). Seventy percent of the women agreed that their family of origin benefited from their marriage in one way or another because they can send money home. Although some of the women said that they do not asked money from their husband, some said that their husbands also help in many ways. Sixty percent said that they are also happy to have children who have blue eyes, brown hair and white skin. Fifty percent agreed that life is easier here than in the Philippines because they said that household chores are made easy because of electronic equipment. They commented that in the Philippines, only the upper middle class could afford electronic equipment like the washer/dryer and other household appliances. Fifty percent also feel lucky to live here in Canada and that they feel glamorous too, because they are well entertained whenever they come home to the Philippines. Eighty percent of the women said they have not experienced discrimination in the neighborhood. Ninety percent said that they do not have any problems with in-laws because they seldom see their in-laws. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women so Table 5 Freguency of Agreement/Disagreement on the Presumed Advantages and Disadvantages of Intermarriage 1= so 2= 0 3 = U 4=A 5=SA Presumed Advantages of Intermarriage 1. It is prestigious to have a husband who is a foreigner. 2 4 4 2. If a Filipino wife woman marries a foreigner, it is more likely that she will have a home of her own equipped with modem gadgets and appliances. 4 0 6 3. In general, life is easier in a foreign land than in the 5 0 5 3 2 6 3 2 5 5 1 4 7. One bonus of an intercultural marriage is that the Filipino wife can travel abroad. 4 0 6 8. The Filipino wife's family back home also benefits from an intercultural marriage because she can send some money home. 3 0 7 3 1 6 1 =SO 2=0 3=U 4=A 8 0 2 9 0 1 Philippines. 4. The Filipino wife gets even more glamorous when she makes her home in the foreign land. 5. In a Filipino-foreigner marriage, the wife is luckier than the husband. 6. The husband should earn enough to enable his wife and kids to visit the Philippines every few years. 9. It is more likely that one will have lovely children if one's husband is non-Filipino. Presumed Disadvantages 10. In a foreign country, a Filipino wife often meets some discrimination from other women in the neighborhood. 11 . It is difficult to have a foreign mother-in-law. 5=SA Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 51 Table 5 below shows the frequency of agreement/disagreement on the presumed advantages and disadvantages of intermarriage by the women participants. The statements, taken from Cahill (1990), were read to the women participants and they were asked to rate the statements using the following category: 1 = Strongly Disagree (SD), 2 =Disagree (D), 3 = Undecided (U), 4 =Agree (A), 5 =Strongly Agree (SA). It is quite surprising that the women did not use the scales 1 and 5. Although I clearly pointed out each category, most of them just agreed or disagreed or say that they are undecided. This explains why the scale looks like a three-point scale. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 52 CONCLUSION This study showed that Filipino cultural practices/differences brought into the marriage are not a barrier to a stable marital relationship. The women participants b4ve learned to compromise for the betterment of the relationship because they see marriage as a lifetime commitment. They acknowledged that they probably exerted more effort than those who have intramarriages, but they have learned to respect each other' s differences and learn from each other' s culture. The women tried to bridge the differences by playing the role of a traditional Filipino wife: that of a submissive, obedient, and caring wife. Many of the women said they just keep quiet when they are angry or leave the situation when things become confrontational. Some of the women participants commented on the fate of Filipino women who become assertive. These women, they added, run the risk of getting into the cobweb of divorce. During the course of the interview, some of the participants could not help mention the story of one Filipino woman who asserted her rights, and now faces deportation after fleeing from an abusive relationship. I could sense from their comments that they sympathized with the woman, that they were happy she took the courage to come out in the open and to seek help, but partly blame her for not being "matiisin" (persevering) and for not knowing how to make "pakikisama"(good interpersonal relations). The women participants credited these qualities as contributors to a stable relationship. Results also showed that although there are distinct cultural differences in the marriage, the Filipino women were able to negotiate the differences positively. The Filipino cultural practices did not affect the marriage to a great extent. The Filipino cultural practices that were brought into the marriage, which are accommodated by the Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 53 their husband are as follows : the sending of"balikbayan" boxes or money to the parents or relatives, the management of finances where they are eventually given the chance to take care of the household budget, child rearing practices where they are given the option to discipline children, and "kamayan" or the practice of eating with bare hands. The Filipino women claimed they educate their husband by explaining how the Filipino culture works and that they find their husband to be quite accepting and tolerant. I believe that both the husband and the wife in this relationship are willing to accept things that are different and that they are willing to get around the roadblocks in the marriage. Both are open to new situations and willing to try new things. Other differences such as language, food, religion, and race were likewise not considered a hindrance to the relationship. The participants are able to communicate with their husband in English so language is not a concern. Only 20% of the women indicated that their husbands get mad when they speak in the native language, but they speak the language anyway when they talk to their fellow Filipinos. Many of the women indicated that their husband expressed interest in learning the Filipino language. Likewise, religion is not a big issue because their husbands allow them to pursue the religion they want. With regards to food, they said that except for "tuyo" and "bagoong", their husbands love the Filipino cuisine. The women also said that they are very caring and they see to it that their husbands and children are attended to. In addition, they do not smoke, drink or go to bars. They consider themselves as homebody, thrifty, flexible, hardworking and persevering. On the question as to their comfort level for consulting mental health professionals or counsellors for problems, they generally replied that they would only do so when they feel that could not contain the problem anymore. Many Filipino women would rather Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 54 seek emotional assistance from families and friends before they come for professional help. Most Filipinos do not usually seek help from "outsiders". It takes courage to reveal oneself and one' s family to an "outsider''. At times, they find it embarrassing. One of the participants even expressed lack of knowledge for institutions that offer counselling. Schumacher and Guthrie (1984) found that non-Filipino counsellors dealing with Filipino clients must be attuned to "Philippine nuances and encourage solutions congruent with widely held beliefs about family values and individual sensitivities". The positive attitude of the participants on intermarriage indicates that they are quite satisfied with the relationship. The average length ofmarriage, which is 7.1 years, could also indicate that they are able to keep the marriage intact, despite the differences. The general profile ofthe 10 intermarried Filipino immigrant women in this study indicates that she is nine years younger than her husband, is working in the service industry, has completed collegiate education, has one child in the present marriage, seven years married and is quite satisfied with the marriage. I consider this study to be significant despite the limited number of participants, because I was able to get the perspective of the women. They were able to share their stories, which they consider as something to be kept to themselves. Their stories could be considered a "giant leap" that may help counsellors to understand the Filipino women's values and beliefs, to reach out to them, to understand their nuances and sensitivities. Limitations and recommendations This study would probably be more enriching if I included the husbands in the interview, but because of the fear that the husbands would reject the participation, I deemed it wise to exclude them. Buttny (1987), and Hunt and Coller (1957) only Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 55 interviewed the American husbands who have Filipino wives. Catapusan (1938) interviewed only the Filipino husbands married to Americans. Cahill (1990) interviewed the Filipino women married to Japanese, Swiss, and Australian men and failed to get the participation of the Japanese men. I would also recommend a research on divorced Filipino women to be able to compare how the cultural practices affected their marriage, but I would suspect that this would be a very sensitive issue. The women expressed preference for helpers whose background is similar to theirs. Inclusion of more bicultural or bilingual counsellors in different mental health services of the government could help encourage the women to come out and seek help and not wait until the pail overflows. This could help promote good mental health and become good members of the society as Canadian citizens. Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 56 References Alouise, H.J. (1998). Interracial marriages and the effects on children. Annotated bibliography. (1999, June 16). URL: www.udayton.edu/rrace/annotate /898alouise.htm [1999, January]. www.altavista.com A page for Philippine prehistory. (1998). http://www.geocities.com/capitolhill/senate/5727/people2.html [1999,January] Barron, M. L. ((1971). Intergroup aspects of choosing a mate. In M.L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp.36-48). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Bautista, V. (1998). The Filipino Americans: Their history, culture and traditions. URL: www.cctr.umkc.edu/wicc/Inter' l.html [1999,January]www.altavista.com Biesanz, J. and Smith L. M. (1951). Adjustment of interethnic marriages on the Isthmus of Panama. In M.L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp.260-267). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Burnette, E. (1995). The APA monitor. htttp:// www.apa.org/monitor/Sept95/race.html [1999,January], www.altavista.com Bustamante, R.E. ( 1998). Filipino Canadians: a growing communitv. In 1984 Polyphony, Vol. 6, pp. 168-171. URL: www.schoolnet.ca/collections/magic/mt60.html, [1999, January] www.altavista.com Burma, J.H. (1963). Interethnic marriages in Los Angeles, 1948-1959. In M.L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp.129-146). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Buttny, R. (1987). Legitimation techniques for intermarriage. Communication Quarterly, 32, (2), 125-143. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 57 Cahill, D. (1990). Intermarriages in international context: a study ofFilipina women married to Australian, Japanese and Swiss men. Quezon City, Philippines: Scalabrini Migration Center. Canada Year Book 1965: 205. In M.A. Richard (Ed.), Ethnic groups and marital choices (p.9). Vancouver: UBC Press. Catapusan, B. (1938) Filipino intermarriage problems in the United States. Sociology and Social Research, 22, 265-72. Concini, J.M. (1998). Indians and Pakistanis who choose to marry interculturally. www.altavista.com Congressional Record. Daily ed., 4 May 1994.p5179-5194. http://www. personal. umich. ~ stat.html, [ 1998, December] www.altavista.com Edraline, M.D. (1998). Filipino history, culture, and heritage, emergence of the Filipino people. URL:asnic.utexas.edu/asnic/countries/philipp ... hilippines.html [1998,December], www.altavista.com Fu, X and Heaton T .B. ( 1998) Interracial marriage in Hawaii 1983-1994. New York: Edwin Mellen Press. www.altavista.com Furlong, W.B. ( 1968). Interracial marriage is a sometime thing. In M.L. Barron (Ed.) The blending American (pp.112-128). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Gordon, A.I. (1964) Intermarriage: What it is? In M.L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp.6-12). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Hunt, C. and Coller, R (1957) Intermarriage and cultural change: A study of Filipino-American marriages. Social Forces, 35, 223-303. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 58 Labov, T. and Jacobs, J .A. (1986). Intermarriage in Hawaii, 1950- 1983. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 48, 79-88. Mirriam, S. B. ( 1988). Case study research in education. California: Jossey-Bass Inc. Merton, R.K. (1941). Intermarriage and the social structure: Fact and theory. In M .L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp. 12-35). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Nakpil, C.G. (1976). In G. Lollobrigida (Ed.) The Philippines. Italy: Salani Publishing House. Palys, T. ( 1997). Research decisions: Quantitative and qualitative perspectives. Canada: Harcourt Brace and Co. Pedersen, P.B., Fukuyama, M ., and Heath, A. (1989). Client, counselor, and contextual variables in multicultural counseling. In P .B. Pedersen, J.G. Draguns, W.J. Lonner, and J.E. Trimble (Ed.), Counseling across cultures (pp.23-52). Honolulu: University of Hawaii Press. Pe-Pua, R. ( 1989). "Pagtatanong-tanong"; A cross-cultural research method. International Journal oflntercultural Relations, 13,147-163. Profile 1995. An analysis of immigration to British Columbia. Victoria: Immigration Policy Branch, Ministry Responsible for Immigration and Multiculturalism. Richard, M.L. (1991). Ethnic groups and marital choices. Vancouver: UBC Press. Rinaldo, P.M. ( 1996). Marrying the natives. New York: DorPete Press. Rosenblatt, P.C, Karis, T.A. , and Powell, R.D. (1995) Multiracial couples. California: Sage Publications. Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 59 Schumacher, H. E . and Guthrie, G.M. (1984). Culture and counseling in the Philippines. Intercultural Journal oflntercultural Relations, 8, 241-253. Strauss, AL. (1954). Strain and harmony in American-Japanese war-bride marriages. In M.L. Barron (Ed.), The blending American (pp.268-281). Chicago: Quadrangle Books. Statistics Canada. 1998. www.statcan. [1998, December] The Philippine history and today. (1998, May). http: //www.filipinolinks.com/arts/kasaysayan.html, [1999, February] www.altavista.com Trosino, J. (1998). American wedding: Same-sex marriage and the miscegenation analogy. 73 B.U.L. Rev. 93. URL:www.udayton.edu/rrace/annotate, [1998,December] www.altavista.com Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 60 APPENDIX A Letter to the Participants/ Consent Form Dear "Kabayan," [an endearing word use to address a person from the same town or country] I am a graduate student in the Masters of Education program at the University of Northern British Columbia, working on a project about intermarriages of Filipino immigrant women in Prince George. The purpose of this study to find out the Filipino culture patterns, religious and racial differences that seems to affect the marriage; how you as a Filipino woman resolve the differences and your attitude towards intermarriage. The study needs participation of Filipino women who have interracial marriages and I would like to solicit your help in this regard. I will conduct an interview to ask the cultural practices you brought into the marriage, your insights on racial/cultural differences affecting the marriage, how you, as a Filipino woman, resolve racial/cultural differences and your attitude toward intermarriage in general. This will be your story. Pseudonyms will be used to keep your identity confidential. If you find the interview uncomfortable, you may decline to participate at any time or either for the remainder of the interview. You are likewise entitled to request that the previously collected data be destroyed if you decide not to continue participating in the study. Please be assured that collected data will be kept securely in a file and will be destroyed after the analysis has been made. Results of this study may help multicultural counsellors to better understand the Filipino women' s psyche. For further information, I could be reach out at 564-0488 or you could contact my supervisor, Dr. Peter MacMillan at the University of Northern British Columbia, 9605828. Results of the study will be shared with you upon request. Thank you very much for your participation. Very truly yours, Editha R de Rarna MEd. candidate Educational Counselling University of Northern British Columbia Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 61 Consent Form: This is to acknowledge that I am aware of the nature of the study, that I have read the letter of Editha R de Rama, and that I am willing to participate in the interview. My signature below certifies that I consent to my participation in the study and I acknowledge the receipt of a copy ofthis consent. _ _I also wish to have a copy of the results of the study. _ _ I do not want a copy of the results of the study. Signature of participant Date Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 62 APPENDIX AI Translation of the Letter to the Filipino Language Minamahal kong kababayan, Ako ay isang mag-aaral sa "University of Northern British Columbia" at kasalukuyang gumagawa ng isang pagsasaliksik tungkol sa mga kababaihang Filipino na nagkaroon ng kapalaran na makapangasawa ng isang banyaga. Ako ay humihingi ng tulong sa inyo upang kayo ay makabahagi sa pag-aaral na ito. Kayo ay aking tatanungin tungkol sa mga kaibahan pangkultura na nakakaapekto ng inyong pag-sasama, ng inyong mga tagumpay at suliranin at kung mayroon man ay kung paano ninyo ito lutasin. Hindi ko gagamitin ang inyong tunay na pangalan upang kayo ay mapangalagaan. Mayroon din kayong karapatan na hindi ipagpatuloy ang pakkikibahagi kahit na nasa kalagitnaan ng pagtatanungan. Ang mga malilikum na kwento ay aking itatago sa isang "file" at sisirain pagkatapos na ito ay mapag-aralan. Ang layunin ng pag-aaral ng ito ay upang makatulong sa dagdag kaalaman ng mga "multicultural counsellors" sa kanilang pakikitungo sa mga kabababaihang Filipino. Asahan ninyo na ang lahat ng mga "data" ay pangangalagaan ng husto. Kung mayroon kayong tanong, ako ay inyong matatawagan sa telepono bilang 5640488 at maari din ninyong tawagan ang aking tagapatnubay na si Dr. Peter MacMillan sa "University of Northern British Columbia", 960-5828. Kayo ay bibigyan ng resulta ng pag-aaral kung inyong kakailanganin. Maraming salamat sa inyong pakikibahagi. Sumasainyo, Editha R. de Rama MEd. Candidate Educational Counselling University of Northern British Coumbia Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 63 Pahintulot: Ito ay nagpapatunay nabasa ko ang liham ni Editha R de Rama at ako ay sumasangayon na makibahagi sa pag-aaral ng ito. _ _ _ _Gusto kong magkaroon ng kopya ng resulta ng pag-aaral _ _ _ _Hindi ko kailangan ang kopya ng resulta ng pag-aaral. Inyong lakda Petsa Intermarriages of Filipino Immigrant Women 64 APPENDIXB The following set of questions served as guidelines during the interview. 1. You are in an interracial relationship. Could you identify the Filipino culture patterns that you brought into the marriage? 2. How do racial, cultural, class, religious, or language differences affect the marriage? 3. How do you resolve these differences so as to keep the marriage intact and stable? 4. What do you think are the qualities of a Filipino woman that help keep the marriage intact? 5. Do you feel comfortable bringing out your problem/s to a counsellor or do you try to solve it yourself? 6. What do you think are the advantages/disadvantages of intermarriage? Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 65 APPENDIXBl Mga katanungan: 1. Kayo ay nagkaroon ng kapalaran ng makapangasawa ng isang banyaga. Anu-anu ang mga kaugalian o kulturang Pilipino na inyong dinala sa pag-sasama na sa palagay ninyo ay nakakaapekto sa pag-sasama? 2. Paano nakakaapekto ng pagsasama ang magkaibang kultura, lahi, relihion, o Iinguwahe? 3. Anong hakbang ang inyong ginagawa o ginawa upang malutas ang mga balakid na ito? 4. Ano sa palagay ninyo ang mga katangian ng babaing Pilipino na nakakatulong upang ang pagsasamahan ay maging maayos? 5. Kayo ba ay nakaranas ng humingi ng tulong sa isang "counselor'' upang matulungan kayong malutas ang inyong problema o di kaya ay sinisikap muna ninyo itong lutasin bago humingi ng tulong sa iba? 6. Ano sa palagay ninyo ang mga benepisyo ng isang nakapangasawa ng isang banyaga? Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 66 APPENDIXC DEMOGRAPHIC INFORMATION 1. Place of birth 2. Present age 3. Age at marriage 4. Place of residence at time of marriage 5. Place of marriage 6. Type of marriage ceremony : Civil, Church 7. Previous civil status :never married, separated, widowed, divorced 8. Number of children from previous marriage, if an_y_ 9. Number of children in the marriage 10. Occupation at time of marriage 11. Length of courtship 12. Length of marriage 13. Highest educational attainment: Highschool, College, University 14. Religion 15. How you met: e.g. through friends, pen-pal writing 16. Where you met: e.g. Place of work, place of residence, or specify place like in the Philippines, in Canada Wife Husband Intermarriages ofFilipino Immigrant Women 67 APPENDIXD Cahill·s Rating Scale RATING SCALE * Below are statements about intermarriages. Please rate the statements as to whether you 1 = strongly disagree ( SD) 2 = disagree ( D) 3 = undecided (U) 4 =agree (A) 5 = strongly agree (SA) 1. It is prestigious to have a husband who is a foreigner. 2. If a Filipino woman marries a foreigner, it is more likely that she will have a home of her own equipped with modem gadgets and appliances. 3. In general, life is easier in a foreign land than in the Philippines. 4. The Filipino wife gets even more glamorous when she Makes her home in a foreign land. 5. In a Filipincrforeigner marriage, the wife is luckier than the Husband. 6. The husband should earn enough to enable his wife and kids to visit the Philippines every few years. 7. One bonus of an intercultural marriage is that the Filipino wife can travel abroad. 8. The Filipino wife's family back home also benefits from intercultural marriage because she can send some money home. 9. It is more likely that one will have lovely children if one's Husband is a non-Filipino. 10. In a foreign country, a Filipino wife often meets some discrimination from other women in the neighborhood. 11. It is difficult to have a foreign mother-in-law. 1 = SD 2=D 3=U 4=A 5=SA