SOUNDCHECK by Lauren Bacon As this is our last issue before the Christmas holidays, here’s a whack of the stuff that’s crossed my make-believe desk in the last couple of weeks. Hope it helps you make your shopping choices. David Palmer Passing Open Windows: A Symphonic Tribute to Queen Sony Music Believe it: this is an album of Queen songs, arranged for full symphony orchestra. David Palmer, since leaving ’70s legends Jethro Tull, has conducted orchestras the world over, and has recently, is seems, moved on to Symphonic Rock. Now, before you dismiss this album out of hand as gimmicky or cheesy, I must insist that any among -you who have a fondness for over-the-top-ness take a listen. Yes, it is pretty cheesy, but in its own way, the album is, well, majestic. “Killer Queen” is just incredible. Don’t get me wrong -. nothing here improves on the originals - but there is a certain something to this Beethoven-pillaging, Hollywood-soundtrack- imitating melange. The orchestration is very impressive, technically, although Palmer does tend to overdo it on the soprano sax. He thoughtfully avoids overlaying vocal tracks on all but “We Are The Champions”, thank god, because he knows nobody wants to hear some hack do a Freddie Mercury impersonation. I’m not sure whether I’m disappointed or relieved at the lack of a “Bohemian Rhapsody” arrangement. On one hand, it could have been great if they could have got Pavarotti, Domingo and Carreras to do it. Just imagine... Classical Judge: 2.5 Classic Rock Judge: 2 Camp Value Judge: 4 Legion of Green Men Spatial Specific Virgin Music One of the perks of being a record reviewer is that you get to make up genres. I think that Legion of Green Men would . Classify as Low Budget Ambient Tent at a Canadian Rave. ; Most of this album is the kind of stuff that my dear friend Sean would describe as “greeeeat when you’re stoooooned.” If you, however, listen to it chemically unenhanced, be prepared to be bored before you get to the first good track, which is “Synaptic Response (faculties of cognition)”. Many tracks show promise, but fail, ultimately, to progress kind of admire the guy for lasting so long, but I am so not into guys bragging about women and guns that I just can’t do him justice. Plus, have I ever been in a ghetto? No. So forget it. Listen to it yourself. The Presidents of the United States of America I Sony Music Brilliant title aside, I gotta say, this is not a great album. I guess it’s supposed to be full Page 13 Over The Edge - F good dose of leadership; as it stands, they are so lacking in originality that their music is indistinguishable from half the bands on the market. Mercifully, the songs are short. Guitar Band Judge: 2 Lyrics Judge: 2 Cover Art Judge: 1 Various Artists O Come All Ye Faithful: Rock For Choice Sony Music in any way beyond one or two ideas repeated ad nauseam. “Logarithm One Point Two” is similarly basic, but there is at least a fairly hypnotic effect, which cannot be said for the majority of the album. However, the cover is SO great - a printed sheet of plastic over the regular paper thingie, which when moved around, produced kaleidoscope effects - that basically makes up for the music. Trippiness Judge: 2.5 Actual Content Judge: 2 Cover Art Judge: 4 Ice T VI: Return of the Real Virgin Music I really don’t know now I am supposed to review Ice T. I of irony and humor, but the lyrics alternate between snotty and stupid, and the music is derivative. It’s not so much that the songs are bad - but they all sound like you’ve heard them a million times already. There are lots of bands that make a living by rehashing old styles, but succeed in making them their own; P.U.S.A. is not one of those bands. Even when they’re trying to be ironic, they end up being boring. the album is composed of mostly upbeat guitar-driven songs, in the surf-grunge vein. The most entertaining aspect of the band’s work is their impressive imitation of 70’s and 80’s stadium-rock guitar riffs - see “Bug City” for a cool Cars-ish bit - but a few funny moments do not an album make. The Presidents could use a Around Christmas, there are all sorts of benefit albums released. Most of them are mediocre. Here, however, is an album you can almost forget is a Christmas record. There are a couple of covers of Christmas carols here - namely, Bush’s hilarious “Good King Somethingorother,” and The Cranes’ surreal version of John Lennons’s “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” — but everything is fresh, and the majority are new. There’s no saccharine holiday spirit here; even “Twas the Night Before Christmas” gets reworked into an apocalyptic nightmare in Henry Rollins’ hands. Highlights include the Dance Hall Crashers’ fast and funny “I Did It For the Toys”, Wool’s “Xmas It’s Christmas”, which features a loud, wildly out-of- tune children choir, and Luscious Jackson’s hypnotic “Queen of Bliss.” Also impressive are Mike Watt And The Crew Of The Flying Saucer, who turn out a surfy instrumental called “The Little Drummer Boys”, and a very funky final track, “Nemene”, by Deep forest and Wes Madiko. ~ This is a very strong compilation, and one which should last beyond December 25, Compilation Judge: 4 Cover Art Judge: 3.5 Benefit Album Judge: 4 Jamiroquai Traveling Without Moving Sony Music I saved the best for last. Jamiroquae’s third album is an incredibly well wrought piece of work. Now here’s a band that knows how to pillage past decades without getting their harids caught in the cookie jar. Traveling Without Moving is so 70' I flashbacked to my parents basement, flicking the lights on and off and discoing with my siblings and the next door neighbors. Jamiroquai deftly avoids repeating the past somehow, through —there’s enough irony and creatively here to bring the album solidly into the 90’s “Virtual Insanity”, “Cosmic Girl”, and “Alright” give the . album a good dose of disco , complete with strings and old synth riffs. Interspersed among these funky dance songs are deeper R&B numbers and some great didgeridoo work by Wallace Buchanan. All the players are strong as hell, and the production work is exceptional. Possibly the best funk album of the year. Buy it. Funk Judge: 4 Lyrics Judge: 3.5 Cover, Art Judge: 4