LIFE IN RES

by Bambi and Cricket

Welcome to Life in Res! a
column for you and
hopefully by . Have you
got a wild and zany story
about Res that you'd love
to tell? We'll let everyone
in on it! A question you're
dying to ask? We'll find
the answers! One of the
questions we've been
pondering is “Why do the
elevators in Res never
seem to work?” As Cricket
found out oné afternoon,
this sometimes means
more than a frustrating
inconvenience on moving
day...

“Just the other day | was
returning to Res from a
shopping expedition.
Since | was laden with
groceries, Iedecided to
use the elevator. It looked
innocent enough; why,
the repair man had been
here just the day before. |
pushed the button. The
door started to open, and
| entered the elevator.
Then, SLAMI!! The inner
door shot towards me and
pinned me half in and half
out of the elevator! A kind
person helped me get
free and held the door
open while | retrieved my
groceries which had
made it inside. | was very
angry - | mean my eggs
could have been crushed!
1 went to use the
emergency phone to
make a report...it was
gone! | grumbled as |
walked up the stairs.”

Does this story sound
familiar? If you live in Res,
chances are it sounds a

E NOKTA

little too familiar.
Electronic devices in
general seem to be. the
source of much anxiety
and frustration in Res. If it’s
not the elevators, then it's
the main door, or the
dryers, or even the fire
alarm! So what's up? Is it
all part of some big
conspiracy worthy of
investigation by Moulder
and Scully? Could it be
the Branch Davidians

sending subliminal
messages through the
system (the Diebold

system is operated out of
Waco Texas) or the work
of some gleefully fiendish
gnomes? The answer
turned out to be almost as
surprising as some of the
problems. We have
vandals in our midst! No,
not Randalls, vandals.
While vandalism may not
explain all the electronic
failures in Res, it certainly
seems to account for
many of the problems with
the elevators. OK, so they
may never have worked
right to begin with, but it
doesn't help when people
deliberately stop them
between floors and then
proceed to pry the doors
open. This practice
seriously damages the
system, and means that
the next person trying to
use the elevator will
probably get trapped
inside when the doors
refuse to open, . or
squished when they close
too soon. Prying the doors

CKN VNDEKGRKA
STUDENT SOCIETY

Congratulates

Cherie Alexander, Ken Janzen, Graham Pearce and
Renate Schmid For Winning...

THE GREAT UNBC SCAVENGER HUNT!

SPONSORED BY NUGSS

AND
VIA RAIL

open when you do get
stuck apparently just
makes any problems
worse. So if prying the
doors open to get out is
the wrong thing to do,
what should we be doing?
Using the emergency
phone in the elevators to
call for help, says Randall
Brazzoni of Student
Housing. Evenif it’s not an
emergency, we should be
using the phones to report
all the problems with the
elevators as they happen.
Unfortunately, this doesn't
work when people steal
the phones.

All of this wastes
ridiculous amounts of
money - our money. Over
$2000 have been spent on
repairing the elevators this
year alone, and over $800
to replace missing
phones. Another $700 is
being spent to replace
the phones altogether
with a more vandal
resistant system. As
students struggling with
loans, we can think of
dozens of ways we'd
rather spend our money
then paying for someone
else's idea of fun. What
about you? How would
you rather spend that
money? Student housing
has suggested that if we
can bring vandalism
down, they'd be willing to
return some of our money
in the form of T-shirts, beer
mugs, a year end party,
or...one of your own ideas.
So how about it?

DVATI

TAKE A LOOK AT THE TRAIN TODAY

Page 7 — Over The Edge -- April i, 1997

Movie Review

Liar, Liar
By Jeremy Fung

Jim Carrey is back in his
funniest movie since Ace
Venutra: Pet Detective.
This hilarious comedy
about a defense lawyer
and his morals, will have
you rolling on the floor.
Fletcher (Jim's character),
is a lying scoundrel, he has
only two motives, success
and his love for his son.
Unfortunately for Fletcher,
his son doesn't see his

program. Enrollment is limited.

e-mail: admissions@brandonu.ca

“a7 ae
>
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at Brandon University

Brandon University offers a unique baccalaureate degree program
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If you already have courses toward a Bachelor of Science or other
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Brandon University chartered 1967

lying as anything but evil.
When Maximillians’s (the
son) birthday wish, that his
father can't tell a lie for a
day, comes true the

movie kicks into overdrive.
Liar, Liar is the first movie
that the child acting in it
hasn't ruined the movie.
This movie will keep you
laughing the whole way
through, go see it.