FOOT RELAY
THE GREAT RACE

It was a dark and stormy
night...the forces of evil
were reeking havok upon the
members of the greatest team.
entered. No one was to
realize the extent of the
devestation on "The Dark
Horses".

The morning saw the toll:
one missing (presumed dead),
one in critical condition
(wishing he was dead! Retch!!
and Sharon.

Hopes were dim, faces were
long when, suddenly, without
warning, and obviously with

_the grace of some great power

there was delivered unto our
. sagging crew, Steve ''Ring-a-
ding'' LaBelle.

The team was off in a:
flash,’ all in high spirits,
with the exception of Barf
Jamieson who was still

suffering from a different
form of spirits. —

The chase vehicles in hot
pursuit with "6-Case"
Stephanison piloting the
Silver Rocket Rambler and
"'No-Stop'' Anders at the wheel
of the Magic Bus.

‘Until Quartz Rock Creek
City came into view, Jamieson
was just good ‘ole Bruce.
Then it was his turn to run.
Immediately thereafter his
name was changed to ''Barf'!
for reasons we need not
elaborate on.

Time marches on, and so.
did the Dark Horses. Not
many grains had fallen throu-
gh revered hour-glass when
the ether was rent verily by
the dulcid tones of ''Cheese
Chadwick", Buzzers buzzed,
chickens clicked, and Polar-
oid shots were ruined.

Racing through Good Hope
Lake Hollow came the Dark
Horses. Applause, horn

blasts, and hearty cheers

wer& in order as ''Crash''
Peltier negotiated the
torturous mile of pavement,
having only shortly before
singlehandedly taken on the.
most treacherous descent of
Ried's Hill.

Rounding what is commonly
known as Barf Lake
member of the jolly Joggers
vas heard to exclaim=''Yonder,
Jamieson, | spy thine own
lake.'' “This comment caused a
new round of activity off the
back of the Magic Bus.

Stouter hearts prevailed
however, and it was not long
before-having been outdis-
tanced by the technologically
superior Rangers-the Steeds
of Blackness realized that
not much could withstand
their most terrible onslaught
as they verily streaked
through the virtually track-
less wilderness regions.

Chain Lakes hove, if not
into the sight, then at least
into the minds of the "daunt-
less dozen-less two'' where
‘sundry spectators, the clerk
of the course among them,
warned our heroes of a rear
attack by those dreaded
aquanauts, those dwellers of
the nether regions - ''The

Swim Team".

The pace quickened, Mighty
Mite Drzimotta tater to go
down in history as the Mile-
age Monster, though not able
to drive (due only to legal
considerations) manned the
tape deck and was a constant
source of inspiration,
especially since good 'ole.
Barf was being somewhat less
than that.

It was now that the shock
troops of the Horsemen pre-
vailed. ''6-Case" bound down
the road, setting a record
for 25 yard dashes. "Old

p44, ?
_ teh

Zeller the sinuous Swiss
shook of fF the rags and
impedementa of his elder
position and streaked through
hill and dale, sometimes, it
is reputed clearing entire
washboard sections at a
Single bound. | .

Down the Chain Lakes road
rumbled the Juggernaut of the
Righteous. Itt was here that
both Paul ''No~Stop'! Anders
and the Magic Bus earned .
their titles.

Imagine, if you will, the
following scene of terror.
The Silver Rocket stopped,
abandoned at the base of a
hill, the Magic Bus (no
brakes) coming over the rise,
the Magistrate of the Crown
in pursuit when the '56
Willys stalled--stereo blar-
ing, and No-Stop revealing
with cries of ''0h Mercy,
Mercy'' the reason for his -
title. -Just in time, and of
its own volition, the Magic
Bus started, lurched over the
crest and bore down on the
helpless Silver Rocket. At
this time the driver of the
Magic Bus (who was also owner
of the target vehicle) was
crying-even harder. It was
then that Jim ''Clean-em-up!!
Hoover saved the day with a
superhuman, lightning bolt
run and a single bound throu-
gh the window, blasted the
Rocket from out of harm's
way.

-Now the entire crew, over-
come by enthusiasm, raced
towards the finish line with
cries of ''Huzzah''and ''Wee-ha'!
resounding from the surround-

Ing peaks.
First in Right, First tn
Might, Third in Place. The

Dark Horses drowned their
woes and condescended to
engage in frivolities with
the peasants for the rest of

‘the Day.