Over the Edge + January 19

Residence Life: Playing with Fire

How students in Keyoh spent the morning of January 8th

ECATERINA CIUGUREANU
FEATURES EDITOR

Like my friend Andre Nickatina says, “Listen to
the story I’m about to tell, another table about
that yayo.” Approximately at 4am on Saturday
morning, if you can call it that, some douchebag
pulled the fire alarm in residence 2, titled Keyoh.
Fire alarms in residence are always extra
special. First of all, you get to see, which of your
roommates actually like you. | am currently at 0,
since all my roommates evacuated faster than

| could say, “Where the f*** are my socks??”
While most people’s first instinct is to get out

as soon as possible, | chose to at least apply
deodorant first. Counter-intuitive? | beg to differ.
Residents of the building unhappily stumbled
outside in a zombie-like fashion. Special
shoutout goes to the man in a beautiful baby
blue robe. One word for ya: hot! Neyoh, fellow
residence building, was stuffed like a little pizza
pop, but the fire fiasco was sorted out shortly.
Just as | got in, got myself comfortable by taking
off both my contacts and pants, the fire alarm
goes off again at 4:30am-ish. Around 75 percent
of residents stumbled back inside for a do

over. The only curious part about this Saturday
morning outing was seeing everyone’s one night
stands. Yes, we're talking to your Mercedes.

Not much to add. We stumbled inside again.

| turned on a TV show and fell into lethargic
sleep, possibly even an alcohol induced coma. |
dreamt about a fire alarm, which almost seemed
real but | dismissed it. | mean, | just watched
Inception so maybe this was something like
that. Nope, an unidentified amount of time later,
| hear someone breaking into my room with

Pulling firealarms as a joke gets you a little closer to burning in hell

Relationships vs. Jobs

The eternal question

DEVON FLYNN
CONTRIBUTOR

Between snowboarding and gorging on Christmas sweets
and turkey over the holidays, | managed to read “The One-
Week Job Project” by Sean Aiken. It’s a story of a young
man who didn’t know what he wanted to do for a career.
Sick and tired of the timeless question as to what career he
wanted, he set out to work 52 jobs in 52 weeks and discover
his passions. Even from getting just a taste of a motley mix
of jobs from an assortment of professionals, Aiken was able
to do some soul searching and whittle that annoying and
vague as hell question down a few notches, that question
that never fails to piss off students to some degree: “What
do | want to do for a career?” It was an amazing story that
| highly suggest every student read (and don’t wait for the
film!). But as you will find out when you read Aiken’s book,
there’s an integral love story involved. | won't spoil it for you,
but it did get me thinking — just how different is a job from a
relationship?

We all remember our first, don’t we? Your clothes were
all sweaty and stained, and although you were tired and
ready to fall asleep, you were deeply satisfied inside. Then
you remember you left the kitchen light on after you closed
up the restaurant for the night. See? The sexy sarcasm
aside, we put in just as much effort into a job as we would a
relationship.

Just as any typical parent or counsellor will tell you, that first
real job flipping burgers at McDonald’s was not a waste of
time. Sure, you made a bit of money and goofed off, and
would sure as hell never go back; but you also learned
valuable skills like work ethics, punctuality, and what's
REALLY in the secret sauce. Although your first relationship
was just as awkward, you picked up a few things along the
way. You learned to be empathetic, how to communicate, and
just how pissed off women can get over you not putting the
toilet seat down. And whether it’s work or the boy/girlfriend,
shit will hit the fan if you are late! We slog through these
big first experiences, usually fretting that we will screw up

somehow. Eventually, we become aware that there will be
other jobs and other people and we will get better at what we
do. While the paltry nature of our first experience is obvious,
our last is not: What is the end? What will we get from these
experiences?

We educate ourselves and hone our work skills so to achieve
the career of our choice, one where we can be happy and
successful. We date and commit to another’s well-being for
the sake of company, sexual satisfaction, and dare | say...
love? | am sure many of us eventually want to end up with
someone we love and can spend the rest of our lives with,
whether that be in the traditional marriage or another equally
satisfying relationship. | am still on the fence concerning the
concept of any form of marriage myself, but why worry about
it while | am young and single, right?

There is an insane amount of pressure today to cultivate our
lives into a final result of something grand and spectacular.
Parents expect us to perform well in school and achieve a
successful career; professors expect scholarly-journal worthy
essays; schools demand excellent grades and a wide range
of extra-curricular activities; and employers demand all of
these qualities in addition to work know-how on applications.
Many of us have just decided to struggle and strive to do our
best, or just coast along and have a little fun along the way.

| am a fond believer in the old adage that the journey is
more important than the destination. The things we learn,
the people we meet, and the experiences we have make it
worthwhile to end up where we do. | am also fond of having
fun while you are young, whether it is while working or in a
relationship. Who can honestly say they’ve never messed
around at their job once or twice? While it is important to
take pride in finishing that Johnson report that was due a
week ago or being polite while bagging that old lady’s
groceries, there’s nothing wrong with a few practical jokes
here and there. | ran a fitness centre by myself for awhile,

, the announcement, “Residence assistants

_ entering your bedroom.” | am half asleep,
half drunk, half hung over, AND half naked.
Not a good look on ANYONE. The R.A. is
attempting to have a conversation with me,
while | am practically having a fist fight with
my sweat pants. She asks me if anyone

is in the room... to which | respond with,
“no”. Perhaps | was so tired | thought | was
invisible. | was told to evacuate immediately,
which forced me to exceed my personal
record for exiting a room. | hopped down the
hallway in shoes with untied shoelaces, the
only hazard | was facing in that situation,
since as far as I’m concerned there was no
fire. Entering Neyoh was plain sad: people
sleeping on the floor, reading their textbooks,
and generally looking tired and distraught.
Meanwhile, a couple of Neyoh residents
who willingly got up at Gam were embarking
on a snowboarding trip. Hope you guys had
fun! The second floor of Neyoh looked like a
Chilean mine: dark and depressing. We got
to go inside another 30 minutes later. | fell
asleep almost instantly, fully clothed this time.
So, dear three alarm burglar named after
the Red Robin’s five alarm burger (clever, |
know), while | appreciate this unprecedented
disaster, please pull this shit in Neyoh next
time, or better yet jump off a cliff. | now have
PTSD and only 60% of my hearing left. And
now you are famous. Sort of like Conrad
Murray. Look him up.

ONLINE SOURCE

and | can honestly tell you, there are so many ways to abuse
those BOSU and exercise balls! Relationships should be fun
too! | don’t think | need to give examples here. But when
you compare a job with a relationship, the fun stops for both
when you ask yourself, “Do | see myself here in five, ten,
fifteen plus years?” | am sure many of us wouldn’t know how
to answer but we feel as though we should.

It was a question Aiken asked himself throughout his 52 week
endeavour. He wanted to cultivate a life built on conscious
decisions and passion, not fear and uncertainty. Relationships
can produce the same enigmatic emotions, prompting
impetuous decisions to break up or get married, sometimes
at a young age. I’ve been to several young weddings in the
past few years and even | can’t say if those friends, most
my age, have made the right choice. I’m not them. | can’t
gauge their passion for each other or understand how they
put up with the other’s foibles yet still sound so lovey-dovey
on their Facebook statuses. It’s the same confusion you feel
when someone tells you they love their job that doesn’t pay
as much as their old one, but they couldn’t be happier. We
can’t fully understand it until we experience it ourselves.
What if we find ourselves doubting if what we currently have
is worth holding onto? Is my current job worthy of becoming
a career that makes me happy or will | regret not expanding
my horizons and trying new things? Is my current partner
someone | can be with and eventually convince to try that
kinky move, or will | regret the small number of people I’ve
been with and wonder about those | haven’t had the pleasure
of knowing more intimately?

| wouldn’t expect many young people to know the answers
to these questions. Even after reading Aiken’s book, | still
don’t know. But then again, I’m a single and jobless student!
Just as | procrastinated by writing this article instead of
doing homework, I'll worry about that stuff later! For now,
it’s important to enjoy where we are and how it will get us to
where we are going...eventually.