Over the Edge + October 20, 2010 The Rundown on Halloween Costumes Your cheat sheet of timeless trends HELLO MY NAME IS John Jacob Jingle heimer Schuonidt ECATERINA CIUGURNEAU FEATURES EDITOR We can trick ourselves into believing in free will and what not but whether we like it or not, 98% of Halloween costumes fall into these 5 categories. And if you are offended or easily upset, prove me wrong. All it takes is creativity. Traditional Defining features: Fake blood, witch brooms, fangs (yep, a defining feature of something other than Edward Cullen) The Rundown: These good people try to keep up with the traditional morale of Halloween. They dress up “scary” (| am sorry Bill Morrison, who taught me that quotations marks are for nothing other than direct quotes, but there’s no other way to go about this). How do | say this delicately? We lived through a recession and 11 seasons of Dancing with the Stars , | am pretty sure we are no longer scared of anything. So let me recap: you won’t look scary OR attractive, and that fake blood is a bitch to get off. Have fun! Examples: Witches, vampires, ghosts, zombies, mummies, my face with no make-up on. Slutty Defining features: animal ears, glitter, minimal amounts of — both clothing AND self-esteem. The Rundown: Since when is adding the term “sexy” or “slutty” to a legitimate profession such as a firefighter, police officer, Sweet and Spicy Butternut Squash Soup ONLINE SOURCE From left to right: the traditional, the half assed, obnoxious, current, slutty. Which one will you be this halloween? construction officer or anurse a good idea? Why don't you just do us all a favour and dress up as a hooker or Courtney Love since that’s where you are going with your “costume” anyway? And although vomit/other body liquids often accessorize these costumes, | would just like to salute these girls. With your short skirts, low cut shirts, glittered up boobs and the “can do” attitude in our cold Northern BC weather you have way more balls than the costume wearers below, that’s for sure. Examples: Cats and other feline creatures, including characters of Josie and the Pussy cats. Obnoxious Defining features: boughtatthe store “San Francisco”, stupid The Rundown: You are not funny and you will be going home alone (or with a girl who is dressed up as a cat). In the best case scenario, you are physically attractive, which means girls will forgive you (almost) anything. In the worst case scenario, you are not, which means girl will describe everything you ever do as “creepy”. Unfair? All of life is. My only piece of advice is recognize these urges (bad Halloween costume ideas) early and take preventative measures: an actually funny idea. Examples: something that has to do with beer or sexual innuendos Current Defining features: recently and excessively seen inthe press The Rundown: Thanks to these costumes, we instantly know who is keeping up with the current events. How revealing (but not as revealing as those slutty cat costume, again...for an animal completely covered in fur, women find alot of leeway to show some skin). The saddest part about this costume, other than the people in it (| don’t mean that, this is my favourite costume category), is the fact that 50 other people have the same idea as you (and chances are, they executed it better). Surprise, surprise. You’re not the only person who watches TV. Examples: H1N1/swine flu, Sarah Palin, the Joker, Michael Jackson, the balloon boy, Lady Gaga Ideas for this year: Avatar OR James Cameron, Tiger Woods OR his mistresses, the Pregnant Man, Snooki’s puff OR the Situation’s abs, U.S. health care reform OR the HST tax. Half Assed Defining features: the lack of effort, “too cool for school/ National holidays” attitude, and 3 times out of 10—aname tag. The Rundown: | know, | know. You won’t stand for any of this. You just want to go get hammered at a party and it’s a costume only event. Chances are a person or 2 (who inevitably has what we in the business call “bad taste”) will even compliment you on your outfit. Well how about this for a whisper of sweet nothings? You don’t even deserve to be mentioned in the article. Go to value village and stay there. Examples: THE name tag, cross dressing (boys, tucking your penis between your legs and slapping on some lipstick is NOT good enough), calling your pyjamas a costume. This hearty vegan soup is sure to get you through those cold nights as we enter the winter HELEN HOGETERP COPY EDITOR When | have a busy week | love to make up a big pot of soup and keep it in the fridge so that | can simply heat up a bowl when | don’t have time to cook. Warms you up from the inside! Bake a butternut squash in the oven with for about 45 minutes or until soft... that is, halve it, remove seeds, and bake it face-down on a baking sheet with a bit of oil or butter at 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Allow to cool to the point where you can remove the peel. Cut into largish cubes. Broth: Bring 3-5 cups of water to a boil. Add: 1 chopped leek (finely slice the white part and leave the leaves long) 2-3 stalks celery, chopped 1 small onion, chopped 1 tablespoon fresh mint leaves, finely diced This soup not only looks appetizing, it is appetizing! ONLINE SOURCE