Over The Edge Page 8 . March 9, 1999 Kornered on Kampus Kristina Redlon | was going to write a scathing report about the state of our world today, with all it’s grue- someness. Not that: it isn’t well deserved, but by the time 1 had fin- ished it | was deeply deppressed. Everyday we are sorrounded by inhumanity, racism, agism, sexism, poverty, corruption, and that is our world. But before | begin a rant, | must remind myself that this is a fun column. An entertainment piece of no real significance, but to take people away from the insanity that is life. In the crazy society we have built there are people to look to as symbols of what we all could acheive. The most prominent are of course those the media picks, but I’m sure each of us has someone we respect and admire. When | think of heroes | think of Martin Luther King,Jr., the women Who are your heroes? eS oD (A Waitt hieier Pt hesitation)’Terry Fox, Rick Hansen, and Tony Hawk” Neil, Environmental Studies, Fourth Year. “My Dad. He’s my hero.” Dan, Political Science, First Year who helped themselves and all women get the vote, and soldiers who went to war for freedom. There seems to be a general consensus among those in the know that young gener- ations are devoid of heroes. There is an impression of an avoid- ance towards holding anyone in high regard. It's sad to me that so many people around me have no one to look up to, no respect for the great leaders around us. | can’t speak for the whole (nor would | assume to) but | do have a hard time finding someone in the world who’s entire personal acheivements should be rewarded. Maybe | don’t pay enough aittention, don’t look hard enough, but there do seem to be less heroes in the world today. Underappreciated anyone? | think good role models are the best heroes. The “My Heroes? Oh, um, would have to say prob- ably, my Dad. And ah...Christopher Reeves. Kyla, Resource Recreation, Third Year “Neil Diamond” Tamara, Psychology, Fourth year. people who plug away every day to instigate change around them, the good teachers, par- ents, volunteers and civil servants who make a better world. The people whom are an inspiration to emulate. Heroes, | think, are people we idolize, and usually appear larger than life. Yes, | too have been sucked in by the celebri- ty crazy world we live in. The person | would like to mold my career after is Aaron Spelling. | respect those who see what they want and go out and get it. Inspiration in my real life has many faces and names, and kindness is the common theme. But there is a focus in our world, espe- cially in the media to focus on the negative and bring down any one daring to try to do some- thing admirable. And on that bitter note, | ask, “Um..My Hero?” “Someone you admire” “My brother.” Kathryn, Wildlife, First Year. “Heroes...Glen Clark.’(laughs) Gursh, Environmental Planning, Second and a half Year. ge N ea Aries (March 21-April 19) The next time you host a house party, your roommates your wardrobe and cut all your jeans to a "Daisy Dukes" standard. Taurus (April 20-may 20) Personal hygiene is again an issue this week. You realize that green bits on your floss are mates saving floss by back into the container. Vegetarian (Carrot-tofu) (in the continuing saga of Gemini) You will discover that the mulch that you have been using in your carrot "Mad Carrot Disease". This will explain that loss and craving for spreadable processed cheese. Cancer (June 21-July 22) You will enjoy your car only to dis- cover that you didn't buy a standard and you have been shifting from drive to reverse at every traffic light. Leo (July 23-Aug 22) garden contains memory The person of your always spring to mind when you are studying the primate biology. Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) Because of financial woes, you will skip the summer job and wander PG looking for loose change on the sidewalks. You will forced to pay your tuition in pennies. Libra (Sept 23-Oct Well, I’m back again. After the disclosures that occurred two weeks ago, it was quite likely that this publication would cease to exist due to the operations of The Basement. However, the agents at Covert Operations have held off all attacks of The Basement, so that | may continue to bring you reve- lations of the evil plots that are working under our very noses. One such plot is the plot of The Voting Zombies; a heinous opera- tion that renders most peo- ple helpless. This occurs when one goes to place Prepared by D. TAMS, MD” a9 * will get into drive. your room- rewinding it dreams will 22) Letters to the Editor can be sent to: mahoneO0 @unbc.ca his vote for anything. The Basement needs to have control of the government in order to survive. So, at any voting establishment, they simply set up the Zombifier. This hideous device caus- es the victim to become a Voting Zombie, who will vote anyway that is sug- gested to him in the next thirty seconds after being hit. The victim casts his ballot, and leaves the booth with absolutely no recollection of voting any- way other that the way he intended to vote. He is quite irritated when his Senators eae: oe ae 3 L " € : Se Res You will be popping tic-tacs only to realize that they are your girl- friend/wife's birth control. Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Because of your relative age to fel- low students, you will be insulted about your apparent lack of sexual Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) In a futile attempt to catch up after all the procrastination this semes- ter, you find that an IV of coke will be an effective study tool in the next month. Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Your brains will fly out your ear the next time you answer the phone because you will find you are talk- ing to an fax machine. Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) This is not the age of Aquarius. This is the age of raping and pillaging. Men will flee in fear as you expose your feminist tendancies. Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20) You will be unable to join in with the chorus at the end of the next rugby dance because you have tied the draw string of your shorts too tight and will be unable to get them undone. This will not be an entirely bad thing as you are now able to sing the soprano parts. party does not win, and has no idea that he com- mitted the treason of vot- ing for someone else. Of course, these devices of doom are not set up in every voting booth on the planet; The Basement needs some way to keep the public unsuspicious. After all, if you firmly believe that you voted for someone other than The Basement’s candi- date, it would be very sus- picious if one hundred per- cent of the votes went to The Basement, now wouldn't it? Oh, they are very sneaky.